Competition

[Magickman]

There are some women who are jealous of men expropriating women's clothing styles. "I will wear the high heels and skirts in this house," they exclaim. "This is my territory. Stay away," seems to be the meaning.

I sometimes hear, "You have better nails/legs than I do," from women, as if they are none too happy about it.

I think they don't want fashion and style competition from men. Men are suposed to admire women, rather than compete with them in appearance.

Are women over the top. in this oposition to men who dress in androgenous fashion styles?

[Veronica Nowakowski]

I haven't heard this from women. I have been told I have a sickness, but of those women that I have let know, they've been supporting.

I'd really need more information on the women who are saying this to you in order to make an informed decision.

[ReineD]

Oh boy. :wall:. Sorry.

Magickman, I appreciate where you're coming from, but you really are expressing a common CD bias and not the reality. There are so many threads in this forum where GGs express their true feelings that I can't possibly link them all here.

Yes it is true GGs have said I'm jealous of my partner's legs, nails, or whatever, but it is not said in the spirit or with the venom that you describe. I would compare it to a guy who loves sportcars and he is good heartedly envious of his best friend's new Ferrari. I think my SOs legs and nails are fab, much nicer than mine, but there is no malice at all when I say that I am jealous. It is just an expression. I'm glad she has nice legs, hair, nails, eyes, smile ....

It is also true there are GGs who feel their femininity is threatened by their CDing partners, but these GGs have partners whose own femininity is more important to them than their GGs. These GGs are sad because they feel secondary to the relationship and they feel their own femininity is under appreciated. Does this make sense? :)

EDIT
Wow, Veronica, that's 2 on 2. I really like your posts! :hugs:

[minalost]

There are some women who are jealous of men expropriating women's clothing styles. "I will wear the high heels and skirts in this house," they exclaim. "This is my territory. Stay away," seems to be the meaning.

I sometimes hear, "You have better nails/legs than I do," from women, as if they are none too happy about it.

I think they don't want fashion and style competition from men. Men are suposed to admire women, rather than compete with them in appearance.

Are women over the top. in this oposition to men who dress in androgenous fashion styles?

The harshest response I've ever gotten from woman is "...how can you pretend do know what it's really like to be a woman..." I'm sure she was refering the the monthy cycle, giving birth, the disparity in the work place... that really seperates GGs from us fakers. I've never gotten jealousy, but then I don't think I have much to be jealous of - in the feminine department that is. Okay, maybe my nails, but that's it! :tongueout.
:hugs:

[Sarah Doepner]

When women compliment me I don't know who is more surprised, me or them. I have yet to have a GG be jealous of my feminine presentation. It's pretty clear that even if I have paid all the attention in the world to my nails, hair, makeup and clothes, I'm who I am and present absolutely no threat or competition. When my wife makes comments it's only because she is concerned that I will be doing something that will potentially out me to family who are not aware of my crossdressing.

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

Oh boy. :wall:. Sorry.

Magickman, I appreciate where you're coming from, but you really are expressing a common CD bias and not the reality. There are so many threads in this forum where GGs express their true feelings that I can't possibly link them all here.

Yes it is true GGs have said I'm jealous of my partner's legs, nails, or whatever, but it is not said in the spirit or with the venom that you describe. I would compare it to a guy who loves sportcars and he is good heartedly envious of his best friend's new Ferrari. I think my SOs legs and nails are fab, much nicer than mine, but there is no malice at all when I say that I am jealous. It is just an expression. I'm glad she has nice legs, hair, nails, eyes, smile ....

It is also true there are GGs who feel their femininity is threatened by their CDing partners, but these GGs have partners whose own femininity is more important to them than their GGs. These GGs are sad because they feel secondary to the relationship and they feel their own femininity is under appreciated. Does this make sense? :)

EDIT
Wow, Veronica, that's 2 on 2. I really like your posts! :hugs:

I agree with Reine, and I've heard these comments about nails and legs and hair too. GGs are jealous of my nails -- even in drab -- because they are thick and healthy and they grow well. I'm one of those people who could have long, real nails if I wanted to, without any of the fake nails that you can have put onto your hand. My legs too in the rare occasion that I've gone out in fem with shaved legs. (See my previous mentions of dressing up as Sarah Palin for Halloween. :P ) Same with hair, if a girl touches my hair it's usually followed by how much she loves the texture and shininess of it, wishes hers was like that, etc.

But it's never in a bitter way. It's like Reine said with the car analogy, or for example if you're a sports buff who's used to dating women who fall into the "stereotype" of just not being into sports...then you suddenly discover a girl who's so much of a sports buff that she makes you look ignorant by comparison...you might be jealous but in an admiring way. Just something you didn't expect to encounter. Know what I mean?

[ReineD]

I'm one of those people who could have long, real nails if I wanted to, without any of the fake nails that you can have put onto your hand.

Have you considered keeping them long and shaped all the time in order to just put on a coat of polish when you dress? My SO now keeps her nails this way and if anyone notices, they don't say anything. :)

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

Magickman, I think what you're interpretting as jealousy and hostility is actually less about you and more about that particular lady's own insecurity about herself with you as a foil. Many girls I know compare their clothes and body types with other ladies they see. Instead of viewing it as us vs them, maybe find something about her to compliment.

[Nigella]

Being out and about I have yet to have any female pass a negative comment on me.

I find myself at a loss for words when I get paid a compliment, mainly because I do not see myself as they see me.

[Frédérique]

I think they don't want fashion and style competition from men. Men are suposed to admire women, rather than compete with them in appearance. Are women over the top. in this oposition to men who dress in androgenous fashion styles?

They are? Admiring women leads to a desire for emulation, at least in terms of surface appearance – I think any woman who wonders about things could make this leap of logic. What women WANT is open to speculation, and they certainly won’t tell you anytime soon. :heehee: Are women over the top? In regards to what? At this point in history, after centuries of subjugation, emancipation has put women near the top, and they can at long last challenge our take on things. Some women will oppose androgyny, and some will welcome it – we aren’t sufficiently evolved to ditch pre-programmed ideas about gender, so give it a little time…

[Teri Jean]

I do not think it is so much they don't like the competition but are saying the obvious. Point in case: A faculty member whom I am associated with came to me the other day and said " I told you I would support you and your transition as long as you don't look better than me." "You have failed to hold up your bargain." She then gave me a hug and left for her next class.

The point is she gave a compliment and also an observance of how I looked and handled myself as a woman. When this happens one must look at the glass as half full not half empty. Unless the comment is blatently negative it could be they are giving a compliment.

JMO Teri

[eluuzion]

I think you are just internalizing what is natural behavior for women. Women are incredibly "competitive" in their appearance. (as well as the self-conscious factor entering in).

I would guess that you do not have two sisters or two daughters to observe. That will illustrate the normal behavior for you in a heartbeat. They can be very complimentary and supportive of each other, or viciously envious and competively critical. (within about a 30 second interval, lol).

[Imogen_Mann]

Not all women are like that I'm sure. The one's I have met that seem that way are like it with other women too... I suspect it's just insecurity with a hint of jealousy.

[ReineD]

I think you are just internalizing what is natural behavior for women. Women are incredibly "competitive" in their appearance. (as well as the self-conscious factor entering in).

Not the women I know. Not past high school, anyway. :)