Some updates

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I just felt like sharing...:heehee:

I have my new drivers license...Kaitlyn Michele is the name..and because of the very progressive diversity laws in NJ (which is otherwise the worst state in the world) allow me to get an F on my license as well.. very nice...

My oldest daughter is 16 next week..i have found that my children have continued to thrive...my 13 year old has gotten over her initial bout of suffering...in fact, when she is at her mom's and has a teenager crying jag...my ex always tells me and says she is still struggling with me...but when i talk to her my daughter always tells me what its about , and its never about me...hmmmm...

Both kids are very accepting, and the love in our family is totally unchanged...we started this out with great closeness, and we did not lose it...one by one, they are letting their friends know and so far, so good....i even have been taking them to dr's appts and to restaraunts so its gonna be fine..this is very rewarding to me because i was told by basically everybody that "you can't do this to your daughters" ...."teenagers are the worst"...well that isnt my experience...have they suffered? of course, but we are all much better off with dad living a "real" life and as far as i can tell, we are moved on to just being a family with a unique dad

my work situation is that i lost my job, and i'm looking around..i had a high stress corporate job, and i have no appetite for another....but i've started to realize i have littel choice but to go back...i've put so much of my energy into transition i've lost my will to work, but i know that can't stay that way....so far i've met about a dozen of my ex-colleagues and they are all supportive and friendly....i am told by other transwomen that it's likely that "behind my back" its not so rosy...but to me that's a **** it..i can't do anything about it..

my physical stuff is moving ahead...i am interviewing srs surgeons, and trying to decide whether i should get breast work done...

mentally, i think my biggest issue is to start to really work on my ingrained learned maleness...i am so socially trained as a male...its interesting to me because the more i think abou tit, the more i remember how deeply uncomfortable i was about my male social life...but i'm a good learner and i learned "being male" quite well....unlearning is just not going the way i thought and i'm trying to be patient...an example is when i am talking to someone and i get really interested and excited i immediately start raising my voice and getting aggressive...i guess what i'm saying is that i am only slowly letting myself truly let go .

i am doing some limited public speaking at local colleges, i have one coming up first week of may that i'm excited about...

one thing that is lacking is relationships...i have no idea wtf i am gonna do....sexually i know what i want and that's a man...my sexuality is clearly female and its been a relief to finally accept that...but i just don't see how i could be a good "girlfriend" socially...i have no experience and no feeling of what it would be like and i've been alone so long, i'm pretty set in my ways... i'm not exactly worried about this..but i am thinking that i will be on my own and that's just the way it is..

all things considered, my quality of life is excellent.. i am thankful and gratified with the support i've received and to cut through everything , all the naysayers are just plain old wrong...a woman said to me once...

"no matter what they say to you....you have to assume that most everybody is against you..sometimes its very subtle, sometimes not.....so you have to just keep your head down and do what you KNOW is the RIGHT THING FOR YOU...and let the rest come to you..."

So that's my update....hope it helps someone

Kaitlyn Michele "F"

oops forgot the the most important thing of all!

Phillies are looking real good and it would be a dream come true for them to be in another World Series....right Sharon?!

[Jennifer Marie P.]

I know the feeling I just changed my drivers license name too and know it says Jennifer Marie P. and it says F on my gender and my journey is almost complete and it feels so good to be who I am.

[ArleneRaquel]

Kaitlyn,
Many hugs & lotsa love. :)

[Karen564]

Kate,
Thanks for sharing, it's so great to see you prove all the nay sayers wrong, and I believe there are many more wonderful things coming your way in the near future. And just like anyones life, male or female, what happens in our future is anyones guess, but the one thing you can count on is yourself..

It still amazes me how similar our family situations are on the home front..and my youngest girl is finally coming around too..

So I wish you much success on your journey..

:hugs:

[StaceyJane]

Kaitlyn, I think so many people underestimate the love our children have for us. My daughters are my biggest supporters.

[Katesback]

You go girl!!

[Sharon]

Very, very cool on the children and license, Kaitlyn Michele. And don't knock Jersey! I always found it very useful when I wanted to go to the shore. :)

And as for the Phillies, I hope you're right, Dearie -- I have my fingers crossed you are. And do you have any idea how much it costs to get Phillie games on cable or on the net out here? OMG, it's going to be a disjointed year for me 'cause those prices are ridiculous. :eek:

[Faith_G]

Thanks for the update. :hugs: I'm glad to hear your kids are doing OK through the whole thing.

[Eileen]

Wow Kaitlyn you are doing great! I can just imagine, how happy you are.

Eileen

[Veronica_Jean]

Kaitlyn,

I am very thrilled to hear things have turned around and you as well as most of your family are settling in to how you have always been.

All of my children found out when they were in their teens and I could not ask for a greater group of supporters than them. Not to knock all of you one bit you are all a terrific and supportive bunch and I love you all very much!

I am certain with your talents and capabilities, once you set your mind to it you will find something that keeps you alive and happy. That is the most important thing.

Thanks so much for the update! IT is always good to read about others that have find a way to get past the difficulties and get on with trying to live life as it was meant to be.

:hugs::love:

Veronica

[morgan51]

Congratulations! I hope all continues to go well for you. It must feel wonderful to get that F on your drivers license. Take it easy and sort out what you really want/need as far as work goes. We are cheering for you. Hugs Morgan

[GypsyKaren]

Sorry I'm late here, just want to add my congrats and I hope things keep looking up for you.

KS :g1:

[Tomara]

Hi Kaitlyn
Congratulations on your progress , it's good to hear that your kids are adjusting well and are able to share how they feel with you.
I hope that you will find work soon and I'm sure that your maleness will fade as time passes.
I wish you all of the best in your future and thank you for sharing your update with us.

:hugs:Tomara

[~Emma D~]

Hi Kaitlyn

I'm so pleased for you, that things are going well - I hope it continues so:)
your kids seem so special and a credit to you

best wishes and hugs
:hugs:
Sarah

[TerryTerri]

Kaitlyn,
So very glad to hear all the good things happening and I'm crossing my fingers and praying for your employment situation. Although I don't think calling your situation a tragedy, I am reminded that EVERY tragedy I have experienced has lead directly to wonderful gifts I could not have dreamed of. Just keep putting one heel in front of the other and I have faith and trust that wonderful, happy, joyous events are headed your way!!

I'm doing interestingly well myself. I've noticed in the last week that my normal mood and disposition has been fairly joyfull. Basically, in general I don't think I've felt this good in several (6,7,8?) years. Lots of scarry unknowns in front of me. But, the todays I've been having this last week have all been really great, even though nothing 'special' has happened.
Otherwise I think it is simply going to take me time for the internal transformation to evolve. Definitely started down the path. But, it looks like a long journay from my current vantage point. One day, one step at a time and I'll get to where I should be.

Anyway, you are in my thoughts in warm ways for good things and I'd still love the opportunity to met for coffe, shop and all those other good things.

:hugs:

[Lauren B]

Kaitlyn, I'm so glad to hear that you're doing so well. The one thing that you have down is that you can't control what anyone who isn't you says or does so you don't even worry about it. As I move along my path, that's something I know I'll need to get really good at. It's a good way to live trans or not, really.

Sharon, try mlb.tv for getting Phillies games- you can watch them on your computer. That's what I do here from Tucson. Personally, I'm smellin' another World Series :thumbsup:

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

I'm so happy that you kids are okay with you and they still love their Dad. My two children are my most ardent supporters as well. I've also gotten some very good friends at work, now that I've gone fulltime. All I know is my quality of life is so much better today than it was before. I am so happy for you Kate. Your friend Kimberly Marie Kelly. :battingeyelashes:

PS would love to see you at group 5/2/10, hope you can make it.

[Melissa A.]

I'm really happy for you, sis. You sure helped do something right with those girls, you oughtta be proud of them and I'm sure you are. I'm right with ya on the dating thing and it's a struggle in alot of different and unexpected ways. But I'm ever hopeful. Sorry I haven't been around, still computer-less for now, and doing this on a phone is for the birds! I miss all of you and look forward to being back soon.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[LisaM]

Kaitlyn,

It is nice to read about a journey from someone that is so well grounded. Plus, it is extra special to hear it from a Phillies fan.