Do you need to dress or do you just wan't to

[tgirl2b]

With me it's a little of both . When I was younger it was a need now it's more like a want to.

[Danielle Gee]

Most of the time with me it's "Want to"...But if I go too long it becomes "Need to"

Danielle

[NV Susan]

For me it's want to, I could stop any time.............Yea right!!! :eek:

[Jill]

I dress fairly often, at least a few times a week for short amounts of time because I want to. I want to say that I don't need to dress, but I know what will happen if I don't dress.

[Jaydee]

It must be "need", because while I can sometimes stop for a while, the need always comes back.

Jaydee

[TGMarla]

If I "need" to, it's all for a matter of well-being. There are times when the desire to be en femme is overwhelming, and simply gnaws at me.

Throw that in with the simple "I want to", and there you have it.

[Alexei]

Well, I don't feel any sort of compulsion...but I do feel happier and more comfortable when dressed, and a longing when not.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I will say a little of both. When I have less stress I dress less.

[Wen4cd]

Duty? I sometimes dress just exactly when I don't want to, when I'd rather be doing something else, just so I don't forget all of who I am.

[Cheryl T]

Need to for sure.
Femininity is a large part of my being and over the years I have tried to suppress it to no avail. I have discovered that this is me and my need to express it outweighs all else.

[Vieja]

I call myself a casual dresser who can dress or not as the mood arises. But then why is the mood always arising?


Vieja

[Cassandra Lynn]

Short term = want to
long term = need to

[Rachel05]

For me it is nearly always want to, just every so often I feel I need to if I feel stressed and needing an escape

[sherri52]

I need to dress because I want to, therefore I need to

[Lynn Marie]

Why does this thread remind me of quitting smoking?

Sure, I can quit anytime I want to. I just like to smoke.

For me, thankfully, not any more. I just like to dress.

[immike]

With me it's a little of both . When I was younger it was a need now it's more like a want to.
I love to dress,in secret.I use my mothers clothes,secretly.We are about the same size
so I can get away with trying on her dresses&skirts&blouses&shoes.I have a personal stash of pantyhose&I put on a pair&wander thru her closet,wearing her many outfits&I
sometimes dress in her good skirtsuits&use one of her blouses&a pair of heels&spend the day dressed&do my hair and makeup at her table

[Dee2U]

Well, I don't feel any sort of compulsion...but I do feel happier and more comfortable when dressed, and a longing when not.

Thank you Alexei - I think you are absolutelely correct to use the word "longing". Need is sometimes too strong a word. But then, like otheres have said, if you cant dress for for a very long time (long being relative) then perhaps it does become a need....Dee

[thechic]

Its a necessity to life for me.
to be en femme is overwhelming at times.

[Darla L]

The desire to dress is always there, but when the desire becomes overwhelming it becomes a need. At least that's how it is for me.

[MizLutz]

To be truthful, I hate wearing clothing, period but I'm much more comfortable in women's clothing. I've always thought, shouldn't it be the other way around. A pair of pants is just a mean thing to do to a man lol

[WandaRae2009]

It is definitely a need. Like many here, I thought it would go away once I got married in a stable relationship. But, no, the need is just as strong if not stronger. The Want comes in: I want to do it the best that I can and look the most believable I can.

[StaceyJane]

I feel wonderful when I'm dressed but it's definitely a need for me. I have to express Stacey.

[Princess Ludwyna]

It's no more a need for me. It's just when i want to.

[Loni]

i want more need to dress...:heehee:

i put on a skirt as often as i can, even if just for a couple hours, or just for dinner/breakfast/etc.

spent the whole day yesterday dressed, cleaning up inside the house. would have done some outside...but it was raining.

loni

[Joanne f]

Most of the time i just like to which i guess is wanting to but every so often there is a need to .

[Rachel2000]

For me its a need. I think of the countless times I've purged only to be miserable and start over again - not to mentioned the small fortune that it has cost me over the years.

[sometimes_miss]

For me, there's a constant feeling of being in the wrong clothes. I can, of course, suppress it, but it takes a certain amount of brain work to do this, which would be better off being used on more important issues. The degree of concentration necessary to ignore the crossdressing desire increases slowly until I just do it. Desire satisfied for the time being, I go back to being just another guy. Repeat ad infinitum to the day I die. Stress also shortens the length of time I can withstand the urge to crossdress, again, using up brain 'cycles' and lessening my resistance. As the Borg said, resistance is futile. So, I don't want to, or really need to, but it makes it possible to think, and sleep. So I do it.

[JOJO44]

No, I don't "need" to dress.
I don't need to eat, breathe, or any other thing that keeps me alive.
Actually I have tried many times to stop, and here I am all dressed up again!
So, want to? I don't know.
Need, just like eating or breathing!

[BonnieJG]

Well for me is want to . I have fun and I injoy dressing up

[Annaliese2010]

OMG it's so cool to find this thread. Just this evening I've been thinking this very same thing. It's really an interesting question. My knee-jerk answer is because I want to, not need to, but as I am sitting here I realize I could argue both sides. I am Annaliese now and then...and just now, I AM. But... not out of any OVERRIDING need or compulsion, yet for specific reasons nonetheless. I thinnnnk...I'll work on this offline later cos I just finished writing well over 1000 words to explain and am not finished... and really don't' want to fritter away the night like this... looking inside... trying to be objective by way of self-reflection... understanding... and then, whats most time consuming of all... trying to translate it logically, comprehensively and without tangential flights into unnecessary depths... boring all... creating a monster post no one will read and just get annoyed over... LOL... so... to be edited later... maybe... IDK... whatever. Rather have some light fun instead. Not slammin the thread... by no means! Good question!

God... I wish someone who was good at writing could teach me how to be succinct and concise. I am NOT a writer. Don't have a mind organized enough for this. But...

If push comes to shove? Bottom line?

Because I want to... sometimes... Not need to. Though thats not quite correct so... ugh.... I mean like... I AM now Annaliese... and "ahole" is chained and restrained in the "basement" so to speak, LOL... but even THAT's not correct. He's there cos he wants to be and I'm here because... well... just because.... LOL... Ok, yeah... because I want to BE. So THERE. Hee hee...

[Tina P Hose]

In my weak human brian, want to equals need to.

[NathalieX66]

Once I realize I want to, I need to.

[Michelle-Leigh]

I both need to and want to dress something fierce ! Even when I am not in a long siege en femme, I cannot bear to wear anything with a mens' label, so I stay dressed in skirts or dresses or lace-trimmed nightgowns 75 % of my time, and about 15% in androgynous women's pants and shirts. I can tolerate being en drab and not wearing my hairpiece or feeling feminine little better than a long, slow freight train at a railroad crossing !

[Andrea Reynolds]

Yes. I want to dress. I need to dress. Dressing is an escape from my reality, so I like to escape from time to time. I need to dress because when I do dress, it feels like this is the real me, the repressed individual, playing the dual role. Andrea in Baltimore

[Eva]

If I "need" to, it's all for a matter of well-being. There are times when the desire to be en femme is overwhelming, and simply gnaws at me.

Throw that in with the simple "I want to", and there you have it.

I must agree. In my case it is more of a need simply because I do not get to dress as often as I would like to because I have to remainin the closet.:sad:

[Greymancd]

Need to....If it was want to I would have never kept it up so long!

[Lauren KS]

For me, it's usually a want; it's fun and exciting. However, if it's been a stressful day, or it's been a really long time, then more of a need.

[ArleneRaquel]

Need ! l would be lost not being dressed enfemme 24/7. :battingeyelashes:

[gabimartini]

My need makes me want to... lol.

[Karinsamatha]

The want is always there, I feel better and less stressed. If I am unable to enjoy being dressed then at some point it becomes an overwhelming need. :D
Then I go shopping. :heehee:

[Annaliese2010]

As Nike shoe company used to say... Just do it! ;) LOL

[jenifer m.]

it used to be a want but now i need to dress.if i go one day without something femme on i feel out of sorts.dressing has become a very real part of who i am,and who i wish to express myself as.i am masculin,and feminine,so i have to show that in how i present to the world.so its definently a need now days.

[Marissa]

Need or want???? wow.. tough to say at times.. I was sitting a country bar tonight.. and all i wanted to be is the cowboy that i am.. boots and all.. just wanting to find that belle and scoot across the floor.. look in her eyes..being the man that i'm "suppose" to be.. then.. i left because I saw a woman sitting in stool next to me..and all i did was look up and down at what she was wearing.. thinking..hmmm think i can pull it off better.. so i wanted to dress.. so finished my beer and left..

got home..and then its like..no.. i don't want to go through it all.. but its not fair, since i dont want to dress and then in a few hours have to change mode.. i want it to be a weekend..or a week..

wow..this just got confusing..LOL.. blame it on tequila..once i got home.. :eek::heehee:

anyway..on M, W, Sat its cause i want to.. other days, can't/not sure..

just another confused crossdresser.. :sad::D

[kimberly ann487]

I don't know for sure if I really need to dress. However yesterday I was dressed and out most of the day and when it came time to change I was almost in tears. Go figure !

[wishing2bali]

Only for the simple fact that I can not dress, but maybe once every couple months :sad: I need to dress when I get the chance. If I was living on my own or with a supportive SO, I would want to dress...all the time :)

[Mistybtm]

it used to be a want but now i need to dress.if i go one day without something femme on i feel out of sorts.dressing has become a very real part of who i am,and who i wish to express myself as.i am masculin,and feminine,so i have to show that in how i present to the world.so its definently a need now days.

The same goes for me as well could not have put it any better.:hugs:

[Eva]

Only for the simple fact that I can not dress, but maybe once every couple months :sad: I need to dress when I get the chance. If I was living on my own or with a supportive SO, I would want to dress...all the time :)

:)I do so understand. Because you cannot do it as much as you want, it sometimes becomes a very strong need. Sometimes like a junky trying to get a fix. I so understand.:o

[suchacutie]

Five years ago Tina appeared in our lives. It was quickly realized that Tina is a part of me, but a definable part, and a part that is only identifiable when allowed to express herself.

So, how can I deny myself...it is a need!

tina

[Emme]

When i gey home, I want to get out of those uncomfortable drab clothes and get relaxed and comfortable. If I have guest, I wait till I see the tail lights at the gate. I love my 38 c girls and their clothing.

Emme as in "M"

[Briana Blonde]

I need to because I want to.

[suspender]

Its a drug of addiction. Gotta do it!

[Gillian]

Honestly?

Well as soon as I get dressed, the overall feeling is overwhelming, complete relief and ecstasy. I want to be dressed get really upset if my en femme' days are mucked about with and get so excited so as to lose sleep the night before a full day beckon's.

[Trudy22]

It was "Want to" but since i am starting to dress now all the time when im not at work, those hours in male clothes are agony and I just can wait to get home and get dressed, so its definitely "Have to" now :-)

[marlacd]

Dressing is a "want to" thing with me. The amount of stress I get in life dictates my need to. Dressing has always been a wonderful way to get away from it all for a while.:daydreaming:

[Nicole Anne]

I used to feel it was a stress reliever. Now that i have dressed 24/7 for the last couple months, I have realized it is a need. I feel so much more myself and feel complete. I used to have the feeling of complete confusion about why i dressed. Now i am so confortable and enjoy everyday.

[Frédérique]

Do you need to dress or do you just wan't to
With me it's a little of both . When I was younger it was a need now it's more like a want to.

I want to, because I know how good it makes me feel when I’m dressed. So, if I want to feel really good (and who doesn’t?), I have a need to dress. If I go long periods without wearing my favorite femme clothes, I’m not happy – this translates into a “need” to dress that becomes palpable, so I want to dress with a strong desire. Age has not diminished this curious “need” one little bit…:battingeyelashes:

[Tina B.]

By the time I had read everyones response to this thread, I had time to give it some real thought and I have decided for me it has always been a need, that started when I was around 6 years old, at least the the first I remember it being there.I have felt the depression, hidden rage, shame and guilt and still the need was there.
Well if you need it that bad, you might as well do it because you want to, and if you do it often enough, you for get about that need, and just remember the want too. But stop dressing for a while and then you are reminded of the need, because of the depression, hidden rage and general malaise.
Tina B.
Oh, I guess that means it's a need, but I want to!

[Samantha B L]

For me it's a need and a want both simultaneously.

[Bobbie Bee]

It's both for me too; I like to dress when I'm in the mood and need to dress when the opportunity presents itself. Either way, I still feel good inside.

[msginaadoll]

This question comes up frequently. My response I wont die if I dont dress. Its not like the need for food, water and companionship. Do I feel more stressed out do I feel the urge to dress yes. I'm not sure if anyone has ever died from not crossdressing.

[Cathytg]

That answer varies from time to time. However, since there have been times when dressing has been something of a compulsion for me, I must say that I need to dress. I do not need to very often but there is a very strong compulsion in there some place.

[Jamie48]

I pretty much want to dress but, I really don't feel a need to dress.

[Lorna]

Definitely a want rather than a need. I don't always want to dress and frequently when I want to I am not able to dress. On the other hand, there have been many times when dressing has seemed too much trouble or when something I need to do would be more easily done in male rather than female clothes and I have forced myself to dress in order to experience what it feels like, as a woman would feel, to have to wear the bra, the girdle, the stockings, the skirt, the heels, etc. Unfortunately, because I am not able to go out dressed, sometimes this has to be limited to under-dressing - so I don't get to find out what it's like to walk a long way or try to run in heels or to deal with a skirt on a windy day. I want to do those things but I don't need to.

[minalost]

Most of the time with me it's "Want to"...But if I go too long it becomes "Need to"

Danielle

It used to be more of a need, but as I've come more to accept it it's turned into a want. I think that just proves that the more you resist the urge the stronger it becomes. Besides, I've finally admitted to myself that CDing is FUN!
:hugs:

[minalost]

Once I realize I want to, I need to.

Yes! Me to!
:hugs:

[Sarah Doepner]

I want to dress. It is a very interesting activity with challenges and a variety of rewards.

In need to dress. I get cranky if I go too long. I can live with cranky, but my bride sure appreciates it when I finally mellow out after a good session of girl time.

[Heidi_slave]

Well, if the desire to dress ultimately leads to mental confusion, shaking hands, short attention span and a long list of other psychological and physical symptoms that we have collectively listed, then I would class this as an addiction.

I don't know if we got this way by nature or nurture, I only know that we are this way. I come down strongly on the side of NEED TO. I have very little opportunity to dress, so I know the effects of a build-up of crossdressing chemicals in the brain. It's totally debilitating! The Pink Fog is a drug, and I, for one, am helpless against it.

Okay, in the short-term between fixes of dressing it may feel like we dress because we want to. We're just fooling ourselves if it feels like a choice. That's like taking a recreational hit of heroine. In time it will again become a deep burning need.

Can anyone relate to that?

Heidi

[TabbyJames]

I need to, I want to, plain and simple wish to. Everyone around me has said in one way or another that I am a much happier, nicer, kinder, gentler and wonderful human being when my feminine side comes out. It goes back to that whole idea that men with transgender indentities can overcompensate their masculinity with the asshole factor (that was a quote from a male friend).

[lisajane]

If I want to, it usually goes with an event or a reason [ party, seeing friends, or shopping ] As I mature the need has diminshed, I enjoy my time as Lisa more now because the need is under control.

[Rianna Humble]

I've got to come down on the side of need rather than want. I tried for some 45 years to deny who I am, then it got so that it hurt so much to be in denial that I tried to "shame" myself out of wanting to be me.

When I finally gave in and started to dress, I found myself becoming a much better person all round - including better at my job which requires a certain amount of empathy. At that stage I thought I had it "under control", but it's probably truer to say that cross-dressing had me under control.

It has got to the stage where I get a gut-wrenching feeling whenever I have to put on drab outers for work under the formal dress code or with my 88 year old father. In the looks department, I'm still at the stage of "that guy makes a really ugly woman" but I'm working towards "that's one ugly woman". He was never handsome and I will never be beautiful, but at least I will be me.

[Karen kc]

I need to dress or there is an overpowering urge that is very hard to control. I found that underdressing helps a lot when not able to fully dress.

[Cary]

Both!

[RhondaLynn]

I have a need to express myself.

Dressing allows me to achieve the state of mind that allows my feminine identity to emerge.

Together, they establish the method of expression that fulfills my need for expression. With these items in place, i find the entire experience enjoyable, cathartic, relaxing, and sensual.

It's nice to be able to slip into a soft smooth silky special place, and just enjoy something for what it is.

The previous sentence reminds me of the Nike ad that Mel Gibson & Helen Hunt in "What Women Want". Sheesh - what a blast from the past in support of CDers! The ability to hear women's thoughts - an intriguing concept to ponder...

Ok, ok, back to the thread...

[Natalie_393]

I don't need to dress up, I dress because I want to I never looked at crossdressing as a basic nesessity for life.

[BRANDYJ]

I think that for most of us, it's a true need for our emotional health. Something drives this need. It seems that no one knows why we ever started to dress in the first place...just several theories as to why.
It may be different for each of us in some ways. But seriously, if it was just a 'want' I think many that have purged would have purged for good.

So for me, it's a need and I embrace that need and can also call it a want to

[ellenwannabe]

both here also - love it and feel I have to as often as I can - Ellen

[suzy1]

How interesting that the vast majority of us are saying the same thing, want to and need to. I stopped for several years because of life events. But the need never left me. Now I am free to dress whenever I want and it has become a very important part of my life. Never been so happy and contented.

[docrobbysherry]

Why do we have the desire to dress as women?

Is there a heaven?

Will Sarah run for president?

Is there intelligent life on other planets?

Why does the chicken cross the road?:brolleyes:

[Cassandra Lynn]

Seen a few comparisons to addiction in the responses which would make the hair on my body stand up.....if i had any. LOL. As a person in recovery though, it brings up some interesting questions cause there are some parallels. I'm not qualified medically and wouldn't want to start down that road, but i will say this: Substance addiction is a disease, not in the way cancer is, but like bulimia and anorexia and other disorders it does qualify.
The thing to note that is very important though is even though we have our fair share of problems associated with CDing, we most all can say that it has also made us happier and complete when we came to accept ourselves. Peoples experiences with drugs and alcohol never do that. :) mj :)

just a little thought i needed to share, i hope i didn't offend anyone.

[maggiecdva]

For me like many of you it's a bit of both.

During times of stress it swings more toward the need to dress to help reduce the stress.

Other times I just want to feel my fem self and how good it maks me feel.

Hugs - maggie

[Ashley Allen]

Do I "need" to dress? Is it an addiction? My SO thinks it's and addiction... goes along with the sickness attitude.

First of all we are talking about clothes, here.
Second we are talking about how we want to represent ourselves.

I'm not doing anything that every female in the world does every single day. I may not be female but I really don't care what our stupid societal rules claim to be right for which gender.

Maybe it comes from a deep desire in me to rebel, but if so it also comes from a deep feeling inside to be free to be me.

If this is something about pretending to be someone else, which I can totally relate to as, I have felt that way, than maybe it's an addictive behavior, after all everything is addictive even watching TV or sports....

I can't answer for everyone else, but since I ahve been dressing up again and am semi out in the open aout it.... I am starting to realize it is a sense of freedom to be who I want to be, and I don't have to be careful to not act to femeine, like when I am in man mode... and that's why I dress.... although freedom it may be this bra is feeling a bit binding this morning.... lol not really just thought it was funny to say. Keep Smiling

[Janet K.]

I think that it is both for me. I need to dress in clothes to assimilate in public, yet I want to dress in clothes that are representative of the female gender. I am more comfortable and feel more "me" dressed en femme.

[Christina Horton]

For me it's not really a need or want ...it's who I am. I look at it this way. I don't need to eat , but if I want to live then I need to and I like food so I like to eat food. I don't need to wear any clothes but I want to so I don't scare anyone. It's the fact that I have to be true to myself and be myself to be trully happy. I don't have to be happy to live but I want to and like to be happy. To not be happy is very depressing ya know. Just my :2c: worth.

[Cassandra Lynn]

Do I "need" to dress? Is it an addiction? My SO thinks it's and addiction... goes along with the sickness attitude.
That's very unfortunate Ashley, and i wish she could see what goes on in the real world of addictions i spoke of, and the true sickness of the addictive personality, as it would be educational for her.


Maybe it comes from a deep desire in me to rebel, but if so it also comes from a deep feeling inside to be free to be me.
My fighting to stuff my gender feelings was an issue that kept me in my sick thinking for many years and it was while in a treatment facility that i came to the realisation that freedom to be all that i am was beneficial for me. mj->:hugs:<-Cassie

[countrygirl]

Depends on my mood, sometime I want to sometimes I need to bring Amanda out. Just depends...

[Jenniferpl]

My need to leads to want to.

[MarieTS]

This is sort of like asking Do you really need to breathe or do you just want to? :heehee:
Michelle-Leigh's post put it quite well.

[Pattie O]

"Can't always get what I want but in the end I get what I need........."

[Heidi_slave]

Seen a few comparisons to addiction in the responses which would make the hair on my body stand up.....if i had any. LOL. As a person in recovery though, it brings up some interesting questions cause there are some parallels. I'm not qualified medically and wouldn't want to start down that road, but i will say this: Substance addiction is a disease, not in the way cancer is, but like bulimia and anorexia and other disorders it does qualify.

I respect what MsMjSerene wrote. I sort of started these references to addiction in this thread, and I don't want to be dismissive of the experiences of people who have struggled with addiction. I don't have much experience with addiction, but I know it's a real problem. By contrast, wearing panties is NOT a problem, even though it can complicate your life somewhat.

My point is that sometimes The Urge appears irresistable; an experience that makes it even more erotic and intense. If I dressed merely because I wanted to, then it would be, um, fun. Often I dress because I'm in the thrall of an almost hypnotic pink force-field that has my mind and body under a spell. Even calling it a "need" doesn't quite do justice to the experience.

FWIW,

Heidi

[Mary Jane]

I do NEED to dress from time to time. Not as often as others but often enough to satisfy my needs, I guess.

[Cassandra Lynn]

I respect what MsMjSerene wrote. I sort of started these references to addiction in this thread, and I don't want to be dismissive of the experiences of people who have struggled with addiction. I don't have much experience with addiction, but I know it's a real problem. By contrast, wearing panties is NOT a problem, even though it can complicate your life somewhat.

My point is that sometimes The Urge appears irresistable; an experience that makes it even more erotic and intense. If I dressed merely because I wanted to, then it would be, um, fun. Often I dress because I'm in the thrall of an almost hypnotic pink force-field that has my mind and body under a spell. Even calling it a "need" doesn't quite do justice to the experience.

FWIW,

Heidi
Thank you for your comments Heidi, and no need to clarify or worry about being disrespectful, you were, as others were just stating how the need can sometimes feel so powerful that it resembles addictive behavior. I could go on about the subject since i've had clinical experience, but it is probably not what everyone would want to see publicly. If anyone wants to chat about the subject feel free to PM me though, a part of any good recovery program is sharing openly with others so i am open for discussion. But i want to make it clear that what we do in CDing is not not a sickness, disease or addiction IMO. :) mj :)

[diannecourtney]

A wonderful question. I want to be a girl, I need to be a women. My ex wife says that the change will be intense and I shouldn't expect to change. I do love it though.

[PatriciaT]

I need to dress. I am the real me when I am about and about en femme. I am more relaxed, and feel　more natural. I have to force myself into boy's clothing. I have to force myself out of girl's clothing.:2c:

[Sweeterica]

for me to its need to and want to,not always fully transformed but just something even if just for an hour.mmm

[girlygirl02]

want to most of the time sometimes if i havent dressed for a while the need to just gnaws at me. when i want to dress and dress i feel a tush and its very exciting and i love how i can feel like a girl and all that.

[JenniferRose]

I believe it is a bit of both for me, usally when I want to then I have to, but on occasion I get this I have to feeling

[SusieK]

Once I realize I want to, I need to.
:iagree:

Another vote for this option. Suppressing the urge once it has arisen just causes it to get stronger, and starts to have a negative effect on other aspects of my life. Ironically, the reason for suppressing is generally to avoid having a negative effect on other aspects of my life. Go figure

Susie

[Samantha43]

I need to. It's not something I can go for very long without doing. The need brings the want.

[Tanya C]

I need to dress.
Therefore, I want to dress.

[countrygirl]

When Amanda shows up, It is a great stress reducer. And on occiasion, I just have to. Do not know why but I have to.