the urge: mood based? seasonal? moons aligning? hormones?

[MentalMercury]

I'd have to say my urge to dress up has significantly decreased over the past 1 year or so of my life and it's kind of upsetting. I have to fight myself to start dressing but once I do it feels good and its fun and I don't regret it at all.

I theorized that 'maybe it's not as exciting anymore, you need to dress with someone' but when events roll around where people I know expect to see me dressed (drag ball, anime conventions) it doesn't seem as exciting.

Ok so next theory, holds more water, I've been through some emotionally draining things and feel like I need to be generally more happy for that urge to come back as strong as I'd like.

So my question is, what triggers you to dress? what events in your life do you think make the urge decrease?

[jenifer m.]

as far as dressing girly i do that every day like its breathing,however i have to plan a trip out in full femme i have to get every little detail just right befor hand.so i guess the planning,and anticipation are what gets me into the mood.

[gabimartini]

Liked your thread a lot! I'm always looking for patterns that may help explain the triggers behind my CDing. So far, I haven't been able to find anything really conclusive. It just comes and goes, as it always has. Working out seems to diminish it, going through stressful times seem to increase it. I have a feeling it has some sort of ties to our hormonal levels, but it's hard to prove. Would love to find out more about it!

[amy canada]

What urges me to dress? Well, the flyers and Sears catalogues with all the pretty girls wearing fabulous clothes, plus all those BOGO commercials from Payless. The more money a girl can save, the more clothes and shoes she'll buy! :heehee:

[NathalieX66]

I read somewhere that the urge to crossdress goes through cycles that last up to six months, and dies down down for a few months.

Guess what? My urge has never diminished at any point in the year. I feel this way all year round.
What does that tell you? For me, it means, I have the desire to express this side of me rather than sexual motivation. It becomes an innate part of me.

[GingerLeigh]

I find that stress makes me want to dress more, and I found that as I get older I want to dress more. Maybe there's a connection. Getting older is stressful... Nah, who knows.
It does seem to come in waves. I can go for long periods without dressing, then all I think about is dressing.

Ginger

[MentalMercury]

These replies are reminding me of past triggers now that I think of it. Other women are triggers sometimes. Being on a college campus, when the weather gets bearable all the skirts come out, and that always nags at the 'I want to feel pretty' part of me.

I've heard numerous times on these forums and confirmed myself that a new relationship makes the urge go down at first, but that's not my situation currently.

I can understand the cycle of coming and going, that makes sense, but it feels like it's taken a more than 6 month divebomb.

So I guess my next question would be then, do you want to dress more when you're all stressed out? or when things are just fine and happy?

For me personally, I find it's more when I'm happy

[Ashley B]

This thread is great, because it's something that I have thought about a ton. I'm not really sure what brings the urge on for me, or what makes it go away again when it leaves. I know the new relationship thing has been a cause for the dissipation in the past, but I've had so few of those that it could have just been a coincidence. If I had to make a guess, I would say that the more social interaction I have going on in my life, the lower my urge to dress is. However, I currently have as much of that in my life as I ever have, and I just went through as long a period of strong urges as I ever have. The urge declined within days of hearing good news about graduate school, so it's possible that I dress when I'm feeling anxious or negative in some way. But then I can remember times when things were going very well for me and suddenly all I wanted was to dress up.

As far as specific triggers, I also get that "I want to feel pretty" feeling when spring rolls around and the skirts start appearing. It can also be something as simple as seeing the women's clothing section of a department store while I'm walking through the mall. What I've noticed about myself is that although I will go through long periods of not wanting to dress (6 months is not too uncommon for me), I still have something there tugging at the back of my mind. While at school, it was well known to my friends that every once in a while I liked to go off to the mall alone, intentionally not telling anyone so that I could be there by myself. They all just assumed I liked to have time alone, but usually I did this so I could spend time looking at the women's clothing without anyone asking questions. It's kind of a paradox, but I'll find myself looking at women's clothing and wishing I could wear it while at the same time not wanting to wear it.

At this point in my life, I couldn't really pin down a trigger for the urges coming, but I think what causes them to disappear for me is a guilty feeling. I'm not saying it's rational, but for whatever reason when good things happen to me (like a new girlfriend or grad school acceptance), I think I get a kind of guilty feeling telling me that what I've been doing is inappropriate. Then I think the urge eventually comes back because it's an irrepressible part of my personality.

Hm, I didn't mean to ramble, but this is a thought provoking topic that I am very interested in.

[Celeste]

wow,my trigger is most certainly a mood swing within the week.I get to a point where i snap,and then i know two days later,i'll be dressed.I need those two days to plan and appropriate.

