Surprised

[Nigella]

This thread is for those who have "come out". If you are still firmly in the closet, please do not respond

An input from knowing SOs would also be welcome because your answer may be different from your partner.

There have been a number of threads recently about coming out. My question is this, out of all those who you have come out to, who surprised you the most and why?

I will add my response a little later.

[sherri52]

Had to be my GF while in Fl. Once I told her she asked to see me dressed and then wanted to do my makeup. This was the first GG that I knew that wanted to help and go out

[CamilleLeon]

I haven't had any really big surprises from those I've told. I was pretty sure it wouldn't bother my SO too much. What's surprised me is how strong and helpful her support has been, but this took time so it was more of a process than a surprise. I told my parents a few days ago so I haven't had time to tell how things might change between us, but they said they were supportive and that it didn't change anything. I was pretty sure they'd be alright with it so that wasn't much of a surprise.

The biggest surprise has been a friend of mine that's dropped a few hints that he knows, but I'm not sure how he would. But that's a different story

[jenifer m.]

my wifes sister was pretty floored.she just wouldent believe it till i actually wore kneehighs and clogs with girls jeans over to her house.then i guess it sank in,then i got the whole battery of questions of course.but the wife kinda always knew.i just added more things over time till i fully came out to her about a year and a half ago.now she knows all about jenifer.

[StaceyJane]

My youngest daughter because she has been very supportive of me.

[Tina B.]

I've only come out to my wife, but she did surprise me, by immediately expressing total support, and excepting me as I am. The day I told her, after a short talk, and answering a few questions, she took me shopping and bought me all I needed to start off down this road. When we got home she wanted to see what we had brought home, on me. That first time was so scary, but when I came out surprise number two. She told me I looked cute, and she liked the way my new dress looked on me. With the support I have had from her, I have never felt the need to share this part of me with anyone else.
Tina B.

[kaitlin]

I would have to say it was my wifes baby sister.(makes her about 29 at the time this happened) She had came over for lunch one day, while we were eating she dropped her fork and when she sat back up she looked at my wife grinning from ear to ear and then looked at me and said "are your toenails painted?" It seems you could see through my socks, in the sun light, a little better than I thought! We told her everything and she wanted to see me fully dressed ASAP. She loved it! I never would have thought she would do anything short of freaking out:eek:, but I was wrong!:)

[Danielle Gee]

I came out to my wife about 30 years ago, after a long campaign to get her wondering about my masculinity. I’ve told my story before in other posts, but since you asked…..

I was a factory worker and my wife worked in the local hospital emergency room. I got home @ 3pm and she arrived around 6pm. That allowed me 3 hours per day to be “Danielle” and I made the most of them. I cleaned the home, did the laundry, and tried my best to have a scrumptious meal on the table when she arrived (along with a Martini) She had a very stressful job and my efforts were greatly appreciated by her.

One evening after a particularly rough day she looked at me and said,”You’d make somebody a good wife” I smiled at her and said “There’s something I need to tell you…..” And the rest as they say is history.

Her reaction began as “Not Believing” her ears to conditional acceptance in a period of one evening; it was arraigned for me to be Danielle the very next evening. So the next day I came home, transformed into Danielle, performed my usual routine. And waited

She greeted Danielle as if it was the most normal thing in the world, and it has remained thus ever since.

I try very hard to balance my CD’ing with my male responsibilities and except for some minor disagreements and spats our life has been most excellent.

Danielle

[Andrea's Lynne]

I'm out to my wonderful and amazing bride! She has been so supportive and accepting, and I have enjoyed being able to be her masculine and protective man as well as her adoring girlfriend. She still sees me as her hubby, but we have fun being girly together from time to time. I am truly blessed to go through life with her....and I don't feel the need to "come out" to others

[Jenny Beth]

Definitely my daughter. But I didn't actually come out to her, she snooped and found some of my things including some photos of me dressed. She was 16 at the time and all hell broke loose and she didn't want to discuss anything about it. To make a long story short she went back to live with her mother (previous relationship) and we didn't talk for years. She's now 32 and several years ago we finally had a talk, she surprised the hell out of me saying it didn't bother her anymore and her biggest problem was that I hid it from her. So I thought I'd test the waters and asked her what she'd think of seeing me dressed. She replied that she wouldn't have a problem with it. A month or two later we made arrangements to meet at a club and she brought a girlfriend along. Since then when she visits she often brings one her her best friends who has done a makeover on me. I wrote about that once here somewhere. Anyway in answer to your question as to who and why, the answer is simple. I can be myself with my daughter (and a few of her friends) without fear or embarrassment of how I choose to dress. I couldn't ask for more than that.

[jasmine57]

Funny you should ask.
I came out to my sister and brother-in-law last week. I answered all their questions honestly and let them know that this has been a way of life for me since I was young. My sister said she would have to look it up on the intrnet to get a fuller understanding of what I was going through. I should have seen that as a red flag.
Then I get a phone call this morning from my sister. She said she wanted to discuss what we had talked about last week. I said fine and was prepared to answer more questions. But she informs me that she had struggled with what I had told her. I appologized for putting any undo stress on her and let her know that, that wasn't my intent. She said she knew how hard it had to be for me to come out to them. Then she informed me that she had told another of my sisters who she is very close to, and that they had gone to their prayer meeting and asked their intructor to help themget guidance "for my sake". She also informed me that after their prayer meeting that she had shared what I had told her with two other sisters and my brother. I was floored and speachless. She said that they all "still loved me". The words that came to me had nothing to do with love but I bit my tongue. She said she didn't want the family being broken up over this and thought it better that she told everyone than if they found out somewhere else. Again, I bit my tongue.
After I we hung up, I just sat here shaking. I feel like my world ha been turned upside down. If I was going to come out to everyone I would have done it on my terms where I could answer questions and assure them that I am the same person I was before they knew anything. I feel betrayed beyond belief, but I guess the Bible she was reading only says betrayal is wrong if it affects you.
Anyways, that has been my biggest surprise. All my other friends have been very understanding.

Nigella- I didn't mean to put a negative twist on your thread.

[Alexei]

So far I've personally told two therapists, my parents, and three friends. When I told my mom, her initial reaction was confusion, but she grew to accept it over time. Everyone else though had an identical reaction: "ok. so?" 6 out of the first 7 people took the news as if it doesn't change our relationship at all. That's a good thing, in case it's not clear. It surprised me because I expected more confusion and questions. Instead I got next to nothing. One of those friends I told yesterday afternoon, then last night before he left I asked if he was sure he didn't have any questions and his response was "In the last 24 hours, nothing's changed. You're the same person"

[Nigella]

The one person who surprised us, Sandra and I, was our next door neighbour. Shortly before coming out, a Portugese Transexual won the UK TV programme Big Brother. Our next door neighbour is Portugese and a typical hot blooded macho male. His response to her winning was not very positive, the typical Joe Public perception. It certainly was very disheartening to hear this.

Anyway we decided that it was time to tell all those who could or would be affected by my TGism, and at the time our thoughts turned to his reaction to the big brother result.

We chose our home as the safe ground, left the door open so they could leave if they wanted to and told them.

The reaction we got?

Is that all, we thought you were going to tell us you were moving. What an anti climax.

The kids were just as good, and I got be called auntle Nigella until they got used to seeing me, now it is Auntie Nigella.

[Rianna Humble]

Until a few days ago, I would have said a GG who works for the same manager in a different team becase she encouraged me to start coming out at work.

Now I have to say that the reaction that surprised me most was when I came out to my 88 year old father. I did this with a lot of fear and trepidation in case I caused him hurt or anguish. After I had explained to him about being transgendered, his comment was "I'm sorry for the pain you have been through, but you are who you are and that's all I need to say".

There will almost certainly be more questions when he has had time to mull over what I told him, but his reaction was a million miles from what I had expected. :w00t:

[Alice B]

I first came out to my wife and over time she has become very accepting of my need to dress. Since then (in the past year) I have let our entire family know and all of them have been very accepting. I do not plan to dress around them, but the simple fact of letting them know reduces a lot of hidden stress. I also have two female friends and their spouses that also know and they are also very accepting.

[Sandra]

Alice

So how was you surprised ? which is what is being asked :)

[t-girlxsophie]

Im afraid no one has Suprised me with their reactions in my Family,Most has been the way I expected.Nothing really bad but not approval either.I have learned to accept that as the way its always going to be

But at work,I have been suprised far more,I did tell a few of the Girls I work with about me,and they were great,But I since found out that almost all my Night Shift had known about my dressing for some while,inc the guys that tell the sexist,gay bashing jokes and no-one has ever said a bad word to me

I dont know why It should work out like that,but I have to take it as being that way,and get on with it

[Jenniferpl]

No real real surprise here. Only out to my wife and she has been nothing but supportive.

[suchacutie]

Nothing could possibly ever stop me more dead in my tracks as the very first time I dressed, and it was for my wife. It was just lingerie and 6" platforms, no makeup, no hair, no forms... Her immediate response (I've mentioned this before but I love repeating it :) ):

Those legs are incredible!!! We NEED to buy you a dress.

How long I stood there with my mouth hanging open I have no idea, but I can't imagine ever topping that first and totally unrehearsed response!

I do love her so!

tina

[Jeannie]

I have answered this kind of question before here. I am only out to my wife and that was a huge accomplishment. It went extremely well and now when we go shopping she looks at things for me and we talk about CDing a lot. I tell her every chance I get how wonderful she is and how much I love her. She opened her closet to Jeannie and we now share almost everything except underwear. I am very happy now that I don't have to hide this part of me.

Jeannie

[AliceJaneInNewcastle]

I've come out to a lot of people I know. Some responses have surprised me, including my wife (while dating, long before getting engaged), who responded with "Oh, is that all? I thought maybe you were bi." Apparently she knew that there was something different about me but wasn't sure what.

An older couple of friends were surprising. He is the hairiest person I've ever known, but when I came out to them, half expecting to be told to get out and never come back, they were fine with it. She then told me that her gay uncle had been in Les Girls (drag show in Sydney) until he had to quit because of his arthritis!

My sister was told by either my mother or my (and her) niece. She appeared supportive and positive, joking that if I was giving any more wigs away, I should give them to her (I'd given a long scruffy black one to my mother). The surprise was that she asked nicely for a link to my photos online, then promptly emailed the link to all of my immediate relatives. That was a couple of years ago. I'm thinking that I really should send her an email to thank her for doing that. It has worked out quite well. Certainly far better than I expected when she did it. :)