Random thoughts

[katieblush]

Hi all,ok so i have made steps to be out in public more as me, female jeans tops make-up and surprisingly no one has said anything to me,i get the odd stare,i feel a little awkward as i do need a wig,and lots of cosmetic surgery :heehee:but i still feel better and getting stronger every week.

This time of waiting for a gender clinic appointment is driving me to some deep depression only for a day maybe two,i really need to know if i am going to go forward,nearly all of my immediate problems have been sorted, family(gone to the wall) friends (vanished) wife has gone from grief to support bless her heart i owe her a lot.

Poverty this really bugs me as i could be advancing with leaps and bounds,dam being poor it hurts.

I have joined a trans social group and will be participating in the next month,from lone wolf into the wolf pack now i have to learn a whole new set of rules,good job were on the same side,so anyway that has been this month. :)

[CharleneT]

Hang in there ... appt soon I hope ?

As for going out, as even the CD's will tell you; it turns out most folks just don't care how you appear. That can be a very freeing thing !! Eventually, as you do it more, you will get some comments - both good and bad. Try to enjoy the good and ignore the bad. Also learn to be more careful in where you go, when you do it and who might be around. Unfortunately there are folks out there who react very badly when they encounter TG people. If you are going out as a woman, you are going to have to start to develop a radar for trouble.

[sherri52]

Hi Katie: I'm glad your getting out more and agually happy that your wife is now supportive.

[katieblush]

Hang in there ... appt soon I hope ?

As for going out, as even the CD's will tell you; it turns out most folks just don't care how you appear. That can be a very freeing thing !! Eventually, as you do it more, you will get some comments - both good and bad. Try to enjoy the good and ignore the bad. Also learn to be more careful in where you go, when you do it and who might be around. Unfortunately there are folks out there who react very badly when they encounter TG people. If you are going out as a woman, you are going to have to start to develop a radar for trouble.

Charlene hi,thank you for your words of wisdom,its going to be a bumpy ride but the time is right for me i can feel it.
As for the people who like to try to destroy you i met some the other day, 1,male 1,female decided to have a good laugh at me,embarrassing but i ignored it and started a conversation with this 85 year old lady, this was in the GPs surgery wow great women we got on really well,so i will try to take any positive out of future situations. :hugs:


Hi Katie: I'm glad your getting out more and agually happy that your wife is now supportive.

Hi sherri thank you,long way to go yet :hugs:

[Aubrey Green]

Katie, you are showing great strength, keep your head up girl. You are doing fantastic.

[luvSophia]

Hi Katie. Don't get too stressed out over the wait for your appointment. You are going to find that there is going to be a lot of hurry up and wait, just the way things work. And like Charlene said, most people are simply not going to care. Don't let the very few that react poorly grind you down too much.

[Chari]

Katie, Please, always be comfortable and confident in who you are and what you do, as it is YOUR life! Plan afew advance things in your mind as to what you would like to wear, favorite colors, something new to try in makeup, nail polish, etc, as this will help pass the waiting time. Consider your feminine strengths, and your areas in need of improvement (we all have them), but most of all, be you and enjoy something in every day!

[katieblush]

Aubery,thank you for your kindness *bye*


Hi Katie. Don't get too stressed out over the wait for your appointment. You are going to find that there is going to be a lot of hurry up and wait, just the way things work. And like Charlene said, most people are simply not going to care. Don't let the very few that react poorly grind you down too much.


Hi Sophia,you are right i will try harder to be patient :) thank you *bye*


Katie, Please, always be comfortable and confident in who you are and what you do, as it is YOUR life! Plan afew advance things in your mind as to what you would like to wear, favorite colors, something new to try in makeup, nail polish, etc, as this will help pass the waiting time. Consider your feminine strengths, and your areas in need of improvement (we all have them), but most of all, be you and enjoy something in every day!

Positive words Chari,thanks very much :)

[Arianna Aine]

Hi all,ok so i have made steps to be out in public more as me, female jeans tops make-up and surprisingly no one has said anything to me,i get the odd stare,i feel a little awkward as i do need a wig,and lots of cosmetic surgery :heehee:but i still feel better and getting stronger every week.

ugh paint me jealous. i can't even go out in public in a skirt :doh: ...stupid SAD. at least i keep my body language and speech up (i don't think i could stop anyway :heehee: i so girly...)

er.... :blah: what i mean to say is go you!! :hugs: and enjoy those odd stares! each one you get is another person more insecure with themself than you are ^_^

[katieblush]

ugh paint me jealous. i can't even go out in public in a skirt :doh: ...stupid SAD. at least i keep my body language and speech up (i don't think i could stop anyway :heehee: i so girly...)

er.... :blah: what i mean to say is go you!! :hugs: and enjoy those odd stares! each one you get is another person more insecure with themself than you are ^_^

Arianna :heehee:you have a cool way with words,you cast your heart out i respect that :hugs:

[Arianna Aine]

Arianna :heehee:you have a cool way with words,you cast your heart out i respect that :hugs:

hehe it only gets me into trouble often :heehee:

anyway, thanks! ^_^

[DanteDonovan]

I hear ya on the lack of money. I mean, I would have enough right now for doctor and start on T...buuuut it gets spent on my cosplay and conventions XD I do plan on getting it by fall though.

As for stares and weird looks, I completely understand. Though I may be FTM, and so wearing pants 24/7 is seen as "normal", I still always got the stares. I grew up liking art, design, as well as goth/industrial. So, just walking around in my clothes with chains, chokers, leather or vinyl. I got the stares.

So, I would just offer this advice. It is hard at times, but try not to take it personal. A lot of people aren't used to being exposed to things like the outfits, or GBLT. They know it exists, but don't know how to handle it once it's right there in front of them. Some are acting on how they were raised. Some might just always be mean because of who they are, but that's them. They have nothing to do with who you are, and are happy with. So, don't let them slow you down and lose confidence.

Just remember that you know something they don't. True freedom. You are being true to yourself, in the risk of loved ones disappearing. At the risk of being shunned. But you perservere because you value yourself above what strangers think, and that no matter what happens, you will ALWAYS go out in being true to yourself and what you stand for.

[katieblush]

Thank you so much for that Dante,wow you really express your thoughts well :hugs: *bye*

[Bree-asaurus]

ugh paint me jealous. i can't even go out in public in a skirt :doh: ...stupid SAD. at least i keep my body language and speech up (i don't think i could stop anyway :heehee: i so girly...)

er.... :blah: what i mean to say is go you!! :hugs: and enjoy those odd stares! each one you get is another person more insecure with themself than you are ^_^

I haven't gone out dressed, partially dressed or anything. I have been slowly acting more like myself in public though, and I'm having to get used to the staring and pointing. Last night I was at a mexican restaurant with a gay friend and five people at the table RIGHT next to us kept pointing and talking about us. :brolleyes: