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Caitlyn
08-13-2005, 02:42 PM
Hi to everyone as I am a new member.
In October, I will be seeing my psycologist for the first time. Am I supposed to go dressed in my female finery or ....as a guy? Will it make a difference to his decision? What can I expect to happen at this meeting? HUGGS to all.

Julie
08-13-2005, 03:28 PM
My first three sessions I went in drab, mostly because I went there straight from work and had no time to change. But I was curious if the therapist would notice any difference if I went dressed. So I had the time for the fourth session to dress and the entire session seemed a different experience. When it was over I asked the therapist if I seemed different. She gave me an absolute yes. Then she said, "There's no bullshit." I realized then I had been living a lie by hiding who I really am, thus the BS. From that point on I went dressed however I felt.

How you go should make no difference to the therapist. Their job is to help you, not judge you. If you hear, "Since you came dressed as a man, you must not be a transsexual" go find another therapist. It's not the clothes, it's what's inside you that matters. All TSs start their transition in the sex they were born into. It takes time to move into the other sex's life. That's why it's called a transition. You may have a job you have to dress in drab for or maybe family doesn't know or a host of other reasons. Just go the way you feel comfortable. Be yourself and let it flow from there.

Jonien
08-13-2005, 03:46 PM
I havent as yet seen my therapist still waiting but was told by my GP that it would be best to be dressed if possible for the first session but will be expected to be dressed there after

Milla
08-13-2005, 04:39 PM
If i felt i could pass in public , id go dressed .Thats just me.

Stlalice
08-13-2005, 10:14 PM
Caitlyn,

For the record, my first visit to my therapist was in drab. But every visit since then has been when dressed. It does no real harm to go in drab, they are supposed to help you regardless of how you are presenting yourself. But there is a benifit to going dressed particuarly in the early stages of transition. And that is the building of your confidence in yourself and your ability to pass and survive when out en femme. What I try to do is schedule my sessions for days off or otherwise time them so as to be able to go en femme. One additional thing - if it is possible to do so make sure that the therapist specializes in gener issues. You don't want to pay for "on the job training" for one who doesn't. A check of the local Pride Pages and/or with a group like PFLAG or the IFGE should be enough to confirm this. Good luck kid and hang in there. :D

Rachel_740
08-13-2005, 11:13 PM
I've only ever beento my therapist and psychiatrist en-femme. The fisrt session at me therapist was the most un-nerving because I didn't know what to say or really what the therapist wanted from me or anything, having never been to one. My therapist has seen me in drabs once, when she came to my work to talk about things with management a few weeks before I transitioned. She said to me at my last session that she struggled during that because I wasn't 'me'.

My reasoning behind going en-femme is that I want to be a woman, and that is what both the therapist and psychiatrist are helping me to achieve so that is how I present myself (and prior to transition to 24/7 it was also a good oppertunity to go out dressed and get more experience.


How you go should make no difference to the therapist. Their job is to help you, not judge you. If you hear, "Since you came dressed as a man, you must not be a transsexual" go find another therapist. It's not the clothes, it's what's inside you that matters.

Julie, I would agree with you to a degree, but I have been told of a girl over here (the UK) who spent something like 2 years attending her psychiatrist appointments, but never once went en-femme. The psychiatrist regularly asked her to come dressed for the next srssion and she never did so eventuallly he dropped her, concluding she wasn't TS.


Anne

Natasha Anne
08-14-2005, 01:54 AM
I went to the psychiatrist in girls corduroys (it was winter here) and purple cowl neck jersey and boots (flats, no heel). No other finery at all.

I chatted to him for ages and then when he asked me if crossdressed, I told him that I was. He was quite surprised when he realised I was wearing girls clothes all the time while I met him.

I would say it really depends on you. I knew my psychiatrist was experienced in gender issues, so visiting him, though scary for the first time (will he believe me, will he judge me blah blah blah), I knew he had knowledge of the subject.

The only reason I wore those clothes, was because I wore them to work. The ladies at the office enjoy it when I do that, typically on a Friday, and most of the men are too dumb to realise, except for one macho guy who calls me a Charlie's Angel. But he's a nice guy anyway, he got over my crossdressing in one night of drinking with me a few months ago.

Caitlyn
08-14-2005, 04:30 AM
Wow, thankyou all for your quick and detailed responses. I mentioned the psycologist in my post, but he is actually a consultant urologist (which I think has something to do with my peepee) and his team of experts are there as well. Ive been seeing a therapist for about 7 months now, unfortunately she had no experience with transgender issues and it seemed like I was teaching her what was what. It did help me tho (I guess a problem shared really is a problem halved). Anyway, she is happy that I know what I think I am, and ive been refered to this person who will decide on what happens next. After reading peoples replies to this post, I have decided to go in 'drab'. The world is not ready for me.....YET

Natasha Anne
08-14-2005, 07:57 AM
Good for you.

I've just managed to get my hands on a book called "True Selves" written by a psychiatrist who had been working with transsexuals for 20 years. It's actually written for those who live in the same environment as transsexuals, but it really a good read. I've read 2/3 of it in less than a day, because it just covers so many situations that include me. Some examples are right, some are not, but for every facet their is information provided from real cases. She even discusses what milestones psychiatrists attempt to reach with transsexuals, without giving away all the secrets. She didn't want to write a manual on how to fool a psychiatrist. Reading about transsexual childhoods, teenages years, adulthood, acceptance in the workplace etc. is truley amazing.

My psychiatrist has been amazing for me, as has my endocrinologist (who really is part of the councilling process too) and this sort of book really adds to that.

Everyone in this discussion should get the book if they're still transitioning. I'm going to give it to my wife, family, friends and manager at work to read. It really covers loads of what I need to say, and breaks everything down into the right component parts, rather than perpuating the jumble in my head.

As a last note, going in drab will not put you at a disadvantage. I often visit my psychiatrist in drab. They're not looking for what you're wearing, they are going to probe for various things by asking appropriate questions and then move you into acceptance of whatever direction you and they agree is right for you. They are not dictators, so don't be scared. I visited my guy, and had already accepted what I was, I just finally showed the courage to do something about it, so he is helping my transition and preparing me for the good and bad times to come and also aiding me in things like when I should disclose this to the wide world and when I should full time. He takes it slow, our conversations are fun (bar the first time, and even though they're fun I replay the conversations and realise the detail level he asks me for all the time) and I know he is the right guy to get me into the world brimming with anticipation, less anxiety and that he will help ensure my transition is smooth and I just get absorbed into society. As you can tell I like my psychiatrist a lot!