how passable are you when CDed ?

[ellenwannabe]

I feel I'm very passable when CDed accept for my very manly voice so I try not to engage in conversation when in public - what are your concerns when CDed if any ? anything I can do easily to alter my voice ? Do you go out alone or with others when CDed ? - Ellen

[tricia_uktv]

What you think matters - that is good. I can now pass but had the following conversation? in a lesbian bar on Sunday.

I went to the bar to get my second beer (two for a fiver) and used sign language to order it.

The girl behind the bar used sign language back with a smile and then said:
"We are allowed to talk you know"
"I know, but sometimes it gives me away"
"Ha-ha-ha I can see that"
"Hmm, you can hear that?"

Life is fun, enjoy it!

[kimdl93]

I'm not passable in my view - but as I"m sure you'll learn, that's not the most important standard. I've learned that being happy with one's appearance, despite any shortcomings (real or imagined) is far more important that meeting someone elses standard.

[ellenwannabe]

Hi Kimdl93 and you are so correct - when CDed I walk tall in my heels and hold my head high and do that because that is the real me - I love it so much when CDed - thanks for your statement - Ellen

[Rianna Humble]

I feel I'm very passable when CDed accept for my very manly voice so I try not to engage in conversation when in public - what are your concerns when CDed if any ? anything I can do easily to alter my voice ? Do you go out alone or with others when CDed ? - Ellen

A very dear GG friend commented to me how manly my voice sounds - she also thought I sounded posh but that's 'cos I'm from the South of England and all us southerners sound posh to her :heehee:

I don't think I "pass" whatever that might mean, but I am generally accepted for who I am and that helps.

AFAICT there is nothing you can do easily to change your voice, but it will come with lots of work and practice.

[ellenwannabe]

Hi Tricia - you were busted but in a good way and you must have been more comfortable in there after that - thanks for sharing that with us - Ellen

[Jessy]

I find it hard judging that myself. And since I don't go out in the open yet, I can't be very sure.
I think my looks are passible, or close. My appearance is improving, working hard on that part. My voice certainly is not.


anything I can do easily to alter my voice ?
Easily? No. But it is possible. There are ways to alter your voice but know that it is a long way of practice, practice, and guess what... more practice.

[SweetCaroline]

I've been told by at least two other T-girls, that I was, in their words, "one hundred percent passable" and another friend who told me that I didn't open my mouth when I went out, I would be indistinguishable from a real girl.

With that said, I really never gave much thought to passing when I go out. I usually mind my own business when I go out alone, and no one hardly notices me. Half the time I go out, I go out with other T-girls or to Trans events, in which case, passing isn't usually possible.

I still firmly believe it mostly about attitude, and looking your best, and not caring about other peoples perceptions of you. If you're having fun and being yourself, who cares what they think anyways. :2c:

[kellycan27]

I still firmly believe it mostly about attitude, and looking your best, and not caring about other peoples perceptions of you. If you're having fun and being yourself, who cares what they think anyways. :2c:

Very well said. If you are happy and accept yourself....what else matters?

[Bethany38]

Not Very

[StaceyJane]

I just assume that I'm 0% percent passable.
I'm getting better at not worrying about it though.

[AmandaM]

Not anymore. In my early 20's, somewhat.

[eileendover]

:D If I take off my glasses and squint a lot, my mirror image looks somewhat feminine. But the camera tells me the truth.

[msginaadoll]

I'm not passible. I do go out in public and it is a toss up now whether I am sir or maamed. I guess what I have come to expect is that whatever I am called I'm treated with respect. I have been told by some individuals I know that I am pretty passible- not sure what that means. What I am working on is not letting others opinions influence me in enjoying myself or of how I think of myself. I firmly believe very very very very very few CD's are passible. I believe more delude themselves into believing it. Not necessarily a bad thing unless it comes back to bite ya, or ruins your day when someone calls you sir or looks at you funny or even worse. Once you can work at getting past "passible" it opens up more doors for you. And if most people waited to go out to be passible it wouldnt happen. Well off my soap box.

[Fab Karen]

"Am I passable?" if people walk past you, then yes.:)
The key to never getting read relies on three things: distance ( being seen from afar ), drinks ( other people being drunk ), and darkness.:)

Look your best, then get out & forget about what someone MAY be thinking ( you may be dead wrong, many people are wrapped up in their own heads ) and don't think about what you're wearing, you're just YOU. Focus on what you're doing- shopping, getting coffee, etc.

[Carroll]

I say that I may pass, however I am reminded by people that I work with that I definitely pass. For one, I know I don't normally walk like a guy. It's just in my nature I guess. I am also short for a male at 5'4". My voice is not really deep like most males and I am often called ma'am when people call my house.

[Midnight Skye]

I'm accepted all the time :) I often get some strange reactions due to the way I dress... being that I love flashy high heels, black tights, and skirts. Many of the places I go woman just don't dress that way and I get immediate attention for it. My assumption is that sometimes leads to the realization that I'm not entirely female. But who cares, I've only been laughed at a few times. No ones pointed or said anything nasty. And honestly... and this is the really strange part of it... even on my worst trips I get more good attention and compliments from people than I do on any day out dressed as a male.

As for who I go out with, I often go out alone or with my wife. And worries... voice, especially when ordering takeout food. I'm ok at a register or chatting... but when I have to raise my voice for ordering takeout food, they often take my voice for a guy. Which then results in lots of giggling at the window since I'm obviously not dressed like a guy. But I can take smiles and giggling. My plight is quite humorous and I'm happy to giggle along with others :)

[jenifer m.]

i used to pass quite well.i can have a very feminine face with makeup on,but since my boy side started body building about a year and a half ago im not very convincing unless i would be playing super girl hee hee.i am going to miss being out shopping during the day time and getting by with it.

[julie w]

Out of all the crossdressers I have seen I can only think of couple that
pass 100% having said that I believe that if we look the part and do not
attract attention to ourselves by flashy clothes wig and lots of make up
A lot of us can fly under the radar of most people , thats my goal and
most of the time it seems to work

[sherri52]

I pass to about 50% of the people until I speak then it's 0%. I am old enough that I just don't care what others think

[Patty]

Not very

[Jeannie]

If everyone was blind, then I maybe I would pass.

Jeannie

[Tamasina]

For me its not about that. I still want to look nice however its about being true to myself and in turn just feeling good about myself. When I started really dressing I would wonder the same thing but, it really doesn't matter as long as your happy. I know that there are girls that look better then me but, the same is true with GG's some look better then others and that doesn't keep the others from being who they are so thats to bad if I am not "Passing". I am still going to be myself.

[Annaliese2010]

I don't care about nor do I subject myself to the acceptability standards, "passability" criteria, notions, bias or judgments of OTHERS. I am what I am, look as I look and do what I do to please MYSELF, not anyone else.

[Rachel Morley]

how passable are you when CDed ?
I have no idea ... it's not for me to say is it? The only thing I can say is that I have been told by a couple of GGs who are not in our community but know about our support group because they work in the hotel that we hold them at, that they say I look like a "regular woman" ... whatever that means.

I am lucky in that when I'm out in public, people seem to treat me the same as GGs, Most of them don't let me know that they know ... but that doesn't mean I passed. It just means they're being polite or they think I'm "close enough" that they are comfortable "playing along" :2c:

[Barbara Dugan]

Not at all .. but if at least someone interesting find me attractive its enough for me:battingeyelashes:

[Adelaide]

I've been told by many women that I'm very passable....Being 6 ft tall + heel with very long hair, heads turn.... But I need proper make-up!
But I'm also like you, e.g. my voice is giving me away...unfortunately.
A.

[AmberLynn]

Id venture to say im about 40% passable in the daylight at a distance more then 20 feet and 60ish at night time in 10 feet "unless i speak" I have that deep man voice that i have yet to shake,and of course i have not gone out save for halloween 10 years ago. I did learn basic sign "abc's" how ever not many people know sign so till i ditch the voice "an family woe's "mother sister brother" ill stay in my closet with my wife and be as happy as i can

[Misty is Kindafem]

Not at all .. but if at least someone interesting find me attractive its enough for me:battingeyelashes:

I'm with Ms Melendez, though I find her pics to be very striking.

My goals are to pass as a woman from a distance, and as a smokin' hot tranny up close. I believe these goals to be achievable if I keep pushing.

My dream is to pass like Kellycan, but that boat has already chugged out of the harbor. :daydreaming:

-Misty

[Byanca]

Not very. But it depends on how I am dressed. Sometimes people stare their eyes out, especially women. Other times people hardly notice anything me. So it's not easy to say why and what is what. But it's very rare people laugh. So I think I look fine. But probably special(a bit tall). Not sure, never really asked. Sometimes cars honk their horns, sometimes women stop me and say I look great(that's on the staring days) and guys talk to me from behind, telling me to use more clothes since it is cold.

It's all quite confusing. A thing in between is what I like the best. Some attention, and that people smile to me. That makes me more secure.

[t-girlxsophie]

I dont pass,but the difference now is that I dont tear myself up about it,when I started going out I wanted so much to pass,but over time I have realised that its not(or shouldn't be) the be all and end all.

I do think a positive attitude and confidence,helps you in public though,as well as dressing appropriate,though whats appropriate these days,when to be seen in a skirt is a sure sign your TV lol.

I rarely get any trouble,a few looks obviously,but thats to be expected,its not as if every 2nd person somone sees is TV so its only natural to stare,but most people are in hurry to be getting to where they are going to hang around to abuse you.

I only really get upset when am with my wife,im so proud being out with her so I dont like her hearing anything negative.Regardless wether you pass or not.its still the same have fun,but be careful

[danielle.cd]

i think i do if u look at my pixs lots of people have told me i look good but when i talk im outed instantly other than that i havent realy been asking people if they see a gurl or guy the one time i did go out into the store at night with my wife i didnt see anyone do a double take or nothing and the greater said have a nice night ladies so i dont know i guess i doo

[AKAMichelle]

I am work in progress. Hopefully one day I will be more passable than I am today.

I have seen a lot of pictures of several T-girls over a period of time and with practice we do get closer. That's the way I want to be.

[Veronica Nowakowski]

Eyebrows and my wig getting in bad shape, despite being recently brushed out. God damn, wigs get ragged fast. I need to grow my hair out.

[PretzelGirl]

I don't think I can be. So my goal is simply to fly under the radar. Nothing out of the ordinary and nothing out of place.

[christinek]

This passable thing comes up allot and I will tell you 99% of us don't pass in the traditional sense!

If you have an avatar that is obscured or not showing your face or a graphic I assume you don't pass. That does not mean you cant pass I just assume you don't, if you could you would show it. So you say "I do pass" but due to being outed I cannot, also says I have never been out of the house dressed.

I don't pass in my opinion, but see my profile pictures, who cares! I only get one life!

So who will get more nasty looks at the local Wal-Mart? The extremely hefty GG or you? This assuming you are not equally over weight.

I look at life as most women I see out in public don't pass as they look like crud. Because we like to dress better than most genetic women gives us away. Most of us feel like an 18 year old girl in our mental female development, noted by how an 18 year old dresses. You may be in your 30's but emotionally in your experiences and finding yourself you are much younger as you missed out on this step as a kid. Like figuring out what size you are, that is something girls learn in there younger years, we are doing it now!

Either Way, Have fun and good luck

[Byanca]

If you have an avatar that is obscured or not showing your face or a graphic I assume you don't pass. That does not mean you cant pass I just assume you don't, if you could you would show it. So you say "I do pass" but due to being outed I cannot, also says I have never been out of the house dressed.

I dunno. I tend to not use avatar pictures. Just sometimes. It's more of an emotional thing then anything else. Not sure avatar pictures says all that much, unless it's clinically done. Like a police photography. People look different. Often people look far better irl. I don't use wigs, probably easier if I did.

For me it's a bit weird, since I got a good angle and a bad angle. So staying in my good angle, I think I'm fine. Unfortunately the opposite is true from the bad angle.

[eluuzion]

I have never heard any critical comments from anyone in the 8 years I have lived in this house. (But then, I do live alone,) so ...maybe there is a correlative relationship there, eh? :battingeyelashes:


"Passing" has a lot to do with the circumstances and location when you are in public. Feminine appropriate mannerisms and motor movements, as well as controlling the transmission and meaning of non-verbal cues can make a major difference in your success in "blending in".

I am pretty proficient in going "unnoticed", whether I am dressed or not . I have always received positive approaches by email, etc. from strangers on a regular basis.

Ultimately, I know I can go unnoticed, I have done it in public a few times dressed. (covert business activity).
But in the end the physical passability questions are always.....
"beauty as seen through the eyes of the "beer-holder". lol

[Mirani]

I am lucky to have a live-in coach :) My SO reminds me if I lapse into guy mannerisms (the way I stand/walk/sit/eat) - not in a cruel way but with a nudge. But I never worry if i "pass" ... I just am grateful I am and have been accepted and treated as a woman and with my friends as "one of the girls".
I am sure that at times people will "see" my origins ... but as they dont tell me or treat me negatively ... I am blissfully unaware.

[BRANDYJ]

If it's a typically low light nightclub, then yes. In broad daylight, no. One funny thing that happened. I was out with a TS friend at a party when she left to say hello to some guy she knew. She came back told me the guy said, " Please tell me that gorgeous blonde is not one of you". But again, it was a dark nightclub. lol

[Mackenzie]

My wife told me the other day that if she did not know who I was, that I would pass. One thing I am working on is the voice. I have been to Walmart and to a restaurant to be forced to interact with the help. I think I'm getting better at it.

I think a key is, blend in. Don't dress in an outrageous way so as to draw attention to yourself. Think of how other GG's dress when out shopping, at the grocery store, mall, etc. If you go out flashing a corset, letting your lace thigh-highs show and 5" stilletos, you're just asking for it.

Be fashionable, walk tall, think about body language. Be confident, a little smile on the face. Don't avoid looking people in the eys. Take the initiative to say "Hello!" to someone. What's the worst that could happen? Really nothing in the grand scheme of things.

There are great videos on Youtube on male to female voice training. Just put that into the search at the top of the Youtube page and you will get some good stuff. The best is by an Asian girl who, to show her progress, goes back and forth between her female and male voice. She is really good!!!

Mackenzie

[Stina84]

I've never been out so I have never been in a situation where I could pass or not.

However Mackenzie's mentioning female voice training reminded me of an episode where I "passed" as a woman without even trying to. I was in drab and about to have a night out with some friends. I called a taxi to get there and when it came the driver was surprised to see that I was a man. I guess I must have sounded female on the phone without even thinking about it :laughing:

[EnglishRose]

My wife and I both know I would never pass. I think she finds some comfort in that. However, I've never given much thought to how people view me. How that reflects on her, though, when she's with me - that's different.

I have tons of dreams in which I'm out and about - but although I've never been out in daylight dressed (used to take a few late night walks in deserted streets), the only particularly masculine thing I think I show is my hated facial hair (grew it 15 years ago to look older and more "manly" - how ironic).

I'm freakishly tall but that doesn't prohibit anything :)

[Ashley Allen]

Passable not passable... I agree it really shouldn't matter and that if you hold your head up high and be proud of yourself, you'll be accepted regardless.

Just the same I myself tend to worry about whether I am passable or not, and leads me to buying clothes that make me look good,a nd applying the makeup right, etc. Still the most important variable seems to be the attitude and the smile.

I have been out at T-girl get togthers and one might think having a guy tell you that you are so passable, would be a nice compliment... but those guys that hang out with T-girls seem to know the right things that we want to hear, so I chalk it up to unimportant.

If a stranger came up to me and told me I was passable, well that would mean I wasn't. And the only one that knows me as a guy and a girl is my SO and she says I look like a guy in a dress. Which is what I used to see in the mirror myself. I think partly this is how others are used to perceiving me, and partly the fact is that I am a guy in a dress. :daydreaming: oh if only I could just trade bodies with my SO, that would be even more fun than dressing up.

Keep Smiling and remember it's about how you feel, not how you look, and how you feel impacts how you look.

[Melinda G]

It helps to know our limitations. Most of us can pass in some situations, and not in others.
Walking down the street at night, even a brightly lit commercial area, or even in the daylight, I can pass. I've passed people on the sidewalks, some walking their dogs. If they say "Hello", I just smile back. I've had plenty of horn honks, cars slowing down for a better look, and a few testerone crazed youths hanging out the car window yelling "I love you". Ha. I always think, "if they only knew".

But in an up close personal encounter, my voice would give me away immediately. I know this and operate within the conditions in which I can pass and feel comfortable. I have no desire to go shopping en femme, or deal with sales people, or stop and buy gas, where some bozo could pull into the next pump and give me a hard time.

[Juanita O]

Well i think that I am not very passable because, I am a fat old man and i look like a fat old man in a skirt, I can't walk like a model (one foot in front of the other) I have seen a lot of the pictures of the other girls out there and i see a lot of beautiful very passable women, I am not one of them. I am 6'2ins tall and how many tall women do you see out there.

[Michelle-Leigh]

Visually, I am way more passable than most, and in 10 outings, have only once had anyone even give me more than a passing glance.... As he was a young man and I was attractively dressed, I will never know whether he was admiring me or just trying to figure out which sex I was. And this occurred in a rural convenient store at a closeup distance. As he was obviously a redneck, I am more inclined to believe that he was lusting after me in my little black dress as he watched my pert little fanny moving in a figure 8 pattern. :heehee:
I do not as yet have a femme voice, and have been in all sorts of places without it. I have interacted with retail store employees and have never received more than a knowing smile here and there. I now use the ladies' room as well, and that is the only place in which I feel uneasy in the least. The down side of all this is that it takes most of the excitement out of going out en femme !

[Jenny Beth]

Simple answer, not as passable as I was in my early thirties. But, and a big but, I learned early on that passing wasn't as important as being confident and not caring what people thought. To me passing is a state of mind, I used to think I passed because no one appeared to notice me but many did and no one ever made me feel like I should run and hide.

[Tasha McIntyre]

I just assume that I'm 0% percent passable.
I'm getting better at not worrying about it though.

That's me too :)

[thechic]

I don't think i would pass,my sister says i do but i think shes only being nice.
I only go out with the friends,that know about me. :drink::drink:

[michelle64]

any more who cares...i guess i have been read but nobody has really confronted me ever...i agree the driveup window is where i fail..but the girls in the choke and puke are laughing and so am i...they have always been super nice though....i have been out for years (so i know makeup and the mannerisms) so i know how to deal with it which anymore is a who gives a damn....several weeks ago i walked into catherines as michelle and was greeted like a lady and sent right to the dressing rooms with SA toting many outfits...last week i went in as me and the same SA backed off and would only say "whats her size..you dont know her size?..i then replied "i am michelle" and the look on the face of the SA said it all.."im so sorry i can only see that now since you spoke"....one thing i have learned and this came from a SA...."this store is for 40plus aged women..the problem you and i have is in our mind we dont feel 45"....that pretty much sums it up...one thing many need to know if your loaded with testosterome yes you will struggle..i have little if any facial and leg hair, hips and a big butt plus being 5'10 or 5'9....and a small head....i have had several SA tell me my size is proportined like a womens and you have a small head...in fact my wig SA says the biggest problem she sees is guys have huge heads and it is the #1 problem they have with getting read...i dunno...i am with many here..who cares and go out and have fun...my biggest problem is guys wanting to pick me up and thinking i am a lady..been there many times..i hate guys so thats a big issue with me

[JaytoJillian]

Interesting responses. I say forget about the pass/non pass thing and just get out there and dance like no one is looking. Sure, some are gonna want to play "spot the dude in the dress." The goal should be to present oneself well enough so that when it happens--and it will happen-- those who read you as a dude in a dress will have to admit, "dude looks pretty damned good in that dress."

Cheers,


Jill

[KelliBennett]

Not very these days. I get stared at all the time, sometimes even giggles. Most everyone is confused when they see me and are starting to get the pronouns wrong constantly.....

...Oh you mean when dressed as a woman! No issues there, it's when I am dressed as a guy I have issues.

*sigh* I am stuck playing him for a little while longer...

[Loni]

i am very passable in drab or dressed as i do not drive that fast...Oops you ment... i thought you ment in passing as in driving...:doh:

as for passing/blending...well lets just say i will not get that date, even after beer thirty. :eek:


:heehee::D


Loni.

[ReineD]

To pass or not to pass ....

Judging by the pics I see in the gallery, most of the CDs here are passable, as is my bf. She goes out frequently and has often commented (and I agree) that she does pass to most people. True some people have more acute gender radars than others, but for the most part, people go along with their busy lives not paying much attention to the people who fall within their periphery.

The next step as you mention, is when you order something. You feel your voice gives you away. If you work on softening it (just a bit ... it doesn't take all that much really), and you keep the sentences to a minimum, it is likely you will get served without most people raising their eyebrows. If they do wonder about anything, they will quickly stop thinking about it as soon as they move on to the next customer.

But here's the crunch. If you eventually want people to get to know you in femme mode, if you want deeper interactions than being assisted at a store or at restaurant, in short if you want to make friends outside the TG community, then it will entail having a real conversation with sustained attention to your facial expressions, body language, subtle voice intonations, etc ... and your natural attitudes and personality will shine through: the expressions you use, the topics you feel comfortable discussing. At this point, most people will know you are a CD.

This is not a bad thing. I prefer to think of it as the honest thing. The people that you meet while dressed who will want to be friends with you will have gone beyond the "oh wow, this is a CD" barrier. Believe it or not, there are many people out there who are perfectly comfortable with the idea that there are TGs, and there is no "ick" (can't think of a better word) factor at all. And if you are the first TG they've talked to, then your non-apologetic attitude, you non-attempts to hide who you are, and your pride in yourself will do more to dispel any misconceptions about CDs they might have to begin with.

So other than building your confidence, is passing really all that important or necessary? :2c:

:hugs:

[Leanne2]

I "sight" pass most of the time. However I "voice" pass about a third of the time. But a third is better than not at all. The last time I sight passed was today at the VA hospital to pick up some prescriptions. A man in line said," Ma'am, I think you are next." Leanne

[docrobbysherry]

:D

(That's on a scale of 1 to 100, of course!):o

[Byanca]

So other than building your confidence, is passing really all that important or necessary? :2c:

It will depend on the people one meet. How judgmental they are.

Often it may not matter. You can just move on and find someone more open. But sometimes it may matter. That it's really important that these thoughts don't cross their minds, as it's not relevant. Makes me feel extremely self conscious and uncomfortable. And trust me, I can tell. Even only on body language.

Wish it was not so. But people are people. There is not much you can do about them, so we have to do our self I suppose.

[ReineD]

Byanca, the trick is to find the friendlier places to hang out in. LGBT areas are TG friendly and they also attract the more open-minded mainstream people. Also, college towns are generally more liberal. After awhile you'll develop a sense for it all, you'll find a niche which you can then use as a base for expansion.

:hugs:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

This topic will forever be debated. I know some of us hate this topic, but it is so clearly a part of what we all deal with...

i know deeply suffering transwomen, that live as men because they won't pass...and frankly.. in real terms they wouldnt..but based on my experience they would have very successful female lives (not counting job issues we all seem to face)...they are middle aged people that are in desperate fear of not passing....this was my bugabooo for many many years...and when i finally forced myself out there...nothing bad happened, and i learned, and i grew in confidence.......and i did have some very embarrassing moments (falling in heels, car accident as busy intersection on my first day!!!!...)...still it was all fine in the end......do you pass or not pass??? i know you can't help thinking about it, but the best gift you can give to yourself is to try to never think of it again...


on the other hand
i've met a woman that came into my car, and to me looked completely like a man except for a pink belt eye makeup, and pink sneakers...we went for coffee and we got out of the car, she said, ohhh...i forgot, and got out of my car and took her wig out of her purse!!!! and just put it on her head, like a baseball cap!!...as we drank coffee , she informed that she completely passed everywhere, and showed me 100's of pictures....what can you say?

she is totally and completely oblivious to how people see her...she sees herself as a woman, and she is very happy with her life...she just assumes everyone see her that way she sees herself...what a great thing!

[AllThingsPretty]

If you met me as a man, you would never think that I could pass as a woman. But if I put a whole lot of effort into transforming myself, I get pretty close to passing. It does take me a HUGE amount of time to pull it off.

[eluuzion]

Whenever I find myself contemplating the "passable" issue in front of a mirror...

I always have the same thought jump up to the front of my thoughts...it goes something like this...

"Hey, when you were a kid, standing there in front of the mirror, in your blue pajamas with a red towel pinned around your neck...you were convinced you actually looked like Superman, too..."

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I can maybe slightly pull it off in still pictures at times depending on the angle. In the real world there's no way. To use the quote I look like a "line backer in a dress."

[Kendra (Tx)]

In my outings, I have garnered my fair share of attention...I don't really know if I classify as being somewhat "passble"....I do try to do my best with being somewhat subdued in my appearance and not trying to look like the proverbial "hooker in a leather mini"...lol....I'm more of the "soccer mom" or the "Lady Realtor" sort if the mood strikes....I have gotten the "knowing smile" from a nice GG on occasion or have gotten "checked out" by a gentleman or two as I've walked by...( That is usually a rush ) Maybe the attention is due to the fact that I'm 5'15" in my stockinged feet and I always wear heels...:heehee:..Oh well....Passing is usually about 90% "attitude" anyway...I just try to go out and enjoy being "me"..

http://kendra954.com

[Sedona]

Unless GGs suddenly run about 6' 3", 200 pounds, and wear size 16 tops AND size 10 bottoms, not very much at all. :sad:

Oh well!

[monika]

I might be somewhat passable in some pics, but I don`t think I`d be in real life.
I am a also quite tall and that would make it even harder!

Maybe sitting in a very dark club, not saying anything or moving I`d be passable:)

[laura.lapinski]

I'd love to give it a try and find out.

[theresa]

Probably no-one is 100% passable but I have been surprised that I have been largely unnoticed while shopping in typical department stores and eating out at nice restaurants. I've done this in several towns and quite a few different places just to see if my "passing" had anything to do with the town I was in or the place I was in. It doesnt seem to matter.

Of course there are the occasional second looks and nice smiles where someone suspects, but those are fairly rare. I actually havent noticed anyone taking a second look at me over the last month, even from a table of women sitting next to me at a restaurant. Perhaps they do notice me and just are ignoring me, I've watched for that but I really do think they just don't notice me at all.

I do dress down when I am out in an attempt to blend in to the environment and look age appropriate. This probably helps minimize any attention and probably helps minimize my being clocked

When I go to TG clubs at night dressed to the nines, people clock me right away, but of course I expect this since it's a TG club and only the CD'r dress up.

[ArleneRaquel]

If everyone around is afflected with poor eyesight I pass. :eek:

[crusadergirl]

i would be more passable with a mask. There some that can tell right away like one of my friends at my local comic book store. The clubs i have gone to didn't know i was a guy till i showed my id. Its hard to tell i guess it just depends on the person thats looking. I don't really have a girl voice if u watch my videos you can tell i don't sound like one.

[Byanca]

Byanca, the trick is to find the friendlier places to hang out in. LGBT areas are TG friendly and they also attract the more open-minded mainstream people. Also, college towns are generally more liberal. After awhile you'll develop a sense for it all, you'll find a niche which you can then use as a base for expansion.
:hugs:
This is very good advice. But does not work like that for me. I can't go at it this consciously. And I also stay away from organized groups, or groups in general. I prefer people to mix freely. That's why my efforts must be directed that way, even if it's a more difficult path.

[Jenny Doolittle]

I am 100% passable when I hang out at the "School for the Blind"

Other places, well not so much!

[msniki48]

Hmmmmm How passable am I?

well like everyone here has said, it shouldn't matter. but if you are trying to fly under the radar as i am, then it is somewhat important to me.

I guess 5 yrs ago, i was passable at 15 to 20 feet away.

Today, i'm lucky if i don't get clocked at to 50 to 60+ feet.:heehee:

i think my presentation is fine, it's just that age has not been kind, and the way this face is falling.... i probably look like Walter Mathau with a wig:o:sad:


needless to say, i have not been getting out much:daydreaming:

hugs


hug

[Suzy Harrison]

I think it doesn't matter if you look really good or not.

There will always be times you are read and also times when you are not.

I've gone for as long as 3 months full time with not a hint at any time of being read - and then one day, someone will notice.

I now have come to terms that's it's impossible to wipe your history and you just have to accept it will happen every now and again.

.....but I've also met a lot of real women who do look like guys - so sometimes people might suspect, but not really know one way or the other

[TGMarla]

I guess it's really a question for others to answer, not me. But I think I pass the casual glance in my direction. At first glance, I'm sure no one doubts I'm a woman. However, I tend to dress in nice clothing that makes people take a longer, more appealing look. Closer inspection would certainly give me away. I'm most self-concious about my hands. They're not very feminine, and even when I dress them up with some nice nails (that helps, believe me!), they're still not very delicate. I don't shave them, which would also help, but that's a different matter. Overall, I can go out and walk around, and not garner too much attention. But like I said, I don't pass upon closer scrutiny.

[ellenwannabe]

I want to thank all my sisters here for reading and adding their views here - I full well realize that most of us dress as we do because it's a part of us and not to impress anyone - I was just wondering how each of us feel we present when in public and you all had great input - it certainly seems that most of us have that manly voice - I think we just want to be ourselves and not stick out in the crowd - when CDed I feel so natural and absolutely love it - thanks again for your thoughts - I do not have a camera down in Fla. but will be returning north about May 1st and will try to post some pix if I can ( not great with computers) - Ellen

[Imogen_Mann]

Passable... Not since I was about 15. Too tall, to broad and 10 years shunting and manually coupling locomotives didn't help the feminine look. I'm not bitter. :Angry3:

[flic]

nope nope nope,,,not passable, and on a really really good day not bothered so much, i have to be who i am. on a bad day it hurts me more than anything, but i guess that's life right? I think i might have a better chance if i gave up my self awareness maybes.

x flic x

[Amanda Stubbs]

I'm as passable as a pantomime horse in a cow field! Yet I still go out whenever I can I convince myself "that'll do" and make the most of it. Occasionally I go out during daylight too and have even plucked up courage to go into motorway service stations for coffee etc, small local shops in other towns for sundries etc thuough before doing any of them it took ages "to go for it" and be dammed! I'm still working on shopping for clothes enfeme but have no problems when in drab. Usually though when out I keep myself to myself.

[weekend woman]

Do I pass? Not even on a good day, except maybe to a blind person. At least I have never sent anyone running away screaming "that's a man", well only once, and that was on purpose, that's another story. Do I care? Not really, it would be nice if I did once in a while, but it's not that important. If someone even thinks I might be female, close enough. If I get mam'ed that's ok too. If I blend into the scenery ok, if I don't oh well!The only thing that matters to me is how good I feel when out and dressed.

[tamarav]

We all interpret "passability" in our own manner, and we all have a different definition. I feel that the whole passability issue is an individual one, in which the subject feels good about their looks/mannerisms and does not get overtly impacted by negative statements from others.

Another of my attempts as my own pasaability was to apply for jobs and to work dressed. It really does open your eyes to what others see and how to act feminine beyond your own mirror at home.

I have now worked in the public for over 3 years as a hair stylist and makup artist, as well as working at Macy's during the holiday seasons. Passability is your ability to combine all the bits into a contant feminine person, almost like actually being female, what a concept!

[Sarah811]

Nope, not now or perhaps ever without proper help! It's been years since I wore anything outside, and then only in the car for a drive. However, recently I have been thinking and planning an excursion, and would love to get a decent wig, go for a drive or visit somewhere en femme. Trouble is I need soemone to help me with make-up, somewhere to dress and a reason not to come home that night!:o

[Yolanda_Voils]

It depends upon how well I do my Clothing, Makeup and Wig..

One time out in Chattanooga, I wore a beautiful pink flowered chiffon dress.
It was long and flowing.. still it did NOT work for me. I was outed by a woman from several feet away..

Other times when I took time to look my best I pass well.

One time a guy at walmart did a flip and Yelled WOW !

When I first started going out, I wanted to dress like a prostitute, this did not fare welll for my passing.

Getting into nice dresses or tight fitting pants helped me a LOT..

Lotsa Luck
Yolanda

BTW, all my pics posted now were taken at age 45-46. Now I'm 47

[gabimartini]

I only went out once and passed. Thankfully, I didn't need to talk or anything, as that would've given me away. Voice's exactly my main concern right now, and I'm working to improve it!

[Rachel2000]

As long as I don't open my mouth I'm fine. Always meant to try some of the voice exercises but somehow never got around to it.

[lanie5119]

I dont think im passable at all but im having fun...still enjoy dressing

[charlytuna]

I feel that I'm not passable. I take picture and all I see is a man with make up and a skiort I never out in public

[KarenS]

I feel like I pass pretty well if I put a look in the mirror at myself with a blindfold on. I can make myself feel very feminine but can never quite feel totally complete. I know I have a larger torso (heavy), square shoulders, larger hands, thicker neck and ankles, and carry myself a little too much like a male. :sad:. Doesn't matter too much to me. I try not to think about it too much and instead try to enjoy myself.

I went to a club downtown to meet another gurl in February. I went to the bar and ordered a drink from the GG bartender. Had to speak, no way around it. The gurl I went there to be with was with a man - a real gentleman. When we got ready to leave, the GG bartender came to me and my gurl friend and gave us each of us a hug without saying a word. :) I'm sure there were people there that wondered and some that knew but no one bothered us in any way.

I have been out for a walk on a popular street with several taverns and restaurants and been clocked for sure. The most obvious time there were some verbal comments between a couple of younger guys. I really didn't care too much what was said, but it spooked me enough to be more cautious. :straightface: I know I couldn't run in heals.

I think the only way I'll be able to pass is if I remember to use my blinker when changing. :o

[Kate17]

Women come in all shapes and sizes so those who worry about being fat or big, well just dress in appropiately. I try to dress my age and wear clothes that help hide my obvious male flaws. There are many great books on the subject. Another important factor is to practice your feminine mannerisms. If you forget and start walking like a gorilla in heat, it is a dead giveaway. I really don't know if I pass or not but like so many here, I try not to have that be the end all.