GG rejections making me feel like quitting!

[Alice Torn]

The latest painful rejection, by a beautiful GG, has got me thinking about why do i want to look like one of those beings, that so often is heartless in hurting me? I know i have lots of personal issues, and come from a super dysfunctional family, but, don't some of them have issues, too? I get hurt by a pretty woman, now, and I realize i have been almost worshipping them, and feel that men are sometimes cut to pieces, by a gg that is shallow and cold, making me want to be more manly , less wanting to dress like the being, that just rejected me. At least that's how i feel right now!

[AriannaVillota]

Deep breath. In and out. Repeat.

Only thing I can say is don't give up. There is someone out there for all of us, and it may not be the person you think it is. Perhaps that someone is under your nose. Just don't give up.

[Jessy]

I agree with Arianna.
I've been rejected by GG's all the time, but it made me doubt more about me as a male in life. Why do I still want to be a girl? Because I feel good being one. I feel myself. I feel complete.
I don't want to brag, but I know I am a good natured person. I haven't known a very happy life as a male out in the world, but I feel far more optimistic, lively, and joyful as a girl. That's why I look forward to the day I find enough courage to bring her out in the open, and show her the world.

[vivian76]

That's rough. I know exactly how you're feeling... having been there myself (more than once).

:2c: All I can offer you is that you'll feel better tomorrow, and the day after will be better too. And remember - no one is perfect. We each have our flaws and scars, our cute endearing qualities, and our annoying quirky ones too. You don't want to put people on pedestals, because inevitably they fall off. I've thought to myself too - why can't I just hide this part of me? The reason is that I want someone to accept *all* of me... and I don't think I can quit Vivian.

:hugs: Keep looking Louise.

Vivian.

[Shananigans]

Please don't just think of all GGs as shallow and cold because of the crappy women that you are meeting. I am guilty of swearing off men plenty of times, saying that I hate all of them. But, in the end I found a good guy. And, especially don't let the action of a few disrupt who you are and what you do. I'm really sorry that you are having a hard time, but know that we aren't all shallow and cold and there are plenty of women out there who want a man and have the same lamentations as you. I always tell people to change their "type." I always went for a certain type of guy...until I realized that type didn't work for me. So, one day I went and met a guy who was part of a fraternity...and I always SWORE to myself I'd never date a frat guy. Turns out, he's a perfect catch. And, he's not the meathead I had expected him to be...and, he wears my old clothes...haha.

[TxKimberly]

Not all women are like that, any more than all men are wife beaters and child abusers. I note that you point out that the pretty women are the ones hurting you. Have you asked yourself if you are choosing women based only on their looks? We all want the drop dead gorgeous beautys, don't get me wrong, but they often come with some pretty serious attitudes. Next time around, make very sure that you choose the woman for more than her looks and you might be pleasantly surprised.

[Karenmarie]

You will find her eventually. Just relax and enjoy yourself as much as
possible. A little advice....WHEN you do find her and you've been with
her for awhile.....please tell her before to many years go by....time
really flies.

lots of luck to you....you will be fine

Hugs

Karenmarie

P.S. You mentioned in your post that you were rejected by a "beautiful GG". Remember,
there are alot of GG's out there and guess what....THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL AND
THERE IS ONE FOR YOU.

[AmandaM]

I know it's tough. Especially when they are beautiful, or what you thought were nice people. But, all women are different. I've been rejected by the worst sort, beautiful and bowser. I've also been accepted by the cute and the plain. So, it just depends. Stick with it! You'll find someone! I did. And it just snuck up on me. I couldn't believe it. She's a former college cheerleader. And she picked me? Wow. And she's nice too. Y'see, when it's your time, she comes to you. You just have to relaxed enough about it to wait for her.

[txrobinm]

Someone's out there for you. I doubted, too, as my marriage is winding down, sometimes even thinking about giving up on everything. But I kept my ears and eyes open, and met someone the old-fashioned way, through a mutual friend, 5 weeks ago. We had the "I'm a crossdresser" conversation 2 weeks in after I'd heard several comments from her that she'd most likely be ok with it. Basically, we're REALLY compatible in every way, we've just been passing each other like ships in the night for about 12 years.

Things to listen for from your girlfriend that she'd be OK with you being CD:
**while walking past clothing store windows together, comment on something you think might look good on her, and see where the conversation goes (I was called a 'fashionista' the night we met)
**if she calls herself a (moderators, please let this pass, they are her own words) "fag hag". That's a woman who's often hanging out with/might like to be with a gay man, often at the expense of meeting hetero men.
**general acceptance of gays and lesbians
**she doesn't think your shaved legs are strange, and may actually enjoy them better that way

Relax, be yourself, there's someone out there for you!

[Jessy]

I remember one time, walking past a store with a GG friend. It's a long time ago, and in those days I didn't consider at all telling anyone yet.
We saw a really nice skirt and I commented in a very general way that it looked nice. I remember like it was yesterday, the way she looked at me and said how funny it would be seeing me wearing it :eek:
I was so shocked by her reaction, that I just walked away. Had I known better I would have played along, and seen what it would lead to. Idiot I am :heehee:

[Alice Torn]

Thanks to all of you, for all of your encouragment and support. TXKimberley, good advice. Looks should not be as important, as personality, depth, kindred spirits. Nice avatar, there! One article asked, "would you marry you?" As hard as ego hates to admit it, I don't think so. Not yet. But, maybe Louise!

[Shananigans]

I remember one time, walking past a store with a GG friend. It's a long time ago, and in those days I didn't consider at all telling anyone yet.
We saw a really nice skirt and I commented in a very general way that it looked nice. I remember like it was yesterday, the way she looked at me and said how funny it would be seeing me wearing it :eek:
I was so shocked by her reaction, that I just walked away. Had I known better I would have played along, and seen what it would lead to. Idiot I am :heehee:

My SO's ex-hookup type thing told him that she had a new corset that she thought would look good on him . She didn't know he was a CDer, but we speculate maybe she is turned on by guys en femme. But, imagine what a shock that was to him lol.

[Tanya C]

I think the worst thing you could do would be to temporarily suspend your crossdressing for the purpose of meeting a woman, and then resume your dressing somewhere down the road after your relationship has been solidified.
Stick with the honest and open approach, it is much more respectable.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

I've had a number of females not only be OK with my dressing but encourage it and support it..

So one bad experience??? Hah, write it off as being her issue and not mine!!!!

and simply say..."Next"!!!! and move on....

[CamilleLeon]

If anything, you should keep it up to spite those uptight bitc...female dogs...Don't let em put you down and do what you love...you'll find someone who can appreciate that and show you mutual respect and such

[Alice Torn]

To be real, I am in no situation, to have anything but platonic friendships, nothing serious, as i may have to move everything i own 2000 miles east soon, to be there when mom dies, and 89 yr old dad needs help, though he is extremely negative, and harsh. I never met the gal who rejected me , as she was on Facebook, had lots of friends, and rejected me from being friends, because i was negative and she said i was judging her. I did apologize, but, the damage done, and,"that's all she wrote!" It is hard to accept, that at 56, I still am not ready for a serious girlfriend, but it is true. As long as there's life, there's hope, I guess. Dressing is a very occasional thing for me, have not done it over a month, now. Been sick in bed for 16 days, miserable, and then a painful rejection. That's life. Being alone is not always bad. It would be nice to date sometimes, like i did back in my 30's. Maybe in my 60's!

[Nicole Erin]

I think one has to get to the point where they just don't give a rat's butt about GG's in a dating sense.

The pretty, good ones want to date douchebags, and who wants the unattractive ones?

GG's are good for friends but dating? hell with that.

I cannot say I know what older GG's are like. at my age, a 50 something is out of my age range.

Are there maybe any singles clubs? I know here in Indy, they are always advertising some Indy singles club.... what about your town?

[Melinda G]

I never met the gal who rejected me , as she was on Facebook, had lots of friends, and rejected me from being friends, because i was negative and she said i was judging her.
Geez. You're losing sleep over some chick on Facebook. Get a grip! How do you know that was her real photo? How do you know it was even a woman? I'm not trying to be hard on you, but you sound rather needy. And there are plenty of people on those internet sites looking to take advantage of you. You're setting yourself up for one problem after another. :eek:

[Alice Torn]

Good points Melinda. She is a lady, that really looks pretty, in a red dress photo, on a church site on FB. I had emailed a number of times, over about six months. She is a totally joyous lady, and to be truthful, was envious of her! She felt that i was attacking her, in posts. I sent apology, and i will not seek her anymore. We are in the same small religion/ Oh well, 60% of college grads are women. A part time working poor bloke like me, has nothing to offer, anyway. Cats are my family. I no longer "need" a wife anymore, and many of them no longer need a man, cd or not. Men aren't needed anymore, in this post modern era.

[Shananigans]

Good points Melinda. She is a lady, that really looks pretty, in a red dress photo, on a church site on FB. I had emailed a number of times, over about six months. She is a totally joyous lady, and to be truthful, was envious of her! She felt that i was attacking her, in posts. I sent apology, and i will not seek her anymore. We are in the same small religion/ Oh well, 60% of college grads are women. A part time working poor bloke like me, has nothing to offer, anyway. Cats are my family. I no longer "need" a wife anymore, and many of them no longer need a man, cd or not. Men aren't needed anymore, in this post modern era.

That may be somewhat true that men aren't needed. When women become more familiar with the Rabbit Habit, I fear for the worst. :heehee: Sorry...I just had to.

[Alice Torn]

Would that mean Volkswagen Rabbit? I never heard of that. Bugs Bunny?

[Nina (uk)]

Nice makeup treetop, you look like a proper gender cat.....

[Michelia]

Not all women are like that, any more than all men are wife beaters and child abusers. I note that you point out that the pretty women are the ones hurting you. Have you asked yourself if you are choosing women based only on their looks? We all want the drop dead gorgeous beautys, don't get me wrong, but they often come with some pretty serious attitudes. Next time around, make very sure that you choose the woman for more than her looks and you might be pleasantly surprised.

this quote by Kimberly could have been repeated be me.

There are definitely a lot of women out there. I know. I get asked out on dates by women that never would have looked at me in drab. Do you get out dressed? This is the best way by far to meet women that will accept you right off the bat. Recently I went to sewing lessons and made a great friend there who is a teacher. If I had not been married, I am sure other things would have happened...

I do have the best GG in the world and at first I thought I would not want to be with her. She is pretty, but she is big. It took me a while, and thank God I did, to realize before it was too late, I was being a fool.

[Shananigans]

Would that mean Volkswagen Rabbit? I never heard of that. Bugs Bunny?

It's a vibrator. And, it can be a woman's best friend.

[BRANDYJ]

I have been married to 2 different women that not only knew, but accepted my cross dressing. One passed away in 1984. My second wife knew and enjoyed my fem side until we divorced 5 years ago. My present girl friend not only knows and has since day one, but also was attracted to me partly because I am a CD!
Like others have said, not all women are like that. Don't give up on all women for the actions or experiences with a few. Perhaps you are attracted to the wrong kind of woman.

[Maria in heels]

Louise...there are all different people in life, and sometimes, we just don't seem to click with many at times. Now, it may be us, but in another sense, it is probably them! We do tend to look to the wrong type many times ( as Kimberly says ) and many times, it is more about "settling" and not going after the #1 thing that we see and think that we want.

I can tell you from experience, that the looks are definately not everything, neither is the "outgoing but fake personality" that we can be attracted to...many gg's are definately "toying" with us, making you jump thru hoops for no reason at all, and that is the shallow type of person that you are better off staying away from...

When I mention the word "settling" , I don't mean it literally in the negative sense..I mean that there are the 10's out there, but wouldn't an 8 be a better choice in the long run...? I've been thinking about this for years.......

[Susie Mae]

The latest painful rejection, by a beautiful GG, has got me thinking about why do i want to look like one of those beings, that so often is heartless in hurting me? I know i have lots of personal issues, and come from a super dysfunctional family, but, don't some of them have issues, too? I get hurt by a pretty woman, now, and I realize i have been almost worshipping them, and feel that men are sometimes cut to pieces, by a gg that is shallow and cold, making me want to be more manly , less wanting to dress like the being, that just rejected me. At least that's how i feel right now!
Like fishing, it only takes one successful catch, no matter how long it takes. I went through 7 years of rejection in one of the hippest, free-love places in the world, getting laughed at whenever I dropped my Levi's to reveal knickers and a girdle. Then a I met a woman who understood that I had been trained in a certain way, and that I would make a wonderful, totally controllable husband. My mother explained that to her the weekend before we got engaged.

Since it is impossible to turn off the need to cross dress, there is no point in giving it up and destroying your stash. Been there and done that--repeatedly. Just do the best you can to comfort yourself until a good woman comes along who can fit your needs into her life. Voila.

[Bailey_in_Mansfield]

The latest painful rejection, by a beautiful GG, has got me thinking about why do i want to look like one of those beings, that so often is heartless in hurting me? I know i have lots of personal issues, and come from a super dysfunctional family, but, don't some of them have issues, too? I get hurt by a pretty woman, now, and I realize i have been almost worshipping them, and feel that men are sometimes cut to pieces, by a gg that is shallow and cold, making me want to be more manly , less wanting to dress like the being, that just rejected me. At least that's how i feel right now!

Make her your motivation and your drive... Become the woman that she SHOULD have been!

[SuzanneBender]

Louise there are plenty of fish in the sea and you will find one trust me. When I met my bride all those years ago I had just gone through a really painful divorce and sworn of long term relationships with any woman on this planet. That was before I met Peri. The first night I met her she stole my heart and hasn't given it back yet.

My other bit of advice is stop looking to others for your happiness. Be yourself. You are a special person. Draw your inspirations from you, not some lady on facebook, and you will attract your princess.

[Alice Torn]

Some of it was my fault. Some ideas, and sharing, she considered as attacks. I apologized, but, she wants nothing to do with me. She is a strong Christian, and I gave her the creeps, and she doesn't know about my dressing. She is just super sensitive to any thing she thinks is negative, and quick to tell off. I am done, and part of me is glad I am alone. Unfortunately, in several weeks, i will have to move 2000 miles, to help my 89 yr old ornery dad, and will have to stay with him. No dressing for a long time! Some few of us, seem like were never meant to have a mate. Its not for everyone,

[Shananigans]

I read this book (My Husband Betty) that said many CDers are attracteed to very conservative women and that can be a problem with them gaining acceptance. It seems like an over generalization, but you said she was very Christian...so, maybe before throwing in the towel you should look for a girl that is more open to walking on the wild side.

[Susie Mae]

I chose to drive across the country to live with with my mother for the last year of her life. Since she had always encouraged and enjoyed my dressing up when she was raising me, she was delighted that I would live as her companion, dressed in the clothes we both liked me to wear, during the end of her life. That was only within our home. I stopped going out in public while dressed as a girl after I graduated from college. I became a heavy set guy in a dress, which is fun in private, particularly when I have a dominant woman to direct the show, but otherwise a public humiliation.

That was several years ago, and I have since entered a late life marriage, in which I am submissive to a very strong woman who enjoys the games cross dressers can and do play. I can now dress 24/7, at least in terms of undergarments, which I find to be the best part. After that come tight cashmere sweaters with clear titties in a bra.

[Susie Mae]

I agree. My first marriage ended in an explosion of moral outrage based on the Church and its teachings. In the many years since then, I have found professional women who like to help men dress and otherwise become submissive. In the meantime, keep yourself well pleasured.

[goofus]

Not all women are like that, any more than all men are wife beaters and child abusers. I note that you point out that the pretty women are the ones hurting you. Have you asked yourself if you are choosing women based only on their looks? We all want the drop dead gorgeous beautys, don't get me wrong, but they often come with some pretty serious attitudes. Next time around, make very sure that you choose the woman for more than her looks and you might be pleasantly surprised.

Couldn't agree more Kimberly!

[Diane Elizabeth]

I get mad at those that object because of the Bible. What kind of clothing did the men wear back then... They weren't wearing pants. Robes and dresses. Can one tell them apart. NOT!

[CamilleLeon]

Not to mention any objection based on the Bible is completely irrelevant considering the Bible never even mentions crossdressing. Also, isn't there something in there about "love thy neighbor" and "treat others as you want to be treated?" Some Christians confuse the hell out of me with their complete lack of knowledge of the Scripture they claim to believe. Religion is not an excuse to be an ignorant bigot.

Anyway, try a woman that will actually care about you and treat you respectfully, and you might be surprised how accepting women can be.

[Alice Torn]

I am in the same religious group as her, clear across the country. I never hinted about cding. Life is for unlearning things and learning things. I spooked her. Lesson learned, i hope. Moving on. Susanne is right. Others can't give us happiness. It is an inside job, but, is affected by outside things. Today, I just got over 17 days of an awful virus, and i feel much better now.That was affecting my mood.

[UASIANGAL]

When I read your Title, for a moment I thought you found a cure for crossdressing! Oh well, I guess I'll keep my panties and heels now!

[vetobob9]

To be real, I am in no situation, to have anything but platonic friendships, nothing serious, as i may have to move everything i own 2000 miles east soon, to be there when mom dies, and 89 yr old dad needs help, though he is extremely negative, and harsh. I never met the gal who rejected me , as she was on Facebook, had lots of friends, and rejected me from being friends, because i was negative and she said i was judging her. I did apologize, but, the damage done, and,"that's all she wrote!" It is hard to accept, that at 56, I still am not ready for a serious girlfriend, but it is true. As long as there's life, there's hope, I guess. Dressing is a very occasional thing for me, have not done it over a month, now. Been sick in bed for 16 days, miserable, and then a painful rejection. That's life. Being alone is not always bad. It would be nice to date sometimes, like i did back in my 30's. Maybe in my 60's!

The worst advice I ever received was to look on myspace for women. If you want to meet someone, myspace is absolutely worst place to look.

[Jessy]

Many of them are men anyway, or just some that are desperate for attention. And before I'm getting any comments from GGs, I did not say 'all' ;)


When I read your Title, for a moment I thought you found a cure for crossdressing! Oh well, I guess I'll keep my panties and heels now!
I thought those ARE the cure? After all I feel better when using them :heehee:

[kimdl93]

I agree that there are women who will accept you and cross dressing, but my point is that you must first address your other personal issues - the things that you find challenging about yourself. Its very difficult for an individual to enter into or maintain a relationship if they're dealing ineffectively with significant personal issues.

[Sheila]

I know i have lots of personal issues, and come from a super dysfunctional family, but, don't some of them have issues, too?

Hun first :hugs: perhaps the bit I have quoted actually is the clue to the rejections you are feeling, sure we all, and I mean all, have issues in our lives, but we have to learn deal with them .................. have you tried counseling for the issues and the dysfunctional family you mention ? ........... sweetie until you can deal with those then, you may well be doomed to keep repeating the same behavior patterns that will lead to rejection, albeit you may unaware that you are doing it, my :2c:

[sherri52]

Louise there is someone in this world for each of us. Sometimes it takes awhile to find that special someone, but when we do you will find it was worth the wait.

[jenifer m.]

i was gonna chime in but i see you have gotten such good advice already that i will just say dont give up you are problably a better woman than she is.oh well keep your chin up girl.

[Melinda G]

Several of my buddies have actually set up dates and met women they corresponded with on Facebook, and Myspace. All have horror stories to tell. Seems many, if not most women have a habit of posting 20 year old photos. One even wanted to talk about marriage on the first date. Consider yourself lucky!

[Alice Torn]

Believe me, I have been aware of my extreeme family dysfunction issues! None of my older siblings have SOs either.The family will die out. I went to some counselling, support groups, since 1985! I have mental/emotional torture issues, and my older brothers are now in prison. My father has been a bit of a tyrant over his family, and is angry that i have not yet moved across the country to help him. Some adult children struggle their whole lives, with issues, and some stay single all their lives, due to it.

