Are you gay?

[Barbara Dugan]

Sorry I am not asking , it is what my doctor asked me this morning.
I answered yes and told her I am a cross dresser too.
We talked a little bit on gender,depression and safe sex issues she even mentioned counseling. It is the first time that I answer yes when someone that knows me ask me about it.
I think I've becoming kind of easy read maybe the shaved arms trimmed brows and mannerism are too obvious, I know is a very small step and I am not sure if I am ready to be completely out but sure feels good talk with someone about it:hugs:

[Miranda09]

It's good to know you have someone like your doctor to talk to who will keep everything confidential. Takes some of the stress off. :)

[LaneyJane]

It is always good to have an open and honest relationship with the Doc. Good for you Girl!
Laney

[meri]

OK,
Here's comfort for you, I am taking a spiritual awareness class and the instructor said that people who are gay, and/or TG, etc, are signs that they are near the end of their personal reincarnation cycle, that is, they are "old" souls.

[sherri52]

Barbara you did the right thing telling your doctor. Pertaining to a doctor honesty is the best policy and you can be treated better when the doctor knows everything. The good thing is they can't tell anyone, doctor/patient confidentiality.

[Jessica Who]

Good for you Barbara :D

[IamSara]

Barbara
I am glad you are able to open up to your doc. I wish I had that ability to open up to mine but he would never get it. He would say I was a kook and needed a shrink.
You go girl and keep it up.
Sarah :rose2:

[NathalieX66]

One less skeleton in the closet. One less fact to hide. Cheers to ya!:beer:

I hope your doc is of the smart & understanding crowd, which sounds like he. is

[Karinsamatha]

That is fantastic. as was said above one less secret! :)

[docrobbysherry]

I wonder if I could tell MY doctor that?:brolleyes:

[Barbara Dugan]

thanks everyone thinking about it I was not that hard and indeed it feel like you take some weight of your shoulders:hugs:

[Bobbie Bee]

Wow, congratulations Barbara, I bet you feel better now.

[eluuzion]

I've always found it curious how many of us are calling 911 in seconds when dealing with a bodily injury, but torture ourselves for months and years before seeking help with the mind. Our mind is just another part like a leg or an arm. Sometimes it requires assistance from an expert to help us get the wheels back on the track. It is nothing to fear or be embarassed about. Doctors are just high paid "mechanics", that work on humans instead of vehicles. lol

Glad to hear you are seeking some help. These people spend years preparing the expertise to help us...we may as well use them and help payback their education loans...lol

[flaman07]

Well Barb.. I think you look great!

[Rachel2000]

OK,
Here's comfort for you, I am taking a spiritual awareness class and the instructor said that people who are gay, and/or TG, etc, are signs that they are near the end of their personal reincarnation cycle, that is, they are "old" souls.

This is kind of intriguing to me. I've been told by more than one physic that I am an old soul and every one of them told me that I am a master of disguise lol - if only they knew, or maybe they did? Anyway, this is the first time I've heard of any correlation between TG's and old souls - interesting.

[Alice Torn]

My hat is off to you! By the way, I love your avatar and the dress! I told my elderly dad, that i have to take meds for an emotional illness, and, he found out my older brother in prison, is now on meds, My dad thinks it is disgraceful, sadly. If i ever told him about my dressing, that would really be bad, but, i have a feeling he may have tried it, too, since my mom is in a nursing home with Alzheimer's. Thank God, for doctors, and people we can be honest with, yet accepted, whether they are like us, or not. It's sad, that men can get drunk, and use filthy language in public, like at ballgames, and it is considered normal, but a cd who is read, is considered a deviant, even when behaving courteously!

[Imogen_Mann]

My GP has alluded to it a few times, I think to test the water when noticing the sudden lack of body hair (I was there to talk about the use of exfoliant and epilation on weak skin), the clear gloss nails and (at the time) the sudden weight loss as I dieted (successfully for once) towards a more attractive weight... But she did not ask outright.

I managed to talk to her on the level anyway,and am thankful I have a female GP. I'm not sure I could have spoken to the male doctors so easily on one or two delicate subjects.


OK,
Here's comfort for you, I am taking a spiritual awareness class and the instructor said that people who are gay, and/or TG, etc, are signs that they are near the end of their personal reincarnation cycle, that is, they are "old" souls.

Did they tell you why that is ? I'd be interested to know ?

[carhill2mn]

Your answer is interesting. It has been my experience that there are not many CDs who are also gay. I did know one and she was delightful.

[Lorileah]

I guess the thing that concerns me how the leap was made from either gay to CD or vice versa. I will just assume that there is a lot more to the story here that led to the question. My doctor phased it a lot differently, more open ended. She asked "do you prefer men?" (never one to miss an opportunity to be a smart...well you know I said depends on how they are cooked, cannibal humor is wasted on MD's). The best part is that your doctor got to the point they wanted to get to and they actually took the time to talk to you about some very important issues even if they aren't (or shouldn't be) limited to being gay, your health and safety. I think it is great that she spent the time with you instead of just brushing you off.

pS I had to look to see where you are because I thought we had the same doctor for a bit there :)

[Andy66]

I would be annoyed if a doctor asked me that, unless being gay were relevant to the medical condition I was seeking treatment for.

...Well, I might answer if the doctor was hot. ;) :heehee:

By the way, Barbara, I like your new avatar picture. You're very pretty.

[Chris100]

I think you look great too, Barbara!

:daydreaming:

Chris x

[Barbara Dugan]

I guess the thing that concerns me how the leap was made from either gay to CD or vice versa. I will just assume that there is a lot more to the story here that led to the question. My doctor phased it a lot differently, more open ended. She asked "do you prefer men?" (never one to miss an opportunity to be a smart...well you know I said depends on how they are cooked, cannibal humor is wasted on MD's). The best part is that your doctor got to the point they wanted to get to and they actually took the time to talk to you about some very important issues even if they aren't (or shouldn't be) limited to being gay, your health and safety. I think it is great that she spent the time with you instead of just brushing you off.

pS I had to look to see where you are because I thought we had the same doctor for a bit there :)

I think she had the concern because of the risk of one prescribed medication and the use of amyl nitrate which by the way I don't use.
She asked me if I ever had depression issues or suicidal thoughts, I told her yes I used to have because of the sexual orientation and gender confusion issues but not recently that I've beginning to understand myself better but she suggested counseling if I wanted it.:hugs:

[The_Juggler]

Maybe I'm way off base here, but I feel like gay and crossdresser are mutually exclusive.

I am not gay - thought I was for a long time - but realized that being gay was about liking men. I used to think that because I had a thing for women's clothing that certainly meant that I was also gay, but then I realized that I don't like men at all in that way.

Well the best of luck with both of your "conditions"
What is it they say - above all, to thine own self be true.

[Lorileah]

Maybe I'm way off base here, but I feel like gay and crossdresser are mutually exclusive.



not exclusive but also not really related. you can be either or you can be both. there are no rules here

[JenniferR771]

Its the law. Doctors cannot say anything--except under special circumstances. Mine know, I told him. Dentists, too, I told mine.
http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/patient-confidentiality

[Annaliese2010]

...I answered yes and told her I am a cross dresser too....becoming kind of easy read maybe the shaved arms trimmed brows and mannerism are too obvious...

Hi Barbara.

Qeustion: Regardless of the clothes you wear, male or fem, or your shaving preferences or how pretty you can make yourself to look, and as well regardless of your mannerisms, would you say inside your mind you have the sense of yourself as more male than female; more female then male; about 50:50 or is this a stupid question? Thnx.

[IamSara]

not exclusive but also not really related. you can be either or you can be both. there are no rules here

I couldn't agree more. I am bi but that doesn't mean I am automatically a crossdresser. I relate and love to feel like a woman but am also attracted to men and women.
Sarah :rose2:

[Barbara Dugan]

Hi Barbara.

