Acceptance

[pamela_a]

Everyone talks about acceptance and most (everyone) strives for it in one manner or another, but what is it?

There are several dictionary definitons but I think the one that fits our situation is: favorable reception; approval; favor.

It can be pretty obvious when we're not accepted, but how can you tell when you are?
I was thinking about this today, how in the last few months I've felt more and more accepted by the women around me. I'm basing this mostly on their interaction with me. Recently I've had more conversatons with women I knew, and some I've just met, about things I don't ever recall discussing before. Topics have ranged from how horrible men are (husbands, boyfriends, and men in general) to biological functions I'll personally never experience, and everything inbetween. I've also noticed if I happen to enter the middle of a conversation between several female friends neither the topic nor the tone of the conversation changes.
To some extent it may be wishful thinking on my part but I intrepet that as them having accepted me as a woman thus allowing me to be included in the "women only" conversatons.

What have people said or done to/about you that's made you feel you were accepted?

[Arianna Aine]

pretty much the only time i ever feel accepted for who i am is with my girl friends. ever since i came out (and even before i started transitioning) i've been one of the girls to them....yeah, they are awesome. there is an lgbt group on campus (that i just got back from, actually) that is also pretty nice...

too often outside of those two places i am either directly discluded/labeled/outcast/whatever, or am so paranoid that i take small gestures, that i logically know could have nothing to do with it, into signs that people are simply refusing to see me.

but i'm silly like that.

[luvSophia]

I did a girl's night in yesterday evening with a friend of mine from where I used to work, her mother and her daughter. The conversation ranged from scouring the thrift stores for great finds in purses, to who her daughter had been kissing, to ranting about ex-husbands and their new girl friends.:heehee: I didn't have much to contribute to that other than I had not seen either of my ex's for years. All in all it was just three women chatting over coffee. I am pretty sure that we wouldn't have been talking about any of those topics had I been there in my previous incarnation. As a matter of fact, I'm fairly certain I would not have been there in the first place.

[Teri Jean]

Hi Pam, you have a point in we all have those who "tolerate" our being in their midst and those who for whatever reason do not. Then we have those who in your words seem to accept not so much by what they say but what they don't say. Point in case; two of the clericals were having a conversation when I stopped into their office and they were discussing clothing. The conversation was about bras and which ones feel the best and fits the best. Now 6 months ago the conversation would have stopped when I came in but this time they asked if I had time to talk. So I sat down and joined in. We discussed size, fit, style, and how to be sure you have the correct size.

Is that acceptance or is it curiousity? Maybe both. They want to know if I am knowledgeable and if so what is my point of view on a common topic all women discuss from time to time. Just yesterday one of the same two noticed I had forgot to put my earrings in before I left for work and offered me her spare set. Hense another discussion of having a pill box for spares at work.

I guess the point is you are going to get the curtious smile but then you are going to be drawn into a conversation or activity that men do not. I say that is the biggest form of flattery and acceptance. Hugs sis.

Teri

[sherri52]

I find like yourself that the women around me don't change thier tones or topics when I enter into the conversation. I don't think they accept me as a woman but more like someone that is not a "mach man". I am accepted for who I am which is a man with feeling when in drab and a woman when dressed.

[Karen564]

What have people said or done to/about you that's made you feel you were accepted?

Many things, and sometimes it's what's not said that also makes me feel accepted too, but what Really feels great is never being excluded from girl talk no matter what the topic is, (and we do talk about everything :heehee:) and being referred to properly in the conversation as she & her, as in; SHE said , or when I add to the discussion, someone says; I agree with HER...

It's just music to my ears when I hear it every time for the time being, but I'm sure in time, I won't even give it a second thought...

And last night at school, getting checked out in the hallway by the guy's from the IT class next to mine sure did give me a huge boost to my confidence & feeling of acceptance..
But as a dear friend of mine told me later, it was just because of the Cami top I was wearing that grabbed their attention...:heehee:

[Nigella]

Acceptance can be measured in many ways, but really who is doing the accepting. We may be accepted by the GGs whom we work, associate or socialise with, but how many TGs are accepted by the GMs?

I don't particularly bother about acceptance or even tolerance, all I expect from people is the same respect that I give.

[Jessinthesprings]

I think you are right in the fact that you are gaining at least some measure of acceptance. After all I truly belive there is more to being a woman than clothes or even the body. LOL that probably goes without saying in this group.

Unfortunatly I have never had that experiance that I hope one day I will get to see, but i do get a special warm feeling when someon uses the proper pronoun/name. I am so happy for you.

[Teri Jean]

One of the many things I have discovered is when one chooses to exit the male kingdom it isn't that they don't respect or accept your decission it is more they have excluded you. Now the other camp may or may not accept you. So having said that if the women you work or socialize with accept you be greatful.

Teri

[Karen564]

Unfortunatly I have never had that experiance that I hope one day I will get to see, .

Don't worry Jess, you will in time.........:hugs: