You're in drab and you spot a sister cder, what should you do ?

[Marlena-4now]

I was pulling into the parking lot of the Home Depot the other day when my wife said " Oh honey, look " There was a mtf cder walking across the parking lot and heading for the entrance. She didn't look too bad but really wasn't passing. I was torn about what I should do. I wanted to go up and say hello and try to be friendly and supportive because if it was me all alone in a home depot en femme I think I would have welcomed a similar show of solidarity. But, on the other hand, I thought the person may be un-nerved if a strange man walked up and started talking. I also didn't want the person to feel like they were being stalked or gawked at so when I eventually noticed her inside I paid no more attention to her than I would to any other woman shopper, i.e., little to none.

What do you think I should have done ? Has anyone had a similar experience ?

[Loni]

sounds like you did right.:D

.

[Staci G]

I was out yesterday (Sunday) at Sallys and dropped by Catos (nothing there and SA was not interested) anyway if I am seen and read (very likely) I dont think I'd mind the support but we are all different. I think you may have done right by them because I think I'm in the minority rather than majority

[Mirani]

"Hello, I am a man who dresses as a woman as well. Of course, I am saying hello because you are so obviously a crossdresser and not a real woman - I noticed from the other side of the parking lot.
Anyway - have a nice day!"

What is this ******* fixation that many CDer's seem to have. This topic is a regular boomerang. The angst about approaching a stranger to let them know you know. So that now you know they know you know. Well woopie do.

How many other complete strangers do you approach? Cheesh!

[MiraM]

"Hello, I am a man who dresses as a woman as well. Of course, I am saying hello because you are so obviously a crossdresser and not a real woman - I noticed from the other side of the parking lot.
Anyway - have a nice day!"

What is this ******* fixation that many CDer's seem to have. This topic is a regular boomerang. The angst about approaching a stranger to let them know you know. So that now you know they know you know. Well woopie do.

How many other complete strangers do you approach? Cheesh!

Exactly. I don't understand this either. Just because you think someone may be a CD, why on earth do you think you should go up to them and and tell them you think they are a man in a dress? Is it really any of your business? Just leave people alone.

[noeleena]

Hi..

Yes this does come up for me i do see a few who are dressers & im a woman yet know many people i wont say any thing ,
the point would be i talk to many strangers as a woman normaly does in your day to day converstion so like in shops its not a problem or like i do when doing camara work . & in large get to gethers , To make a bee line to say something to a dresser then no ,
It can be a hard one as some girls would be put on the spot so you did the best thing in saying nothing .

...noeleena...

[Phyliss]

In the parking lot, say NOTHING. If you both ended up in the paint section and a chance comment was made about different colors, then simply smile, speak , and above all use proper pronouns if needed.

[Marlena-4now]

What is this ******* fixation that many CDer's seem to have. This topic is a regular boomerang. The angst about approaching a stranger to let them know you know. So that now you know they know you know. Well woopie do.

How many other complete strangers do you approach? Cheesh!

Mirani, evidently this subject has been brought up before ? Well, then, sorry for bringing it up again - but - since you asked - if I , for example, happened to see someone wearing a sweatshirt ( I think you would say "pullover" ) with the name of my university on it I might strike up a conversation with that total stranger - the point being we have something in common....what's so wrong about being friendly and trying to make a connection with someone you have something in common with ?

[Jenny Gurl]

As someone said, in the parking lot I would not approach them unless they looked like they needed help loading a heavy item. In that case I would treat them as I would any man or woman, mam can I help you load that? Same as inside, I would always use proper pronouns and would not let on that I knew. Who knows, it might be their first time out and letting them know they are read might kill their nerve early in their "journey".

[Susancd]

I would say just treat everyone as you normally would, as most of the other posters have said. I know that if I had the courage to go out, that's what I would like.

[VanessaVW]

On a related note to approaching a fellow sister, many times I'll see someone wearing a t-shirt or hat from the college I graduated from and I'll greet them. Most of the time they act look at me like I have three heads. I think people don't like to feel as if they've been ambushed even if they have the same interests as you.

[Rogina B]

Well,not in the parking lot necessarily,but if you bump into them inside the store...Tell them that they look great and you wish you were dressed as well. Most of us don't pass a close look anyway and i doubt that any out and about girl in a Home Depot is going to be hurt that you noticed her.Telling her she looks great isn't hurtful anyway.:2c:

[eluuzion]

If it was a cocktail party or I was playing "Where's Waldo?", I might approach her. But in HomeDepot or any other store, I would not approach her, or a guy buying make-up, or an overweight person looking at diet products, or a person looking at breast pumps, or a guy buying tampons, or a guy in the wig department, etc.

If any assumptions are considered, I would lean towards the most common one shared...the goal is to "pass" and "blend in", not be recognized as an anomaly.

The person might be a store detective, a robber or shoplifter using a disguise. Or a person paid to follow somebody (which I have done before), or a neighbor of yours, Etc, Etc...

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it". hehehe

[tamarav]

Just as Mirani states, we have re-hashed this topic over and over but, I still approach apparent women and many real women all the time, especially if I am dressed. My excuse is valid, I love their hair or some aspect of their wardrobe, something that they can identify with.

I spoke to a woman in drab yesterday in line at a store, telling her that I thought she had a perfect asymetrical bob cut. She turned out to be the nicest woman, another hairdresser that was shopping.

I do admit, that I have not approached CDs that I have seen who, in my opinion, did not want to be approached, who looked like a victim waiting for the axe to fall.

What would you like to happen if you were dressed and someone came up to you to talk? Better get used to it if you plan on going out. I would approach Mirani to tell her how nice I thought she looked, women do that to one another and if you want to be perceived as a woman it will become commonplace. Or a discussion on your shoes in the women's room...

[MsJoann]

There was a TG woman who I would occasionally see in the supermarket. I could tell. With myself looking half-enfemme that day, I decided to make an introduction.
When we bumped carts, I said hello and I had recognized her through a mutual friend. There was a look of horror on her face until I mentioned not only that friend's name, but a couple other names as well.
With that I received smiles. I'm sure she could tell by looking at the way I was dressed that I was "in the family" so to speak.
Everything has been fine ever since.

[Robertacd]

If they will make eye contact I give them the same little smile and nod I give a strange woman I make eye contact with.

[ellenwannabe]

I've been dressed several times and out in public but usually try to avoid talking to others as my voice is very masculine - otherwise I'm very passable - if someone spoke to me it would make me very nervous at least at first - would love to go out with another CD in public though - Ellen

[Stephenie S]

Well, as has been said already, there are two sides to this issue.

By all means speak to another PERSON as you would want therm to speak to you. But it's VERY important to remember that to "out" or "clock" or "read" another crossdressers in public is VERY impolite. If you are walking side by side into the store, or bump into her in the paint department, and you still want to strike up a conversation, compliment her on something. Her hair, her shoes, her outfit, whatever. Women do this all the time.

"Hi, I just LOVE your shoes. Where did you get them?" is a perfectly normal thing to say.

But DON'T go up to a stranger and say, "Hi, I noticed that you are a crossdresser. I'm a crossdresser too!"

That's very rude and impolite.

Let me tell you something that happened to ME recently. I was in a business meeting with refreshments later. After the meeting ended and all were milling about snacking on the buffet, a guy came up to me, stuck out his hand, and said, "Hi, I'm Frank. I'm trans too."

I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe his naivete! Right in the middle of a business meeting! How impolite is THAT? I told him I hadn't seen him around, and he told me, "That's because I've been out on sick leave getting my hysterectomy." More TMI!!!

This guy clearly had NO social skills what so ever. There were, and are, lots we could have talked about over a cup of coffee somewhere, but NOT in a business meeting. And remember, DON'T out the other person. They may not WANT to be outed. You can say, "Hi, I'm a crossdresser." But don't ever say, I noticed that YOU are a crossdresser. That's the no-no.

That guy at my business meeting could have said, "Hi, my name is Frank. I'm trans." You can say, "Hi, I'm a crossdresser." But leave the other person out of your judgement. But you see, when you do that, no one will want to do it. Who wants to out themselves in public like that? Well, what you are REALLY doing when you say, "I noticed that you are a crossdresser, so am I", is you are outing the OTHER person. DON'T do it.

Treat other crossdressers as NORMAL human beings. Be friendly, if you want. Compliment the other person if you wish. Smile at them. But outing someone, is impolite both in public and in private.

Lovies,
Auntie Stephenie

[Andy66]

Treat her like men usually treat women in hardware stores: look at her like she has three heads and then give her unwanted advice about whatever she's buying. :p

No, seriously I never know the proper way to act either, so I just smile.

[TxKimberly]

Treat her like men usually treat women in hardware stores: look at her like she has three heads and then give her unwanted advice about whatever she's buying. :p

No, seriously I never know the proper way to act either, so I just smile.


ROFL - You gotta love the sarcasm there!

I've been sort of torn by this one too as I have crossed paths with a few here and there.

I don't necessarily agree with those that are flaming you for even considering it. As you pointed out, you share something significant in your lives and so there is reason and cause to consider having a conversation, but . . .
As others have pointed out, by doing so, you are essentially telling her "You did not pass - I pegged you and knew exactly what you are" and depending upon the person, this may cause them great discomfort. So what's more important? Her piece of mind and her confidence, or your desire to strike up a conversation with someone who shares your interests?
Now if she is making no effort to pass, let's say wearing way over the top stuff like a micro mini and six inch heels, with a bright purple wig to the hardware store, I think it's a safe bet you are not going to hurt her confidence by speaking to her.
For the record, I'm pretty comfortable with who and what I am, and you aren't going to hurt my pride any, so if you ever see me out and about, by all means say howdy!

[KandisTX]

I have actually had a very similar situation here. I did approach her and I began the conversation by saying "Excuse me sister, but do you happen to know if they have this item here"? What I did was emphasize the word "sister" and gave a knowing wink as I said it. That told her that I was a CD as well, although in drab at the moment. She said no she didn't think they carried that item there and went on her way. She walked by a few minutes later and handed me a note which invited me out for coffee at the little shop on the corner. We met there a little while later after we left the Home Depot and spent a couple hours chatting and having coffee.

My point is that I was able to tell her that I was a CD by calling her "sister" and she could relax knowing she was being talked to by a stranger who understood and anyone else that could have overheard us would have simply thought I was calling her sister because we went to church together or something like that.

NEVER EVER, NEVER EVER OUT THE OTHER PERSON!!!!

Kandis:love::rose2:

[Lorileah]

Depends on circumstances.

Scene 1, she has toilet tissue dragging from her shoe
You should discretely say "Hey! You have TP on your heels"

Scene 2, she is walking across the parking lot at Home Depot going to buy a new roofing nail gun.
You go into Home Depot, but your plywood and only if you happen to walking down the same aisle in opposite directions and you happen to catch each other's eye you smile like yo would anyone else. Try not to hit her with your roll cart loaded with lumber, that is a definite no no

[JaytoJillian]

In the parking lot, say NOTHING. If you both ended up in the paint section and a chance comment was made about different colors, then simply smile, speak , and above all use proper pronouns if needed.

Exactly! I would not go out of my way to approach to the person anymore than I would if I saw any other stranger in public. However, in the event of a face to face encounter or passing by, I would give my customary "hi" and keep going about my business. I'd like the person to have the fun of NOT being read by the tall, dreamy (LoL), dark and handsome gentleman who smiled when he said hi, but didn't stare or stalk.

