Taking steps coming out to parents

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

As some of you know that my mother dont know about my female side well as of late I have started to sort of come out to her in little stages like looking around woman clothes departments and today buying a woman top and sweat shirt while she was there, Was going myself but when I said was going to tesco she said I come along for a look out so tought what could I do. And was saying just before that I got some false nails and needed glue and clear varnise for them and she ok with it and been colouring my hair and saying was going let it grow long to behind my back and again ok. Also was saying I like get some leggings and she just said are there not what girls wear and I just reply yes I know there are. So I think with all them hints and taking more time in bathroom and having smooth body the next step is just tell her I'm a crossdresser and like wearing female clothes and have female feelings and I can't hide my feelings from her any longer. As at end of day it is my my life and it is big part of me.

[Kathi Lake]

Yes I think you are right and you should definitely tell your mother although I think she already knows because you have hinted a lot and told her about the nail polish and the leggings and your longer hair so what's wrong with telling her this little bit more she is still your mother and she will love you no matter what but you should also be careful . . .

deep breath

because once the cat is out of the bag it is really hard to get back in so you really need to think hard about this decision as it can have long-term effects on your life and the life of those around you because do you know that your mother will not tell any of your family or friends or maybe see you in a different light and do you really want to risk that just for the benefit of having one more person who knows because if you have been OK with your dressing this far then what would you gain by doing this?

Good luck!

Kathi

[Mackenzie]

It sounds like you have a very loving and understanding mom. Be sensitive to her and find a right way to tell her. Create an evening where maybe you take her out to a nice restaurant, quiet and romantic. Express to her your love for her and appreciation for who she is and what she means in your life. Then, ask her if you can be really transparent about something that you would like her to know, because you love her. Tell her it is sensitive and you would appreciate it if, for now, she keeps it to herself.

Who knows, this may begin a very special female-to-female bonding time with your mom in ways that you could not have realized.

[JustWendy]

Zoe, when I saw your post about the nail glue, I figured that you had either had the conversation with your mother or were planning to. By your post here, it seems like your mother may be a little confused by your purchases, but certainly not judgemental. I think your hints have laid the groundwork, but it's time to have the talk. She may not be surprised, but only you can help her understand how you feel and how this is an integral part of who you are - the child that she loves.

Wendy

[kimdl93]

Zoe, you may have already done this, but if not, I'd suggest looking over some of the threads relating to coming out to loved ones... Read over some of the typical questions and reactions and be parepared with honest thoughtful responses! It might help when you have the talk.

good luck!

[Missy811]

I told my mom she was very understanding it was very suprising My dad on the other hand wouldnt of acted so cool about it...

[mklinden2010]

Well, odds are good most any Mom, past a certain age, will pause and think, "Well, what can I do about it anyway?"

Younger Moms are probably more prone to freek out, to worry about what people think, to ponder where they went wrong, etc. Older Mom's are more likely to button up or go along - wise enough to know there's no point in alienating or abandoning their "old enough to do what they want" child.

Sounds like you're hiding in plain sight. Mom's not - by your description - likely to be too surprised or upset. Whether by accident or design, you've laid some decent groundwork to just start talking about it.

Good work makes good luck.

[kimdl93]

Well, odds are good most any Mom, past a certain age, will pause and think, "Well, what can I do about it anyway?"

Younger Moms are probably more prone to freek out, to worry about what people think, to ponder where they went wrong, etc. Older Mom's are more likely to button up or go along - wise enough to know there's no point in alienating or abandoning their "old enough to do what they want" child.

Sounds like you're hiding in plain sight. Mom's not - by your description - likely to be too surprised or upset. Whether by accident or design, you've laid some decent groundwork to just start talking about it.

Good work makes good luck.

If she's like my mom (well past 80) she'll be happy you're alive and well, and likely to outlive her.

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Was all set to tell her and talk about it if she was ready to talk about it when dog wet on her bed so kind of put her in bad mood so not the best time to come out to her. So now have wait of good time again.

[sherri52]

You have already told her indirectly, you might as well come right out with it. I'm sure she won't be surprised.

[jenifer m.]

your right zoe you gotta at least catch her in a good mood.maybe one afternoon you two can go to lunch and you offer to buy befor you go then depending on how you feel about her mood just tell her during a conversation.just an idea.

[kimdl93]

next chance, take the dog for a good long walk to empty its bladder, then sit down for tea!


Was all set to tell her and talk about it if she was ready to talk about it when dog wet on her bed so kind of put her in bad mood so not the best time to come out to her. So now have wait of good time again.

[Christina Horton]

Was all set to tell her and talk about it if she was ready to talk about it when dog wet on her bed so kind of put her in bad mood so not the best time to come out to her. So now have wait of good time again.

Ok first there will never be the best time. Ya bad timing in the bed wetting but there will come a time when you just have to tell her.

I told my mom and dad in 1992 or so and I KNEW my mom would be ok with it and KNEW my dad would not. Well mom hated it and dad was ok with it. They still loved me but mom said she never want to see or talk about it. But last year she came around and since we can talk about it she make little jokes , and we have going shopping and to family's place and to lunch one day. She still is not thrilled about it but she is much better as long as I don't push her.

What's my point....You never know how someone will react to this. You Mom sounds like she already knows. My mom and family had no clue at all but I think your mom does.

So I say just tell her and you will be fine. Plus you might just have the Mother dauter friendship with her that I have always wanted with my mom. So giver and tell her. No prob!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:hugs::D