Well... got busted.

[Paula W]

Well, I knew it was going to happen eventually and I am surprised I got caught the way I did. I am currently living with my parents and we had company (they just left) and last night I was in charge of cleaning up the place while the rents were out.

I figured it would be fun to do the house enfemme so I did my makeup, put on one of my dresses that was suitable for housework and then cleaned for a while. After I was done, got back in drab, cleaned off the makeup and put everything back away in my hiding spot... or so I thought.

I like a ditz had left my makeup bag on the bathroom counter. I didnt even realize it was there when I showered this morning before work, probably due to being tired.

I came home from work, company just arriving around the same time as me. I go to my room to change, look on my bed, and see my makeup bag just sitting there. My heart sank in my chest at that moment, I know it didn't just happen to get there by itself.

As soon as everyone left, I went to go bring my car back to my parking spot and as soon as I get in I knew the question was coming. My mom asks "So what was that bag you left in the bathroom?" I had been thinking all night at what I was going to say because I knew this question was coming, I decided to just come clean and admit to the both of them that I crossdress just for fun.

My mother gave me the whole typical well we love you no matter what, my dad really didn't say anything but thats just the way he is and I know he doesn't really give a damn either if I crossdress or not.

I always knew they wouldn't react negatively about it but I still rather would not have gotten busted. Oh well, at least I can probably hang my dresses up now instead of having them scrunched into a hiding spot and not really have to worry anymore.

[TxKimberly]

It sounds like things have gone reasonably well then. Keep your chin up and you will be ok. :)

[Jessy]

Must have been a hard day, but I'm glad things turned out reasonably well.
Isn't a part of you relieved, that the sneaking around and having to watch your back will be over for good? And what I'm curious about as well, now that they know, do you show yourself to them as a girl or do you still keep it private?

[celeste26]

I would be surprised if your mother didn't already suspect anyway. Its hard to keep those things from mothers.

[vivian76]

Paula,

It's pretty annoying having them found out the way they did, rather than on your own terms... but on the bright side - you now really do know that they're OK with it, and you no longer have to hide if you don't want to.

Vivian.

[Midnight Skye]

You're still living under the same roof, and the house didn't explode. That's a huge thumbs up in my book Paula! Seriously, from the sounds of it they took it really well. And it's a great feeling to see your dresses hanging where they should be!!

[Christina Horton]

Paula.... Are you sure you left it there by mistake.... Or on did you do it cuz on some level you wanted them to know you just did not know how to tell them? I could not tell my mom and dad so I left my night gown just poking out of my sheets. It took ma 3 days befoe she found them. But after she confronted me it was down hill for her. She hated it and it took 17 years for her to except it. She still does not like it but at least she will talk about it with out geting mad and we have gone shopping once and I was dressed.

So for them to take it so well thats great. But just keep an eye out for the boom to lower and where she could do a 180 and hate it. So don't push her and let her ask you question and make sure they both know you will answer all questions 100% truthfully. Good luck and make sure you iron the dresses and keep them in good order.

[Paula W]

Thanks for the responses, and I have given thought about if ever I did come out to them about my crossdressing how I would go about it but decided I would rather not, so no, leaving the bag out "unintentionally" wasn't as unintentional as I thought, I have been extremely anal about how well I took care of putting things away.

I guess I am probably more surprised that I slipped up than they are about me admitting to being a cd. I don't intend to show them pictures or let them see me dressed though, just not quite ready for that. One thing is for sure though, I need to go out and buy a lot more hangers.

[Nicole Erin]

Seldom do people react as bad as we imagine

[Jessy]

That's because when we are scared, what we imagine is usually the worst case scenario. I always say be prepared for the worst, and the outcome can only be better ;)

[Rachel05]

I always thought my mum knew, she never came right out and said it but made the odd comment here and there especially if she had maybe had the odd tipple!!

When my wife found out about me, I got busted being carelss too and I had always been so careful or so I thought!! the good thing to come out of it was the fact I no longer have to be as careful about hiding stuff and whilst I don't stuff it in her face, it is there if she cares to look.

We still don't talk about it but why hide my stuff when she now knows!!

[Mackenzie]

Paula, I find that the best relationships are ones that are open and honest. Early on I would sneak away to put on my feminine clothing. Then I thought, "I am really deceiving my wife. If I really love her and she loves me, the thing I ought to do is be real about my desire to express my strong feminine side."

So, I began wearing things in front of her, just lingerie at the time. That was about 10 years ago. At first, she was rather put off. But over time we talked, she listened with loving ears and heart, and now she accepts/enjoys my daily dressing up. I only wish I could stay dressed as Mackenzie and not have to revert back to the boring male that I am.

Well, love and honor your parents. Let them know that you value their parenting. Express your feelings to them the best you can to take away all unwarranted concerns and/or fears. Maybe ask them if you could have a bit of time with them to talk.

I would suspect that your dad would find it harder to accept, almost a threat to the "maleness" of his son. But then again, you may be surprised.

Honor your parents, love them, and be open and honest with them. You will never regret any of those actions!!

Mackenzie

[Staci G]

That's because when we are scared, what we imagine is usually the worst case scenario. I always say be prepared for the worst, and the outcome can only be better ;)

I imagined my wife saying it is discusting and gross, But when she caught me it was worse than that! I expected her to say don't let me see that again and she said if I see that again I will leave. So yeah sometimes it is not as bad but others it can be worse.

[Miranda09]

It sounds to me like you'll be OK Paula. The shock factor may linger for a while, but from what I've read on this forum, parents tend to be a very accepting and understanding part of the population. :)

[Samantha Thomson]

i had the same problem when i was still living w mom im glad got my own place know can throw my skirts nylons heels make-up on the couch bed chair and nobody will care but as kiberky said keep your chin up as we are women


samantha

[Jenny Doolittle]

Paula,

I hope you had the same feeling I did when it was finally out in the open.... RELIEF!

Hiding and sneaking around just did not fit well with who I am. Besides, Now there may be a perfect opportunity to educate Mom and Dad

Good luck Sweetie

[Michelia]

like a good thing happened here. Just try to keep it all at a level that will not cause them any anxiety. Communication is key and it sounds like you can do that at least with your mom.

[Joann Smith]

I am a parent ....and i can think of a million things far worse to find out about my son..

Joann

[Paula W]

Update: My little sister is heading back to college because spring break is over (and as usual, it just had to snow on spring break). I knew my parents aren't going to tell anybody about my dressing but figured it would be as good a time as any to come out to my little sister because I know she is very caring and very supportive.

She thought I was joking at first because she just couldn't see me being a crossdresser then I assured her it was true and that if she wanted she could ask mom about me being busted last night, so of course she did and then she finally believed me. I showed her a couple of pics I took when she stopped over before leaving for school and I offered her a dress that she liked that didn't fit me all that well anyways. We are the same dress size but my arms are pretty huge and I had no maneuverability because of the tight fit in the sleeves. She even suggested that we go shopping together next time she comes home, I guess she can probably twist my arm a little.

Ive said before that I knew my family wouldn't react negatively, but finally being outed and confirming what I thought their reaction would be, I just really need to say it, I love my family so much.

[Cathytg]

OK. Think of this as a starting point. Yes, you can now bring your clothes out but take a longer view and consider how this can be used a new beginning with your rents. If they do not bring it up again (mine would have let it drop) then you should pursue it later and develop it. You will find yourself saying things that you did know you felt once you start talking. Let it happen.

[KayleeDahl]

I so know that feeling in your stomach when you discovered your makeup bag on your bed...

I'm glad that it has worked out pretty well in your household!!

Hugs
Kaylee

[Maria in heels]

I'm glad to hear that your parents are not coming down on you by not understanding....it seems that you have great parents and it does make it a great deal easier. My parents and sisters knew for a long time, no one every mentions it, but there was the lack of acceptance...just the lecture from my parents, and then they never said anything again...

[Susie Mae]

That's when I had to move out. My father was an alcoholic veteran after WW II in the Pacific. He wouldn't stand for a Nancy Boy in his house so I got sent off to Prep School, high heels and all. Mother came up for some of the weekends, but he never did. She did help me obtain clothes and learn how to wear them. Like many mothers and their sons, love conquers all.

[RichardCD]

I am a parent ....and i can think of a million things far worse to find out about my son..

Joann

I feel exactly the same way.

[jenifer m.]

cool your out sounds like and it wasnt so bad.no need to be so careful around the house any more.

[Angelofsomekind]

Well now that your out to you family you should come out with us to a club sometime since you are in the area!

[SusanLCD]

Congratulations, Paula. Your parents sound like they love you, very much.

As a parent and a CDer, I've often asked myself how I'd feel if my child were to tell me something that they were frightened to divulge. How would I react? I wish I could say that I would not be shocked; likely, I would. But, I'm unable to imagine anything so bad that I wouldn't still love them and try my utmost to understand their point of view.

[Chari]

Very good advice and comments from previous posts! Can only add - go slow & be honest with them! CDing was a change in your life style, but it's a big change in their lives too. Wonderful that your Mom and little Sis are accepting and hopefully they will offer their feminine knowledge to show you about makeup, hairstyles, fashion, etc. Thanx for sharing.

[Bunny Girl Zoe]

Sounds like all turn out ok in the end and pleased that there ok about you. And like you say no have to hide your female clothes.

[Paula W]

Well now that your out to you family you should come out with us to a club sometime since you are in the area!

Not quite sure I got the femme look down enough to where I would be comfortable actually going out in a crowd just yet.

[Mary Morgan]

Another example of "us" thinking it will be worse than it is. Sad that so many of us waste so much time because of the potential fears of others.