[Presh GG]

Tea and I were walking on a small town main street when we came face to face with a very well presenting CDer. [ Tea's in drab and I'm 3 steps ahead of her so we don't block the sidewalk] I smiled at her, she looked away, then at the ground. I could see her blushing with an angry, embarrassed look. No, she didn't smile back.

My point...
That look made it 10x more obvious she's not GG.

Presh GG

[sherri52]

I wouldn't go out of my way unless we ended up in the same isle. Then I might try to break in the ice. Although some people I know said they would never know I was a man in a dress I don't pass. I would still rather a sister greet me. Knowing I have a sister within 40 miles would be great.

[AllieSF]

I talk to everyone I meet for whatever reason, name on sweatshirt, cool shoes, cute baby. I am just a social person. However, I have to agree that I would not purposely try to talk to a fellow Tperson unless the opportunity presented itself in a very non-conspicuous way, and even then it would be a brief introductory comment about the weather, the crowded store, or just a simple hello if our eyes meet. if no further conversation follows, that is fine. I think that too many of us are scared to be just out and unless they start a conversation in a crowded area, we should all leave well enough alone.

[Jessy]

I probably would find myself hesitating too for a moment. But as said before, and as this thread proves, all people are very different. And you never know what a complete stranger will be like.
So I'd say don't give it any special attention, just be yourself, and do whatever you'd do (talking, greeting, or nothing at all) to any other person.

[Karen564]

For the record, I'm pretty comfortable with who and what I am, and you aren't going to hurt my pride any, so if you ever see me out and about, by all means say howdy!

Same here........by all means say Hi! and don't feel that I'm unapproachable..:hugs:

I think we can all agree that most of us all know who is one of our own, whether dressed up or not, so I think it's ok to approach the other, AS long as you do it without outing that person to others nearby and address her in a tactful & non-threatening way, but if she looks nervous, timid or uncomfortable in some way, it's best to go about your business & leave her be..

The funny thing is, I was followed to my vehicle this past Sunday in the parking lot after I bought my grocery's, and was just ready to pull my stuff out of the carriage when a pretty woman came around the back where I was, and said Hello, Mame,(I just assumed she worked in the store & wanted to check my reciept....lol)
then she apologized for following me , but explained that she saw me in the store a few times and just had to ask me something, then said with a very friendly smile, Are you by chance TS?....It took me a second to assess the situation,(because I'm thinking in my head, who wants to know...lol) but I replied back with a smile, Yes, Yes I am..and then her face really lite up in excitement and said she was too!! and lives in town here, then asked if I live in town, and I said no, but I live close by in the next town over...
So we exchanged names & both expressed it was great to meet each other, then we parted ways..

( Then after thought to myself, OMG!!, I guess I didn't pass so well today....lol........, but then thought about how she 1st addressed me, even though I was just wearing jeans & a hoodie jacket over a casual top that I chose for my long walk in the local park at Quabbin Reservoir all day, but then remembered that we do know how to pick each other out from the crowd if we take the time to look, so I took no offense at what happened at all ..)

Later, I looked her up on Facebook & added her as a friend, then she replied back, so now were both friends & have someone to talk to in person that lives really close by..

Point of my babbling here?
If you don't reach out to your sisters in your local area, there's no guarantee that you'll ever cross paths again or get to know someone like yourself in the neighborhood, it's a small world but still big enough to get lost in..

It's just important to use your best judgment & manners if you do approach someone, AND you should also be presenting as female, Not in drab......but if it doesn't feel right or just bad timing, then it's best to let it go....

:hugs:

[t-girlxsophie]

I think its best not to approach a fellow CDer,because it may be their first time out,in that case it may put them off doing it again.The fact you dont know their situation,only that they Crossdress,would in my opinion be a valid reason not to approach them.well unless the shop you see them in is trendy boutique and your fighting over the same top

[Bootsiegalore]

I was dressed one day and was filling my Corvette at the gas station and all of a sudden I hear..... "Excuse me". It was a guy in drab and said hello I am a cder too..... He lives arount the corner (2 miles) and was new to the area (from Canada) and wanted to know if there were any local groups. He gave me his card (girlie card) and I sent him some links..... He did keep chasing me to "meet up". But I thought he may be just be looking for the ol' bj if ya know what I mean! So I just kept my distance! T

[Shananigans]

I have actually had a very similar situation here. I did approach her and I began the conversation by saying "Excuse me sister, but do you happen to know if they have this item here"? What I did was emphasize the word "sister" and gave a knowing wink as I said it. That told her that I was a CD as well, although in drab at the moment. She said no she didn't think they carried that item there and went on her way. She walked by a few minutes later and handed me a note which invited me out for coffee at the little shop on the corner. We met there a little while later after we left the Home Depot and spent a couple hours chatting and having coffee.

My point is that I was able to tell her that I was a CD by calling her "sister" and she could relax knowing she was being talked to by a stranger who understood and anyone else that could have overheard us would have simply thought I was calling her sister because we went to church together or something like that.

NEVER EVER, NEVER EVER OUT THE OTHER PERSON!!!!

Kandis:love::rose2:

So, two people on this thread have met other CDers at Home Depot? That seems like an interesting place to want to go en femme. Sorry...I just had to point that out. That just seems rather comical. Thought I'd bring some humor to a heated topic. :D

[Frédérique]

You're in drab and you spot a sister cder, what should you do ?

Nothing. I would probably think about doing my own crossdressing later, but I wouldn’t enter the space of a “sister” and try to chat her up. If she’s confidently striding into Home Depot en femme, I would stay out of her way and head to the opposite corner of the store. Of course, if she’s buying naptha I might run into her, since that is my solvent of choice. :heehee: Why go to a place like Home Depot (or Lowe’s) crossdressed in the first place? It seems like a pointless exercise to me – go somewhere more feminine and enjoy yourself, for crying out loud. A library would be a better place – I might approach a fellow CD’er in that type of place, speaking in hushed tones, of course. If security is called in to deal with the implied ruckus, I would offer support, outing myself in the process. It’s the least I could do…:battingeyelashes:

[Rachel_Red]

I think you did the right thing. I know if someone walked up to me and told me they knew that it would probably make me blush (sadly on the inside I'd have a storm of terrible emotions). As CDers we do our best to try to blend in (well I do). The best place to meet and be a group is... crossdressers.com! :D

Yah when we're out and about we don't want to be singled out so I think you made the right choice just leaving her be. Funny thing is what if she was a GG... that probably wouldn't have gone over well :o

[Marlena-4now]

The person might be a store detective, a robber or shoplifter using a disguise. Or a person paid to follow somebody (which I have done before), or a neighbor of yours, Etc, Etc...

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it". hehehe

This person was definetly one of us , absolutely no doubt in my mind. Many times you might see someone and not be all that sure, could be a large masculine woman. or a TS woman or whatever but soimetimes you can just tell... you know ? Otherwise I would never have considered bothering her.

[Marlena-4now]

In the parking lot, say NOTHING. If you both ended up in the paint section and a chance comment was made about different colors, then simply smile, speak , and above all use proper pronouns if needed.

Yeah, that's what I was thinking, just kind of casually end up in the same section, and , using the proper pronouns of course, quietly and naturally just say hi with out drawing attention.

[Marlena-4now]

But DON'T go up to a stranger and say, "Hi, I noticed that you are a crossdresser. ........That's very rude and impolite.

Lovies,
Auntie Stephenie

Stephanie, I totally agree and I would never , ever, say that to someone , especially me being in drab !

[Marlena-4now]

I have actually had a very similar situation here. I did approach her and I began the conversation by saying "Excuse me sister, but do you happen to know if they have this item here"? What I did was emphasize the word "sister" and gave a knowing wink as I said it. That told her that I was a CD as well, although in drab at the moment. She said no she didn't think they carried that item there and went on her way. She walked by a few minutes later and handed me a note which invited me out for coffee at the little shop on the corner. We met there a little while later after we left the Home Depot and spent a couple hours chatting and having coffee.

Kandis:love::rose2:

Kandis, that is exactly the sort of thing I would hope might happen and the reason I was considering bothering this person. I mean , being a CD can get kinda lonely sometimes. Why can't we try to make a friend when the oportunity arises ?

[Jessy]

This person was definetly one of us , absolutely no doubt in my mind. Many times you might see someone and not be all that sure, could be a large masculine woman. or a TS woman or whatever but soimetimes you can just tell... you know ?
Female intuition, I guess ;)

[TNRobin]

I think that you did exactly the right thing. Unless she was wearing something and you wanted to know where she got it or something like that then don't pay any more attention to her than you would anyone else.

I can give you a first hand example of my own, though it's a bit different. I'm in a wheelchair and I go all over the place in iit since I can't stand at all. If someone else in a wheelchair comes up to me and asks me who makes the chair or something specific about it or about how I do something like get in and out of my Jeep for example, I'm fine with that. But when someone comes up in a wheelchair and just starts chatting like I should know them then I'm a bit put off since I'm not a member of the "wheelchair club for men" or something like that. But I do find it kind of humorous when someone comes up to me and says "I have a friend in a wheelchair, maybe you know them." Despite what some people believe we're not a secret fraternity.:tongueout

[Marlena-4now]

....... I don't pass. I would still rather a sister greet me. Knowing I have a sister within 40 miles would be great.
That's just the way I feel , Sherri. It's just nice to know there are more of us around than meets the eye and maybe the world is not as hostile as it usually seems to my no-doubt, paranoid perception.

[Marlena-4now]

So, two people on this thread have met other CDers at Home Depot? That seems like an interesting place to want to go en femme. Sorry...I just had to point that out. That just seems rather comical. Thought I'd bring some humor to a heated topic. :D
Probably the last place I would go for an en femme outing.....ya just never know.

[Marlena-4now]

Same here........by all means say Hi! and don't feel that I'm unapproachable..:hugs:

I think we can all agree that most of us all know who is one of our own, whether dressed up or not, so I think it's ok to approach the other, AS long as you do it without outing that person to others nearby and address her in a tactful & non-threatening way, but if she looks nervous, timid or uncomfortable in some way, it's best to go about your business & leave her be..

The funny thing is, I was followed to my vehicle this past Sunday in the parking lot after I bought my grocery's, and was just ready to pull my stuff out of the carriage when a pretty woman came around the back where I was, and said Hello, Mame,(I just assumed she worked in the store & wanted to check my reciept....lol)
then she apologized for following me , but explained that she saw me in the store a few times and just had to ask me something, then said with a very friendly smile, Are you by chance TS?....It took me a second to assess the situation,(because I'm thinking in my head, who wants to know...lol) but I replied back with a smile, Yes, Yes I am..and then her face really lite up in excitement and said she was too!! and lives in town here, then asked if I live in town, and I said no, but I live close by in the next town over...
So we exchanged names & both expressed it was great to meet each other, then we parted ways..

( Then after thought to myself, OMG!!, I guess I didn't pass so well today....lol........, but then thought about how she 1st addressed me, even though I was just wearing jeans & a hoodie jacket over a casual top that I chose for my long walk in the local park at Quabbin Reservoir all day, but then remembered that we do know how to pick each other out from the crowd if we take the time to look, so I took no offense at what happened at all ..)

Later, I looked her up on Facebook & added her as a friend, then she replied back, so now were both friends & have someone to talk to in person that lives really close by..

Point of my babbling here?
If you don't reach out to your sisters in your local area, there's no guarantee that you'll ever cross paths again or get to know someone like yourself in the neighborhood, it's a small world but still big enough to get lost in..

It's just important to use your best judgment & manners if you do approach someone, AND you should also be presenting as female, Not in drab......but if it doesn't feel right or just bad timing, then it's best to let it go....

:hugs:

Karen, that's what I wanted to do, reach out to my sister, and I didn't , and I never saw her again and I'm sure I never will....and....sigh..... but, I totally get what people are saying about not wanting to be outed and so on, and I was in drab, so there's my dilemma. Anyhow, thanks for your story and if I see you I'll most certainly say hi. And it might happen because I see you're a baystate babe like me !

[Ms. Emily]

I think I'd be pretty bummed if walking along in some shopping center thinking I'm doing a pretty good job of passing. When some guy comes up and lets me know that they are a CD too. Even giving compliments is kinda a slippery slope cause they still might not want the attention drawn to them.

It's not that I wouldn't want to meet another CD. I guess it would just really deflate my ego to have someone come and point out they read me. I've only noticed myself being read a couple times but it's kinda upsetting when it does happen. Whats worse is if that CD is at all shy or introverted you could scare them even further into the closet. They might start thinking "if he can read me anyone could". Not everyone is the social butterfly that some of you are and they deserve privacy. I say better to let sleeping dogs lie on this one.

[Miranda09]

I've experienced this just once where I spotted a sister at a mall. I wanted to go up to her and say hi, but realized that doing so would only draw attention to her, very likely unwanted attention, and might make a wonderful outing into a regretful one. Better to just appreciate their determination, their style, and confidence, and continue on with your activities. Just my 2cents worth! :)

[Karen564]

Karen, that's what I wanted to do, reach out to my sister, and I didn't , and I never saw her again and I'm sure I never will....and....sigh..... but, I totally get what people are saying about not wanting to be outed and so on, and I was in drab, so there's my dilemma. Anyhow, thanks for your story and if I see you I'll most certainly say hi. And it might happen because I see you're a baystate babe like me !

Hey, no problem,

Just so you know, if you see me when your in guy/drab mode, then all the better in my book!! Because I like being approached by guy's......a lot..:heehee:

Lately, maybe sometimes I'm way too comfortable about myself & suroundings for my own good....:battingeyelashes:

:hugs:

[jenifer m.]

i think if i ran into another cd i problably would be very kind,and polite to them if i had a chance.i would treat them as i would wish to be treated.

[Alice Torn]

"By cracky toots, you look like a sister cd, and i am a brother and sister." nyuk nyuk nyuk[/COLOR][/SIZE]

[eluuzion]

This person was definetly one of us , absolutely no doubt in my mind. Many times you might see someone and not be all that sure, could be a large masculine woman. or a TS woman or whatever but soimetimes you can just tell... you know ? Otherwise I would never have considered bothering her.

yes, I understand. I apologize for my irresistable tendency to twist the world into a cartoon distortion when I process information. I am hopeless on that one, but I always mean well, with no disrepect ever intended... :love:

[Alice Torn]

In the late 1980s, I was working on my car, when a cd, dressed up, who lived in a rooming house nearby, came up to me. I just said hi, nice weather to work on the car, and she left. I was not cding then.

[Natalia]

What if you are wrong and it really is a GG???:doh:

I once asked a nice lady at a cocktail party when her baby was due (as her tummy protruded in a 7 mo bump)

She frostily informed me that she was NOT pregnant.:gn:

"Nice shoes", or "I love your hair" or a cheery smile. Beyond those...nope.

[gabimartini]

Good question... hasn't happened to me yet. I'm not sure what I'd do. Guess it would depend on the situation. At Home Depot, I'd probably do nothing. At the women's section of a department store, who knows? Though, I'd probably do nothing as well.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

What if you are wrong and it really is a GG???:doh:

I once asked a nice lady at a cocktail party when her baby was due (as her tummy protruded in a 7 mo bump)

She frostily informed me that she was NOT pregnant.:gn:

"Nice shoes", or "I love your hair" or a cheery smile. Beyond those...nope.

Most likely with my luck that would be the situation if I struck up conversation.

I have also been in situations like Vanessa's where I strike up a conversatin with someone wearing the same college shirt as me being that I went to a very small university with a pretty dedicated alumni network. The person usually looks at me like I'm insane.

The few times I have seen a CD in public I have not wanted to strike up conversation. I always take the philosophy that maybe the sister is having a great day, and is under the illusion that she is "passing."

Even though I would have the best intentions by showing fellow support to a sister. I just would not want to possibly ruin what could have been a great day for another CDer by essentially clocking them.

The only exception would be if maybe we were both in the size 12 section at payless looking at shoes and that would just be to show support of having the injustice of having large feet.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I think you react just as you would with any other person, if you typically stay to yourself...then stay to yourself.

I personally like to be friendly with most others so I probably would have just said, "Good Morning"

[bobi jean]

If I had the opportunity, I would approach " her " just as I would any other PERSON in the store (any store).
Good morning! (a nice, warm, friendly smile is aways welcome, and most often appreciated)

(and if I wished to strike up a conversation)
can you tell me which spray adhesive works best with breast forms?
Not really!!
If I were to strike up a conversation with "her", I'd most likely start with something like; excuse me, I need to pick up a can of adhesive spray. (depending on what department we are in)

My question, to each of you is;

why would we treat ANYONE any differantly than "how we would like to be treated". (in as few words as possible), with respect!!!

Like Kimberly and a few others, I do not mind being appproached by anyone, in fact, I would welcome, and love, the opportunity to meet and make new friends.
If you ever see this ugly old ******* (or cute little bitch) out and about, please feel free to introduce yourself. I'll buy the first round.....

[Stacye Rose]

Prehaps because I work in retail, I think that to totaly ignore this person would be rude. Working in retail requires you to at least acknowledge and speak to everyone you meet. When I run across another cd I always smile, say, "May I help you, Ma'am?" Then I will compliment them on some aspect of their appearance "That's a very pretty blouse. The color suits you well." But of course I would say the same thing to any GG. Much like some of my "girl" mannerisms this retail related behavior tends to spill over into the rest of my life. The other side of this debate is this. Were I the one dressed and out in public, I would greatly appreciate acknowedgment from another sister. Even..No, especially if I didn't pass, That kind of contact would greatly help my confidence in myself and my decision to go out dressed. :2c:

[Fab Karen]

Just as Mirani states, we have re-hashed this topic over and over but, I still approach apparent women and many real women all the time, especially if I am dressed. My excuse is valid, I love their hair or some aspect of their wardrobe, something that they can identify with.

I spoke to a woman in drab yesterday in line at a store, telling her that I thought she had a perfect asymetrical bob cut. She turned out to be the nicest woman, another hairdresser that was shopping.

I do admit, that I have not approached CDs that I have seen who, in my opinion, did not want to be approached, who looked like a victim waiting for the axe to fall.

What would you like to happen if you were dressed and someone came up to you to talk? Better get used to it if you plan on going out. I would approach Mirani to tell her how nice I thought she looked, women do that to one another and if you want to be perceived as a woman it will become commonplace. Or a discussion on your shoes in the women's room...
Listen to Auntie Tamara.



Try not to hit her with your roll cart loaded with lumber, that is a definite no no
Now you tell me!:)

Go up to someone you assume to be a t-girl, say,"I'd never guess you weren't a woman!" & then she beats you to death with her purse like Ruth Buzzi. ( even if she was a t-girl she'd have every right to do so )

[EnglishRose]

I could be wrong, but I think I spotted a transwoman today at a takeout restaurant, ahead of me in line. I would never say anything anyway, especially if I was perhaps wrong, apart from a simple friendly greeting, but then she was engaged in conversation with someone anyway. A few choice words caught my ears that could pertain to this whole arena. :)

If someone's female, whether trans or not, they could rightly be insulted by insinuations of this sort.