I have told some friends about my being a CD

[BRANDYJ]

I just wanted to share something with those that might fear telling friends that you are in fact a CD.
I am on a dating site for the purpose of communicating with friends that I have known on-line from not only that site, but from yet another free dating site going back to the days that I was looking for a partner, before meeting the woman that owns my heart now. I also enjoy the many forums there and participate in them often.
My profile clearly states that I am not looking for a date and that I am in a relationship. And for those wondering...yes my SO knows about my continued participation in those sites.
Of the friends I have across the county and those within the state of Florida that I communicate with and consider friends, I have recently told three different women about my cross dressing. One other woman from these sites knew about it for the past 5 or so years. I have met them all at various parties. so I was able to size them up by personal contact as well as from what they have communicated to me before ever meeting face to face.
Not one of them judged me poorly. Not one made fun of it or said anything cruel, nasty or judgmental. They all said basically the same thing. That is that I am a friend and judge me for the gentleman I have always been to them. One of the women I met the same night she became involved with a guy I also knew from those sites. I consider him a friend as well. Now that they are deeply involved in a committed relationship, she has even told him about my cross dressing. Guess what...he does not think less of me either! Not that I have talked to him about it..... just what the female friend has told me.
One other woman I met on one of those sites, had posted some threads about cross dressing and related things that led me to believe she was accepting and maybe that she was either involved with a CD or had been at one point. So I wrote to her, complimenting her attitude toward cross dressing. Sure enough, she was involved with a CD. In several emails back and forth, she even mentioned this site. She is a member here.
To be honest, that renewed my involvement here after a long time not visiting our community.

So here are my observations:
One: If a woman gets to know you as a person, before she ever knows about your being a CD, she may not judge you poorly and she will accept you for the person you are... regardless of your being a CD (or other alternate lifestyle for that matter).

Second: Maybe it's true that the one that has hangups about being a CD is in fact ourselves more so then those that get to know us.
However... I still believe that IF I had stated in my profile on those sites that I am a cross dresser, those same woman may not have ever given me the time of day, let alone become friends.

I also see some CD's that state that they are a CD in their profile. My guess is that this will cause most women to ignore or never make contact with those that are out and up front about it. I do believe that if you are on a dating site looking for a partner, you should tell her very early on in the relationship and don't try to hide it forever. It should come out before serious feelings get so strong that someone gets hurt. But to soon and it could keep them single for a long time. It's a hard call as to who to tell and when.

[BRANDYJ]

I am surprised, and frankly kind of hurt by not having anyone comment or share there experience in telling friends. Oh well I guess it's not important.

Over 130 views and no comments? What's up with that?

[Holly]

Sorry you are hurt, Brandy, from the lack of response, but if you honestly read your OP, you really didn't request any comment or seek any feedback. On the whole, I generally agree with your premise but I would not limit it to only women, but all persons. I've told a substantial number of people in my sphere of friends about my being transgender and have only had one negative response. I think this is because I chose my friends carefully and work hard to build a complete relationship with them.

I hope you feel better.

[BRANDYJ]

Sorry you are hurt, Brandy, from the lack of response, but if you honestly read your OP, you really didn't request any comment or seek any feedback. On the whole, I generally agree with your premise but I would not limit it to only women, but all persons. I've told a substantial number of people in my sphere of friends about my being transgender and have only had one negative response. I think this is because I chose my friends carefully and work hard to build a complete relationship with them.

I hope you feel better.

Thanks for your response Holly. You are right, I did not ask for advice, comment or feedback. I just assumed others would want to chime in with their own experiences dealing with telling friends.
You are right, we do have to choose our friends carefully. Be cautious of who we trust with our personal life.
The only real negative response I ever had was from my own brother! I confessed to him a a very low time in my life almost 2 years ago. He has decided to shun me and wants nothing to do with me. It's kind of sad, but I accept it. He is one of those very religious people that thinks it is a big sin.
His beliefs and church come before family. I will never understand that kind of Christianity.

[t-girlxsophie]

**Sorry didnt't notice this post**.I have to agree wirth what you said,esp your first point.Most of my colleagues at work know of me being transgender.Some of it by accident,a lot of it by me just telling them,I think if i hadn't worked with them over a period of time,things may have turned out different,because they know me as a person,they can understand my CDing.

Only last night I was discussing things with Female colleague,and subject came round to me,and my dressing.She said it was my life,and my own business,so noone should ever judge me on what I do.

In saying this of course I dont mean just tell anyone,you should take each person at face value,only you can judge wether to tell or not


** ** still trying to judge busiest times on here so can catch new threads,time diff and all that

[Lorileah]

So here are my observations:
One: If a woman gets to know you as a person, before she ever knows about your being a CD, she may not judge you poorly and she will accept you for the person you are... regardless of your being a CD (or other alternate lifestyle for that matter).

I agree with that mostly. However I still think that before you buy rings and pick out that cottage with a white picket fence you need to tell them. So, yes they may accept who you are but I wouldn't let it go until later in the relationship. What you have done is, in my opinion, the correct way to handle it.

and sometimes, on weekends when the weather is nice and you have a million "honey-do's" people don't get to all the posts :)

[BRANDYJ]

**Sorry didnt't notice this post**.I have to agree wirth what you said,esp your first point.Most of my colleagues at work know of me being transgender.Some of it by accident,a lot of it by me just telling them,I think if i hadn't worked with them over a period of time,things may have turned out different,because they know me as a person,they can understand my CDing.

Only last night I was discussing things with Female colleague,and subject came round to me,and my dressing.She said it was my life,and my own business,so noone should ever judge me on what I do.

In saying this of course I dont mean just tell anyone,you should take each person at face value,only you can judge wether to tell or not


** ** still trying to judge busiest times on here so can catch new threads,time diff and all that


I agree with that mostly. However I still think that before you buy rings and pick out that cottage with a white picket fence you need to tell them. So, yes they may accept who you are but I wouldn't let it go until later in the relationship. What you have done is, in my opinion, the correct way to handle it.

and sometimes, on weekends when the weather is nice and you have a million "honey-do's" people don't get to all the posts :)

OK, now I feel better. You are right about the timing of a post and who might see it to respond. So my feeling hurt has been massaged back into a happy feeling. lol Thanks lSophie and Lorileah :)

I do agree, we must tell them before the ring is placed on her finger. Long before in fact. As I said, tell long before feelings get so strong that someone will be hurt....her or yourself.

[Teri Jean]

When I was CDing I did not tell anyone until a month or so before I decided to transition. The gal who knew was fine with it and when I decided to transition she did not change her opinion.

The acceptance from work is in part because they knew me for a couple decades of being the go to person if you wanted it done. The fact nothing has changed as far as work getting done has been a tremendous plus in their opinion of my transition.

Being single for the past three years has been different and there is no attempt to get involved again so I cannot comment on whether or not women are accepting or not. They pretty much know when they see me I am a woman up front so the getting to know me as a man first is out of the picture. Is there someone out there who will accept me as a female and love me for that? I hope so but it isn't the end of the world either.

Teri