'Coming out' for the first time to a friend

[Princess_lucy]

Hia!

Looking for a little bit of advice. I have a friend and she is the same age as me and doesnt know about Lucy.

About a six months ago she set me up on a date with one of her friends, i cancelled at the last minute and told her i was confused coz i quite liked being single and didnt really want anything, to which her misunderstood response was ''hun if your confused and think you might be gay am here for you thats what friends are for'', which made me think, well am not gay but how would she react if i told her about Lucy.

I chickened out :(

Anyway, the other day there she asked how my love life was going and i dropped a subtle hint ''none existant i hav too many issues'' and she said a similar phrase as to the one above, bout her being here if i need to chat.

ANYWAY, sorry am rambling, we r meetin up for a few drinks on friday and i am in two minds. Do i go for it and tell her and FINALLY have someone that knows the REAL ME or do i not tell her and try and judge the situation?

Am totally confused, its like 90% says GO FOR IT!!! and the other 10% is like, are you sure you want anyone to know?

HELP hehe


Lucy xxxx

[Mirani]

follow your instinct :) Good luck.

The plus is - someone else knows who you really are and may give you what many of us seek - acceptance

The minus is .... well actually - if you trust her I cant see a minus!

[carolinoakland]

I think you want to have a real friend at last, don't you? And are worried that you might lose the one you have now. No answers, just be ready to accept her feelings too... Carol

[Victoria Anne]

Lucy , ultimately you have to decide for yourself and follow your heart. I came out to some friends some time back and guess what ... they are still my friends. The long and the short of it is this , if she is a real friend then she will accept you and if not she was never a friend to begin with. My advise is this go with your heart , a friend is a wonderful thing to have and can help you in more ways than you can imagine. Good luck sweetie.

[wishing2bali]

I'd say tell her. From what you say it seems like she would be a very supportive person about it. Good luck hun.

[kimdl93]

90:10 is pretty good odds, so trust your gut. While your friend invited you to talk to her, whatever your problme may be. Although she may be somewhat surprised by your particular "issues" she may quickly help you realize that its OK with her and probably won't be a problem with many/most of your friends. My guess is she'll a great support. Also, although I'll acknowledge that we face our challenges, I hope you discover that CDing isn't a reason to deny yourself relationships...its really something special you can bring to a relationship. the key to finding the right relationship is to be open and honest about CDing with any potential relationship. Of course, it may take a little courage, but its better than denying who you are or worse yet, misrepresenting who you are.

[Veronica Nowakowski]

my one bit of advice is to not be dressed when you tell her.

[Rachaelb64]

follow your instinct :) Good luck.

The plus is - someone else knows who you really are and may give you what many of us seek - acceptance

The minus is .... well actually - if you trust her I cant see a minus!

:iagree:

I'd go with that :)

[mklinden2010]

>>I have a friend and she is the same age as me and doesnt know about Lucy.


Yeah, she knows about Lucy because she knows you.

You are Lucy so I doubt this is going to phase her very much. She might be disappointed for her friend, but she's pulling for you, whoever you think you are, either way.

So, go ahead and practice telling someone and learn how it goes. You can say the words; someone can hear them; things can then go a number of ways.

Life is for living - get on with yours.

[Jenna Stunned]

This is Sooo much easier to say than to do but, go for it. It sounds like you are pretty good friends, And she is under the impression that you are gay already. That in my mind is worse off than her knowing the truth. Not that there is anything wrong with being gay, But wrong that she has you figured wrong. Do you mind that she thinks your gay?? Would it really make you feel any different if she knew the truth?? You seem to be accepting of who you are, Wouldn't it be worth the risk to have someone, who is already accepting of you being gay, KNOW who you are really??

Again, Soooo much easier to give advice in this situation. I guess the main question you have to ask is. If you think that this girl is a good enough friend to know the TRUE you. From the very little that I heard, I think that she is. But only you truely know the answer.

Good luck and keep us informed. Ü

[Angielynne]

I would just like to say this:

If you are confident in the fact that your friend won't freak out and run, or announce it to the world, then open up to her!

I just recently opened up to a friend, and now, I am going out for the first time ever with her.

Don't be scared...

[IamSara]

I believe you should tell her. It sounds like she is an understanding lady and will give you all the help and understanding you need.
Sarah

[TeriAnn]

In my situation I waited 6 years to tell my wife and then found out she was really cool with what I had told her. It is a fifty-fifty chance as others have said follow your heart. I was like why did I wait so long to tell her and I am glad I did.

[sherri52]

She sounds like a true friend. I would give her a try. She might even help with makeup.

[Susie Mae]

Beautifully said by Victoria Anne.

[Princess_lucy]

Thanks Girls :)

[Rogina B]

You look good,she is accepting[it appears] so,don't be afraid..show her Lucy and be very happy while being Lucy.Then With your beaming happiness showing,she will be happy for you.:2c:

[IamSara]

Thanks Girls :)

How did it go?

[DAVIDA]

my one bit of advice is to not be dressed when you tell her.

I have told several of our friends, and they are all still our friends!
One of them I did just what Veronica said not to do.:heehee:
I would not choose to do that again, but everything turned out OK!
All who have been told, know that if they come to our house, that they will see me dressed.
Every one of them still visit!:D

[sueann]

I know the only one that know about sueann is my wife bout i have a sister inlaw that is would love for her to meat sueann we get along so good we have been like girls for a long time we have gone shopping but she things that it was for my wife not me i would love to tell her but i do not know how she would take it

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Show her Lucy thats what you want her to know and it will take a big load off of you.

[tiffiany]

I know it takes courage to tell her but once you do its like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders and you can just be yourself. By reading what you posted it seems like she already knows or atleast will be suportive of it.

I had a simlar thing happen to me recently, good friend asked me to be her roomate and I was hesitate at first because of the crossdressing thing but told her and she totality accepted it and told me it doesnt matter to her, so now for once I am able to fully be myself and dress up whenever I want to, have a month until my lease is up and I cant wait.

[larry]

I am not in any way an expert. I read a lot of advice here BUT make sure she is REALLY the type to understand (not just because YOU WISH it to be )

[Jilmac]

Lucy, It seems as if your friend has already assured you that she will be your friend no matter what, so I say go for it, you have everything to gain and nothing to lose. Also on the plus side, once you have her as your ally you may feel more comfortable about hooking up with a mate.

[t-girlxsophie]

Only you know your friend,and her Attitude to such things,But I think she sounds like someone who would stand by her friend,no matter what.Maybe you can sound her out a little bit more before telling her about Lucy,I hope she will be there for you if and when you tell her

Good Luck and I hope all goes well for you

[t-girlxsophie]

I know the only one that know about sueann is my wife bout i have a sister inlaw that is would love for her to meat sueann we get along so good we have been like girls for a long time we have gone shopping but she things that it was for my wife not me i would love to tell her but i do not know how she would take it

One of my sisters in law,knows about Sophie,and Is very supportive of us both,even all been out at local tv/ts support group,and at club together,It was my Wife who told her about my girlie side,perhaps your Wife would have a better Idea of her reaction,If you were to tell her

[Bethany38]

Lucy,
Your friend sounds like she would be able to handle the news. So I say go for it, see what happens.

[Paige.]

Tell her. If she is open minded enough to stand by you if you were gay, then she will probably be open minded enough to stand by you as a CD. Don't be dressed when you talk to her and give her the opportunity to ask to see Lucy. Good luck.

[LeslieSD]

I would go ahead and tell if in the same situation. She has already hinted that she would support you if you are a gay. So we can be pretty sure that she will do the same if you tell the story. Opening up will only strengthen the bond. You might even get a shopping pal. Go for it!

[Kelly DeWinter]

This is soooooo easy ! Call her, invite her over, 1 glass of whine, and you will be playing dress up !

[Princess_lucy]

Wee update:

I chickened out :( although, did kind of make little hints, test the water as such and i think next time i may tell her.

[frisbee_girl]

Wee update:

I chickened out :( although, did kind of make little hints, test the water as such and i think next time i may tell her.

Don't sweat it. Do it when it feels right. Testing the waters seems like a decent thing to do.

Regardless of when/if you tell your friend, just wanted to say that I think you look amazing.