D'oh! Purged.

[katiemay34]

OK, I'm guilty. I purged about a month ago and am now heading into the regret phase. How silly of me... it's the second time I've done this, since I haven't entirely embraced this side of myself. Well, at least it's an opportunity to cultivate a new and better look, right??

:)

[Veronica Nowakowski]

Sorry to hear. What made you want to purge?

[NathalieX66]

Sorry to hear. What made you want to purge?

Agree with Veronica.

There is no known cure for the urge to crossdress. It's just who you are.
Trust me....purging , plus ten years of denial, suppression, shame & embarrassment did nothing for me other than waste ten years.
When you have lemons, make lemonade. I'm enjoying life now, the planet is now mine. :drink:

[jenifer m.]

ive problably purged 20 times in my life and one would think that one would learn after a few times that your gonna go right back out and buy more stuff..damn its been expensive to be a crossdresser.i could have filled a good sized storage unit with all the stuff ive lost.oh well thats the life i chose.but i love it any way.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

There is no known cure for crossdressing...and unfortunately there is also no known cure for purging...:doh:

and don't give me the fashion update excuse...any body worth her salt knows that your fashion is about building up your wardrobe and finding that perfect top from 2 years ago .....:hugs:

[suit]

lol have to laugh at your self !
you can try to understand the deep seeded need , that takes a long time .
dont waste presious time/$$ purging.
the clothes are reflection of somthing you want or need to have to be ..... thats the hard part. dont waste good time after bad throwing it away...its somthing hard wird , and it need to be fed , you just need to find out how.

[katiemay34]

Thanks, ladies. I know it's totally ridiculous going back and forth! I think I was just concerned that since I don't have so much free time, it seemed like I was sorting wasting time with dressing and all. Also, since I don't really share it with anyone, I was kinda worried about being too reclusive. Oh well, I am sure it's something I'll figure out over time. Anyways, thanks for what you all have to say!

[Kittykitty]

Having been on the receiving end of a purge recently... if you're gonna do it, at least hook a sister up! Throw it up on craigslist or freecycle.

I always equated purging to bulimia.

BTW, unknown sister, if you're on here, the shoes rock! Thank you! :hugs:
(6 pairs!!!)

[SuzanneBender]

Purging bad, being who you are meant to be good! It only took me two times and I realized never again.


Agree with Veronica.

There is no known cure for the urge to crossdress. It's just who you are.
Trust me....purging , plus ten years of denial, suppression, shame & embarrassment did nothing for me other than waste ten years.
When you have lemons, make lemonade. I'm enjoying life now, the planet is now mine. :drink:

Nathalie you are so right. Its about being who you are. Not only is the planet yours an entire half of the planet that is closed off to us as men is now yours for the taking. I feel sorry for those men that don't get to experience the joys that we do as women.



ive problably purged 20 times in my life and one would think that one would learn after a few times that your gonna go right back out and buy more stuff..damn its been expensive to be a crossdresser.i could have filled a good sized storage unit with all the stuff ive lost.oh well thats the life i chose.but i love it any way.

OK Jenifer here is the plan send me all of your stuff next time with prepaid boxes to ship it back to you when you decide you can't live without it. I have a big closet and you look to be just about my size so the only cost you would incur is me getting to borrow your clothes. :hugs:

I think I am onto a philanthropic idea here. I need to turn my (Wo)man cave into a home for wayward wardrobes whose owners have felt the need to turn their beloved outfits into the cold.

[ArleneRaquel]

3 purgies are enuf 4 dis lady. :battingeyelashes:

[AmandaIL]

Only twice purged? Shoot, that ain't too bad at all. Chalk it up to "experience."

I'm starting to find that strategic purges have some effectiveness. When I feel a need to throw stuff away, I'll find something that maybe I don't use or doesn't fit and is actually reasonably worth tossing. Then I've satisfied a need to get rid of stuff, while actually refining what's worth keeping (and gets used) versus what probably doesn't belong in my wardrobe, anyway.

[Lynn Marie]

Amanda that's not purging, it's pruning!

I like Suzanne's idea. Send your stuff to another gal on the forum for storage or to use. The dumpster sounds so cold for a beloved collection.

