Elusive feminine peace

[Robyn2006]

Like many others here, my male side is like some foreign entity that I just have to accept. Yes, of course, it's nice to just shrug it all off and not have to worry about plucking every stay hair or worrying that I'm only attractive with the right lighting, to just put on a t-shirt and jeans and be what I'm thought to me. But that's all just whining about the upkeep, the upkeep we all need to do having not been born women. But to just awaken and be a woman? To feel that peace? Christ, I'd sign-up in an instant!

Sometimes I'll just lay around after I do the bath/shower/shave thing, after I attach my breasts (with hollister's, always a must if I'm to feel right), wearing only a bra, pantyhose, slip, and a little lipstick. With my skin and form as it should be, I really love the feeling of being so natural, without all the other makeup, wig, etc., and would so welcome NOT having to do anything else to fully feel myself as outwardly feminine as I feel inside. Really, I have such a love-hate thing with the next must-dos. Like most of you, I LOVE putting on makeup and glamorizing myself, it's such heaven!!!!!! Don't get me wrong there! But what a wonderful world it would be if I could just roll myself out of bed and be a girl. Of course, any girl would say that it's not easy to be gorgeous, it takes a lot of work. But for us, good lord... It can be maddening!

Robyn

[Jessica Who]

I can relate somewhat to your thoughts, very well written. I hope that penning your feelings helps you cope :)

[Mirani]

:hugs:
:thumbsup:
:awe:

[wishing2bali]

I feel exactly the same way sometimes as well hun :)

[Genifer Teal]

Time and experience can get you there. Over the years I have taken steps to reduce the effort it takes and added some steps. LHR on my entire body is a great way to be less manly on a day to day basis - not necessarily more feminine but a step in the right direction. It is a time saver to not have to deal with. On the negative side (or at least more work) having long hair takes time to manage and style.

Still, it is all the little details. I went overnight to a party in CT last weekend. Everything seemed to fall into place. Hair needed color. Got that done night before - no need for them to blow out and style. Did that at home before work to be ready for next night. Planning ahead - timeshifting so you don't have to do it all at once.

Getting ready for this party still took a little time but not so much to be work. More just makeup - get dressed - straighten hair - have fun. For some reason on this night I really felt like this is right - how I should be. I never felt out of place, just that this past weekend I felt more in place (can I say that?)

What ever your situation may be, You can make this easier. Planning ahead not doing everything at once can help to.

Gen

[t-girlxsophie]

I have been out on scene since 2001 and I still get days when I look in the mirror,and think OMG what a sight,But am sure,no i know that GGs have days like that too.But Girls when we get it right there Is no greater feeling than seeing yourself looking the best you can be,even like me you dont pass,you could still do a good enough job to make you feel happy with what you see.

oh! yeah and dont try applying makeup and putting on rest of your outfit in a Compact Car,now thats a devil of a job:heehee:

[Sara Jessica]

Peace with this whole thing can be elusive but when it hits, it's a feeling like no other. And then you'll likely discover achieving it isn't quite as hard as you're making it out to be.

[Chari]

Sometimes all the effort of "becoming a woman" can be overwhelming! IMO, it is best to give yourself enough time to enjoy each of the actions that require the transformation, and always be comfortable and confident in who you are!

[Dee2U]

How you feel about the time spent to look your best en femme may be related to the amount of time you spend to look your best en drab (for those who drab a lot). I have a bit of a metrosexual streak in me as well so take the time each morning to choose clothing carefully, press it, ensure shoes in good shape, moisturize face and body after showerng, clean up my eyebrows, style and shine up my hair, use concealer if need be etc. These types of rituals fit well with the occasions I dress en femme. Do those of you who have issues with the ammount of effort required to look good en femme spend little or no time on your drab appearance? Just a theory....Dee

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Your writing is very moving. I related to all those thoughts...

especially how over the years i would sit in the bathtub for really long baths, shaving and wishing the water could "turn me into a woman" right now!!! my mom used to yell upstairs all the time "get the hell out of that bath!!!!" and "you'll flood the bathroom!!!"....we are great friends, and recently i reminded her of it, and told her just what i was doing up there...she remembers how irritated she got at me ...and remembers yelling at me....now she just laughs and laughs when i talk about it...:daydreaming:

all the best:hugs:
kate

[AmberLynn]

Hmmm never thought of the makeup,shaving,dressing looking good as requiring a lot of effort,how ever I put equal time and attion into my drab out fits as my fem one's. drab or fem i want to look my best

[Frédérique]

Like many others here, my male side is like some foreign entity that I just have to accept. Yes, of course, it's nice to just shrug it all off and not have to worry about plucking every stay hair or worrying that I'm only attractive with the right lighting, to just put on a t-shirt and jeans and be what I'm thought to me. But that's all just whining about the upkeep, the upkeep we all need to do having not been born women. But to just awaken and be a woman? To feel that peace?

What makes you think women have a “feminine peace” associated with them? Some do (I suppose), and a lot don’t – I think this “peace” you’re striving for transcends gender in inexplicable ways, and you need to dig deeper. I also need to point out that the outer, surface aspects of femininity you seem to revel in have little to do with inner peace and more to do with presentation, for whatever your personal reasons may be. I know one thing -- if I woke up as a woman one day I’d be fearful of all the physical (and mental) changes I only know peripherally now. There’s a lot more to “being” a woman than wearing lipstick on occasion or worrying if you’re sufficiently attractive. I have yet to meet a woman who is 100% peaceful (definition?), inside and out, but now and then a fleeting, yet inspiring, moment comes and goes…:eek:

[missjoann49]

I do have to admit that I feel the same way that you do
Hugs
Miss Joann

[Kaitlyn Michele]

there's a difference between saying that you want to have all the peaceful thoughts that you may assume women enjoy every day...of course that is not real life....that's not what i beleive most folks mean...

how about if the poster said..."that elusive feeling of peace that I can only seem to feel when i am feminine" or in my case, i would substitute female for feminine... thats how i hear those comments

[geri-tg.]

Well written you touched most all of us. I often drream of as you put it rollong out of bed as a women.Awesome thought.

[Stephenie S]

Sweetie, it ain't quite the bed of roses you seem to assume.

You need to search your soul for "that elusive female peace" you speak of. It's not in the superficial aspects of femininity whereof you speak. I think you may be able to find such peace, but but not where you're looking.

Being able to roll out of bed 100% female happens for 50% of the world's population every morning, but facing the world in a presentable fashion still takes some effort. Here I sit, at my computer, drinking my morning tea. I rolled out of bed about an hour ago. I TRIED to straighten my bedraggled hair a bit. I DID put on some lipstick. I DID brush my teeth. But believe me, I still look a mess. If a Boy Scout bottle drive came to the door right now (it's happened), I would be VERY sorry I hadn't spent a lot more time on my appearance this morning.

Female or male, we don't roll out of bed looking like a magazine ad. It just don't happen, hon, only in the movies, on TV, and in your imagination. Even when I go to work (I'm a nurse), where I just wear scrubs and little to no makeup, I spend a good hour getting ready.

I suspect that if you really knew the amount of work we can have to put in to face the world (and our husbands or SO), you would not be so envious. You may very well feel cheated by nature, or Goddess, or WHATEVER, (I mean, who WOULDN'T want to be a woman? Doesn't everyone?), but in the day to day maintenance department, the grass may not really be so much greener over here.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Robyn2006]

Sweetie, it ain't quite the bed of roses you seem to assume.

You need to search your soul for "that elusive female peace" you speak of. It's not in the superficial aspects of femininity whereof you speak. I think you may be able to find such peace, but but not where you're looking.

For most who've responded here, thanks so much. For stephanie, really... you're way off the mark. I hardly think being feminine is a matter of doing my makeup right. I was speaking of being, feeling feminine throughout my being. As hard as it might be for any woman to feel attractive, they at least don't have the male attributes and conundrums within which we find ourselves whenever we close our eyes and try to conjure-up inner femininity. Lipstick helps, but it's hardly the answer. I know that well.

Hoping not to make a thing of this, just wanted to clarify.

Robyn

[Stephenie S]

Well, if what is interfering with that "elusive female peace" you speak of is your dingely dangly, I guess you're out of luck. Sorry I misunderstood.

I suspect, however, that "feeling feminine" is going to be elusive no matter what. I believe that there may be no such thing. I believe that we can only really feel like ourselves. I don't really feel feminine OR masculine. I feel like ME. I wonder whether you will ever really feel like other than yourself no matter what. Feeling like a different person is elusive at best.

I know I am treading on shaky philosophical and semantic ground here, but your quest may be impossible. It's easy to find out what it FEELS like to wear a dress. Just put one on. It's easy to find out what it FEELS like to use makeup. Just do it. But that "elusive female peace" that got us into this discussion? Hmmm. I have trouble even imagining what that could be. It certainly seems "elusive", don't it?

I guess my point is that this might not exist. Do you think there is such a thing as "elusive MALE peace" for some? Perhaps there is. I never experienced it, of course. But conversely, I have not experienced any "female peace". I am happy. I am content. I am glad to be a woman. But I think my peace comes from ME, from my own satisfaction with myself, rather than my particular gender.

What are your thoughts?

Stephenie

[kellycan27]

I think I know what you are trying to say, and I also think that some people may be taking you quite literally. Since transitioning I have discovered that I can enjoy a sort of inner peace in that I feel quite comfortable and content in my role as a female. Simply waking up,getting out of bed,sitting at my dressing table and brushing out my long hair can bring this on. Having my morning coffee while sitting quietly alone on my patio with my legs tucked beneath me,walking through the mall with my b/f holding hands. Looking up at him towering over me gives me a sense of being small and vulnerable, yet protected. Though these feelings might not be exclusively feminine, they are things that I don't ever remember feeling as my male self so I equate them to being female. These are things that bring joy to my life and let me see, and make me feel that yes.. this is what my life was meant to be like, this is the life I was meant to have. I no longer have the inner struggle between he and she, or the thoughts of being read or not read, being accepted or not accepted,hiding or coming out to selected people. I am now free to enjoy my life as a female, which in itself brings on those feelings sheer contentment,comfort, inner peace or just about any other descriptive that you can come up with. :2c:

Kelly

[Stephenie S]

So, said that way, Kelly, it's quite understandable. Thank you.

Lovies,
Stephienie

[diannecourtney]

You know I went to the Crossdressers Form to get a feel for the way I currently feel. Your thread was exactly what I was looking for and I am completely pleased to have shaven 100% and made up with the ability and what little make up I have and damn it I feel girlie from heels to earrings.:hugs::hugs::hugs: