It is so good IT CAN'T LAST can it?

[the femm side of me]

:o I read the boards here and once in a while I see something about a group meeting or Triess something. I have to ask what is it? Is there a special secret location where you to try and cure your dressing desires? Like AA for dressers. Sorry for sounding dumb I wonder what happens there. I never go out in public dressed and have only dressed in front of my wife. I live WAY out in the country and have the luxury to sit out on my swing while dressed in the warm weather.
I have wished at times we could visit with another couple and talk about how other couples handle the dressing issues. I think it could be nice for my wife to have another woman to talk to about their men dressing. I have tried to get her on here she has no interest. She told me she is fine with it and doesn’t need to discuss it with anyone. I am happy she is fine with it but IS SHE REALLY? Last week she was in Florida for a family emergency and she told me when she needed to get away from the Hospital she was out shopping for new panties for me.
Are there wives out there that OK with it and never need to talk to anyone ever? I know I have one in a million with her. This is how crazy our private life is. At home we (empty nesters) I can dress any time. She never tells me to dress but never tells me not to either, I under dress all the time. I remember one time I was under dressed one of the first times I had on a bra under a heavy shirt and friend (female) wanted to give me a hug good bye my wife read the situation before it happened and stepped in between and hugged her is was so natural our friend just peck my cheek with a kiss and left.
Our connection to each other is so good we have some fun times. Very Very unusual for example on vacation we travel to nude resorts and spend our time totally naked. It was not hard for her at all as it was her idea. I got into it within an hour it was great. We liked is so much we bought a timeshare there.
Here is the super funny part we spent every day naked on the beach, at dinner, at the beach bar, dancing & sailing all naked. At night at bed time I put on my favorite pink night gown and she slept naked. So how can it be so good?
I have this uncontrollable feeling the other shoe is going to drop and she will flip out she never has never acts like it It’s all in my head. I wish I could relax. I think it’s me with the guilt. I remember hearing that it’s a sin to wear the clothes of the opposite sex and wonder if I will never make it to heaven because of crossdressing.
Why do I have guilt, binge and purge my clothes, the one person in my life approves it we are happy why do I keep looking in dark corners for trouble lurking there? I know there is no trouble. WHY do I have uncontrollable worry? The worry is so bad sometimes I don’t sleep for days. BTW I don’t use illegal drugs as I work for the government and get check regularly. I just feel guilty I guess. I my must me losing my mind!

[allisonrn06]

Have never been to a Triess meeting, but I know that they're a support group, members have meetings and outings where they are dressed fem, they are not going to try to "cure" anyone of crossdressing, they will help to support you in your CD/TV/TS identity. Most that I've looked into offer support for spouses/ SO's too. As to your question about accepting wives/
SO's not wanting support, etc, my wife is very accepting, has bought me fem items as you mentioned, but has never really wanted any kind of support. She has expressed interest in what I do on the forum here, but not as a means of answering questions she may have - she just asks me. She has said that if I joined a support group, she would go to meetings with me if I wanted her to, but not out of any need for support of her own - she would go to support me. If you have an accepting SO, I wouldn't worry about why she might not want support.

[Cheryl T]

Tri-Ess is not a "curing" group. It is a support group to help CD's become more comfortable with themselves and provide a venue where they can express their feminine side.
It also has a support section for spouses so that they can learn more about this and understand the feelings we all have in this regard.
Please check their website for more on this group.

http://www.tri-ess.org

[Tina B.]

Never been to a meeting, but they are not going to cure anyone, they don't think you have anything that needs curing.
As for your wife, it sounds like, when a way from home, without you, she still goes out shopping and brings you home panties, doesn't sound like she has a problem with your dressing, and she wants to see you happy, bringing home goodies like that.
My wife excepted my dressing many years ago, she has never shown any need to talk to anyone, or join anything. It's my thing, and I could join what I like, and if I asked her to go to a meeting, she would, but for me, not for herself. My wife has never asked me to slow down my dressing in fact for the last two weeks, I have been dressed almost everyday 24/7, except for two trips to town. So yesterday I stayed in drab for the day to give her a break, all I got for the trouble was a quick, "why arn't you dressed, today?)
I answered, "I thought I would give you a break today, you must be tired of seeing me in a dress." Her answer " What has, what you are wearing got anything, to do with me?" Needless to say today I am back in a skirt and blouse. You have a woman that loves you, and wants you to be happy, and I don't think she is bothered at all, so give her a kiss, get dressed and enjoy that empty nest!
Tina B.

[Misty is Kindafem]

Fem Side,

Relax honey. The guilt is is just a left over relic from childhood. Many people feel guilty for staying up too late, or sleeping in, or not doing yard work on the weekend. Are those sins too?

When you consider that Berni Madoff, slept quite soundly while he was literally robbing working people of their retirement, then celebrating your femininity hardly seems like something to feel guilty about.

Enjoy your life sweetie, you won't get this time back.

-Misty

[Veronica Nowakowski]

I would suggest therapy. You have questions and they can help you find the answers for yourself. However, the whole AA for CDs thing, that's just Bible Belt psychological repression. If you repress these feelings and lie to yourself it does a lot of psychological damage and you'll find yourself being mean to your wife (for enabling you) and many other undesirable results. Don't repress, progress.

[sterling12]

Now here's a really strange idea. Why don't you take a look at The Tri-Ess National Website, locate a local chapter in your vicinity, and make contact?

I'm actually a recently retired President of a local chapter, but each group is somewhat different, and it would be folly for me to comment about what some group is doing up in The Midwest.

But, I can advise you that virtually ALL Chapters require YOU to make contact, and go through a screening interview, before attending meetings and activities. Tri-Ess Chapters are primarily Social Groups, with support provided to one another through group participation and friendships. Your wife, if not openly antagonistic, would be very welcome.

I have seen many "closeted" Crossdressers literally blossom within this group. They certainly help people to find self-acceptance, and it's very common to see a person "improve" perhaps 300 or 400% in a very short time.

You have to be brave enough to take some first steps, but hey....big rewards often require that we act boldly! Good luck, I hope you can do it.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sweeterica]

You are lucky if your wife is ok with it ,my wife is too,im sure if she tells you she feels ok not talking to any one about it she is, please dont worry ,just enjoy what you have i do.

[StaceyJane]

Tri-Ess has really helped me develop as Stacey. It feels good to have a grouop that I can socialize with as Stacey. I also did my first reaql shopping trip with Tri-Ess.

P.S. There is no cure for crossdressing. Don't let anyone tell you there is.

[t-girlxsophie]

Triess sounds to me like a support group,that will help you with all aspects of being TG,I attended a similar organisation here in Scotland called Crosslynx,and it opened my eyes to all sorts of Possibilities.

I have been wondering have people been telling you that a change in your wifes attitude will happen,if so that may explain why you find it too good to be true.

It sounds to me you have a wonderful,understanding Lady in your life.Who loves you for being you,whether in drab,en femme or in the buff.Your situation sounds,in many ways similar to my relationship,have even had occasions when my wife as come home from work,and is left disappointed that I'm not dressed,Of course some days are spent in drab,but I don't mind that.It lets her spend time with guy me.

She has been with me to meetings,not for any need to understand,but just because it can be a social ocassion,we have been on holiday together with me dressed.Only thing that gnaws away at me is that I hate her having to hear hateful and hurtful remarks but that's just me being protective of her

you must remember which im sure you do,Is to never take her for granted,and to tell her every day how much you love her,I wish you continued joy and a great girly life together:hugs:

[docrobbysherry]

There's nothing I do that is as much fun as CDing!:D

I feel guilty, because folks my age just don't seem to HAVE these kinds of good times any more!:sad:

I mean, what have I DONE, that I deserve to enjoy life so much?:brolleyes:

Anything THIS much fun, MUST BE WRONG, rite?:devil:

Besides the guilt, I just KNOW it's going to stop! It HAS TO! Because I don't DESERVE to feel this good! Do I?:straightface:

[DonniDarkness]

Relax, paranoia will destroy ya.....from the way your post reads, it just sounds like your working yourself up for nothing, i do it all the time too tho. Try a diary or some other outlet for your thoughts, it helps to make them tangible when your freaking out

P.S.
Oh and on a side note: What a cool couple!! MtF CD marries a Nudist...thats awesome gurls!!

[NathalieX66]

Hi TFSOM, I think Tri-Ess sounds perfect for you. Having attended a couple meetings, I found them quite supportive...that's the whole idea. Some members bring their wives. The chapter I belong to is well networked with other TG support groups around the area that are not part of Tri-Ess. The idea is to have an outlet to dress up, and have fun...and be you, explore yorself, and meet others like yourself.

This is not about rehabilitation, or anything like an AA meeting, it's about being your femme self as you wish to be.

[DonniDarkness]

I think it’s me with the guilt. I remember hearing that it’s a sin to wear the clothes of the opposite sex and wonder if I will never make it to heaven because of crossdressing.


This is a topic i too have felt guilty about and is one of the reasons i stay closeted to the world, coming from a southern baptist background
A question i found on the net with a very matter of fact point of view so i decided to post it

Q: Is crossdressing wrong?
will crossdressing mean i wont be saved.


A: I'm taking it that you're referring to crossdressing being a sin in the Christian-Judeo context.

Deuteronomy 22:5:
"A woman must not wear men's clothing, nor a man wear women's clothing, for the Lord your God detests anybody who does this."

If you take this passage literally, then yes crossdressing is a sin and punishable by eternal damnation. However, you have to remember that many of the passages in the Old Testament were tailored to the conditions of the time and weren't meant to be taken literally word for word.

Also, keep in mind that clothing is a very fluid and constantly changing as fashion trends change. Look at Jesus for example. He had long hair and wore robes that very much resemble modern day dresses. Skirts were a uniform item for the men of the Roman army. A prime example of a man who loved to dress "pretty" was Louis XIV of France i.e. The Sun King. Like many aristocratic men of his day, he wore makeup, dress and skirt like garmets, silk stockings, and high heels. The founding fathers of America all wore stockings, wigs, and makeup. You know what is ultimately right for you in your heart, so wear what you like so long as you're not trying to deceive, lie to, or maliciously harm others in the process. God judges by the heart, not the clothes.


Here is the Link: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080920185351AASBwtX


Maybe this will help with the guilt about heaven and crossdressing, it helped me