Size 10 skirts, and 18T tops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

[Danielle76]

I shutter to think of all the dresses, bustiers and shoes I've lost in my many, many purges...

The stash I have right now I've held on to for .... almost a year now, I think. I believe this is the longest I've ever gone without purging. Sure is much cheaper to just keep your stuff and not have to replenish an entire wardrobe!

[Pepper2783]

Sweet hart I feel for you purging is hard. It's emotionally draining long story short. My last purge I almost killed my self. but I realized... Hay F*!& PEOPLE ! I'm awesome and like my self. Now I am not all the way out of the closet. Mostly due to the fact I don't want my family knowing about me. (but lets NOt talk about that) Just remember you are a beautiful woman inside. And well it gets way hard and nuts at times.BUT... You can do something some woman can't. Wear a pair of heels and just feel better.

And some of you need to remember cross dressing is not a desease. Even if there was a cure... Would you chang your self? You're not sick or rong you are you so... Here an idea stop crying !

[rachel_rachel]

I've done it a few times myself, If i was to ever do it again my wife would slap me senseless because of all the money i've spent.

[gabimartini]

Katie, thankfully we learn from our mistakes. Purging is very costly, financially and emotionally. It's just not worth it. I mean, do you throw away your lawnmower in the winter just because you don't use it often? Likewise, leave your girl things alone because you never know when you're gonna need them! ;)

[Sandra65]

It's somewhat ironic that we purge out of guilt and then we are left feeling remorse for all the great things we let go. I miss my LBD, black knee high boots and plaid mini skirt, amongst a whole host of things I tossed last year. The closet is bare right now under threat of being kicked out if I buy I again.

[Tina B.]

Three purges in my life, each time it lasted for a year or two, then it's back to the stores. Now after all of these years I realize purging is not so bad, I could use the extra room in the closet, and the storage space under the bed. But the trouble is I just can't let anything go anymore, I still miss a great pair of pumps made of ostrich that where so soft and comfortable, I guess it's time to let go of that, after 40 years I probably would have worn them out by now anyway.
Tina B.

[DonniDarkness]

Box the stuff up, store it, dont throw it out!!!
Consider it a time capsule till you feel rdy again

Usually its a situation or someone else effecting my outlook on myself when i get "fed up" and think of forcing myself into denial about who i am.

Ive purged before and it never helped, material things i own does not change the fact that i am more/less of a cross dresser

In fact you can own no feminine clothes at all and deny your feminine side completely for just long enough to realize your lying to yourself, forcing yet even more guilt and stress...

Ive been here

and am still there some days

So, Chin up

i try to

oh and look

http://www.amiclubwear.com/index.html

Hugs and kisses
-Donni-

[cdsara88]

I've shared the feeling you have about not having enough time, and wondering if crossdressing was really a good way to spend ANY time since it's a somewhat solitary activity.

Seeing the beautiful girls on this site and reading about their enjoyment definately helped me accept that I crossdress because I enjoy crossdressing. And even though I'm a pretty independent person anyway, I've really enjoyed the community aspect here. FWIW, my goal was to get passable enough to be able to go out and meet some of these girls and share the experience with others. Might be something for you to consider.

@SuzanneBender - I love your idea for storing "purged" clothes for other people! Maybe charge a small monthly fee.. like $3/month or something to encourage people to get their stuff back out of storage :) hahahahahaha

@MissDonni - thanks for the link! How's the quality on their clothes?

[Katie Sophie]

I've lost so many cute tops, dresses, skirts, lingerie, and shoes in purges... I think I've done that 4 times now. It's really always something I regret, but the strange thing is that simply setting it aside or keeping it out of reach or out of sight (e.g. shipping it to a friend) wouldn't work because the purge is ultimately about denial - setting it aside in some way doesn't offer the sense of eliminating what you're guilty about because you know you can get it back any time. Getting completely rid of the wardrobe, at least for me, was always about not just the lack of temptation to dress but also shedding the guilt that was then associated with those clothes.

Now, over time, I just came to accept that dressing was something I was made to do, in a sense. I'm a guy who loves football, playing soccer, and drinking beer with the guys, but I'm also the girl who loves picking out a nice outfit, putting on makeup, painting her nails, and cuddling up under a blanket in a chemise to watch a movie :)

There's absolutely nothing wrong with doing both. The guilt you're associating with it, the denial -- that's all because we're taught from an early age that girls are girls and guys are guys and the two should not overlap. But it's just not true. Girls wear khakis (granted, khakis that fit their bodies) and tshirts and gym shorts and tennis shoes. Guys wear kilts and robes and wraps and boots with heels (think: cowboy). There's a LOT of overlap. And that's not even the point. The point is that part of you wants to look like a girl. Objectively, there's nothing wrong with that. But subjectively, in your eyes, maybe you think you're betraying your parents, your religion, or yourself. But you're not. You are who you are!!

[Frédérique]

I purged about a month ago and am now heading into the regret phase. How silly of me... it's the second time I've done this, since I haven't entirely embraced this side of myself. Well, at least it's an opportunity to cultivate a new and better look, right??

Time to go shopping, my dear! Think nothing of it, and just keep moving forward. Don’t look back, because your drab self may be gaining on you…:eek:

I have only two garments remaining from my “classic” period of crossdressing, plus a lot of photos, memories, and a journal full of fascinating adventures. I also have some leftover things from my “intermediate” period of dressing, back when I lived alone in Hays, America and enjoyed the company of tumbleweeds. This time around, I’m hell-bent on rejecting the urge to purge and keeping everything, even if the Thought Police show up at my door with a warrant…:hmph:

[sherri52]

Katie: you get to go shopping.

[AKAMichelle]

been there and done that.

That's why this time, everything was packed and moved to storage. Now I have plenty of clothes to begin wearing again when I am ready.

[katiemay34]

Thanks everybody for being able to relate. Well, whatever the case, it's something to continue to work on and think about. Now the slow process of rebuilding a wardrobe begins!

[Bootsiegalore]

I learned not to purge! Only did it about 3 times and regretted it.

[MissAmy]

I'm just glad I never purged. I wanted to a lot at first, but I haven't thrown out a single thing. Good thing too since I own quite a bit.

[minalost]

I've only purged once and I'm STILL recovering. The makeup alone will end up costing me $100s! Yes, it's fun to go shopping, but it's NOT fun to have to buy stuff you already had!

NEVER PURGE!
:hugs:

[kimdl93]

Again, I think this point to the need for a purge repositiory - some place where girls can stash their things until the purge is replaced by the urge.

[MissAmy]

Again, I think this point to the need for a purge repositiory - some place where girls can stash their things until the purge is replaced by the urge.

get a trunk with a lock. That's my repository

[Eva]

Sweet hart I feel for you purging is hard. It's emotionally draining long story short. My last purge I almost killed my self. but I realized... Hay F*!& PEOPLE ! I'm awesome and like my self. Now I am not all the way out of the closet. Mostly due to the fact I don't want my family knowing about me. (but lets NOt talk about that) Just remember you are a beautiful woman inside. And well it gets way hard and nuts at times.BUT... You can do something some woman can't. Wear a pair of heels and just feel better.

And some of you need to remember cross dressing is not a desease. Even if there was a cure... Would you chang your self? You're not sick or rong you are you so... Here an idea stop crying !

Here Here! It's just who we are. So just enoy yourself being yourself.

[Karen564]

Yup, purging sucks..!!

I'll be purging very soon myself.....











But only because I'm down to a sz 10 now...and everything I own is now too big....:sad:
Losing lots of weight has proved to be Very expensive indeed....but suppose it's worth it..:)

[Paige Winslow]

I threw away a duffle bag full of clothes years ago. I told my therapist at the time that I felt a loss about it. She said I was throwing away a part of myself, and it would be natural to feel sad about it.
The only reason I toss things now is that they just don't work for me. Back to Goodwill!

[Celeste]

My last and final purge really cured me of it.I'd decided to drop my clothes in one of those salvation army containers,it was a huge hefty bag filled with things.I'll never forget as soon as the bag left my hands,I wanted it back right away,I thought, how insane to deprive myself and cost myself a fortune in the process.

[TxKimberly]

I've gone through that over and over and I have not intention of ever doing it again. I've thrown away far too many good things and it's not worth it.

[simplykaelyn]

I've done it twice now. many pairs of heels I'll never have again. Hard to find large sizes and the selection these days is slim. I'm back up to 12 pair now and while clothes may come and go, the heels stay.:)

[msniki48]

There is no known cure for crossdressing...and unfortunately there is also no known cure for purging...:doh:

and don't give me the fashion update excuse...any body worth her salt knows that your fashion is about building up your wardrobe and finding that perfect top from 2 years ago .....:hugs:


There you go Kaitlyn! thank goodness when i decided to purge this past year, i was smart enough not to sell or give away anything.....cause sure enough, i am dressing again.:battingeyelashes:

there might not be a cure for dressing or purging, but there should be a cure for dumping the wardrobe...after the 1st try or 2...:heehee:




:hugs:

[Rachel2000]

I've purged several times and will not do it again. I've thrown out things I really adored and cannot replace. It has also cost me several thousand dollars over the years which was really unnecessary if I would have been honest with my wife and myself.

[eluuzion]

“Insanity Is Doing the Same Thing Over And Over Again but Expecting Different Results”

“There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.”
--Peter Drucker

If you throw away your pack of cigarettes, will you quit smoking?
If you throw away the ice cream in the freezer, will you stop eating ice cream?
If you have your drug dealer arrested, will you stop doing drugs?
If you throw away your glasses, will you see better?
If you throw away all of the money in your wallet, will you stop gambling?
If you throw away your coat, will you stop being cold?
If you throw away your coffee maker, will you stop drinking coffee?
If you throw away your alarm clock, will you stop being late?

For me, there is a difference between being “busy” and working toward goals. I avoid confusing simple “activities” with those related to achieving goals. Repetitious and frivolous “activities” are simply a disguised form of self-justifying the procrastination in engaging in the difficult, but “constructive activities”, which will actually address and resolve the real issues preventing me from achieving my goals.

In many cases…It is not that we can’t find the answer, it is that we do not see the problem.:doh:

In my mind, “purging” is a fruitless (and expensive) process of “killing the messenger”. My reply is not offered as criticism of others or advice, purging is just not a viable action considered from my perspective. If I ever would consider “purging”, I would send my clothes to another CD, rather than throw them away…:o

but that’s just me…:hugs:

[Heidi_slave]

Sympathies. I did it too. And I regretted it...

The regret came on slowly over a few days, as the recurring urge to dress came back - as it always does.

I purged because my GF was moving in with me, and I wanted to make a new start. I thought that living with her would "cure me". Anyone want to guess what happened?

My problem now is that I have nowhere safe to stash my clothes. I keep them in the trunk of the car, but there is obvious risk to that. What to do?

Heidi

[Jenny Doolittle]

Sweet hart I feel for you purging is hard. It's emotionally draining long story short. My last purge I almost killed my self. but I realized... Hay F*!& PEOPLE ! I'm awesome and like my self. Now I am not all the way out of the closet. Mostly due to the fact I don't want my family knowing about me. (but lets NOt talk about that) Just remember you are a beautiful woman inside. And well it gets way hard and nuts at times.BUT... You can do something some woman can't. Wear a pair of heels and just feel better.

And some of you need to remember cross dressing is not a desease. Even if there was a cure... Would you chang your self? You're not sick or rong you are you so... Here an idea stop crying !

So right about CDing NOT being a desease, I know years ago I to purged and made that empty promise to myself but I think the key is actually liking yourself. That comes with age and now, there is no way I would want to take some new kind of pill to "cure" my wanting to be who I am.

With age and experience comes the ability to understand who you are and really like that person.

[Pink Person]

Transgender people will be transgender people with or without clothes. You are not a cisgender person and purging your wardrobe won't make you one. You won't be happy if you don't embrace your transgender identity.

I'm sympathetic, I know it's hard. We face a large amount of social hostility. Nevertheless, gender happiness is important and doesn't really harm anyone. If you are concerned about isolating yourself, then you will just have to find ways to express your true self in public and form relationships with people who support gender diversity. I hope you have good luck doing both things.