Qeustion: Regardless of the clothes you wear, male or fem, or your shaving preferences or how pretty you can make yourself to look, and as well regardless of your mannerisms, would you say inside your mind you have the sense of yourself as more male than female; more female then male; about 50:50 or is this a stupid question? Thnx.


That is a good question Annalise..I used to think I was male but different I used to think I was just being myself I always thought something was missing I never feel complete ,I was completly Asexual its hard to explain like you are being told you are male but you dont feel like one but at the same time you dont feel like a woman trapped on a mans body.
Since I started dressing things look and feel diferent like life has more sense to me I feel comfortable and happy when I dress I even embrace sexuality when I dress but still for some reason I know I have to return to be a male.
so I guess at this moment I would say 50:50:hugs:

[Veronica Nowakowski]

If I'm a woman, then yes.

[wendy68]

Way to go Barbara! Congratulations!:)

[Byanca]

This is a little similar to me. I tend to find women more attractive in most every way. But the breeding aspect it seems I'd prefer a man to take care off. I'm passive. So wouldn't call myself gay, but maybe 'other'. And I would not like to change roles. I'd prefer the man to be the man. I presume I'm quite TS since I have this aspect, it's not just the gender it seems.

But I wouldn't want to have sex with a man if I didn't pretty myself up, and I felt like a woman. That's the secret...and the complexity part.

[Nicole Erin]

Well Barb, as you know, us MTF TG folks tend to have a harder time dating GG's since most GG's don't go much for a femme male.

YOU on the other hand, like men, and most men are attracted to femininity. THAT means, well, Girl, you go get you some! :thumbsup:

And also, it is cool, us TG folks don't judge someone's sexual preference. Honestly, with my TG friends, I usually have to ask several times if they like men or women.

Hey I envy you, a MTF who prefers men will have better luck dating than a MTF who likes women.

Now, time to find you a man and get your groove on sis. ;)

[gabimartini]

I know is a very small step

Small step? Come on, it's a HUGE step! For you to be able to share this with somebody else, even if it's your doctor, is a big thing! It means you have decided to accept yourself as you are, which is usually the biggest challenge.

Good for you and congratulations!

[ellenwannabe]

am I gay? - I've never had any type of encounter with another man but when enfemme in public like it when a man gives me a look - I even went on a gay dating site for awhile and talked to other guys and once was going to meet one but he never showed up - so I am married and wife doesn't like the CDing but I guess I can't say I'm gay either, maybe bi-curious - I've been an RN all my life and feel more comfortable with a group of women than with a group of men - maybe I need to talk to a psychologist - Ellen

[Laura_Stephens]

Its the law. Doctors cannot say anything--except under special circumstances. Mine know, I told him. Dentists, too, I told mine.
http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/patient-confidentiality

That used to be true. The stimulus bill passed and signed in late 2008 has provisions such that every medical provider has to submit all medical records to the Federal Government even if the government didn't pay for your visit. Even if you pay by cash, a record of your visit will be transmitted to the Feds.

BTW, the government is worse at protecting confidential information than any business there is.

[Jenny Doolittle]

OK,
Here's comfort for you, I am taking a spiritual awareness class and the instructor said that people who are gay, and/or TG, etc, are signs that they are near the end of their personal reincarnation cycle, that is, they are "old" souls.

Merc,

I am a little disheartened to think I am at the end of my life cycle. Sad to think that after you have been brave enough to expose your true self that life is over.:love:

[Sharon B.]

Sounds to me like they are putting everybody in one group, I don't have any hair on my arms but doesn't make me gay. Yes I do keep my eye brows neat and trim but I prefer them way, that doesn't make gay either.
I would probably get upset if someone asked that.

[Lorileah]

That used to be true. The stimulus bill passed and signed in late 2008 has provisions such that every medical provider has to submit all medical records to the Federal Government even if the government didn't pay for your visit. Even if you pay by cash, a record of your visit will be transmitted to the Feds.

BTW, the government is worse at protecting confidential information than any business there is.

nothing changes in HIPPA none of your information will be made public. The data base will be used to research trends and diseases but personal information will not be available. C'mon people quit looking for boogie men in every freakin' corner. Besides it doesn't even go into effect until 2014. and as far as that last statement, you better have some proof besides Fox news. Private companies are compromised daily. :brolleyes:

[Ruth]

I think the doc can ask the question if, and only if, the answer is relevant to your presenting medical condition and treatment.
Otherwise, regardless of shaven legs, plucked brows, painted nails, whatever, it's an intrusive and irrelevant question (and a competent practitioner should not make the illogical leap between personal appearance and sexual orientation).

[Frédérique]

We talked a little bit on gender,depression and safe sex issues she even mentioned counseling.

Pardon me for asking, but what do you need counseling for?


Here's comfort for you, I am taking a spiritual awareness class and the instructor said that people who are gay, and/or TG, etc, are signs that they are near the end of their personal reincarnation cycle, that is, they are "old" souls.

This is only comforting if you believe in the concepts of spirit, reincarnation, and “soul,” all human inventions (for the purposes of comfort). As far as I’m concerned it’s three strikes, but I never wanted to play that game in the first place…

[Barbara Dugan]

Pardon me for asking, but what do you need counseling for?



This is only comforting if you believe in the concepts of spirit, reincarnation, and “soul,” all human inventions (for the purposes of comfort). As far as I’m concerned it’s three strikes, but I never wanted to play that game in the first place…

For the depression and suicidal thoughts that I had before... just in case I need help on those issues

[SuzanneS]

Its the law. Doctors cannot say anything--except under special circumstances. Mine know, I told him. Dentists, too, I told mine.
http://www.healthline.com/galecontent/patient-confidentiality
Although I don't disagree....doctors, dentists, and yes, even lawyers are all human beings....I'd be hard pressed to believe that not a single on of them ever told someone else something that was told to them in confidence. Just sayin' :eek:

[gennee]

It's a big step you took, Barbara. I'm sure that you feel more at ease with yourself. Congrats to you.

Gennee

:hugs:

[Karen564]

Hey Barb, Good for you! :thumbsup:

I bet that hurt far less than you imagined...
:hugs:

As for...


I think the doc can ask the question if, and only if, the answer is relevant to your presenting medical condition and treatment.
Otherwise, regardless of shaven legs, plucked brows, painted nails, whatever, it's an intrusive and irrelevant question (and a competent practitioner should not make the illogical leap between personal appearance and sexual orientation).

A doctor doesn't have the time to play 50 questions with every patient, so he asked are you gay? It's a simple yes or no answer, he could care less if you CD or not, so he gets right to the point, a gay lifestyle, which can have a bearing on a persons health, so it's not unethical or incompetence for a personal physician to ask this question if he saw signs of feminine grooming or behavior, because doctors know many patients will not freely disclose this on their own..(as in you feel it's intrusive) The doctor is Not judging you for what you do, their only doing their job, which is looking after your health..
It certainly wouldn't be irevilent if he found out you had HIV in the early stages because of a screening after that visit..




That used to be true. The stimulus bill passed and signed in late 2008 has provisions such that every medical provider has to submit all medical records to the Federal Government even if the government didn't pay for your visit. Even if you pay by cash, a record of your visit will be transmitted to the Feds.

I'm still reading about what exactly this bill has done in regards to HIPAA, but from what I read so far, it's actually far scarier than what your saying, besides changing part of the HIPAA Law, but also some things in that which concern me, even as a soon to be medical professional...... although also read that we still have control of the release of information (but that could be a dammed if you do, dammed if you don't thing).......Except for the Data they use for statical reasons as Lori stated...I see no harm in Data which doesn't name the patient..
They say it will streamline the current system and benefit the consumer (patient) in safety & lower cost.....Hmmmm, that remains to be seen...

But overall, from what I see this bill did, it will create a total mess & lots of confussion....and another example of what happens when the Govt. put their nose where it doesn't belong..


:drink::hugs: