how to react when being hit on by a man?

[dana55]

hi girls wanted to know if wany of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

[Jennifer Lynndon]

hi girls wanted to know if wany of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

Oh goodness!

I only go out to clubs there T-Girls are featured and admired. I don't pass so going to standard, main-stream clubs are not conditions where I'd feel comfortable. I'm not interested in being hit on by guys so perhaps we go out with different intentions. :battingeyelashes: I enjoy talking with just about anyone who is a gentleman, another T-Girl, or ladies whenever they attend T-Girl nights at fun clubs.

Now I have had the great fortune to chat with countless people who have come from very different backgrounds and possess all kinds of different perspectives on things that come up in conversation. These folks were just as cool as could be. It's one of the great joys of going to a lot of effort to get dressed up and go out for the evening to clubs with very diverse clientele.
Now on a number of occasions I have encountered guys who were not interested in taking, "No" for an answer. They were completely over the top and had no idea how close they came to getting dropped by a "girl".

You're never alone at a nice club and you can always go to the bouncer for some help. They are there to keep everything in order and they just may turn out to be your best friend that evening.

Now on the other hand ... you sound like you may want to be approached by men ... sorry girl ... I can't help you there ... :heehee:

But I'm sure there are a few girls here who can!

[joann07]

hi girls wanted to know if wany of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

I rarely ever get hit on by guys because I wear a engagement type ring on my left hand. Yes! I went to JARED!!! :heehee:
Also, I dress appropriately and to impress, but avoid dressing scantily or trashy so as not to draw their attention.

Hugs!

[gabimartini]

Never happened to me and I hope it never does!

As for you, if you like it, just smile and retribute the flirt. If not, remember the last time a girl ignored you and act the same way! :)

[NathalieX66]

Definitely something I need to know while going out.

Already, in my lifetime I've been hit on by more guys, while in drab than any guy I know.
Weird.
I'm so not gay. Geez, do I really look it? Guys just don't do it for me, that's just me.

There is a club very near me that had trans night once a week but it changed management, and the name, and eliminated the trans night, and I got the impression that it's now a bit of a meat market, and I just don't feel like walking into a wolf's den. I don't mind being looked at, or admired, but sorry luv, I ain't going to go home with you.

[dana digs sweaters]

Hit on by a guy? Yeah & it doesn't float my boat. Girls for me. If I'm sitting down, I just stand up so they can see my masculine build, then ask them if they want to armwrestle for a drink in my most manly voice. That gets them clued in real quick. I always have fun with that. :D

[Andrea86]

wow that's really difficult, you know just don't listen to him and go away to another place or if you are sittin' with someone start talking to that person and ignore the guy......... if he keeps doin' it scare him!!!! hahaa

[AllieSF]

I go out to mainstream places, bars, museums, restaurants, clubs, shopping, live theater and whatever else I can check off my bucket list. I have never really been hit on by a guy yet, but then I have always been with others too. I did get to dance recently with a guy who came up to me at a dance club as I was dancing with my friends. I was a ton of fun dancing with him like my girls friends did with the guys who danced with them, and would love to do it again. Regarding how to respond to someone, I can only say just as you would to anyone else. If they are nice looking, seem to have a personality that would be interesting to explore, then continue with the conversation, ask the questions you want to ask and enjoy the moment. As for sharing a phone number or email address, that is up to you if you feel this person merits that inside information about you. Only offer it if you want to, maintain your cool, watch and listen, and do not be afraid to say that you are not interested. Good luck

[dawnmarrie1961]

Dana, I'm nobody's punching bag. If some guy is stupid enough to think that just because I look like a female that I'm some kinda weakling they've got a big surprise coming. I'm a 132 lb, 6'1'' Hell-Cat and I don't take zip from nobody! :devil:

oops you meant " hit on".
same response



Be safe. Be smart

Dawn Marrie

[Karen564]

I'm pretty laid back...
So I just go with the flow...and never felt the need to make any commitments nor do I drop to my knee's on the spot just because some guy hits on me...

Other than that, I don't know what to say, because it's not rocket science...:heehee:

[AriannaVillota]

If you don't want the attention, wear a gaudy ring on your finger.

If you do, relax and enjoy it. Instant ego boost. =)

[LisaMallon]

Smile sweetly, look in their eyes, bat yours... and say .... diamonds, lots of them and very big.

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I'm married. I always wear my wedding ring when out en femme. Aside from one tranny chaser who propositioned every en femme member of our cafe group (ages mid 20s to 70+) ages ago, I've never had a problem.

[LisaMallon]

Plus Alice you asked for the ... diamonds :) Scares them off every time:):)

[LisaMallon]

Alice (and everyone else), a sensible question for once. How many Tranny Chasers are actually possible TV's .. but lack the courage.

True admission, total public closet (until this coming Saturday I say) but I used to go sometimes to the Taxi Club in Sydney when I lived there.

Now I talked to TV's ... but in many ways it was a cry for help. But some could easily have took me as a 'Tranny Chaser' at that time. I, hope, treated everyone with respect and a bit of (hidden) envy. Just wish I had the courage then to tell the blasted truth (idiot, self kick).

How do you tell the difference between the true TC and someone trying to find their way that are putting on a front?

[boy2girl31]

hi girls wanted to know if wany of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

Judging by the running off scared coment I assume you do not want a guy hitting on you. I have been hit on more than a few times but it is usually at a Cd/TG event or at a gay bar (mainly the one I used to drag dance at) I find that if you don't want the attention from that person simply tell them thanks for thinking I look good but I am a guy and I am straight. That does not work for me because I am not straight but Bi. Yet I will tell guys that I am not interested in that I thank them for the compliment but that I just don't think they are my type If they get insistant tell the bartender or bouncer they will take care of it for you.

[Imogen_Mann]

It was a long LONG time ago, I just smiled and went with the flow. I was not dressed... at first, but it wasn't long.

[Tracii G]

I wear a wedding band and engagement ring but do get hit on every now and then, I just say I'm married and no thank you.

[Phyliss]

I don't know if this counts as "being hit on" , a number of years ago I was at the local mall and as I was leaving an older gentleman held the door for me and gave me a "hi chicky" kinda wink. I smiled back at him and kept on moving.
Personally, I think the old fella really needed to get some new eye glasses. It did make me feel nice inside.

As for a true "hit on" as in "Hi sweety, wanna come home with me?" sorta thing, well it hasn't happened, ... yet. I guess if it ever does, I'll be flattered, but the reality is, it'll probably never happen, mostly because if the guy is that desperate, then I don't think I want to be around him.

Just how many "guys" actually "hit on" some 65 yr old broad, and be worthy of a returning intrest?

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

Alice (and everyone else), a sensible question for once. How many Tranny Chasers are actually possible TV's .. but lack the courage.
We're drifting dangerously off topic here, but I'd have to say that there's no obvious way to know the answer to that one.

My impression of some tranny chasers is that they are psychopathic predators. Others strike me as just generally pathetic but harmless. Perhaps the pathetic ones are deeply closeted trannies. The problem is that sometimes the pathetic but harmless ones do stupid things that could be seen as the actions of a psychopath, so it's hard to know which are which.

[DAVIDA]

If someone were to hit on me, that would make them a "chubby hubby tranny chaser".:D
And blind!:eek:

[dawnmarrie1961]

This is one reason I don't go for guys.

Went for a walk in downtown Waynesboro yesterday. 10 am. It was up in the 60's for temperature. Nice. I love to walk.

Stopped by the local CVS and bought some chocolate covered rasins. MMMMM they were good.

On the way back home I was standing on a corner waiting for the crosswalk thingy to change, listening to some Led Zeppelin on my mp3 player, when a neanderthal on a bike comes up and says, "You've got a nice corner there. How about a date?"
I ain't dressed like no hussie. Blue jeans, black top and sneakers.

I just lifted up my sun glasses and gave him that "Don't mess with me!" stare.:Angry3:

The creep.

End of story. He rode away.


Be safe. Be smart.

Dawn Marrie

[tamarav]

I work in a beauty salon. I work with GGs all day. All of us get hit on everyday by men. (Sorry, but you would not believe how badly some of the women I work with really look. It is true that every woman faces male advances, regardless of looks, demeanor, etc)

Men are pigs. Men can be blind, deaf and dumb and still hit on women, real or otherwise. In your career as a woman, you will get hit on, be out there enough and a man will find you and hit on you, it is simply "their" nature. I love to say that since I do really know..

Since we CDs don't have years of intense training like GGs do in handling men, we tend to react oddly. Men making a pass at a woman(or a perceived woman) are simply fulfilling their role in life, acting like a testosterone infused male on the rut. (Please, no disrepect to the FtM members reading this, but testosterone is a potent drug)

No need to out yourself simply to aviod a guy making a pass at you, just tell him thanks but no thanks. I often just stand there and look them up and down, ask them to turn around and then proceed to tell them they aren't my type, or whatever suits me. I can do that, you might not feel comfortable using that tactic. And, I wear a wedding ring all the time, makes no matter to 83.77% of the guys out there. I have been told that having an affair with a married woman is "safer" since it has no inherent committment....

If they persist and won't take no for an answer, I simply hand them a card and ask them to meet me on Thursday night at the Dojo where I instruct Karate. They usually back away quietly.

[kimdl93]

Never happened to me en femme, because I don't go out in public dressed. As a guy - its has happened. In the service, I was approached by a Staff Sergeant who was notorious for getting drunk and hitting on guys. He was really a good guy when sober ...I turned him down (This was pre-Don't Ask Dont Tell...so don't believe there weren't and aren't gays in the service) Also in the service, I had a room mate, well,we had a mutual attraction. And recently a cute little clerk at a pet store commented that I had pretty eyes. Nothing happened-I'm married and monogamous, but I thanked him for the compliment :)

[sherri52]

There's safety in numbers. When you go with others you are less likely to get hit on. If you want to get hit on dress ****ty, works every time

[TommiTN]

Never happened to me en femme, because I don't go out in public dressed. As a guy - its has happened. In the service, I was approached by a Staff Sergeant who was notorious for getting drunk and hitting on guys. He was really a good guy when sober ...I turned him down (This was pre-Don't Ask Dont Tell...so don't believe there weren't and aren't gays in the service) Also in the service, I had a room mate, well,we had a mutual attraction. And recently a cute little clerk at a pet store commented that I had pretty eyes. Nothing happened-I'm married and monogamous, but I thanked him for the compliment :)

Yup, happened to me, too. He was the supply sergeant at a remote AFB and I was a young kid fresh out of tech school. He was friendly enough, in fact a bit too friendly. One day we both had to go to the main base, a couple of hundred miles distant from our billet. We rode together and he kept rubbing my thigh and talking about going out that night to get some "sex life". I didn't know what to do, never having been hit on by a man before that. It gave me the creeps, or more to the point, he gave me the creeps. The fact that he was physically very unattractive just added to my dysphoria. When we got to our destination he tried to get us a room together in the NCO quarters. I would have none of it and made it a point to "disappear" for the evening. After that our relationship was pretty frosty (believe me, a supply sarge is one of the last people you want to piss off). All the other airmen at our billet knew about him, but no one warned me. I guess it was one of the rites of passage for a newbie at the base. I didn't mention my little adventure to anyone, but I think they knew nothing happened due to the way he treated me from then on.

[kimdl93]

Yup, happened to me, too. He was the supply sergeant at a remote AFB and I was a young kid fresh out of tech school. He was friendly enough, in fact a bit too friendly. One day we both had to go to the main base, a couple of hundred miles distant from our billet. We rode together and he kept rubbing my thigh and talking about going out that night to get some "sex life". I didn't know what to do, never having been hit on by a man before that. It gave me the creeps, or more to the point, he gave me the creeps. The fact that he was physically very unattractive just added to my dysphoria. When we got to our destination he tried to get us a room together in the NCO quarters. I would have none of it and made it a point to "disappear" for the evening. After that our relationship was pretty frosty (believe me, a supply sarge is one of the last people you want to piss off). All the other airmen at our billet knew about him, but no one warned me. I guess it was one of the rites of passage for a newbie at the base. I didn't mention my little adventure to anyone, but I think they knew nothing happened due to the way he treated me from then on.

this sounds like it could be another thread. At least I was forewarned, and knew it was the booze talking. Interesting thing to me is that we all knew the SSG was gay or bi, and it didn't affect morale or discipline...ya just had to know how to handle the situation.

[jenifer m.]

i was asked to dance at a drag club once but i was nervous,and told the guy"you know im a man right?",and he said oh i figured you were but i still would like to dance with you.i said ok as long as there is no touching.he agreed,we danced for one song then he said thanks for the dance,and went back to his table.it was weird but i tried to keep in mind the whole time that i looked like a girl to him so i just went with it.(thats back when i passed really good)he was a gentleman and respected the fact that i said no touching,and he knew i was a guy,so there were no supprises,i wouldent want to get beat up over my dressing,and trying to fool a potentually streight guy.maybe if you just feel out the situation you can find out what the guys intentions are.in my case it was nothing more than a dance.

[Lorileah]

Simple answer is "I am very flattered. You are so nice to ask but right now I am not looking for a date or relationship. But it is really sweet of you to ask." followed by ignoring them. Or if they are really nice and willing to buy drinks and dinner you can discuss the weather.

Best way I handled it was "How nice you asked and as soon as the doctor clears me I will consider your offer. They have no idea what it is but it is so contagious even touching my hand like you are right now can pass it on." I would not recommend this unless the guy is just persistent.

One guy asked "What should I call you." and I answered, "Let's use your wife's name so you don't accidentally scream my real name later in bed."

Of course you can use the "What state are you from Senator?"

You can get really loud and say "You want to do what???? That is so gross. I cannot believe you even asked that. Is there a manager here??"

Rings? Have you been out in a place where men are looking for something something and ever see a ring stop him? The old adage "a ring don't plug no holes." fits everywhere. Maybe if you threw it at him it would work.

[mklinden2010]

Can't imagine why you'd ask unless you wanted to be entertained by the answers or were looking for more effective ways to get picked up.

This question comes up a lot but it's not a crossdressing issue. I've been hit on more as "a guy" than as a woman. As a guy, I'm just a target, I suppose, and a "normal" target who happened to be standing still long enough to be approached. As a woman, I'm a tall woman, and that may put off a lot of people asking.

To your question... I usually respond in context. If it's meant as fun, it's taken as fun. If it's meant as a predatory effort, it's summarily rebuffed for what it is.

Whatever the context, my predisposition is, "Not interested."

How YOU react is up to you.

I guess we both know why you're asking....

Good luck with that.

[tamarav]

In the old days I simply asked if they had a big or small-block in their Corvette...

[Veronica Nowakowski]

I've been hit on by men many times, including while in drab. But while en femme, I spoke with my normal voice and introduced myself by my drab name and, well, they stopped hitting on me but were cool about it, in general.

[Cassiecd]

Lorileah

I just love those retorts!

I find this a fascinating discussion but it really can be broken up into several different situations which need clarification.

Is the guy doing the "hitting"
1) aware that your are a CD and is a "trannie chaser"?
2) not aware (congratulations..you are "passing"!)

These are very different situations and could call for different responses depending on YOUR wishes about the advance.

I have not been out in public but some day I hope to. In my wildest dreams I would love to be "passable" in a public place and have a gentleman approach me who thought I was a gg. What a wonderful validation of my presentation and ego boost that would be! I would never let a situation like that go too far. Of course the danger there is if the man figures out he was "fooled" and may be very upset about it.

[MsJanessa]

Depends on the guy

[Sherry Ann Evans]

hi girls wanted to know if any of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

I've only had that happen at gay bars. It happened a few times, and I just went with it and basked in the flattery! Just because you accept a compliment and flirt back, maybe let him buy you a drink, etc. doesn't mean you are going to .... you know.

[msginaadoll]

It has happened a few times when I was at gay/lesbian bars on there cd nights. It depends on the man, the nice ones I will flirt with and talk to. The creepy ones I brush off/ignore. It tends to happen when I am alone, or as mentioned when I am dressing less conservatively. I guess a short skirt and tight top keeps them from focusing on my face. But oh well as Tammy Wynette sang "After all he's just a man." Can I help it if they sucumb to my charms?

[willowgurl]

If I think he's cute, I respond as the girl I am.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I rarely ever get hit on by guys because I wear a engagement type ring on my left hand. Yes! I went to JARED!!! :heehee:
Also, I dress appropriately and to impress, but avoid dressing scantily or trashy so as not to draw their attention.

Hugs!

I wear one to and I have been hit on and one guy almost had me! Guys do not care and even those who know that were are not what we appear to be seam to be more persistant.


I wear a wedding band and engagement ring but do get hit on every now and then, I just say I'm married and no thank you.

I was asked what does my husband do by one guy! I guess they say my Husband did not go to Jared:)



I work in a beauty salon. I work with GGs all day. All of us get hit on everyday by men. (Sorry, but you would not believe how badly some of the women I work with really look. It is true that every woman faces male advances, regardless of looks, demeanor, etc)

Men are pigs. Men can be blind, deaf and dumb and still hit on women, real or otherwise. In your career as a woman, you will get hit on, be out there enough and a man will find you and hit on you, it is simply "their" nature. I love to say that since I do really know..

Since we CDs don't have years of intense training like GGs do in handling men, we tend to react oddly. Men making a pass at a woman(or a perceived woman) are simply fulfilling their role in life, acting like a testosterone infused male on the rut. (Please, no disrepect to the FtM members reading this, but testosterone is a potent drug)

No need to out yourself simply to aviod a guy making a pass at you, just tell him thanks but no thanks. I often just stand there and look them up and down, ask them to turn around and then proceed to tell them they aren't my type, or whatever suits me. I can do that, you might not feel comfortable using that tactic. And, I wear a wedding ring all the time, makes no matter to 83.77% of the guys out there. I have been told that having an affair with a married woman is "safer" since it has no inherent committment....

If they persist and won't take no for an answer, I simply hand them a card and ask them to meet me on Thursday night at the Dojo where I instruct Karate. They usually back away quietly.

I love this! and you are 100% right.

For me I grew up in a single parent home with my mom and I guess because she wanted a daughter real bad I was taught on what women want as well I was privy to most of the how men are comments between her and her friends.

I myself when I am out as Victoria I understand that I must act as a woman does and when I guy looks at me I do some of the same looks to let the guy know I am not interested and for the guys who see me while driving and they give that stare and look of wanting I give it back with the your a dog look following and they get the hint!


It is all part of presenting as a woman and being in public we all will get hit on at least once and I say go with the flow and tell them no. I am almost 7ft and I get hit on! So far I have only fell for one guy who was hitting on me every time I would shop at the store and I have said this before, he was smooth and he liked the t-girls so I will say he put out the net and he almost pulled me in!

[NicoleScott]

Happened twice. The first time long ago, I was walking to my car and a guy was heading my way. I made it to my car just before he did. He was at the passenger side window, and said he just wanted to talk. I was scared to death (but not for my safety), shook my head and sped away. Reflecting on it later, it was scary but exciting.
The second time was in a tg-friendly club. I was having a nice conversation with a guy, and he knew I was a cd. As is my preferred style, I was wearing a pretty dress, high heels, blonde wig, long eyelashes, and heavy makeup with dark red lipstick. He said he wanted to kiss me, I suspect because he may have had a lipstick fetish (as I do). I politely explained that I was very flattered, but had no interest in guys, wasn't looking to hook up, and just like to dress up. Disappointed, but he accepted that explanation.

[charlie]

Hello Dana!
So many of us get carried away being dressed and female that we want to be carried away by a man. It just wasn't what it seemed to be in our dreams. The doors opening, being kissed on the hand, dancing and having drinks bought is all fun, but when the sexual stuff starts, I was really at a loss and put off. It wasn't fair to either of us. When out, young girls seem to find us exciting as do men who want to experiment with being with a man, but wants the dresses and lace on him so so he doesn't feel gay. At bars I wear a nice wedding ring, accept conversation, small hugs and compliments, but never leave with anyone but friends.

[Sherry Ann Evans]

If I think he's cute, I respond as the girl I am.

Exactly! Right now I'm in a relationship and not interested in cheating on her, but when I've been single in the past (or if I'm single again the future), that's exactly my response. Being flirted with is FUN, so even the homophobic CDs should just go with it and BE GIRLS!!! :angel:

[Carroll]

Happened to me. We were playing a Halloween gig. During a break this drunk comes up to me and wants to dance. I told he I did want to dance and he persisted. I told him again I didnt dance and that I was a guy. He still made advances on me. After a few more minutes, one of my band mates gets on the mike and says "Dude, he's not a girl, he's got a &$&#ing d!@k. This guy was kicked out when the bartender heard him say he did care if I had a ;;;; or that I was only 14, he was still going to "have me".

[Sherry Ann Evans]

Happened to me. We were playing a Halloween gig. During a break this drunk comes up to me and wants to dance. I told he I did want to dance and he persisted. I told him again I didnt dance and that I was a guy. He still made advances on me. After a few more minutes, one of my band mates gets on the mike and says "Dude, he's not a girl, he's got a &$&#ing d!@k. This guy was kicked out when the bartender heard him say he did care if I had a ;;;; or that I was only 14, he was still going to "have me".

The original poster asked about being "hit on" .... you're talking about being harassed and borderline threatened by a drunken jerk. Completely different.

[FireFoxAngel]

flattered when hit on nicely. Grossed out when too dirty.

[wendy68]

Well , it did happen once about seven years ago late at night at a quiet intersection. Being a summer night I had my window down and a pick-up truck pulled along side of me. This guy in the truck said " Hey baby are you lonely tonight?" I just smiled and told him " No not really , the pizza Im having at home is plenty thanks". Well , his eyes bugged out a bit and he appeared to be gasping for oxygen, then pleeded out of the interestion. Poor guy -hope he made it home alright

[Jocelyn Quivers]

It's happened a few times while in male mode. I was actually quite flattered and my reaction each time was "yes I know I look good thanks." A compliment is a compliment no matter who it comes from in my opinion.

[ReineD]

I work in a beauty salon. I work with GGs all day. All of us get hit on everyday by men.

OMG we must be living in two different worlds. I very seldom feel as if I am being hit on. Men have struck up conversations with me and vice versa, but I've always figured they were just being social. It usually happens in benign places like waiting in line, and just recently I had a nice conversation with someone while riding a metro. He told me he and his wife had just returned from Paris. :) On few occasions I've tired of the conversation sooner than they have, so I tell them it was nice talking to them but now I need to move on. I've never had any issues.


hi girls wanted to know if wany of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

If you want to experience being at the receiving end of a man's attention, your best bet is to go to pickup place like a club or a bar. If you don't want to get hit on, then don't go there. Otherwise, if people strike up conversations with you in public, just carry on with the conversation and move on when you need to. Chances are they're not going to ask you to have sex with them. Lol.

[JaytoJillian]

I've been approached by guys quite a few times while out. I let them know that while I appreciate the compliments, I'm not interested. I don't do this in a mean or bitchy way, but I try to subtly communicate that I am not to be screwed with. If need be, I can go from femme to butch in a couple of heartbeats, but I'd prefer not to have to resort to that. By the way, I've learned that a smile can diffuse lots of situations.

Cheers,


Jill

[5150 Girl]

Yea, I've been hit on a few times. Usulay they've taken no for an anser. But I had one guy who wasn't going to give up. He kept trying to put his arm arround me. First couple times i brushed his arm away politey, the third i sunk my nails into his arm, told him I was a lesbian, and kissed a GG I was in the process of hooking up with. (the same night i hooked up oficaly with my Polar Bear)

a drab story- One time many years ago, when i was still a news videographer, i was doing a folowup story at a firehouse, and one of fire fightrers took note of my long hair and nails, and must have put 2+2 together...
Well, when the chief wnt to get some papers to refer to as i interviwed him, and this is when th guy made his move. he came over, sat next to me on the bumper of the truck, and started complimenting me on hair, nails my sent (B&BW's warm vanila/sugar) ect... Then he starts bragging about his motorcycle collection, and asks me if I'd ike to see it some time. :eek: Then he starts with what a total b***h his ex wife is and how women can't be trusted. :timeout:
Fortunately about this time the cheif returned, and the guy disapeared for a few... When he retuned (to fake like he was doing some upkeep things on one of trucks), his uniform shirt was gone, and he was in a skin tight t-shirt. :loser: After concluding buisness with the chief, I packed my gear quickly and quietly, and got the hell outta there!

[cute_michelle_cd]

My best advice is..... treat them like you would want to be treated. If you are not attracted to them (who ever them is) then say no thank you. or something polite. You would not like someone to be rude to you like being ignored, or no way or anything of the sort. I have been hit on dressed and not dressed. i dont hide or anything. It is a wonderful feeling to have someone hit on you no matter it you are interested or not.

michelle

[ReineD]

I'd like to alter my previous post. :p

As a rule, GGs don't get propositioned in the manner that some people here have described, in day to day life. Maybe men are more blatant with other men or TGs because they are ruled by the same instincts as the objects of their admiration and deep-down they know that their sentiments will be understood.

I'm not saying that GGs never have to fend off unwonted advances, but it tends to happen more in certain types of situations, like clubs and bars, and it doesn't tend to be as crude. Maybe men are generally more courteous with GGs, unless the GG is in business for herself. :strugglin In the normal course of the day while out and about, GGs do get flirted with and of course every once in awhile there will be a creep who feels entitled, but these creeps are few and far between. When this happens, it is indeed scary, because we don't have the same physical strength as guys.

And I'm not saying it is the case with everyone who has been approached, but there is also such a thing as sending out signals, even if someone doesn't want to admit to themselves that this is what they are doing, so of course my comments do not apply in this situation.

If your attitude when being approached in a flirty manner (assuming you are not out in clubs and bars where there seems to be a license to pick up people) is that the person is just being nice, or social, then it is easy to deflect the attention whether it is an imagined come-on or not, without being rude or without feeling you need to run away. Just carry on with the conversation until it is time for you to move on. But, if you are going out dressed, then I'll admit there are a slew of guys out there who do want T-girls and they do see you as someone with a bonus between your legs. If you're not interested, these men will need to be handled more firmly than most GGs would have to handle most guys. So the advice here is spot on.

[KristiMartin]

I've been approached by guys quite a few times while out. I let them know that while I appreciate the compliments, I'm not interested. I don't do this in a mean or bitchy way, but I try to subtly communicate that I am not to be screwed with. If need be, I can go from femme to butch in a couple of heartbeats, but I'd prefer not to have to resort to that. By the way, I've learned that a smile can diffuse lots of situations.

Jill,

Sounds like you and I have the exact same method on this. There's no reason to be anything but flattered (if someone flirts in a non-creepy / disgusting way), and I let them know I *am* quite flattered, but that I'm straight and quite happily married in a polite, friendly tone.

The couple of times that I've been hit on this approach worked really well for me. :)

Kristi

[krisinpink]

I've been hit on a few times when in T* or Gay clubs. Sometimes when dressed, and other times not.

I deal with it in this way: I'm flattered by the attention, and appreciate that just maybe, I still hold some element of attractiveness. However, I'm spoken for, and will never forget or deny that. I'm quick to share this fact. Generally, I've not had a problem with a possible 'suiter' taking the message. Sometimes I've had to be a little more blunt, maybe even repeat myself, but in general, it's never been a problem. Maybe I've just been lucky. Bottom line ladies, be assertive, know where the exits and bouncers are, and always have an escape plan and change of clothes at the ready. Additionally, never forget that regardless of how you may be dressed, you are still entitled to respect and totally in the right to insist upon that.

*hugs*

Krissy

[Loni]

not happened...yet.
but if it does i would just say thank you, but sorry no.
now if he buys me a drink, i might drink it first then blow him off.
rude, but a free drink :drink:.


.

[Sally24]

I often just stand there and look them up and down, ask them to turn around and then proceed to tell them they aren't my type, or whatever suits me. I can do that, you might not feel comfortable using that tactic.
Wow Tamarav! You fully embrace the woman inside!! Good for you!

[prene]

A group of us go out. I have been asked to dance and have had someone buy me a drink. I have always told strangers . . . "No Thanks but I am here with someone."


hi girls wanted to know if wany of you have been hit on by a man? if yes what happened and how did you react to it? where were you? i'd like to know so when i go out dressed if it happens i dont run off scared hehe.

[Deborah Jane]

Well as I never go out without Sheila my wife, I guess I'd say [in my best Barry White voice]......

"I'd love a drink buddy, and my wife will have a Vodka and OJ" :)

[Kate Simmons]

Gracefully usually but it really depends a lot on the particular guy.:)

[BRANDYJ]

It's happened to me in clubs where we are accepted. In some cases the men were gentlemen when I explained that I am not into men. They understood and left me alone. Yes, there were a few creeps. One even grossed me out the first time my now ex-wife agreed to go out with me. He started telling us how he liked to dres sin lingerie and masturbate in front of his computer. I cut him off and told him his conversation was rude and inappropriate. I asked him to leave. He did. One guy, a gentleman that tried to hit on me until I told him I am not into men, left after a short conversation. Before he left the club that night, he sent over a rose he purchased from a woman selling them in the club. It was kind of shocking to me to have a man buy a rose for me, but kind of a compliment at the same time.

[kellycan27]

It can be fun for a while.... depending, but like a lot of other things, the novelty wears off and it can become downright annoying. I don't know, maybe it has to do with living in Las Vegas, but I get hit on a lot and not just in clubs, bars or casinos. I am talking about at places like the grocery store,the bank, library or the gas station. I don't mean the casual conversations in the queue about the price of gas or food, but the "hello beautiful, "hey sexy", you sure a hottie" Lets have coffee. Can I have your number? Just the other day at the post office , this guy tells me what beautiful bone structure I have and that he would like to sketch me... naked!
Airports and airplanes are even worse. You get seated next to some guy and he automatically thinks that you were seated there for him. And... married guys are the worst. lol One minute he's telling you about his wife and showing you pictures of his kids, the next minute he's asking you to dinner or out for drinks when you get to your destination. " I just want to be friends" HA! All age groups too, from the young to guys old enough to be my dad. I try and be polite in declining their advances, but I can be a real b***h if they won't take no for an answer, and sometimes that's exactly what it takes.

[NathalieX66]

I always find it an interesting topic.

I'm not that fond of walking into gay bars alone, and prefer to be amongst company when I do. Guys think I'm there for them, that's the confusion. I'm straight. I love the compliments I get and have been offered drinks countless times. Bring it on, I love it! Guys can be very good company. I have no problem with conversation & compliments, but, hon, I ain't gonna go home with you. Normally, I prefer the all-inclusive GLBT spot.

[t-girlxsophie]

Unless they are Sleazy or Intimidating,I just let them know I appreciate the compliment,and flash my girls engagement ring at them letting them know am attached.no need to be nasty or anything for I do take it as a great Compliment.
Oh!and I would probably recommend a good Optician :heehee::heehee:

[kellycan27]

Unless they are Sleazy or Intimidating,I just let them know I appreciate the compliment,and flash my girls engagement ring at them letting them know am attached.no need to be nasty or anything for I do take it as a great Compliment.
Oh!and I would probably recommend a good Optician :heehee::heehee:

I have a pretty good sized rock on my left hand, and it hasn't seemed to be much of a deterrent. And i do agree that one should be nice..until it's time for one to not be nice.

[Sarah Doepner]

You are all amazing! It hasn't happened to me, it hasn't even gotten close! If it did I'd probably start laughing so hard I'd pee myself and that would end the evening for both of us really quick.

Honestly, if some poor guy hit on me he'd have to be very disturbed or very desperate, neither of which would make me very happy or very comfortable. I'd ask him to hold my shoes and then I'd run like hell!

[Shelby]

I wouldn't say I was directly hit on, but I did have this guy constantly staring at me. I've told this story before, but some years ago I was in a Murder Mystery Show at a resturant and I was playing a woman. All the characters have to work the room mingling with the guests sharing who they are and setting up motive. Well at this one table were 3 couples and this one guy just stared at me. At first I thought nothing of it and played my part, perhaps a little flirty. So when I walked by later and caught him staring again, I was flattered. As the night went on and I would look over in that area I would catch him looking and he would either quickly look away or hold his gaze. At one point I even commented on it and his wife had also caught on without my help, so was good natured and seemed to find amusement in this. Finally, much later in the evening he was still staring and I was annoyed. So in typical female fashion, I would either walk right by without looking at him or simply avoided the table. I always hate it when a woman won't even blink in my direction and here I'm doing it to this guy.

Now I don't know if he was turned on by me, if so then he has low standards. Or perhaps he was confused by his sexuality or he has a secret that he isn't sharing with his wife and was looking for tips from me. Some people were surprised that I turned out to be a guy, but come on - I think I was fairly obvious. So he never said a word to me or made any advances, but his stare was uncomfortable.

Shelby

And Jill - If I saw you in a bar, I'd be hitting on ya too!

[Fab Karen]

If he's cute, smile & make conversation. If you're not interested, just politely say so if he's obviously coming on to you. Others have already mentioned how to deal with the pathetic ones that don't understand no means no.

[AKAMichelle]

I think the answer greatly depends upon your sexual orientation. Since I am hetero, I would let him know immediately not to waste him time and get lost.

[Jacqueline Vasquez]

If a guy hit on me, how would I react? well, it would depend on "bigger is better", thats all I have to say about that! heehee :heehee:

[Lexine]

To be honest, I wouldn't know how I'd react. My current wardrobe doesn't really lend itself to being sexy or anything, just "cute." The problem with this for me is that if I find the guy very interesting I might want to be friends with him IN my boy mode and not my girl mode. So, I guess my default attitude would be just to try to shoo away any boys that would hit on me primarily because I wouldn't know how to take it back to friends for my boy mode (since I'm more interested in women than men anyway).

[mrpink50]

no but relish the though:daydreaming:

[BRANDYJ]

One of the problems we CD's have that differs from GG's being hit on ois the fact that most men that hit on a Cd don't realize that many, if not most of us are not bisexual or gay. They simply assume that since we dress as women, we are all looking for sex with a man. They are not educated about gender gifted males and from what little they read and see on the Internet, they think we are all fair and easy game. So they come off rude and crude from the start. They would never approach a GG the same way.

[Paulette]

While I dress very age appropriate and at 6.... that rules out a lot of tight spandex and extra short skirts, I do try to blend as a women when I go out. I have had my bottom patted and told that I looked nice and would I like to dance. I declined and we both moved on I however was able to float back to the group I was with having just had my first bottom pat by a man. I had another guy while sitting on a bar stool in a gay club come up behind me and place his hand on my bare stocking covered leg. Then this smooth operator introduced himself by saying that he was a professional leg inspector and that mine were need of a close inspection with his tongue. Once again flattered that of the five or six gurls in the club he had picked me to gross out. I took his hand in mine and told him while that was certainly an interesting pick up line I was not interested in his services and in the future he should ask to touch a ladies leg before just doing it.

Going out to the club I seem to end up alone getting from the car to the club. Once I get there, there are others just like me to assist. The walk from a parking lot or down the street to the club is a very scary time. You usually do not see single women walking the streets at night. It is funny in drab I will walk into hell with a smile on my face but put on a dress or skirt and I become very aware of my surroundings and who else is on the street.

[kellycan27]

While I dress very age appropriate and at 6.... that rules out a lot of tight spandex and extra short skirts, I do try to blend as a women when I go out. I have had my bottom patted and told that I looked nice and would I like to dance. I declined and we both moved on I however was able to float back to the group I was with having just had my first bottom pat by a man. I had another guy while sitting on a bar stool in a gay club come up behind me and place his hand on my bare stocking covered leg. Then this smooth operator introduced himself by saying that he was a professional leg inspector and that mine were need of a close inspection with his tongue. Once again flattered that of the five or six gurls in the club he had picked me to gross out. I took his hand in mine and told him while that was certainly an interesting pick up line I was not interested in his services and in the future he should ask to touch a ladies leg before just doing it.

Going out to the club I seem to end up alone getting from the car to the club. Once I get there, there are others just like me to assist. The walk from a parking lot or down the street to the club is a very scary time. You usually do not see single women walking the streets at night. It is funny in drab I will walk into hell with a smile on my face but put on a dress or skirt and I become very aware of my surroundings and who else is on the street.

Wouldn't being patted on the rear and having a guy put his hand on your leg be more of an assault than say.. being hit on? I don't put up that type of inappropriate behavior.

[jasmine57]

I've been hit on by a couple of men and loved every minute of it. I guess the verification that I was kind of attractive to men was a boost to my ego. But please understand they were drunk and I'm sure they needed glasses and it was dark. But anyways it was a head rush for me.

[eluuzion]

And I'm not saying it is the case with everyone who has been approached, but there is also such a thing as sending out signals, even if someone doesn't want to admit to themselves that this is what they are doing, so of course my comments do not apply in this situation.


I agree with the "sending out signals", ReineD.

I have studied kinesics (non-verbal "language") a long time. Most communication and certainly interpretation is largely based on these cues, whether the sender/receiver is doing it consciously or unconsciously.

I have never been "hit on" by a guy(s) when dressed, but I rarely venture outside.(other than responses to pics posted on the net). I have been "hit on" by guys in public when not dressed when I lived in Florida.

However, three guys did attempt to "hit on"...("beat on me") one time while I was working in KC,(non-dressed mode) and tried to take a short-cut back to my hotel, ending up in bad neighborhood. I stopped at a "7-11" for directions, got jumped. I am martial arts, so I put one guy in hospital, cops arrived before anything else. :D

[MissKara]

I rarely ever get hit on by guys because I wear a engagement type ring on my left hand. Yes! I went to JARED!!! :heehee:
Also, I dress appropriately and to impress, but avoid dressing scantily or trashy so as not to draw their attention.

Hugs!

That is the exact same way I dress for the exact same reason :hugs:

Lots of Love,
Miss Kara

[kellycan27]

I agree with the "sending out signals", ReineD.

I have studied kinesics (non-verbal "language") a long time. Most communication and certainly interpretation is largely based on these cues, whether the sender/receiver is doing it consciously or unconsciously.

I have never been "hit on" by a guy(s) when dressed, but I rarely venture outside.(other than responses to pics posted on the net). I have been "hit on" by guys in public when not dressed when I lived in Florida.

However, three guys did attempt to "hit on"...("beat on me") one time while I was working in KC,(non-dressed mode) and tried to take a short-cut back to my hotel, ending up in bad neighborhood. I stopped at a "7-11" for directions, got jumped. I am martial arts, so I put one guy in hospital, cops arrived before anything else. :D

Yeah, signals like.. breathing or having a pulse :heehee: