Am I being Outed by all of my peers?

[Natalie_393]

I'm pretty Sure most or all of us form time to time in life, Your friends and or people you know form work,school, etc..... Have said things to you that hint around the fact you might be a crossdresser or more tuned into things girls are into rather than what guys like. While these comments people say to me aren't hurtful they're more of a joke than anything And I'll laugh with them about it but deep inside I'm trying not to be Paranoid thinking my friends are trying to out me in some way. Are they on a witch hunt of some kind? I don't have an SO but that's my choice I've just been pondering lately is the other side me ready to come out soon but It seems like everybody I know acts like they know about it already. I know this all sounds a little complicated but at least I'm not taking it all the wrong way:) Sooner Or later Natalie will come out and whenever that happens I'm not going to care what people think about it
I'd like to hear some other views on this subject

[Midnight Skye]

Hey Natalie! I think it's curiosity more than anything else. I would guess most are letting you know, they recognize you're different. A touch more feminine in attitude, action, personality, etc. From my experience people who say things or ask questions along these lines, they want to know more. They're often curious if there is an "explainable" reason for you being the way you are "gay, metro, too many sisters, a crazy grandma who treated you like her little girl..." I would say the last answer most are expecting is, "I'm a crossdresser, or transgendered, etc."

This is just from my personal experience, as I got that LOTS in highschool. After two years the girls just treated me like another girl listening in. It was rather humorous... if not disturbing from what they'd say in front of me. But I often found the gals asking how I kept my nails so long and nice, if I was gay, and wondering why I understood girl stuff so well.

As for guy reactions to these things... if I hadn't had a girlfriend most of highschool they would have been completely set I was gay. I was just too feminine for it to be explained any other way to a guy in my hometown.

Oh yeah... I should mention I lived in a town of 3000 in Iowa. There were only two openly gay woman and no openly transgendered people. And a crossdresser was whispered about like crazy (sighs). In New York things are probably a bit different ;)

[sherri52]

Hi Natalie: People are by generalization extremely critizing of other. They are always trying to find out things about others without coming straight out with it. Many times someone may be trying to find out if he or she were the only one. I grew up inner city Boston. It always seem that this one boy was accusing everyone else of being gay (at that time is was called faggot). Later we found that he was in fact gay and lived somewhere south of Boston away from all of his friends. My opinion, which may or may not be any good is that he had these feelings when we were young and he was trying to find someone else just like him. Although I wasn't gay, i still dressed even years before and had he come out to me I would have told him my secret. At the very least we would have understood eachother because we were different.

[minalost]

But I've come to the conclusion that I am over sensative to that type of comment. In 90% of the cases that I've been able to discreetly look into I've found it was a totally innocent or joking comment with no hidden meaning or hint. The one time it wasn't I was tempted to "come out" but insead I just made a joke out of it and it was dropped.

The trials of being in the closet!
:hugs:

[Jessy]

Oh yeah, that sounds all too familiar. Usually it's indeed nothing to worry about. Be warned that being startled or acting uncomfortable by their joke might give you away though.

[minalost]

Oh yeah, that sounds all too familiar. Usually it's indeed nothing to worry about. Be warned that being startled or acting uncomfortable by their joke might give you away though.

Exactly. Don't be too startled and don't over react or you'll be just giving yourself away.
:hugs:

[Jessy]

Exactly. Don't be too startled and don't over react or you'll be just giving yourself away.
...on a silver plate, I might add :D

[ReineD]

Are they on a witch hunt of some kind?

Probably not. They might just sense that you are different and they're trying to make sense of it all for themselves. It is natural to feel more comfortable with the familiar, and most people tend to want to classify and organize life's info into areas that are logical to them. This doesn't mean they are being morally judgmental.



Sooner Or later Natalie will come out and whenever that happens I'm not going to care what people think about it

So now I have a question for you. :) When you are ready to have Natalie come out, and if you could find a way to integrate her reasonably well into major areas of your life (such as work and some friends), do you foresee any reason at all to have your guy self continue to make as many appearances?

[eluuzion]

Ok, I guess we have concealed it long enough...yes, we all received a memo from the Mayor's office about 6 months ago telling us you were a CD, but we were instructed not to tell you we knew...because there was going to be a big surprise party to "out" you in the near future...:D:D:D

jus' kiddn'...

One of the downsides of concealing any type of behavior from the outside is the natural tendancy for our minds to engage in "selective perception and interpretation" of our surroundings. One of the basic requirements of covert activity is the ability to successfully ignore/control this natural cognitive process and react consistent with normal interpretations and actions.

just a suggestion...but I would not consider going into any occupation requiring stealth and secrecy...you would not be good at it, lol...not a bad thing, just not your nature...:)

[Natalie_393]

Thank you ladies for your views on this subject it's always a good thing to look at something in different perspectives rather then your own

[Billijo49504]

That sounds like the best time to come out to them. Tell them you are still the same person that you've been for all those years, and yopu're not going to change. Just dress a little more comfortable...BJ