Feeling Awful About Myself

[Vanysh]

Lately I've been really depressed. More and more I feel like I'm in the wrong body but I have no motivation to do anything about it. Like always I go through these phases where I want nothing but to be a girl. And everything that comes with being a girl. I can't help but feel that my life would be 1000 times better if I were a female. The clothes, the makeup, the dresses, the shoes, just everything. Is it wrong to feel like I need those things?

I hate my life.

[Teri Jean]

It may be time to see a gender therapist. They may be able to help you with your depression and are trained to help with the gender issues. Does it mean you need to transition, not in the least, but they can help you identify what will make you the happiest and comfortable. I wish you the best.

Teri

[jillleanne]

Yep, Teri is quite right. We all handle this differently and when we hit a bump in the road we cannot figure out, best bet is an expert in the field. Just be sure they are "experienced" in gender issues, not just a gp.

[NathalieX66]

I may not be in the same category as a transsexual, but I was at a TG support group meeting recentlty, and someome there mentioned something similar. All I can say is this:

Rule Number One: Don't go at it alone.

1. Find a therapist specialized in the field of gender issues.

2. Meet others who have gone down the path, and hear their experiences.

I wish you best of luck.
Hugs,
Nathalie

[Kaitlyn Michele]

V-

I hope you can get your head together and think about your situation ...you are going to need some kind of help to give you guidance and support no matter what you are thinking..

people with gender identity issues can get very lonely and distressed and its hard to think straight...you mentioned no motivation and thats something you need to think about...its hard to see past today and tomorrow by yourself...

why don't you post some more...if its about clothes and makeup and dresses then get some of those things and see how they make you feel..just talking about it may give you some positive motivation

the bottom line is that so many ts and cd folks get into this funk about feeling overwhelmed and sometimes it takes some soul searching to get out of it,...and to do that you need help and support

[TNRobin]

I don't have anything to add to the advice given, but I did notice that you're in KY and wanted to mention that if you're anywhere near Nashville that there's a really good group there that can help out in the way of support or point you to a good TG friendly therapist in that area. They call themselves the TVALs and the website is www.tvals.org. Whatever you do don't go it alone.

[Felicha]

The depression is also caused by being confused about your sexuality. I think that if the cloths and shoe's and make you feel better about your self then use them at home to motivate your self. Once you build your self confidence back up talk to a professional in gender disfunction and see what steps you should take next. Any time that you lose your way you should use a map and the professionals are our map to show us the way.

Felicha

[Vanysh]

Thanks for all your advice.

I've realized that there is nothing left for me, I've hit rock bottom. I'm not going to see a therapist, and I'm helpless. You can close this thread now.

[GypsyKaren]

Why are you helpless?

Karen

[Hope]

Karen asks a valid question. As always.

Here is the deal - often disappointment brings on a lack of motivation and the lack of motivation brings more disappointment with it. I have been on that particular merry-go-round way too often. It's not always easy to get off, but here is something that works: Do the things that you are good at, shaving, dressing, make-up, whatever. Put a couple of marks in the win column and you will feel better about yourself.

And go see a therapist. Seriously. That is a GREAT instinct - follow it.

[Felicity71]

Thanks for all your advice.

I've realized that there is nothing left for me, I've hit rock bottom. I'm not going to see a therapist, and I'm helpless. You can close this thread now.

ok ok, if you dont see a therapist, at least go to your local doctor. Or ring a help line. You sound like you really need some one to listen to your pain.

[Felicha]

Thanks for all your advice.

I've realized that there is nothing left for me, I've hit rock bottom. I'm not going to see a therapist, and I'm helpless. You can close this thread now.
I have found that no one is helpless or hopless. We all hit rock bottom at some time in our life and that doesn't meen things are over and done. That meens there is nowhere to go but up but you have to be willing to make the climb and realize that this is just a new begining.

[morgan51]

Find someone to talk to, one of us or on this forum just talking seems to help All here have been through this at some point in our journey, and it is a journey not a destination we are always learning and making small changes I'm sure this is true for most. Reaching out is hard to do but has great rewards. I agree the small changes even a few will make a big difference in the way you feel about yourself. I started just painting my toes when I felt down and it helped pick me up.

[Stephenie S]

And sweetie, don't feel bad about wanting to be a girl. That's perfectly normal. Doesn't EVERYONE?

[Sharon]

Is it is fear of being honest about yourself that prevents you from going to a therapist or counselor? Then you need to swallow hard and get over it. A first visit is always difficult, as it was for me a few years ago. Otherwise, is there someone else who you can talk to? Anyone? Or, barring that, why not use us as the ears you need? Open up and tell us what is going on.

Believe me, we care. :hugs:

[Byanca]

I take pictures of myself, and post on the net-not sure if this is all healthy, it's what 16 year old teenage girls do....They are about as cloth fetishistic as many of us are. Still it helps on self image if one does well and get good feedback.

Go to stores trying clothes. Library, work-if you can deal with that. Basically dress up and live as a woman as far as you can.

Go to the pub, dress as ****ty as you dare. I like to go to the gay pub, since they are not really interested in me, and not too hostile. So a good place too hang out if one is not looking for sex.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

But do make an appt with a Gender therapist to talk with or find a group that you can talk with others face to face. It helps to realize your not alone and others have experienced what your going thru and have made it past that point. Don't feel that your lost, as Nike says "Just Do It" Kimberly Marie Kelly :battingeyelashes:

[sherri52]

You do need to get some counsiling. Give the therapist your feelings and see where it leads.

[Myojine]

Lately I've been really depressed. More and more I feel like I'm in the wrong body but I have no motivation to do anything about it. Like always I go through these phases where I want nothing but to be a girl. And everything that comes with being a girl. I can't help but feel that my life would be 1000 times better if I were a female. The clothes, the makeup, the dresses, the shoes, just everything. Is it wrong to feel like I need those things?

I hate my life.

no, i feel that too,
i also have realy strong feelings of wanting children,convciving bearing, and mothering children( i have ever since i was 17)
i feel like this everyday.
realy im sorta wondering how many others have strong Motherly feelings

also, what about sexual feelings? i mean having sex as a female, for me becuase its becoming evident im realy Bisexual, with men and women.

[Byanca]

no, i feel that too,
i also have realy strong feelings of wanting children,convciving bearing, and mothering children( i have ever since i was 17)
i feel like this everyday.
realy im sorta wondering how many others have strong Motherly feelings

also, what about sexual feelings? i mean having sex as a female, for me becuase its becoming evident im realy Bisexual, with men and women.
Yes, this is natural. I hope science can fix this problem sooner then later. For me this is very depressing. Lots of women that have help conceiving today, I hope something can soon be done for us too.

[LisaMallon]

Never hate your life. It is a journey. Like all journeys you can choose your direction.

You've had wonderful past moments... you will have wonderful future moments.

And you are never alone, we are all here for you. And always will be.