Life Changed???

[AKAMichelle]

Everyone knows how scary it is to walk out that door dressed. Some of us have done it while others stay locked in the prison cell. We all seem to do our time, but then for some reason we begin to walk around the block dressed late at night, or take a late night drive while dressed. Each of us wants to lose the shackles of our inprisonment, but not all of us make it.

For those of us who have walked through those doors in utter fear, what changed in your life after that event. One small step can change your life - How did it change yours?

For me it helped me to conquer fears in other areas of my life. See I developed fear of failure after my business failed some years ago. I had never been fearful, but I got fearful after that in many other areas. After going out the door dressed, I learned that I could beat a lot of things. I was able to recover my business eventually. All my other fears have been going away one by one

[StaceyJane]

Overcomimg that fear really did free me.
I'm really beginning now to explore being Stacey.

[ninapuella]

One small step can change your life - How did it change yours?


One small step for man is a giant leap for a tgirl. :heehee:

I actually did this last weekend. I was home alone for the first time in two years and realized that I just had to go out dressed. It took a long time for me to finally go outside the door and leaving the apartement for the first time as a girl. Wow, what a feeling, really! The atmosphere was amazing and it felt so right.

To bad that the weather stopped me from going any further. My plan was to go around the block, but at that time it was icecold and lots of ice on the ground. Walking in highheels outside for the first time and then its lots of ice on the ground didnt feel so right. I just didnt want to fall and hurt myself in that sensitive situation. So i just was outside the door for some minuts and felt the air and the ground. :sad:

But I really liked those small steps. I felt like a new person and really want more of it.

[Bree-asaurus]

One small step for man is a giant leap for a tgirl. :heehee:

I actually did this last weekend. I was home alone for the first time in two years and realized that I just had to go out dressed. It took a long time for me to finally go outside the door and leaving the apartement for the first time as a girl. Wow, what a feeling, really! The atmosphere was amazing and it felt so right.

To bad that the weather stopped me from going any further. My plan was to go around the block, but at that time it was icecold and lots of ice on the ground. Walking in highheels outside for the first time and then its lots of ice on the ground didnt feel so right. I just didnt want to fall and hurt myself in that sensitive situation. So i just was outside the door for some minuts and felt the air and the ground. :sad:

But I really liked those small steps. I felt like a new person and really want more of it.

That's great, I kind of know how you feel. :-) I've been having the urge to go out... not just confine myself to this prison I call home. I've started going out in the back yard at night (around 2-4 in the morning) to let my dog do his business before I go to bed and while I doubt anyone is up at that hour, it still feels nice to be OUTSIDE. Maybe I'll find out my neighbor is a night owl or a nosey nancy this way :-P I still don't have the cajones to walk out the front door though...

[AKAMichelle]

I still don't have the cajones to walk out the front door though...

People don't bite. Most of the time people are too busy to even care. They mind their own business. They may laugh at home, but most of the time they are courteous. Even we don't pass very well, we still get a ma'am here and there.

[carhill2mn]

I didn't have such life changing experiences as you. I did, however, learn to really enjoy being able to be treated as a "lady".

[Carole Cross]

Going out fully dressed for the first time convinced me that I had to transition. I had almost made up my mind before then but was still worried about the reaction from the general public towards me presenting as female. After reading many posts on this site and finding a local TG support group, I plucked up enough courage to atend a New Years' Eve meeting. Since then I started to go out more and more and I am now just three weeks away from going full time and starting my RLE. :D

I have found that the majority of people do not even give you a second glance, so long as you dress appropriately and dress your age when out during the day, unless you want to draw attention to yourself.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Been there done that and got the t-shirt....

First for me I never had a fear nor did I feel that I had issues of guilt or any other negitive feelings about dressing...it simply was something I wanted to try and experience...like trying something new on and seeing if I liked it...so I did, saw that there was something within me I liked and simply accepted it and embraced it...the only problem I had in the begining was that I felt I need to improve my looks and style...so that led me on a fairly long learning curve...a journey of sorts and that journey was interesting to say the least...

Learning about and how to do make up...learning clothing styles etc...what size fot and what sizes didn't. But going along in this process also required me to push the envelope as well both literally as well as figuratively. I had to learn, to practice and to go forth and try new things...get my ears pierced, get pedicures and nails polished and go from makeovers and brow waxings...try on dresses in stores and jeans and shoes...and along the way I had to be honest...not only with me but with others...like SA's or people with whom my dressing intersected with...and I had to say those "OMG words"..."I crossdress". At first they came out slowly and with hesitation...but the more I said them the easier I got...and to my suprise I have not had one bad experiences...rather for those who I have uttered those words to have engaged in conversations with me about being a dresser, what it's like from my prespective as well as now being "one of the girls"...

So by being out, open and upfront about my little secret it has opened up a whole new world full of suprises and conversation of accpetance support and encouragement from the outside world...especially from GG's...

My wife and I went through some rough spots over it including a "somewhat "split" but our relationship and marriage survived and we're fine with it...

We've even decided to start a business geared towards crossdressers and transgenders...

So has my dressing changed my world??? hell yeah it has and I suspect it will never be what it was before I put on my first bra and dress...

Is it better??? I think so...I'm truer to me and who I am what & I am...and it's not that I wasn't confident before because I've always been confident but I'm much closer to being a complete whole and fucntioning person who jsut happens to be of a duel gender ...we all have this duel gender...I've jsut decided to acknowledge, accpet and validate my duel gender...and I strongly encourage you to do the same...you really might be suprised at is on the other side of the door when you open it into the outside world...

Just my humble opinion here girls...yours may vary!!!!

Best of luck to you all....

Steph

BTW It's been 2 years now as I write this that I first dressed....

[Rachel_Red]

Honestly I haven't walked out the door yet... getting very close... soon :D. On the upside my fiance is supporting me a ton so I don't feel as though I'm walking alone so in that regard I feel very blessed and lucky.

[Jessy]

I haven't made the step yet. I know it's gonna be hard, but I really want to. Like I say in my signature, I want her to be out of the prison cell and see the world.

Although I haven't really made the step, I mentioned a couple of times that 1 time I went to a costume party dressed up. It was a good excuse because noone stares or casts you out there. But inside I felt happy I did it, it felt good to be out. And while I'm normally very silent, shy, and scared to even move at all, things seemed to go more smoothly that time. I can't really explain it, I guess it was just the feeling of being complete, and being myself.

Still got a lot to do before really ready though. Gotta work on my make-up techniques (sometimes hard with noone to teach me), my moves, and most of all my voice. Can't seem to get it right.
But I hope to find someone, a real life friend, that could support me in all this. That would make a huge difference for me.

[minalost]

Can't wait to do it again!
:hugs:

[AllieSF]

Two things changed me forever regarding crossdressing. The first was the first time I fully dressed with some else who helped me with my makeup, etc. When I finally looked in that little handheld mirror, I got a smile on my face from ear to ear that stayed with me the rest of the day. I couldn't believe my eyes that I had transformed so much into a almost passable woman. The second thing that sealed the deal, so to speak, was my first time out. Of course, I was nervous, but not really scared. Once we got to a place where we could talk and just be ourselves I began to shine. I was definitely hooked.

As another current thread here states, that going out is not for everyone because of fear or just no interest to go out into the big real world. I respect their desires. However, if you really do want to go out, just do it, when you are ready. Pick a venue that you think that you will be comfortable with, dress appropriately so as not to draw too much attention to yourself on your first time out, get someone to go with who has been out before if you can and then do it. It may take a few times for the fear to ease and for you to feel comfortable outside your comfort zone, but if you enjoy it, you will ask yourself why it took so long to do it in the first place! Good luck and enjoy life, not someone else's, but yours!

[Billijo49504]

The first time a SA treats you as just another woman, is awsome. Guys open doors for you, it's a rush. Today I was to Dot's and Lane Bryant. "Can I set up a room for you?" Will floor you the first time it happens...BJ

[Loni]

no life changing event here, but i did find out the two ladies i "bumped" into did not bit me, or run away screaming freak...

it can be a great life.

loni

[Faith_G]

Going out the door destroyed my best excuses for not transitioning. Ooops. :happy:

[sherri52]

I never had a fear of dressing other than being caught by my father as a child. Luckily that didn't happen. Going out has always been great and if I've learned anything at all, it's that going out I tend to be more aware of my suroundings. This ia also true when in drab due to my watching while enfemme. I notice exactly what someone is wearing yet before I started going out I barely knew who I passed on the street

[sissystephanie]

After 70 years of crossdressing, I can't say that I have any fear of dressing! But going out in public was not a favorite activity until I married. I told my late wife before we married and she totally accepted me. To the point that she took over fixing my wig and doing my makeup, well enough that I really was passable. When cancer took a few years ago I decided that I would no longer go out dressed, since I could not do the wig and makeup as she did.

Then I decided to try going out dressed, but without the wig and makeup! What a shock! Hardly anybody paid any attention to me, although I was totally enfemme! Now I go out most days totally dressed enfemme, but no makeup and no wig. Just a guy in feminine clothes, including skirts and dresses! And I do go everywhere that way! It has changed me!!

[danielle.cd]

the only thing that always stoped me from going out is i never seemed to have the right stuff to pass like the boobs or heels or womenly shoes, i hade nice panties and clothes but none of the other or a wig, so once i got made up and bought the right supplies it wasnt a problem to go out it was just now i need to go some where that dont know me cause even though i look different i know to many people in every store or place i go that know my voice or know to much about me. and i dont really want anyone i know to find out and then every one in my family would know and the snowball would start rolling and then i would basicaly be outed from one person finding out.
would it be that bad probably couse my family has made coments about others that they see on tv and my friends just would think im gay and thats not it at all, i like where im at know and i dont want to really get caught in town dressed so i dress and go out farther and that dont seem to bother me at all

[Karinsamatha]

I have gone out, and enjoyed it I have never felt so complete before. I feel I must chalenge myself to go further than a walk around the block or stoping to put gas in my car. I fully believe that my life has changed for the better. I also agree that most people don't notice or don't care as long as we look apropriate to the gender we are presenting.
just my :2c:

[Jessy]

Walking out the door is 1 thing, but what really scares me is communication. I'm sure that through practice, my looks will eventually make me pass. However my voice will be a different story.

[Bree-asaurus]

Walking out the door is 1 thing, but what really scares me is communication. I'm sure that through practice, my looks will eventually make me pass. However my voice will be a different story.

That can be changed with practice too! Check out some of the videos on Youtube... I've seen (heard) some amazing changes. But yeah... my voice is veeerry deep... I've thought about driving dressed and picking up fast food... would be interesting to see their reactions when I pull up, take the food and say "Thank you"

[Karinsamatha]

I agree with the voice thing but am working on it :)

[Jessy]

That's so evil, Brian :lol:
To be honest, it would be priceless pulling something like that off. And I'm crazy enough to do it as a joke, if I was at a much later stage of feeling comfortable going out.
Right now, the looks on their faces saying "Oh my gosh, it's a man!", or maybe even them saying out loud, is something I don't want to remember as a first experience out in the open.

I'm working hard on improving the looks so I might pass. Having it ruined by the voice is what I don't need. Maybe I'm too hard on myself, but still...

Here I go with my whole story... Sorry, didn't mean to hijack the topic...
Sorry!!

[JaytoJillian]

For those of us who have walked through those doors in utter fear, what changed in your life after that event. One small step can change your life - How did it change yours?

When I lived in Los Angeles some years ago, what had been a childhood curiosity mushroomed into something that I felt that I had to try. As I was living in West Hollywood, many aspects of TG culture were in my face on a daily basis. I can't quite recall the name of the store, but it was fairly large and it catered to men who dress en femme. I bought everything that I thought I'd need and brought the goods back to my place, got dressed and looked in the mirror. I was horrified and humbled. Within 5-10 minutes, everything was off, bagged and ready for the dumpster for my first and last purge.

Flash forward to uh, let's see, summer of 2006, I'm now living in a much more uptight area of the country, but the urge to try CDing hits me again. Remembering my previous attempt, I decided to learn from the past. I did a few hours of research on clothing and makeup before I went shopping. I came back home with everything that this time I KNEW I needed. This time when I looked in the mirror, I was pleasantly surprised. The fact that I thought I looked ok made me want to take my game public. As I was home alone for more than a month at that time, getting out would be simple. I googled clubs in the area that would most likely be accepting, and I left the house partially dressed and made up--found a dark street nearby and finished the job in the car. I hit one of the clubs on my list and danced the night away. During the course of the evening, everyone with whom I spoke was friendly and in some cases, flirty. Needless to say, I had a blast.

In summary, I'd say that first night out totally set the tone regarding my approach to CDing and how I feel about myself and this eccentric hobby. That outing paved the way for many more and I have generally been very well received by both men and women even though I know I don't pass for a genetic female. Instead of working toward an unattainable standard, I focus on presenting myself as someone who has put some effort into their appearance and someone who takes good care of themselves. And while the person closest to me sometimes calls me weird, ugly, crazy, etc, the genuine interaction I've had with complete strangers helps me take the negative stuff with a grain of salt and continue to accept and love myself.

Cheers,


Jill

[AKAMichelle]

It seems that one little decision caused us to change major things in our lives. I am glad to hear that I am alone about seeing one little event changing everything.

Keep those stories coming.

[Cathytg]

You have pretty well said what I would say. Once I crossed that line into the larger world I knew that I was capable of a great many things. I knew that I still as shy as ever and I had all the old fears, but I also learned that I can function through them all.