PDA

View Full Version : I've come a long way, Baby...



Leslie Langford
03-11-2010, 11:40 PM
I just came back from an all-day shopping excursion en femme earlier today (gotta take advantage of that unseasonably mild spring weather hereabouts - LOL!) wearing my favorite between-season shopping ensemble: a dark brown suede jacket with matching silk scarf and necklace, multi-colored (brown, gold, tan, burgundy) brocade Nygard top, camel-colored Conrad C pencil skirt, light tan pantyhose, and light cognac 2 1/2" heel Luca Ferri loafers set off by a matching croco patterned purse. Very lady-like and age-appropriate, and also elegant enough for the SA's to take notice and comment on favorably, yet not enough to attract too much attention (and stares) from among the rest of the unwashed masses typically found in a suburban mall setting, with most of them, of course, being attired in the standard-issue Walmart chic that seems to be de rigueur these days.

I shopped in all of my usual haunts (the Bay, Sears, Winners, Ricki's, Le Chateau etc.), thoroughly enjoying the positive vibes that kept washing over me from the SA's who seemed to be going out of their way to serve this elegant "lady" who had just come in every time I set foot in a different store. I'm on a tight budget these days, so I had to pass up a number of great finds, but one that stands out was a Jones New York dress at the Bay that fit me like a glove, and much better than any other one in recent memory. Of course, having lost over 15 lbs. since New Year's Day after cutting out all sweets and junk food (Yeah, having your family doctor tell you after your last annual physical that your blood sugar is too high and that you're moving into the pre-diabetic zone can be a strong incentive :sad::doh:), I've also dropped down almost 2 dress sizes :thumbsup:, and women's clothes fit me much better overall, making shopping even more enjoyable these days.

But in keeping with the title, here are some of the highlights of my shopping trip that are humorous in retrospect, but oddly enough, also hardly fazed me at the time, showing me yet again just how comfortable I have become shopping en femme:

- I am surrounded by stay-at-home neighbors, and the ones directly across from me and beside me seem to practically live outdoors when the weather is nice. I've gotten a pretty good handle on their daily coming-and-going routines and always wait for an appropriate window of opportunity when heading out of my house en femme so that I can slip out unnoticed. This morning, the ones beside me were nowhere in sight, and the woman across from me had just headed out for what appeared to be her usual Thursday errands. Assuming that the coast was clear, I made my move, but just after I exited my garage and was backing down the driveway, who comes barrelling down the street right towards me but the woman from the house across from me. Murphy's Law strikes again - and evidently, she must have forgotten something. Instinctively, I headed back up the driveway, repositioned the car, and then backed down again, but this time I exited it in the direction opposite to where she was. I don't know how much she saw of "Leslie" in that brief moment, but I did notice her looking my way from out of my rear-view mirror as I drove away. It'll be interesting to see if in the next few days, she mentions the "strange" woman she saw driving off in my car the other day, and I'm already crafting a story for that eventuality.

But the funny thing is - unlike what might have been the case in the past, this time it really didn't bother me, and I just kind of laughed it off as a "wouldn't you know it?" and refused to let it ruin the rest of my day and my planned shopping trip.

- Returned one dress at Sears and exchanged another one for a size smaller :heehee:. I had bought both last week in drab; this time I was doing the return/exchange en femme. When I handed the cashier my VISA card and she tried to call up my account, she appeared puzzled when the name that came up on her screen was my wife's name, and not the one on my credit card (mine is somewhat unusual, and while it does not scream "male", it wouldn't necessarily be taken for a female one either). I instinctively blurted out "That's my wife's name", and as soon as those words left my mouth it was almost like watching a car wreck happen in slow motion. Funny thing though - I made a quick recovery when she nonchalantly answered "Oh, that's your wife's name?" and then proceeded to get my particulars to update the account while not even batting an eye. Then again, since same-sex marriages are legal in Canada, maybe she just thought that we were a committed lesbian couple. Anyway, the rest of the transaction went smoothly from that point onwards, and she politely wished me a good day at the end of it without any further questions, comments, or even the hint of smirk (or even worse, a disapproving scowl). I guess that proves yet again that when it comes to the retail industry, we CDer's have almost become mainstream and valued customers as more and more of us dare to venture out in public without guilt or shame (and of course, help the merchants stay afloat with our hard-earned $ in this challenging economy ).

- While I was in a fitting room in the Bay store trying on a number of selections (including that "killer" dress) I overheard a conversation between what appeared to be (i.e. judging from her voice/accent) an elderly, prim and proper, and veddy British lady in the adjoining cubicle and her equally elderly (and perhaps a bit hearing-challenged and befuddled) husband. Seems that the old boy kept trying to get into the change room area so that he could hear her better, while she repeatedly tried to keep him at bay by calling out to him that men were absolutely NOT allowed inside the ladies' dressing room area, and implying that dire consequences would surely follow if he were caught doing so. I guess she wasn't aware of the CDer in the cubicle next to her happily trying out an assortment of potentially new spring outfits and trying his best to stifle a hearty chuckle, especially knowing that the fitting room attendant seemed to have had no problem showing him to his cubicle while carrying his armful of selections, and then hanging them up for him as she smilingly wished him good luck with his choices :eek::D.

Two things became abundantly clear to me again at the end of the day as I completed yet another successful and thoroughly enjoyable shopping trip en femme:

1) I am getting so used to this sort of thing and it is now becoming such a routine non-event for me that it borders on the scary, and I sometimes have to shake my head to make sure that I am not dreaming. I worry that I am starting to lose my "filter" as I continue to push the envelope of my public outings and that one day I will get "busted" and find myself in deep doggy-do. Time will tell...

2) The flip side to the above is that I have yet to have a bad experience when I am out en femme, and SA's and other people that I have come into contact with have been incredibly nice to me and have gone out of their way to make me feel accepted and welcome. I have never once been made to feel like a freak which, of course, is the nightmare of every CDer who desperately wants to, but has yet to find the courage to go out in public en femme.

Then again, maybe I worry too much and need to stop feeling guilty about doing something which is fundamentally so harmless, and yet gives me such immense joy and a sense of finally feeling complete. In short, by doing what I do, I have simply taken the repeated advice of those "sisters" here who have gone down the same path before me, and I have accepted the wisdom which their age and experience has brought them - in essence, Carpe Diem ("Seize the Day)" as the Romans used to say.

We only get one shot at life, and in the end, none of us get out of it alive anyway. In my case, I am trying to make sure that every day counts, and that I will not be facing the Grim Reaper one day with a host of regrets that I didn't allow "Leslie" to flourish to the best of my abilities while I still had the chance.

If this is food for thought for others here who have been grappling with similar doubts and concerns in the past, then so much the better...:gfi:

kimdl93
03-12-2010, 09:51 AM
sounds like you're in a good place! I'm still grappling with those doubts, but your experience is encouraging!

Christina Horton
03-12-2010, 10:22 AM
Your a very bad TGirl very very bad!!!! You forgot to post pictures. Whererererer'sssss the PIC'S!!!!!! Did you take any. If you did not I'm afraid I will have to take away your CD badge and demot you to T girl in training!!!! Don't make me do that. I will give you one chance. You can either post the pics you took .OR you can go shopping again and take pic's andpost them. Other wise your out of the club......


Congrats on the day out. Like you I have never had a bad time out there em-fem. I always have a great time. Have fun and next time WE NEED PIC'S!!!!!

Leslie Langford
03-12-2010, 11:04 AM
...and I do feel guilty about not posting any pics so far (not even as an avatar).

Ironic, isn't it, that I've been able to break down so many personal barriers when it comes to going out in public en femme, yet I am reluctant to take any pictures to record these milestones?

I guess it comes down to the fear of not knowing where they will eventually end up, or else being traced back to me in my "real" life. I've heard too many horror stories of people having lost control over their pictures once they post them on the Internet, including individuals who have linked theirs to their Facebook account and the like. More often than not, they find out later that some hacker has broken into it, manipulated their pictures, and ended up posting them on some porn site in a compromising position - only to have the photos go viral and causing them untold grief and humiliation in the process.

Michelle-Leigh
03-12-2010, 11:22 AM
No fear here; I boldly go where few if any crossdressers in my area ever venture out to. I am so comfortable liberated, and at near-perfect peace when I am out dressed, I feel I can BREATH....

Kathi Lake
03-12-2010, 11:54 AM
Leslie,

Thank you so much for your wonderfully-detailed account! I love hearing stories about how nicely we're treated when out and about - especially as it looks like my next shopping trip will be, . . well, who knows? :(

I agree wholeheartedly with your number one. I sometimes wonder if anything is wrong with me as now going out feels perfectly normal. No biggie. Just another day at the mall. Of course, it's still as much fun as a barrel of greased badgers, but the adrenaline is gone. Maybe I should take up skydiving en femme. :)

Number two is also familiar to me. Sure, I have had a few chuckles and stares, but I don't really care about that, and have never had a bad experience while out doing what I like. I've been treated well, just like your friendly SA's.

On the picture issue, don't sweat it. Some may say that everything you say is BS unless accompanied by photographic and/or recorded proof, but who cares? You know what your day was like, and I'm glad you had fun. The pictures can wait. Christina and others as narcissistic as us will gladly take up the slack!

:)

Kathi

Christina Horton
03-12-2010, 03:36 PM
Leslie,

Christina and others as narcissistic as us will gladly take up the slack!

:)

Kathi


Narcissistic....Narcissistic!!!! I am not Narcissistic , What do you meen Narcissistic , why would you say I'm Narcissistic , I have neve......What does Narcissistic mean? :strugglin

Leslie Langford
03-13-2010, 01:44 PM
...I guess feeling comfortable enough to eventually post my "Leslie" pics on this site is one more thing to add to my "Bucket List".

On the other hand, the overall level of the contents of that bucket is rapidly declining, especially as l get more comfortable with this side of me and begin to embrace it for the wonderful gift that it actually is.

And given the extremely positive (and unexpectedly rewarding) interactions that I have had with GG's while out in public have convinced me that rather than seeing us as freaks or objects of derision, most of them seem to admire our courage in expressing to the fullest what we really are deep down inside, and they almost seem to be awe of having the opportunity to meet someone as rare and misunderstood as we are.

Crossdressers perhaps likened to unicorns, Sasquatches, or Leprechauns - rumoured to exist out in the "real" world but scanty supporting evidence in most people's eyes? - now there's an interesting analogy :eek::heehee::D!

sherri52
03-13-2010, 02:39 PM
Leslie that was a great shoppin excursion and near miss. Bottom line is #1 you are definitly getting used to it

Gracie girl
03-13-2010, 03:22 PM
How kewl, sounds like so much fun. I did the drive through at mc donalds this morning-full make-up girly sunglasses, capris and a feminine harley top w/crystals around the collar. Hardly a blink from the window girls!

julie w
03-13-2010, 04:16 PM
Leslie Thanks for you post its really nice to hear of positive outings ,