The other end of the spectrum would be life realities bills,kid,alimony.taxes and people who say they want to meet and then chicken out at the last minute.

you just cant be knocked down by others in this life.

[Imogen_Mann]

What triggers me... Difficult to say. I think a better question in my case is what stops me ? Every day I'd love to dress properly when I get out of bed but my day starts off in the mans world... So I can't, and then later in the day If I feel very tired when I get home, or have aches and pains... I'd rather go to bed. If I have my daughter home for the weekend, that prevents dressing too.

If there are any triggers for dressing... Times when I feel I REALLY need the right clothes on, then it's when work get's too stressful and I feel unhappy, or when I feel let down, deflated by things (like my mother not even bothering to get me a card on my 40th birthday for instance). Sadness therefore is my catalyst.

[eluuzion]

Stress, anxiety and depression are common triggers. Frustration is another strong trigger for impulsive behavior. Many times it serves as the oasis to retreat to calm the spirit and rejuvenate the spirits.

My triggers? Well, big desire upon waking...similar to the common desire for a.m. sex. Stress release for sure. Any return from an intense business or social event trips the strong impulse immediately after returning home.

But I live alone and I'm self-employed, so I dress most of the time when not in public anyway.

[thenewgirl]

I would have to say my urge is partly mood and usually occurs more then one time a day.

[DAVIDA]

I guess that I am a little different than most. Big surprise!
I don't have an "urge", it just "is".
I am dressed all the time that I am home.

[erickka]

This may seem strange to some of you, but then again, maybe not. What seems to trigger me into the tailspin of the pink fog is more stress than normal. When all is going a little more smoothly, my desire wains to a point. Since the economy took a dump, I almost lost my home to foreclosure, had to file chapter 7, amongst other things, I find much comfort and relief in getting all girlied up.I don't know if it is the feeling of "escaping" my manly side or just that is a stress relief valve. All that I know is that my dressing has somehow kept me from going off the deep end for the last year and a half. I guess it has been sort of a blessing in "disguise". Anyone who can help shed some light on this one would be much appreciated!

Hugs to all, Erickka

[Paula Siemen]

Breathing

[kimdl93]

I don't know that I have a trigger. I dress pretty much 24/7 at home - exceptions being family stuff, work away from home. So, its not a mood that strikes me, its the way I live.

[NicoleYork]

I too feel like I'm in a bit of a rut at the moment. I just don't feel like I can be bothered to dress anymore and it seems like a bit of a chore.

But sometimes, when I've gone to all the "trouble", it seems worth it and I feel "back to normal" again.

But with a baby now part of the family, chances are I'll come out of my rut when it's not appropriate to dress in front of her.

[StaceyJane]

What gives me the urge to dress?

Waking up in the morning.

Although sometimes I have dreams that make me want to dress too.

[Charleen]

I'm dresse most of the time as this is who I am. The question for me is what stops me? Unlike most, when I get really depressed I revert to full boy mode. Go figure!

[sherri52]

I dress everyday less some of the makeup. When I go out the thrill sets me in motion to dress to the nines. I don't claim to pass but I'm comfortable when I go out and don't care if I get people staring

[Frédérique]

So my question is, what triggers you to dress? what events in your life do you think make the urge decrease?

The desire to feel good triggers me to dress. As such, I cannot dress when I’m depressed, anxious, worried about something or simply not feeling well. When I’m feeling OK and the world isn’t bearing down on me, I can dress with impunity and wonder why I ever didn’t dress. I like to get into my little personal space, which is like a magical forest, and completely forget about the fact that I’m wearing my femme clothing. This is not too difficult to achieve, so I do it often…:battingeyelashes:

Events in my life have caused the urge to dress to decline now and then – circumstances of my own making, I must say, and I just went with the flow, putting dressing on the back burner until the situation became more favorable. Right now I’m in a good situation, evidenced by the fact that I’m here, among kindred spirits. At my age I don’t wish to re-enter a situation where dressing would be impossible, so I’ll stay right where I am and enjoy the closet I made for myself…:heehee:

[Melinda G]

For most of us, crossdressing is sexually driven, and your sex drive is related to your emotional state. If you're bored, worried about something, depressed, even by the weather, your sex drive goes down in a hurry. It always fluctuates, and is rarely just level for any length of time. It can also be seasonal. With spring here, I would look for a rebound! :D

[Dawn Andrews]

Hi everyone,
What makes me want to dress is down to the amount of time I have really, and the confidence that I won't be disturbed. Here I am at nearly 3am having not got dressed until 10pm because of a fear factor - daughter lives close by and has started walking the dog around here.
Still once dressed, its a great feeling. If only I could get out of that front door!
Dawn

[DeniseNJ]

I feel more like a girl once September rolls around. I shave more , let my nails grow more, I act more like a sissy and push the limits. I just feel more feminine. I want to be a girl more in the fall and I enjoy it more

[paulap]

My triggers seem to be associated with stress and sexuality. Sometimes, combined, sometimes not. It may be fighting with SO, differences with daughter, or life in general. Sometimes, it can be where I don't feel attractive enough, I must dress to feel good about myself or attractive to my partner. Idk. I love imagining all the time but can't always do it.

[suchacutie]

my negative trigger is stress and the need for either getting something important finished or dealing with whatever is generating the stress. I just cannot transform to Tina and have her solve my male-life problems...it's not fair! I must admit that Tina is very fastidious, so that's the one advantage I take of her...if I have some detailed stuff to be done and I can't focus, Tina solves that problem. She can focus and get that very detailed stuff done, and done well! Sometimes I think she's more creative than my male side!

But, when times are happy and my wife and I are well connected, Tina is just the natural result, and often my wife will sense it and ask if Tina can visit.

So, happy, secure, confident = Tina time
Need for detailed focussed work= Tina time
Stress and crisis=Tina stays in the background watching.

At least I've learned something about Tina in these last 5 years! :)

tina

[busker]

Men also have a hormone cycle ( called Circadian rhythm), and about 8 a.m. their testoterone level is as its peak, and in the evening about 8 p.m. it is at the lowest concentration. Also, the older you get, the less T you put out , so it could be that the older the more frequently you want to dress, at most any time after 8 a.m. If you are putting out some estrogen, then that might be giving uyou a push as well. If your doctor recommended saw palmetto for prostate problems that will lower more (side effects are nil except for the occasional guy who develops moobs reported as far back as 1898).
At some point in later years, (some) men also have the equivalent of menopause called andropause. Not all men have it. That may even cause more interest in dressing.
Mandrake out of water

[Natalie_393]

It's tough to put my finger on what makes me want to dress because it comes in waves with me as well somedays I can't stop thinking about doing nothing but dressing, perhaps crossdressing is triggered by things in everyday life (emotions,career,famliy) it's just all thoery I hope oneday for all of us we find out answers

[Carly D.]

I'm the same way, I haven't hardly dressed at all this past nearly full year and while I miss it..I can't seem to force myself to dress and enjoy it.. I did force myself to dress up last week but didn't like the way I felt.. (WTF) I mean I love (d) to dress up but now it's like no.. Nothing feels right..

[AllThingsPretty]

I go through the same things most of the posters here have stated, I dress more when my sex drive is increased, when I am in great spirits and when spring time arrives. But come winter time and my work load increases I tend to go without the urge to dress. or I have the urge and I am just so not in the mood.

Thank god its spring time :D

[docrobbysherry]

For most of us, crossdressing is sexually driven, and your sex drive is related to your emotional state. If you're bored, worried about something, depressed, even by the weather, your sex drive goes down in a hurry. It always fluctuates, and is rarely just level for any length of time. It can also be seasonal. With spring here, I would look for a rebound! :D

Except the "seasonal" part! :brolleyes:
In SoCal, we just went straight from Winter, to peak Summer, in one week!:eek:

[EnglishRose]

I tend to want to dress on days that end in a '-y'. However I can suppress it for a bit to give my wife some breathing room, but I really can't go more than a few weeks without.

[Hali]

The urge just comes a goes i cant keep track of the urge-swings, but i know one thing for sure..........the more i dont dress (suppress the urge) the more i feel that am not a CD but a woman (may be TS and that i cant stand being a man) but ones i dress periodically the urge reduces and makes me feel like a happy CD, hope wat i said makes sense.

[Rachel2000]

I can tell you what triggered it for me this past week. TAXES. Yep, just completed my income tax return only to find out I owe almost $9,000 in addition to the $37,000 I paid during 2009.

I really need to move to another country where you aren't taxed poor because far too many social programs. Ok, I admit some of this was my fault because I sold off too much stock, but it was headed for a free fall and I didn't want to lose any more than I already had. Live & learn.

[SuzannaB]

Also, the older you get, the less T you put out , so it could be that the older the more frequently you want to dress, At some point in later years, (some) men also have the equivalent of menopause called andropause. Not all men have it. That may even cause more interest in dressing.

I've wondered about this...I'm 53 and I've noticed the urge becoming more frequent and intense almost year on year for the past five years or so. It's got to the point where if the urge is on me and I can't dress for whatever reason I find I can't stop thinking about it. It's far more obsessive than in my younger days.

[PatriciaT]

I always have the urge in a strong way. When I am in drab and see a GG wearing something nice the urge gets particularly strong. I feel more comfortable en femme and more relaxed. I also think I look a lot better. I hate boy's clothing, feel horrible and unnatural in them and think I look like a dork. En femme, I often get approving nglances from the people around me, never in drab. That's why I go out en femme whenever I can.:straightface:

[Angel.Marie76]

Just working through the processes, working through transition.. I can say that my wantingness to 'feel pretty' and dress pretty varies as the environment around me varies, combined with my mood of the day. For example, jeans and tshirtwear is an average look for me, but 'stepping it up' to actually add colors to the foundation or trying to dress up for an occasion has to be something that I /WANT/ to do. I might relate it to any other moment in perhaps a man's or woman's life... some people like to dress up all the time, be fancy, etc. Other women I know get the whole 'Well, why would I want to go and shave my legs for THAT??!' kind of attitude. Figuring, to some people, that it takes a significant effort to get 'dressed up' as opposed to casually presenting, I might present the reality that 'I just don't feel like getting dressed up tonight' for one reason or another.

If I'm just dressing for myself and planning on flipping through my wardrobe to play musical outfits in front of the camera, the intention might be for outfit testing and planning.. hence getting dressed up would be fun IF I was looking forward to building outfits for later use. Presenting as a woman around the house, realistically, just means that I feel like 'me' and as long as NO male clothing is to be found anywhere on me, I'm good. If I had the urge to test out new makeup options, etc., would also be a good reason.. otherwise, I just want to make my skin look clear and presentable.

If I'm going out.. it's my time to have a good time AS MYSELF, and so, I would generally dress to match the location. Goth, business casual, theme, club wear, etc.. and yes, jeans, boots, and a nice Tshirt count for club wear. However, if I don't have the energy to dress for the occasion, I have to face the fact, I am a woman, and if I want to go out on the town, I need to present myself properly. That means looking respectful, tasteful, etc. if it's expected for the venue. If I don't have the energy to 'fix myself up' and look presentable for the evening, then I /don't/ have the energy to go out.. Of course, with all of this comes happiness. If I'm not happy and/or excited about looking good for an event, then when I get there, I may not even have a good time, because I have to face the fact, if I don't feel I look good enough or put together enough, then I'll feel out of place, which will ruin my mood further, and so on.

This, for me, might lead to depression at times. If I look at my closet, and stew over trying to pick something out to wear for the night, and feel like I need to give up because I can't find something that will make me happy.. I won't want to get dressed 'up', and I'll just mope about. We know that one can't stay in a depressed mood for too long before it kinda becomes overwhelming or overshadowing. I just try and find stuff to help break me out of the funk as quickly as possible, even of that means throwing on those jeans and going out to the book store.... Which means, yeah, the foundation comes out, maybe a little mascara, and a light lip gloss and poof!: Muted look, check. Now I can go be myself in the outside world, even if I'm just pumping gas or reading the newspaper in a coffee shop.

Now.. the second part of your question(s), it's both, but for different reasons each time. When I feel sad, depressed, and ugly.. I might try and FIND a reason to go out and feel pretty about myself.. again.. the simple things, if you live your life by the things that make you happy, then you may find that the things that make you happy work well together. If you see yourself getting dressed up to go out to the movies and spend a little time byyourself, then that works for you! Again, this is just my opinions talking, but if you can find /the/ thing that starts the mood change in a better direction, then the rest should follow suit.

However, I will say that, at least for me, the FAR WORST moments are when I've been trying to feel, look, BE pretty and attractive, and THEN I have to argue or fight with someone about anything. Having a disagreement with my SO or my son are perfect killers of mood. Almost every time it happens, and it will often have nothing to do with my dressing or presentation at all, but BAM! I'll want nothing more than to slither into a corner, tear off everything that I've donned to make me happy, and just want to cry.... After that, if I can see through the darkness, I will admit to trying to find anything I can to see the brighter sides of the moments around me, until, perhaps with a little less confidence, I can stand again, hold my head as high as comfortably possible, and work towards having a good day again. (summary: Still being pretty and being confident about that beauty gives me strength and happiness to move forward.)

Hope that ramblyness makes sense. :-)

[victoriamwilliams1]

If I go without dressing for a long period the trigger is seeing too many nicely dressed women!

I do try to dedicate at least one 4-8 hour day to dressing.

[Heidi_slave]

What a fabulous post. I often wonder what triggers me so intensely. I too go for long periods without The Urge, then suddenly find it upon me with a vengeance. Let's see...

Urge Increases:
* stress
* women in sexy clothes
* time alone
* eBay :daydreaming:
* being teased by other CD's

Urge decreases:
* exercise
* alcohol

[girlygirl02]

mainly mood but when so wants it i do it and its still very thrilling for me

[girlalex]

if im home alone and i don't have any plans for the day i either go on this website, eat, or sleep. I don't watch tv. but if im aware that there is some sort of event coming up, whatever that is; friends, movies, vacation, anything thats out and about with other people makes me wanna dress. in this case all i really want is to get my hair done, apply some make up along with a pair of low rise jeans and a skinny shirt. cding is really not on my mind at the moment though cuz there are no special events coming up so i just don't find any reason to dress.:)

[Ashley Allen]

Nice topic. before I read all the other replies, I want to put my thoughts out here, as I have thought alot about this; however, I am sorry I can not answer this question, it's probably different for each of us, anyway.

I find that if I have been in a situation where I am emotionally drained, I just don't even like the idea of dressing up. Maybe that's why GGs have sweat pant nights, so I doubt it's any different for CDs/TS/TV. Feeling feminine seems to be a positive only energy... and I tend to think that is why after forcing ourselves to get dolled up, we feel better and go and have a good time, positive energy multiplies itself, like in the phrase a smile is contagious.

Well at any rate I was able to relate to the feelings you described and wanted to let you know it seems to be perfectly normal for GG/CD/TS/TV, oh I hate labels, I'm just gonna say it like it is from now on, female souls. Keep Smiling

[MWCMDarlene]

My urges to dress are pretty simple. I don't have many opportunities to dress except only when no one is at home. When I wake up in the morning before the rest of the family, I make the coffee. THen I check to see if wife has left one of her bras hanging in the laundry room to dry from being washed. If so, that means I get to wear my own bra and forms until it is about time for her to get up.

If her bra is not hanging up, then I get to wear my bra and forms when I flip a quarter in the air. Heads I do, tails I don't. (Still hoping for the US Treasurery to start issueing tw0-headed quarters!).

Regardless if bra is out or not, if I have worn my own panties from the previous day and still have them one when I get up, I get to wear my own bra and forms. So that's how I dictate, pretty much, as to when I get to dress.

[Emma68]

This is something that I've thought about frequently. My desire to cross dress is very cyclical, but the cycles themselves are unpredictable. They can last for weeks, months or even years. When I don't feel the urge I can be faintly repulsed by the whole concept, but when I do it can be all consuming.

The triggers? Like many others it mostly seems to be linked to stress and depression, a means of escaping responsibility. I think there is a strong connection to the fact that I'm very submissive as a girl, which presumably is just my way of saying; 'there are all the problems. You deal with them and I'll just do as I'm told'. There is a sexual element to it as well of course, and the sight of a pretty girl wearing the kind of clothes that I like to wear may also arouse the desires.

The main inhibitor, unfortunately, is seeing a CDer in public who just doesn't pass. Good luck to them, and I hugely admire and envy what they are doing, but it also reminds me just how silly I really do look....:)

New relationships inhibit my desires initally, but not for long.....

[Sarah Doepner]

Stress tends to run the desire to dress from my mind. Once that stress situation is gone I'm usually ready to crossdress and relax just a little. It's not uncommon to have several stressors running along at the same time, overlapping and living in my world for days, weeks and even months at a time.

In situations like that the idea of dressing can bubble up as a possible way to temporarily escape the stress. But was it the stress that brought it on or was there a preexisting need to dress that finally popped up like a spring flower, regardless of the stress. I think it's more the latter. I don't think there is anything external that drives this desire to get my girl on. Anything can trigger it. The forum, a stop in the closet, shopping, the scent of a woman in an elevator, doing the laundry, reading a story, watching tv or doing yardwork are all capable of being a 'trigger' for something I was ready to do but just didn't realize it.

Maybe I should keep track of the frequency and strength of these feelings and be a scientist once again, but where is the fun in that? Maybe I should dive into the closet right now and see if there is still another combination of skirts and tops that I haven't already tried, you know, just for the hell of it. What's doing it? I wouldn't be surprised if it had something to do with my brain chemistry, hormone driven and capable of being managed but not eliminated.

[eddiesavage]

Haveing only come to terms with being a CD,i have questioned why ??
Some of my triggers are sexual,depression,the need to feel sexy,the feeling of the clothing against my skin.Thats only the start i suspect.As time goes by I am learning more about myself more which in its self raises more questions.:brolleyes: