Vacation planning... CD dilemma

[Jessy]

With the spring coming, and the summer probably after it again, I figured it was time to think about this year's vacation plans. My friends are all going with their SO's, which leaves me alone since I don't have a SO myself. But I figured not to let it stop me from going some place far away, meeting new people, relaxing, and having a good time! :D

And suddenly it struck me. There's travels especially for LGBT! Since my feminine side is currently locked in the isolation cell with my house mates home way too much, how nice would it be to book a LGBT oriented vacation and spend some quality time as Jessy? :daydreaming:
It would make a good first step into the open as well. And here's the beauty... Since I plan to go some place far away, and I know what all my friends have booked, I don't need to worry about running into anyone I know.

However, thinking it all through made me stumble over some doubts. First of all, sneaking my luggage into a plane with a friend at customs and a brother at airport security. But most of all, the vacation itself. Would I really fit in? Sure, I could be myself the whole time, no doubt about it. But what about the social aspect? The way I see it, CD is still a really different thing than the LGB part. And I wouldn't be surprised that the LGB people will have plenty of their own affairs going on, like their own partners or meeting up with people. And since I'm hetero, I wouldn't fit in that good, I'm afraid. Also looking at the LGBT groups from my area, the T part is only a very small part of it. And most of it are drag queens, that do it just for the show. And few real TS maybe. And drag queens and show isn't really my thing. So would it really be a good idea? I don't know... I can't see what a vacation like this would look like.

Then again, let's analyze the other option, just a normal vacation, going in drab. But would I fit in there? In drab, a part of myself just always seems sealed away, and I seem to fail in unlocking that part. And my social skills are among them. I don't know what I'm afraid of to loose, but it just never works out and I seem a magnet to bad experiences, where as Jessy, I have a total nothing-to-loose attitude and don't care about anything like that.

Now I'm a bit stuck with a tough choice.
Would I go for LGBT, as Jessy, feeling good about being myself but maybe not fully fitting in with the community?
Or would I go for normal, in drab, risking that I'm chickening out of about every social contact, ending up feeling lonely?

[Katie1234]

go as Jessy

[Nicole Erin]

It is a ways off but have you thought about SCC? Perfect way to go as Jessy and meet a ton of sisters. Heh, if you went to SCC NOT en femme, you would not fit in.

I think SCC is in September and somewhere in the state of Georgia

[ReineD]

Another option would be to spend a week in a city within driving distance. And if it is under a few hours away, you can start planning now, even drive to a few of the venues ahead of time on weekends to check them out in guy mode. Places like restaurants, cafes, shopping, galleries, etc. There are LGBT areas in most cities that are TG friendly, and they provide a nice mix of the more tolerant mainstream folks too.

:hugs:

[Jessy]

Nicole I'm not from the USA, so I'd probably not worry in any state there :heehee:

SCC sounds fun, trying to find some more details about it. Their site looks a bit messy in my browser... Anyway it sounds like a really interesting event to go to and I will still consider it. However it's not quite what I had in mind for a summer vacation ;)

Reine I appreciate the suggestion, but I must confess that I had set my mind on a trip way further. I haven't been on a real vacation for quite some time. As for visiting cities within driving distance, I do that all the time. I doubt I'd feel comfortable going out in the open there though. The further from home, the better haha ;)

By the way, don't get me wrong. My main problem is the doubt between the 2 options. Those 2 people at customs and security I can get around.

[Brandi Wyne]

I may venture into a vacation of sorts like that. I am thinking of taking a cruise this year. It will be the first year I spend without my S.O. The thing that would make that better would be to share it with at least ONE other CD girl; maybe several to travel together. Who knows?

Have fun and keep us posted on your travels.

[AllieSF]

First of all, I think that you may be just over thinking this. First, contact all the LGBT organizations regarding what they do for group vacations. Ask all the questions that you want, including timing, costs, venues, activities, free time and organized time. Then you will know if those vacations make sense to you. One thing I have seen with these type of group activities (from my personal limited meetings and social events experience, plus what I have read here, including a group cruise event) is that everyone has a fabulous time and they all get to interface and interact with others outside of their group. They are like an enlarged family and really do look after one another. Plus, you always have the security of a larger group when your own confidence starts to weaken at some point.

If the group idea doesn't seem to be to your liking, then you could plan a vacation to some interesting Tfriendly location. I have read here about several that have festivals and conferences during the summer months, including Saugatuck, Michigan located on the shores of southern Lake Michigan just north of the Indiana border (this one may be held in April or early May), something up near Cape Cod, the SCC conference as mentioned by someone else here, a conference held in Chicago, etc. If that doesn't work, how about trying to hook up with some members here who live in T friendly areas that you would like to visit. You could then easily mix drab with en femme depending on the venue and activity. Good luck.

[Jessy]

That crossed my mind too. Would be nice to have one or more CD girls along. Unfortunately I don't know any in my area.
If I really go through with it, then I'll be sure to post about it, and probably some pictures too!

Allie thanks for the information, and I guess you're right that it would be a good idea to start asking around for information. As for group activities, I'm fine with everything, as long as I have enough free time of my own as well ;)

[Cassandra Lynn]

Yeah i would definitely look into the LGBT trip, just for the reason it's an organized event where you never have to worry about what ppl may think or running into someone you know. Get educated as mentioned and see about talking to some who have done it. mj (Cassie)

[DeeArel]

I like to just go to a metropolitan area and hang out on vacation. No one knows me and the stores are freindly. Many activities going on for us. You just need to do some research on the web for the best dates.

Traveling, you can always drive to the next city to depart. Personally, I carry my clothes on most trips and don't care what the luggage screeners think. You could schedule departure on a day your kin don't work.

Transformation boutiques are good resources for leaning what local activities take place. Many have special gatherings regularly. All the sisters are friendly and will welcome you if not take you under their wing. They will steer you to the best activities and friendly haunts.

I like San Jose and Chicago. Island girls meet on the first Wednesday in the Windy of the month if memory is correct at a local pub. Lady named Carla in San Jose has a lunch on Thursday each week in San Jose. There is also an invitation only gathering on Wednesday night in that area. You must call the hostess in advance for an invite.

A little research on the web and you will find more opportunities.

[Sedona]

I was just about to post pretty much what DeeArel above posted.

Jersey's filled with large airports nearby. Lots of places to fly out of. San Jose and Chicago would be great, as would Seattle, San Francisco, Portland, OR, and lots of other places (perhaps you have a trusted old friend living in a far-off city?)

[Staci G]

First go to a different airport, then after you have picked your city of choice, preferably a LGBT friendly one get info on the local venues that are trans friendly. I just moved to Asheville NC in September and just last night learned of a very trans welcoming place to go last night. So that being said you may want to start getting that info soon. Then after you arrive get to your hotel and pull Jessy out of the suitcase and have a great time.

[lavistaa62]

I can speak a bit to the L part since I grew up with lesbian parents and have been along on these sorts of retreats. The gay (guy) participants tend to be either settled with a partner or out for a romp. The L part tend to be again either with a partner or out to see the scenery and relax while just being themselves. I used to hang with these sorts and became great friends with several of them- my longest lasting friendships actually. Many of them dated men, despite not really being into it, for either family or other social issues. This was especially prevalent among the women from the US South.

So I'd think the LBGT (or is it LGBT- whichever) has a decent chance of working out well for you socially. Of course you get to be Jenny as well and that has to be a great release in and of itself. Imagine a whole week to be yourself esp as Jenny tends to be more outgoing than your male personna.

Here's hoping you take the plunge and tell us all about it. We're looking forward to hearing about the great time you had.

[lavistaa62]

I can speak a bit to the L part since I grew up with lesbian parents and have been along on these sorts of retreats. The gay (guy) participants tend to be either settled with a partner or out for a romp. The L part tend to be again either with a partner or out to see the scenery and experience while just being themselves. I used to hang with these sorts and became great friends with several of them- my longest lasting friendships actually. Many of them dated men, despite not really being into it, for either family or other social issues. This was especially prevalent among the women from the US South and Ireland. I imagine it's also the case with women from the more conservative parts of Europe, Russia, Korea and so on. I'm sure there's someone here who can speak to how lesbians are treated in those parts of the world.

So I'd think the LBGT (or is it LGBT- whichever) has a decent chance of working out well for you socially. Of course you get to be Jenny as well and that has to be a great release in and of itself. Imagine a whole week to be yourself esp as Jenny tends to be more outgoing than your male personna.

Here's hoping you take the plunge and tell us all about it. We're looking forward to hearing about the great time you had.

[Jessy]

Thanks for all the input, it did help a lot. I'm gonna start looking into it and contact some LGBT groups for more information first, then I'll see what the possibilities are.

[CamilleLeon]

Let Jessy out for awhile! I think that a LGBT oriented getaway would be fine. It might be a little odd for them at first, but I'm sure after a day they'd accept you. People that live with secrets like we all do tend to be understanding. I think you'll be happy you did it if you find a way. As for the airport, you shouldn't have a problem with it, unless you're trying to fly en femme. They aren't going to check any luggage you hand to them and if you don't have anything in your carry ons you'll be fine.

[Melanie R]

You can join many of us October 30-November 4 on the Tri-Ess Holiday at Sea sailing from New Orleans on the Carnival Triumph. You do not have to be a member of Tri-Ess to book. More info at www.pmpub.com/holidayatsea.htm. The group will be around 80 crossdressers and many wives/partners among 2000 other passengers with non-stop Halloween parties. Lower cost than most of the TG conferences. Being enfemme for 5 days on a luxury ship is the ultimate experience.

[sherri52]

You could go to one of the conferences held across hte country or go to an area where there are a lot of CD's. Orange county Ca. or Tampa come in mind. They both have a lot to do and many girls on this site that would love to have your company. Go as Jesse and enjoy what life has to offer

[TGMarla]

Wow.....You're WAY over-alalyzing this. It's normal for doubts to creep in when you're preparing to do something wild that you've always wanted to do. Ignore the petty small stuff. These doubts of yours are very minor "what-ifs". It's your world. Do as you please. It's your vacation. And this is quite an opportunity.

[Jessy]

Yeah, you're right. It's just a bit of a big step. And I don't mean the CD part, I mean the whole vacation thing. I've never gone on a vacation alone so far, there's noone available to come with me, and I'm just scared of the amount of things I have to take care of to get it all arranged and to be ready for it. It happened too many times that I just forgot about little details and got myself stuck.

But I know what people say... If you put your mind to it, you can do it. So that's what I plan to ;)

[Karen564]

There was a TG group that had vacation packages in Provincetown MA...but not sure if it's still active, may wanna check on-line.....

They seemed like a good bunch, and you get to socialize, day trips, site seeing, shopping, lunches, dinners..fun activities...contests.....

Everyone that goes, apparently leaves feeling accomplished...

Anyway, just throwing you another bone to chew on...

:battingeyelashes:

[SexiBobbi]

Jessy,
Why not a third option? Simply find a place you want to visit and go. Why does it have to be with a LGBT group? You are not going to know anyone anyway.
Just search the internet to find hotels near the section of whatever city were the gay community is.

[Jessy]

It doesn't have to be with a LGBT group. I just considered it because it might make me feel more comfortable getting in touch with other people.

It all seems harder than it seemed at first though. Contacting local LGBT groups didn't get me anywhere, neither did research on the internet. But then again, it's the first time planning a vacation all alone and I guess I underestimated it a bit...

[Cassandra Lynn]

It all seems harder than it seemed at first though. Contacting local LGBT groups didn't get me anywhere, neither did research on the internet. But then again, it's the first time planning a vacation all alone and I guess I underestimated it a bit...

I have emailed GLBT as well and never received any replies back, in fact i have made inquiries for info with Tri-Ess also and nothing. I thought the operative word was "support group". mj (Cassie)

[Jessy]

I've just gone to a local gay bar to find information about the LGBT community. I was in drab, and I am hetero myself, but I was received with a warm welcome and got to talk to some people.

Unfortunately, it was a bit as I feared. Although I had a nice talk with some people, it didn't really get me closer to my goal. It seems there aren't really events for Tgirls in my area, and the LGBT events are mainly for homosexuals. I probably said it before... it's hard to believe there aren't any Tgirls here, but apparently they must be really closeted.

[RachelPortugal]

[QUOTE=Byanca;2105707]I was just in Venice. Unbelievable how nice people was to me. And I have no illusion that I was passing, people just didnt seem to care, or rather the opposite, they liked it. Trying shoes, or just drinking vine in the park. I was hit on by an older gentleman when the sun was about to set, and followed him home. My first time, now I truly feel like a woman :o I'm rather worked up about the whole thing still. Italian men knows how to handle a woman, that's for sure.
QUOTE]

Hi Jessy,

Why not check out Byanca's picture post. Venice sounds like a CD friendly place for a vacation.

Love

Rachael

[CharleneT]

. . .

Unfortunately, it was a bit as I feared. Although I had a nice talk with some people, it didn't really get me closer to my goal. It seems there aren't really events for Tgirls in my area, and the LGBT events are mainly for homosexuals. I probably said it before... it's hard to believe there aren't any Tgirls here, but apparently they must be really closeted.

Not sure where you live, but I bet there are many more Tgirls than you think. Those closeted are well...secret, and those post-op or pre-op that blend well ... well ya can't see 'em ;) The rest tend to be very careful or don't go out a lot.

It may take a while to work your way into the local LGBT groups. It is not unusual for them to be a bit on the standoffish side.

As for the trip, even though you have not vacationed alone, I'd go with the plan you have. Just take a long a few drab clothes in case you feel you need to back off. BUT the idea of being on a cruise, may make traveling alone easier.

C.

p.s. For practice and as a "shake down cruise" you might want to try a day trip somewhere "close enough, but far enough". It will help with planning a longer time enfemme, as well give you an idea of the various how-to's and how they work for you.

[Jessy]

A cruise would certainly be an interesting option indeed.

I made some progress in looking into local LGBT support groups... well as far as I can call it progress. I found a national organisation for transgenders, so I contacted them for information about support groups.
The woman I spoke to was very friendly. Unfortunately she told me that in our country, really about 99% is closeted and it can be hard finding other people. There used to be a support group in my area, but because there weren't many people going to it, they stopped it :( There's 1 very good group but it's a 4 hours drive away from me. And that's just a bit far for just a few hours meeting in the evening, having to drive back another 4 hours at night.

Been looking into LGBT cruises too now. But it's all in the US only, it seems. And I doubt I'd feel comfortable going out as Jessy on a "normal" cruise...

To be honest, I've put the whole vacation idea aside for now... again. Got a lot of other problems to deal with right now and things don't seem to work out too well...

[suchacutie]

There are many places in the world where the unusual is the expectation: New Orleans and San Francisco come to mind immediately. I wondered if you had considered the option of hitting a city like one of those, getting a makeover after a couple of days, and then spending the rest of the time as Jessy, knowing that if you wanted to transform back to a male you could.

Regardless, it all sounds terrific!

tina

[Melanie R]

A cruise would certainly be an interesting option indeed.

I made some progress in looking into local LGBT support groups... well as far as I can call it progress. I found a national organisation for transgenders, so I contacted them for information about support groups.
The woman I spoke to was very friendly. Unfortunately she told me that in our country, really about 99% is closeted and it can be hard finding other people. There used to be a support group in my area, but because there weren't many people going to it, they stopped it :( There's 1 very good group but it's a 4 hours drive away from me. And that's just a bit far for just a few hours meeting in the evening, having to drive back another 4 hours at night.

Been looking into LGBT cruises too now. But it's all in the US only, it seems. And I doubt I'd feel comfortable going out as Jessy on a "normal" cruise...

To be honest, I've put the whole vacation idea aside for now... again. Got a lot of other problems to deal with right now and things don't seem to work out too well...

Jessy,

Where do you live? We have one of our Dignity cruises in August sailing 12 days RT from London to St. Petersburg and a 14 day cruise sailing from London to Boston with stops in France, Ireland, Iceland, Newfoundland and Nova Scotia.