[Melinda G]

Sounds like you need a vacation. Seriously. Take off somewhere for several weeks. Go somewhere warm, with palm trees. Don't tell anyone where you are going, or how to get hold of you. Listen to Jimmy Buffett. Be glad you're free. You want to feel good about yourself, go to a VA hospital and see all the old guys with walkers, wheelchairs, crutches, oxygen bottles, years of substance abuse. Think about a fresh start. Decide what you want to do with the rest of your life. Try and do something fun. Never become dependent on someone else for your own happiness. If you are a happy and interesting person, people will be attracted to you. Most people have their own problems and don't want to be saddled with someone who will just drag them down.
That'll be $50, please. :D

[Annaliese2010]

The latest painful rejection, by a beautiful GG, has got me thinking about why do i want to look like one of those beings, that so often is heartless in hurting me? I know i have lots of personal issues, and come from a super dysfunctional family, but, don't some of them have issues, too? I get hurt by a pretty woman, now, and I realize i have been almost worshipping them, and feel that men are sometimes cut to pieces, by a gg that is shallow and cold, making me want to be more manly , less wanting to dress like the being, that just rejected me. At least that's how i feel right now!

NEVER. EVER. worship ANYONE. If you allow yourself to "fall" and even worse, to actually communicate that to a girl? Hahaha... don't you KNOW? You've lost before you even begin! So please recall and never forget: "Nice guys finish last" is true, not some sing-song sideway bull sh#t. It's in her nature, her DNA, the way it works, why you need game. I'm sorry if I am sounding harsh and please don't take offense. I mean... putting it the way I just did I am sort of being derisive to myself, certainly not you. See... I know only too well what you're talking about and it is a constant battle for me, so much do I seem to tend to make the same mistakes about GG women, not randomly but for good reason. They are, after all:

The keepers of the flame, the ultimate prize; welling upwardly from the deeps, beauty that enthralls, breathtaking mystery; the fame, the glory, the giver of life, the dispenser of pleasure, the source of all strife, despairing; and whose true love and caring, if it comes your way, confounds and grounds you, settles you down, straightens you up, charts your course towards a distant horizon, neverending. For only a woman can bring you down, defeat your dreams, give you focus of attention and true vision; wide-sweeping in scope and rooted in this earthly domain. And by the force of her attraction, she warps time and space, holding you in place; a fierce animal caged by her sweet embrace, you have become infinitely free; no longer aimless and drifting, you are saved, your life rendered with meaning. From photon to wave, a quantum jump is made, your point-like state now radiates both inward and outwardly. Saved, redeemed and set right; her scent marks you, her arms hold you, her love is tight, transfiguring. You somehow become both small and large, forever expanding from the something you are to the something you were not nor by any other means, the something alone, you could never be.

Sorry for the unintended outpouring... I am nothing if not a romantic, and in this age of scientific wizardry, a stranger in a strange land, born out of time and place. Maybe we were meant to run some other race, Louise. And yet...such leanings, when running too deep, only serve to alienate. Love is a type of insanity, or so it seems. And so to go, further out than most; the winding road that lies beyond the farthest post... venture too far, among the stars, to be in love with love. No heavenly state but Hell; crooked not straight, chasing your tail, painful round-running scheme; chasing away each and every dream... and in desperation, to stop senseless frustration... become the perfect woman you seek.

[Alice Torn]

Melinda, I do go to the VA hospital, for counsel and group therapy. I went one month ago, on a little vacation, at Banff Canada! I got really sick the fourth day, and just got well today, 18 days later. Remember, to walk a mile in another's moccasins or high heels, before judging him/her. I don't need anyone, but my cats. I am not too fond of humans anymore, but Someone said to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Nobody said it was easy.

[Melinda G]

I wasn't judging. You related a host of problems, including your dad and brothers in prison. And it appeared that you needed to get away from the whole family.
I read your post and thought if it was me, I'd put some distance between me and the whole family, and leave no forwarding address.

[ReineD]

Louise, one of life's challenges is to not allow your heart to harden in self-protection after you get hurt. Even though you would protect yourself from experiencing future pain, you would also insulate yourself against the joy of sharing your heart with another human being.

There is someone for you out there. :hugs:

[Alice Torn]

Oh. ok. I certainly almost moved 2000 miles from them, in 1981, and considered never speaking to them again. My mom is 87 , dying with Alzheimers. My only sister is 60, with a severe speech impediment, and she helps my very ornery dad weekends, but, he can't understand her. I believe the family has curses! I will stop addressing this, as i have gotten way off my thread topic. Thanks for your input!

[IMkrystal]

I once read a research study that said Beautiful women are attracted to less attractive men because there no competitions and these men appreciate them more. One thing this web site has shown is, many GGs on here extrude beauty just by wanting to understand why there SO CDs. How many men would do the same if the tables were reversed? “Beautify is in the eyes of the beholder" Unfortunately, vanity plays apart in my crossdressing. It epitomizes the type of women I would like to meet. :daydreaming:

[Alice Torn]

Krystal, well said. I dress up as the lady type i would like..but, am willing to compromise on looks, a little. A wise king once declared, "All is vanity, and a striving after the wind," Song-"All we are is dust in the wind." Reine, that is true. I donnot totally isolate, and we all do need to interact, even if its only with a few. I sound like a hermit, but am not. I even go to singles dances in drab, but, am a bit of an exrtoverted introvert, am Bi-polar.

[Annaliese2010]

Love is a very dangerous thing. My best advice is to stay away. For as they say: Only fools rush in where wise men never dare. It's illogical, unproven and ill defined, and makes you act stupidly, recklessly. Plus it makes you so vulnerable. It opens up your heart to someone who gets inside you and if her feelings aren't as deep, sincere, innocent and sweet, she can really mess you up, leave you scarred for life... that is, IF you survive. Because when you open yourself too wide, she can cut you deep, bleed you dry and lay your soul to waste. You build up your defenses for a reason, so that nothing can hurt you emotionally. Because while there are many who won't, there are many more who could and would and you never know which until it's too late. Love begins for the dumbest of reasons; a smile, a look, the sound of her voice, the turn of a phrase. You feel the rush, the heat, the thrill of something new, you don't know what, you just know it's coming from her. And why? All because you let down your guard for a moment, the wrong moment is what I say! And now it's time to run, not walk away! Better yet... Fly!

But you won't because you can't. In those first few moments you want more, not less! Your eyes dilate, palms sweat, heart beats faster, your brain stops thinking and you feel better than good, you're feeling great! It's like a drug and suddenly you're addicted. To feel those feelings are the 1st symptoms. Far from being well you're on your way to hell and by her vampires bite, infected, soon to turn. You wake up with new eyes wide open, and look out at a world transformed. She's the 1st thing on your mind, you feel her inside, ever present. No matter what you do, where you go or with whom, near or far you're never apart, never alone, always connected. You see the world as never before, a part of you is here, the other part with her unaffected. Your life isn't your own anymore! You didn't have to let her in, but you did. For one weak moment you were tempted, you let down your guard now you're in love, and by her love, held hostage. Love is a disease. It gets inside you. And sooner or later it eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness. So simple a phrase like "maybe we should be just friends" turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul deep hurt, it rips you apart, leaves you broken and scarred; so great is the pain, so overwhelming your agony. I hate love.

[eluuzion]

"No body can make you feel inferior without your consent"
--Eleanor Roosevelt

Verbal assaults and condescending behavior directed toward others are always connected to low self-esteem issues of the person initiating the behavior. The most effective response is no response at all. Just view it as a red flag informing you that you do not need that person in your life.

"Never interrupt your opposition when they are in the process of hanging themselves."

Life is too short to base your worth on the opinions and judgements made by others. Most of the people observing the behavior of these people, recognize it as a display of questionable character, even if they do not respond accordingly.

Revenge is simply the process of entering a characterless game with no winners, or satisfaction.

ThinkLess, ActMore...life is short :love:

[DeeArel]

The GG merry-go-round. It ended for me when I became happy and accepting of who I am. Then, I quit hoping for some one but waited till I found the right one. It took a few years but was worth the wait. Every new person you meet has the potential and that raises your hopes as all are perfect till you get to know them. Make a list of what you want and cross them off your list when they don't measure up.

[serinalynn]

Forget about that woman in your first post. I think we all know that not every woman (GG) will be in favor of seeeing a man dressing as a woman and wanting to be feminine. But, Then there are some that don't mind, and will actually help you be all the girl you want to be.... Just be open and honest with the women you meet or want to develop a relationship with they will either say that they don't mind or they don't like it. for the later say thanks and move on.

[Nicole_LovesRay-Ray]

Hi I'm Nicole and I'm a GG. Me and my fiance have been together for over a year and our second month in he started talking to me about CDing. Deep down inside I already knew that he had these feelings. We started playing around with nail polish, makeup, underwear and I noticed the more we experienced together the closer I felt to him. I felt this way because it was as if he understood me better. Its like that old saying "walk a mile in her shoes". Now my SO is planing on doing it fulltime and I'm very supportive of her choice. So don't give up because you had a bad experience, there is someone out there for you. :battingeyelashes:

(An important note is that I met him as a him, and began to learn about her. Being honest with your potential SO is the most important step in the right direction.)

[Alice Torn]

Nicole, Thanks for that. I have never been dressed meeting a gg, and have only told two older gg's. No way would i meet a gg as Louise. I have had yo overcome my awful neediness, and not need a SO, be content alone. We enter this cruel world alone , and go back to the dust alone. I'll sure miss my pets, though...and heels.

[Rachel_Red]

Nicole, Thanks for that. I have never been dressed meeting a gg, and have only told two older gg's. No way would i meet a gg as Louise. I have had yo overcome my awful neediness, and not need a SO, be content alone. We enter this cruel world alone , and go back to the dust alone. I'll sure miss my pets, though...and heels.

Hey Louise, I'm Nicole's fiance and from personal experience I can tell you it can be tough but not to give up. I wasn't dressed as Rachel when I met Nicole. We started doing Rachel and Nicole together and now she is so comfortable with it that Rachel is going to stay around 24/7.

RuPaul once said you have to own your life. With that said you need to own your life. Tell yourself what you want in life and then go out and get it. We all are going to hit setbacks but what is important is that we don't let those setbacks define us. I know you'll find someone you just need to keep looking, she is out there but you'll never find her if you don't look.

[Jamie48]

I would say move on & don't let it bother you. There are alot of wonderful
GG's out there. Don't let any self centered airhead get you down.

[Satin_Lover_13]

Deep breath. In and out. Repeat.

Only thing I can say is don't give up. There is someone out there for all of us, and it may not be the person you think it is. Perhaps that someone is under your nose. Just don't give up.

Where, I did not see her? he he I am LOL at my own lack of relationships.

[Alice Torn]

Thanks to all of you who replied, and for advice. Now, i just need to call Dr. Laura and Roy Masters! Roy has said, that boys and men, tend to look too much to girls and women, putting them on thrones! Girls deify boys, too. Then, for all of us, the deified lover falls down, and conflicts, and reality hits! We all make the mistake. Relationships are not easy. The gg who lives upstairs from me, is a frigid loner, has no friends, does not want any, and hates to even say hi. At least i am out there pitching, even if i never have a SO. But, it is a good idea to walk alone, until some issues are dealt with. For some of us from extreme dysfunction families, this takes some years.

[Nicole_LovesRay-Ray]

Yeah I would have to agree with you Louise. Relationships are always work, the ones worth keeping and fighting for anyway. But in order to get what you want out of any relationship you need to really focus on yourself first. You know, self-love and self-fulfillment, your hopes and desires. As for families,it can be difficult at times, and if your family is anything like mine, there are far from perfect and far from one's own dream of what a family should be. But I wanna heal from that, in order to be happy with my own S/O. That old baggage can damage any new joy of one's life.
So remember stay positive. Family stuff is what it is, but your family doesn't define you, you define yourself

[Sheila]

Thanks to all of you who replied, and for advice. Now, i just need to call Dr. Laura ...........But, it is a good idea to walk alone, until some issues are dealt with. For some of us from extreme dysfunction families, this takes some years.

Loise I am pleased to see you taking steps to get to know you and deal with some of your issues, I wish you well and if ever you feel the need to talk to someone do not hesitate to PM me :hugs:

[AmandaM]

The gg who lives upstairs from me, is a frigid loner, has no friends, does not want any, and hates to even say hi. At least i am out there pitching, even if i never have a SO. But, it is a good idea to walk alone, until some issues are dealt with. For some of us from extreme dysfunction families, this takes some years.

You are right to stay out there. Too many people just give in to their solitude and accept their cage. Don't do it. And remember, we're really only about 10% of our upbringing. The other 90% is what we choose to do about it.