Who am I?

[pamela_a]

I faced that question honestly today and I couldn't answer it. When asked before I'd always give the "stock" answer that I was the same person I was before but just looked different. I looked at myself honestly today when asked that question and I came up with a resounding " I don't know".
Who is Pam?
I can't say she's the same as "him" because that's not true. He was a construct. Pretend.
He was who I thought I had to be live but Pam wasn't "him". Sure Pam's history is his. All of his experiences are hers. But she's not him.
Or is she? Everything she is he helped forge but she's different. In reality she's only a few years old with 50 years experience.
She's not him, yet his experiences and his life is her only history.
So different, yet so intertwined. I'm not him... but if I'm not him then who am I?

[Karen564]

Ummm,

Your Pam...

I'm Karen..:)

My past is just that, past history..Now I just want to focus on my future...as Karen & only Karen..because that guy I pretended to be is dead & buried...may he RIP....lol

:hugs:

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

Your old self is gone in essence you've been "born again" as a new creation a new person. The old is gone and the new person is Pam. Yes you have life experiences but they make you smarter, stronger and wiser. Nice to meet you. Kimberly Marie Kelly :battingeyelashes:

[kellycan27]

You are Pam, you have been be-born and you too will create your own history given the time.

[sherri52]

You are Pam. Your journey through live has just begun. The memories you have are of a different person. Keep them, cherish them but let Pam lead her own life.

[CharleneT]

I've been pondering the same question since I went full time. At first, while assuring friends and family not to worry I often said "I'm the same person.... blah blah". In fact, just said that to a friend this weekend when she told me she missed "David". Later that night I was thinking about it and nope, I'm not the same person. Sure, there are many parts that are the same, probably most. But there are many that are not - changes from HRT - changes from accepting me for me. Maybe it is a form of evolution ? One thing is for certain; I am a work in progress. I truly believe I will end up a better person, whatever that means.

[meri]

This question is the question of our lives... I have been asking it ever since I realized I was a person.

The very best answer I have been able to come up with is simply this... I am as I am. In a nutshell, what I am feeling, thinking is the total sum of who I am at the moment.

I am not my history, history is gone, dead, buried. I can not "latch" on to it anymore.

I am not my future, that hasn't happened yet and any ideas I may have about it could easily get derailed.

Thus, I am only what I am at the moment -- NOW.

Yes, that's gone too, oops, here's a new NOW, etc....

I am not a TG, but others may describe me thus.

I am not a TS, but in reality, I don't feel "bound" to either sex.

Certainly not a CD, my life runs much deeper than a mere interest in clothing.

I guess I am none of the above, I am myself.

What are you thinking? What are you feeling right now? That's who you are.

I will venture one step further and say I am NOT my body either. I view my body as an "encounter suit", something to experience "Earthly Life" with.

Don't ya just love the mystery?

[Teri Jean]

Dang girl you ask such thought provoking questions.LOL Okay I am going to put all my thought processes into this answer. I have to say PAM. Girl you are Pam as I am Teri and yes our experiances go well beyond our young age but we are who we are. Hugs sis. Teri

[Kaitlyn Michele]

This is a neat question and it might help to remember that pretty much everyone can ask this question of themselves...look at meri's answer...or perhaps its simple and ignorance is bliss...

..college professors make a living asking, writing and thinking about this question..
i prefer to think of it as I am the sum of my parts.....physical, mental, emotional, past, present and future...all rolled into one

it might sound obvious, but for me its the obvious answer...and the best part of it is that nobody can tell me its the wrong answer because i know my answer..and you know yours and my wish for everybody is that in the end, you know and love yourself.

[CharleneT]

This is a neat question and it might help to remember that pretty much everyone can ask this question of themselves...look at meri's answer...or perhaps its simple and ignorance is bliss...

..college professors make a living asking, writing and thinking about this question..
i prefer to think of it as I am the sum of my parts.....physical, mental, emotional, past, present and future...all rolled into one

it might sound obvious, but for me its the obvious answer...and the best part of it is that nobody can tell me its the wrong answer because i know my answer..and you know yours and my wish for everybody is that in the end, you know and love yourself.

GREAT answer !! I really like the sum of the parts, I am definitely my past and present all rolled up into one (sometimes) classy gal ;-)

[viviane]

I would answer the question, as Pam. I'm in the process of change. I really don't like the term transition because if you always thought of yourself as Pam(Maybe there was no name for her at the time), it is not a transition but a realization.

The old memories I consider to be your memories, even if you looked different it is still the same. So, in being Pam, you the past will help mold you now.

It might not sound logical to most, but you are yourself, is what is. :)

Vivianne

[suzy1]

Personally I just “go with the flow” as they say. It’s a question that just would not bother me. I’m too busy having fun and that’s what we are here for. Dose it really matter or am I just too shallow to understand. You can say I’m shallow by the way. I would take it as a complement

Just having fun SUZY

[Staciej]

Girl You are who you wan't to be yes he's there like a bad x-boyfriend you don't wan't back in you'r life. As long as you find new friends to share Pam with you will be ok. To many T's try erasing the male out of there life's. By doing that you make yourself depresed so don't worry about his life his life is her's too after all. Share her with old friend's and new ones true friends are there to the end.

[Bree-asaurus]

Girl You are who you wan't to be yes he's there like a bad x-boyfriend you don't wan't back in you'r life. As long as you find new friends to share Pam with you will be ok. To many T's try erasing the male out of there life's. By doing that you make yourself depresed so don't worry about his life his life is her's too after all. Share her with old friend's and new ones true friends are there to the end.

There is this girl on YouTube who I've been following (she has a video blog about her transition) and she made a video I really liked where she talked about how just because she is really a girl doesn't mean she can't still enjoy things that aren't stereotypically girly. She talked about other girls who, after transitioning, would stop doing anything remotely masculine and do only feminine things (such as quit their high paying job and work in a nail salon) because they were trying to erase the male (as you put it). She still plays video games and apparently people asked her why she played video games if she was a girl.

I can relate because there are things that I like to do that typically only men do, such as work on cars. I'm not going to stop working on cars just because I need to present a girly girl image. I need to be who I am, not stereotype myself and confine myself to a different role. There are women that work on cars too. There's a whole spectrum of people and to confine someone to being either a manly man or a girly girl isn't right at all.

[Staciej]

I have a cousin who is also a T and shes all about they have to call me by my female name, I wear dresses and higheels only, Make-up and she checks that 20x in a single dinner setting, Her mom accepts her transition but said can't call her by her female name just yet she only knows her as her son.

She says im not a T cause I wear jeans and t's (all girl) guess she never herd of a tom-boy before. I hardly wear make-up!! I said well more girls don't wear make up so visable. Make-up is about not shinning it supose to be worn thin it's not 80's. If my mother acepted me what im doing in my life I wouldn't care if she did call me by my real name. Rather be accepted for who I am then dissowned thats for sure. =(

I play Games I love Call Of Duty modren warfare 2 , Gow of war , Assasins creed to name a few. I own a ps3,360,wii,psp,dsi,ds and library of 100+ games. I watch wwe and tna wrestling. I love sports of all kinds does those make me any less female? And Btw my wife also enjoys theses things if not more then me. ( if shes asked she will tell anyone were a lesbian couple get over it) just saying don't get held up on stereotypes not every women is girly girl and not every guy is a pig. ( just most are ) So dont ever say women do this not that cause no one is just a like.

[Jessinthesprings]

you are you. try as we may we will never be that woman (or man) we feel on the inside. We will never get to experiance the joys of being a little girl, or the mix of emotions as that girl starts to become a woman. We will never have that first kiss or get to wear that pretty dress at prom. These experiances have been robbed from us by a cruel twist of fate.

but... In a way we will live a richer life than most people. We are free of the narrow construct of gender and sex. We have a unique insight into what it's like to be a man and a woman. Something both sexes wish they could "understand" the other sex.

So... Without him there is no Pam and without Pam there is no him. Neither is compleate without the other, and so you are you. Nothing more, nothing less.