My Daughter

[TxKimberly]

I have a 6 year old daughter who suspects my cross dressing more than a little. She has never seen me, and I have not confirmed her suspicions, but she has point blank told me she thinks I wear girls clothes.

So the other day I got home from a trip and am digging my bags out of the truck when she comes running up to hug me. After hugs and kisses, she does a little twirl to show her cute little dress.
"I decided to wear a dress today!" she tells me with a sparkle in her eyes.
"You look beautiful my little one!" I told her and then winked at her "I decided NOT to wear a dress today!"
"Daddy, you would look silly wearing a dress. You would look like a girl!" she said with a little giggle. Then as we approach the front door.
"But you could wear one in the house" and as we open the front door she continues, "With the door closed", and then as we enter the house she adds one more condition, "with BOTH doors closed Daddy".
I don't know why that struck my funny bone so much, but I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.

[MJ]

careful master the force is strong with your young one :heehee:

[insearchofme]

That is pretty funny. She wants to see her daddy all girly but doesn't want to share that with anyone else, pretty sweet.

[gabimartini]

Looks like your daughter may become one of your Supportive Others... good for you! :)

[Phyliss]

Both doors closed. Hmmm Front door and back door? or front door and closet door.

Out of the mouths of babes ....

[Samantha B L]

You never know where support is going to come from.

[Jessatheone]

Cute!

[cindychan]

So cute! What a sweet girl ( and concerned).

[Sara Jessica]

Beyond cute and quite intuitive on her part.

But doesn't it sound like a lot of SO's..."just keep it behind closed doors"??? I think it is beyond interesting she'd approach it from that angle.

[AKAMichelle]

Very Cute! but you better hold up still. She is just at that age to tell her friends that she plays dress up with her father and he wears a dress. You would be a goner.

This highlights the problems we face and the burden of silence that our loved ones must keep to protect us from ridicule.

[Niya W]

Some had to tell her or she saw you Kim. Eitherthat or your daughter is going to grow up to be some sort of super detective . But I wounder how the wife would feel about you dressing infront of your daughter . Kim a life size Barbie doll.

[Cathytg]

You have a wonderful daughter.

[dawnmarrie1961]

Kimberly, It sounds like you have a wonderful daughter. She's very smart for her age too.
Speaking from my own experience. Heed your daughter's request if you are going to dress at home when she's there. My children went through hell in highschool because I was dressing full time. School mates can be very cruel.

[Jamie48]

From the mouth of babes. Cute.

[Shelly Preston]

What a lovely sweet comment from your daughter :)


She is right about one thing - you do look like a Girl :D

[kaitlin]

Hey Kim, I understand!! I have two daughters (step) the oldest, 11, loves the nail polish thingy (see my pics) and has used me for some makeup practice a few times. I think she knows more than I give her credit for. The youngest hasn't given any clue that she knows or thinks anything yet.

[ReineD]

Ah, I remember a story you posted when she was younger and felt that anyone should wear a princess dress if they wanted to! :daydreaming:

She is very sweet, but she is beginning to conform to the ubiquitous attitudes that are out there. She wants to support her dad but she is afraid of what people might think. I can't help but think, as she is her father's daughter, that she will grow strong in the belief that we all need to be who we are.

:love:

[kristinacd55]

That is hilarious. What a cute story, makes you go :heehee:
I'm dating myself but it reminds me of the old Art Linkletter show when "kids would say the darndest things!"

[Sarah Doepner]

Kim,

It sounds like you have a wonderful little girl there. And if she is as cute as you are you will need to keep the shotgun near the door when she grows up.

My granddaughters 6, 7 & 8 have seen me and have photos of me in a nurse costume from a couple Halloween's ago. They are reserved about it and think that maybe I'm just a little more silly than average. It's hard to get a good read on how they feel about it. Regardless, I'm less concerned about sharing this with them than I am with their mother, my daughter. I'll have to let her know first before moving on to the next generation. I don't think it would be a good idea to leave her out of the loop.

[Hope]

Hrm.

It's a cute story, as most stories involving clean well-mannered children are; though I don't hear the support that others do. I hear her saying something along the lines of "Gee, I can look the other way on your whole strange issue, but don't embarrass me ok?" It's not exactly what I think of as "supportive" but from a 6 year old it is pretty bloody cool.

On the other hand, what I do think this is is a teachable moment. It is an opportunity to show her that cross-dressers aren't deviants, that cross-dressing is not a crime. An opportunity for you to show her that people who are different don't need to hide behind two closed doors, that people who are different are pretty cool, and exactly the sorts of people, like her father, she wants to hang out with.

[TNRobin]

That's really cute!

Maybe, if your wife doesn't mind, you should take her up on it. She might discover that she likes having 3 parents instead of just two.:love:

[suzy1]

That’s a lovely post. Has put me in a nice mood before going to bed[9.30pm here by the way]

SUZY

[Kaz]

Ah, I remember a story you posted when she was younger and felt that anyone should wear a princess dress if they wanted to! :daydreaming:

She is very sweet, but she is beginning to conform to the ubiquitous attitudes that are out there. She wants to support her dad but she is afraid of what people might think. I can't help but think, as she is her father's daughter, that she will grow strong in the belief that we all need to be who we are.

:love:

As Reine says, I do so hope so... but be careful about what she knows. We have a responsibility to our kids that is far far bigger than our need to CD. Their welfare is paramount... and their support is the icing on the cake!

Love Kaz xx

[Fab Karen]

She may have seen or heard something. Sounds like for a second she forgot, then remembered and wanted you to know it's ok.:)

[Jilmac]

As Art Linkletter used to say, "Kids say the darndest things" and he was right. Methinks your six year old knows more than you believe she does and she's letting you know as only kids can. She deserves a big hug and smile.:love:

[Nigella]

No truer word, as someone has already said, than out the mouth of babes.

The one thing that I see in this post is that we are putting our interpretation of the comments of this young girl, and if necessary, fitting them to fit a situation that suits us.

Who knows what is going on in this young lady's mind? I certainly wouldn't even try to interpret her comments as "knowledge".

[SuzanneBender]

Kimberly I am not sure if she knows more or not. Kids are intuitive but it sounds more like a comment springing from the wonderful bond between a daughter and Daddy.

My youngest daughter is 11. We paint each others nails. She doesn't see anything wrong with it. Its just Daddy bonding with her. My sons think I am nuts because I let her paint my nails and I paint hers. Boys just don't get that its the same thing as shooting hoops with them in the back yard.

Your daughter sounds like a cutie pie.

[SherriePall]

Hmmmmmm. Verrrrrrry inter resting.

[TxKimberly]

Some had to tell her or she saw you Kim. Eitherthat or your daughter is going to grow up to be some sort of super detective . But I wounder how the wife would feel about you dressing infront of your daughter . Kim a life size Barbie doll.

While my daughter is of course a smart girl, it didn't take a rocket scientist to put that two and two together. She often sees the things I pack and unpack for my trips. I had done this in front of my eldest son for years and it never occurred to him. Apparently that sort of thing doesn't slide by a daughter though.
I don't have to wonder how my wife would feel about my dressing in front of my daughter because I KNOW she would come utterly unglued.



. . . I can't help but think, as she is her father's daughter, that she will grow strong in the belief that we all need to be who we are.

:love:

Reine,

From your lips to Gods ears!



Hrm.

It's a cute story, as most stories involving clean well-mannered children are; though I don't hear the support that others do. I hear her saying something along the lines of "Gee, I can look the other way on your whole strange. . . .

You know Hope, I agree with you. When you add that one to a few other comments I've had from her, it actually disturbs me a little just how clear cut her line between what is right for boys and girls is. You can count on the fact that my wife and I don't encourage the drawing of that line, or its enforcement, so it sort of bugs me just how firm the line in her mind is.



As Reine says, I do so hope so... but be careful about what she knows. We have a responsibility to our kids that is far far bigger than our need to CD. Their welfare is paramount... and their support is the icing on the cake!

Love Kaz xx

I couldn't agree more, which is why I haven't confirmed my daughters suspicions with a confession. She deserves the chance to have a reasonably normal childhood and I intend to give it to her. Even when the time comes when I do confirm it for her, she will NOT be seeing me that way except perhaps on very rare occasions. It would make me far too uncomfortable.

[divamissz]

Kids always know more than you think...

My stepson suspected I was up to something for years, but never mentioned it until I did. A friend of ours is a pre-op MTF, so he knows about transgenderism. So when I came out, it wasn't as big a crisis as it could have been. It probably helped that I waited until he was 18, too.

So he knows but doesn't want to see me dressed. I've offered to show him photos, but he's turned me down. It does make it a bit difficult at times. I can dress at the house but I have to make sure he's in his room when I leave or go down the hall. Also, his friend shows up at unexpected times so I have to be aware of that issue.

[Rogina B]

My 8 yr old daughter told me the other day that I had better wear a pink outfit for Easter and that she would help with my makeup!!! And she,like Kimberly's daughter,loves to draw the line in the sand..girl stuff/boy stuff...girl colors/boy colors. Then when I don't play,she drops it and forgets she made the comment. She seems fine with Dad's dressing...and it is everyday to some extent.. Some of us are lucky in that.:2c:

[Maria in heels]

Kimberly...I just had to smile as I read your post...

I know that you are talking about, as my boys at times have made comments about "mommy's shoes" that are downstairs..they are on display for anyone to see if they go down to the basement, as I have posted in my album... Now, if they decide to open the dressing cabinet that I have down there as well, then they would be in for a true shock!

It is something that can be very "risky", and my wife wants me to build a "wall and closet off" my shoe collection, before the kids get too many ideas. I am sure that as Dawnmarrie1961 wrote, school mates can be very cruel. I can only imagine the things that other children can say to ours if they express the fact that "daddy wears a dress"...

But on the lighter side ( and we must always keep it there ) it is truly remarkable that someone so young can recognize Kimberly, even though you have not introduced her to your daughter...very smart and actually gifted...

[Andy66]

Your daughter sounds adorable and smart.

When you add that one to a few other comments I've had from her, it actually disturbs me a little just how clear cut her line between what is right for boys and girls is. You can count on the fact that my wife and I don't encourage the drawing of that line, or its enforcement, so it sort of bugs me just how firm the line in her mind is.
Not to worry, my dear. I think it's a phase some kids go through. Both of my boys had ideas about "girls can't do that" and "that's for boys" for a while. I believe I've helped them see things differently. Mom can be quite a tomboy. :heehee:

[Lynn Marie]

Ain't it great how much she loves her Daddy. Mine is 27, the love is still there, just not the same as when they are so young and loving so much.

[NathalieX66]

Kimberly, that's just so endearing.
It's amazing what kids say.

[Sally24]

It actually disturbs me a little just how clear cut her line between what is right for boys and girls is. It sort of bugs me just how firm the line in her mind is..
My daughter works with very young children every day and that is definitely a phase they go thru. When they learn a rule, be it how to pronounce a word or what to do in a situation, it's like writen in stone. When she substitute teaches she hears "teacher doesn't do it that way" all day long! Everything is black and white early on. Later they learn to color things in shades of gray, it just takes time.

I would dare say she is on to you in one way or another. I would guess that she'll push the questions by the time she gets to 10 or 12 years old. It's up to you to decide when it's right to confirm.

Enjoy the little ones, they grow up so fast!!:sad:

[Froggy's Angel]

We recently introduced Nicole to our 4 year old.
She said that "Daddy looks pretty."
Nicole wore full makeup, a cotton blouse, some jeans, her wig and had her nails painted. So nothing too over the top.

We have been telling our daughter since she was a baby that boys can be princesses and queens and girls can be kings and princes.

We also tell her that some people have two mommies or two daddies and some people only have one mommy or daddy, but that all families are special.

I try very hard not to gender assign things for her, she plays with princess dolls and cars and trucks. :)

We have basically just tried to instill in her that people should be happy and loved, no matter what, and if a boy dressing like a girl makes that boy happy, then he should do that.

But, that is just us. :)

[Satrana]

I think you should take the opportunity to talk to her gender in general. You should find out if her comments really do come from knowing about your dressing. If they are then you really need to open up to her. She has just reached out to you and wants to share in your secret. This is a classic girl bonding situation. If the moment is right, this is a great opportunity to form an extra close and lasting relationship with her.

As for your silliness as a girl - just wait and see. She will be wanting to be your fashion adviser and practice make-up with you.....:love:

[jenifer m.]

kids are the cutest,they can say the darndest things.and they will almost always tell it to you exactly as they see it..... gotta love em to pieces

[Chari]

Ah yes Kim, the innocents of honesty from a child! Priceless!

[5150 Girl]

Ya know,,,, little girls like to play dress up, and have tea parties.... Hmmmmmmmmm,,,,,, I wonder if...............................

[ReineD]

Wow, lots of great comments here!

Sally has a great point about young children seeing the rules as paramount while they are learning them, until they can redefine them as they mature.

I agree with Satrana in using the next opportunity your daughter brings this up to talk to her. Your daughter will need to learn about the gender rules at a deeper level than other kids who don't have TG parents. You could ask her how she would feel knowing (not seeing for now) that daddy wears dresses sometimes. You could find a way to explain gender at a level a 6 year old can understand, and help her to begin to accept that it is OK to be different even if lots of people are afraid of things they don't understand.

The trickiness in your situation is that you and your wife are not on the same page about the kids knowing (not necessarily seeing)? If this is the case your daughter will eventually feel the dissonance and her loyalties might be torn. It would be helpful if your wife would agree to not transfer her dislike or fears of the CDing to your daughter, even if it is something that dad prefers to engage in on his own (although I know that you would like it if your wife were more involved).

:hugs:

[gigiluv]

I love that story. I think you might just let it progress at its own pace. I have two daughters now 28 and 34. They are my biggest supporters and actually by gifts for that side of me. One of them (Danie_girl) on this site, just informed me that her and her sister are taking me to a large city next week to the Mac counter at Belk's - their treat.

That is what your little girl can be for you later if all goes well, and I hope it does. Then she will be your best friend in the entire world. Trust me. It is true.

[Frédérique]

After hugs and kisses, she does a little twirl to show her cute little dress.

I’ve based an entire lifestyle on these extremely beautiful gestures! :daydreaming:


"I decided to wear a dress today!" she tells me with a sparkle in her eyes.
"You look beautiful my little one!" I told her and then winked at her "I decided NOT to wear a dress today!"

Somewhere between “I decided to wear a dress today!” and “I decided not to wear a dress today…” is the sad story of gender expectations (truth or cosequences) in American society. At six years of age your daughter knows all about the concept of a “closet,” and the need to hide one’s true self for reasons of survival. She’s lucky to have you nearby, Kimberly, to provide a swinging bridge between reality and fantasy, male and female, and the insight into why one would want to cross over to the other side. You’re halfway there, and someday all the doors will be open…:battingeyelashes:

[Teri Jean]

Kimberly, she has busted you so hard your teeth should be rattling. LOL Give her a hug as I know you would as the two of you have a wonderful bond.

Teri

[weekend woman]

Kimberly, did you say six going on seventeen?

[Rebecca Jayne]

Juveniles do not understand the implications of adulthood and soon forget what transpires.

Fortunatly for children ingnorance is bliss

[Peri Bender]

Wise beyond her years!!!

[Michelia]

You know my little boy got me out dressed up for the first time out of the house. He loves to see me dressed. But if I just had a little girl like yours to share it all with! She sounds so girly and adorable!

[NancyTO]

The doors might be shut, but she didn't say anything about the drapes on the windows being closed. :heehee:

Before you know it, dad and daughter will be trading make up and clothes. They grow up so fast. :)

[Mary Morgan]

Kimberly, the part of your story that is most important is that she met you at the car to greet and hug you. For me that was so many years ago, and a memory which still brings tears of joy.

[Samantha Thomson]

kimberly you will have to tell your daughter soon i have a 11 yr old daughter she knows her mother thought it was best to tell her 2 yrs ago when she was 9 and showed her samantha got all dolled up skirt nylons heels bra blouse make-up my daughter and her mom are verry exsepting chrismas they buy me girl clothes make-up jewerly etc just remember she your daughter and your father it wont matter if your wearing a pair of pants or a skirt samantha

[krisinpink]

That is darling, and utterly utterly hilarious!!

[TxKimberly]

Kimberly, the part of your story that is most important is that she met you at the car to greet and hug you. For me that was so many years ago, and a memory which still brings tears of joy.


Mary, hands down you win my "favorite reply" award for this thread. I also have a 21 year old son and am well aware that the day will come when she is no longer interested in greeting me, or giving me hugs, and the very thought brings tears to my eyes.



kimberly you will have to tell your daughter soon . . .

I agree that I should and will tell her, but not at the age of six. She has no concept of the way it would hurt HER social life if she is not discreet about it, and what kind of father would risk his daughters happiness? When she is old enough to understand the concepts for "discreet" and "consequences" then I will have a conversation with my little princess.

[vivianann]

Having a child run up to you yelling daddy to greet you when you come home is the most precious moments a father can have, I sorely miss those moments, cherish those moments while you can, which I am sure you will.

[CharleneT]

Kimberly, she has busted you so hard your teeth should be rattling. LOL Give her a hug as I know you would as the two of you have a wonderful bond.

Teri

:iagree:

[shayleetv]

Don't think that you will someday loose those hugs and kisses from your daughter they are just fewer opportunities for them to share them. My oldest daughter is married and moved far enough away that I don't see her sometimes for weeks, but when I do see her she always is delighted to see me and always gives me a big hug just like she did when she was a little girl. I also get the same from my oldest son. Even though there was a big gap of time when it just wasn't cool for a time. He is now 41 and there are somethings that he has found that are the really important and his parents are at the top of his list just below his wife. Oh, by the way so are his in-laws. Life is sweet when you learn to love those around you. He doesn't know Shaylee but my daughters as well as my 2nd son know.

[Sarah Doepner]

I get the full attack hugs from my granddaughters now and I wouldn't do anything to discouraged them. Their view of the world is sweet and full of love and meeting their grandpa's evil twin sister might change that. It would be a shame to have them look at the rest of the world through filters, wondering what is really behind the curtain or the smile.

[Michelle Charles]

Our kids can be mighty precious! Daddy!

[msniki48]

I have a 6 year old daughter who suspects my cross dressing more than a little. She has never seen me, and I have not confirmed her suspicions, but she has point blank told me she thinks I wear girls clothes.

So the other day I got home from a trip and am digging my bags out of the truck when she comes running up to hug me. After hugs and kisses, she does a little twirl to show her cute little dress.
"I decided to wear a dress today!" she tells me with a sparkle in her eyes.
"You look beautiful my little one!" I told her and then winked at her "I decided NOT to wear a dress today!"
"Daddy, you would look silly wearing a dress. You would look like a girl!" she said with a little giggle. Then as we approach the front door.
"But you could wear one in the house" and as we open the front door she continues, "With the door closed", and then as we enter the house she adds one more condition, "with BOTH doors closed Daddy".
I don't know why that struck my funny bone so much, but I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes.


I hope you thanked her for her permission! ;)

:hugs:

[TGMarla]

I'm at a loss for words except to say that I just love it!

She seems like a little girly-girl. How sweet! :battingeyelashes:



And by the way, she's right. When you wear dresses, you do look like a girl.

[Jannette H]

Mary, hands down you win my "favorite reply" award for this thread. I also have a 21 year old son and am well aware that the day will come when she is no longer interested in greeting me, or giving me hugs, and the very thought brings tears to my eyes.




I agree that I should and will tell her, but not at the age of six. She has no concept of the way it would hurt HER social life if she is not discreet about it, and what kind of father would risk his daughters happiness? When she is old enough to understand the concepts for "discreet" and "consequences" then I will have a conversation with my little princess.

Kimberly, Great idea some times they can put 2&2 together and not realize how they did it or what they did. I bet that caught you didn't it. It was a really pleasant surprise. I could hear you gasp.:)

[Missy Tanya]

And yes, your Daughter is precious. She's is right, when you wear a dress, you do look like a girl. A very pretty girl, or should I say a woman. Love hearing and seeing you trips. I so wish I could someday have the courage to fly pretty. But I don't even like flying drab. But some day over the rainbow, I might be lucky enough to have the seat next to you, and your welcoming smile.

Tanya

[sherri52]

She may end up being your shopping partner in a few years

[Suzy Harrison]

You daughter sounds adorable Kimme - and I'm sure she'll grow up just like my gorgeous daughter Melanie.

She now understands, totally accepts and thinks nothing of us going shopping, or eating out together - so the best may be yet to come.

hugs Suzy

[Cassiecd]

Kim

I too, am staring at an empty nest soon. Those moments are truly to cherish.

Funny how smart, perceptive and wise six year olds are! What a wonderful moment.

Cassie

p.s. coming back to Boston soon?