Spotted a trans girl at the MAC store.

[Katesback]

Last weekend Danella and I were very busy, doing the AIDS walk and a ton of other things. We did get a chance to stop at the MAC cosmetics store (my downfall) and I brought a couple things there. As we were looking at the goods, a girl walked into the store. I cannot say that my trans radar is that good but she REALLY did make my alarm go off.

I quietly pointed her out to Danella and she agreed with my assesment. If I had to guess I would say she was a CD. We casually watched her for a bit and she had a lot of telltale signs. Perhaps it was the sunglasses indoors, perhaps it was the walk, perhaps it was a variety of things. This brought back memories of my early days of transition as well as crossdressing. I mentioned to Danella that the girl had more guts than I ever did when I was crossdressing. I myself was scarred as hell to go out so I give that girl a lot of credit for being in the world for all to see!

I would have loved to say hi to her but for all intensive purposes there really isnt a good reason to do so. By the way I am plugging away at the new Derby girls web site and if ya care to see our AIDS walk photo it is the bottom pic on the PHOTO tab. Also if ya wish to see my pic and crazy bio you can see it under the TEAM tab. http://www.goldcoastderbygrrls.com/

As always Hugs:
Katie
SNIP-SNIP

[lavistaa62]

What is the consensus at least among us here- if you were radar'd by a fellow CD, would you prefer to be or not to be approached.

I've only been out once so hard to say for me. I think if the setting allowed a quick private chat then yes so the world would seem a little less looming and hostile. Private wouldn't necessarily out of sight from everyone- two people talking in a department store for instance would not seem out of place to others and it's noisy enough so nobody would be able to overhear.

[carolinoakland]

The problem is that by recognizing them you are outting them, I try to deal with it as two women meeting for the first time. talk about her dress or her shoes. I love to be complimented on my earrings. I cherish my female friendships. Carol.

[EnglishRose]

There was a recent thread on approaching, and the consensus seemed to be at the very most only to give a friendly greeting or compliment, as you might anybody else. I don't think I'd mind myself, at this juncture, but the same most certainly does not go for everybody else.

I'm pretty sure I clocked a transwoman at a takeout restaurant last week, but I didn't give doing anything about it a thought.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

i don't think its enough of a reason to introduce yourself, and its a real risk that you will make that person feel terrible..

if you were bald, and you see a bald person, would you go up and say hi because you are both bald...if you happened to make contact, you might have a knowing comment or smile, but seeing a transperson and walking up and greeting them is not something i would do myself

maybe that trans person sees you and is leaving you alone
hehe

[Natalia]

I'm waiting for the "Out and About" thread where a member talks about being watched while shopping at the Mac store...:heehee:

[tamarav]

Fortunately, I work in the beauty industry, which tends to remove many barriers. I rountinely compliment women on thier choice of hair style, makeup, shoes, whatever catches my eye. I am fairly cautious with CDs and obviously panicky members simply because it can be a harrowing experience to be singled out and talked to, by anyone.

Since I occasionally work for MAC, I get to meet a lot of our sisters, some on this board and many not. Those I approach only as a makeup artist, not a "Tranny spotter". Many are glad to see that I am one of their sisters, but I don't push the sisterhood unless they are calm and able to express themselves.

Many of us go out with such fear in our hearts that anyone that even looks at us makes us tend to crawl for cover. That is something that we all have to overcome...

A smile can open the way for continued contact.

[Phyliss Hdson]

Well it was not me. LOL I have not had the chance to wear my new things out yet, but I will be back in Florida on Wed and will have the boat to myself for a few days. See ya'll soon.

Hugs Phyliss

[AllieSF]

I would not have a problem if a sister approached me while I was out dressed. I would hope that she would do so nicely, politely and quietly! I have run into guys shopping for women's clothes in thrift stores and just let them do their thing as I do mine. I have talked to a couple about some item in the store, but that was it. No winks, sly smiles, etc. Just two people in light conversation.

[minalost]

I would not have a problem if a sister approached me while I was out dressed. I would hope that she would do so nicely, politely and quietly!

I wouldn't approach a sister and out her, but I don't think I would have a problem being approached so long as it was done discreetly. "I like your shoes/dress/hair would be a good lead... Wouldn't mind making a few local freinds! Okay, now I need to wear a sign that says "I'm a crossdresser - okay for other CDs to approach!" :D
:hugs:

[Kaz]

I suspect the emerging consensus will be that some find it okay... others not.

In my short forays, I haven't registered being "clocked". I have been smiled at by a few guys, but nothing on the tranny radar on receive mode (but would I?). Result... my confidence builds.

I have clocked a few CDs in the last few years but not that many (and I have been looking!). What I found interesting as I "observed" the bigger picture was that no-one was giving them anything other than "normal" attention.

My feeling was... "go girl!" - live it, do it!

I suspect I have been in the presence of many more CDs who I didn't clock... and if we clock the ones who are "passing" least well (well at least to our antennae)... would they really want to be approached other than with non-CD compliments?

I agree with the girls above that if you feel you need to make contact... do it girl to girl, NOT CD to CD. It also gives them the opportunity to clock us and feel good too!

Love Kaz xx

[Nicole Erin]

The problem is that by recognizing them you are outting them, I try to deal with it as two women meeting for the first time. talk about her dress or her shoes. I love to be complimented on my earrings. I cherish my female friendships. Carol.

This is the best response ever about meeting other TG.
Two women. Good first impression, good way to start a possible friendship.

[christinek]

If you read the "Lazy Crossdresser" By Charles Anders she covers this situation and dating in such a similar situation. The CD gives up the very passible post op TG and it was noted in the book as a pulped thumb! Meeting each other is a great thing, however it can be very awkward for one of you! :o

[divamissz]

Unless I know someone personally and know they're out, I allow people to have their privacy. I have been in places where I saw someone I thought was a tgirl. If they were looking at me or passing by, I would say "hi" or smile, just like I'd do to another woman.

[jenifer m.]

What is the consensus at least among us here- if you were radar'd by a fellow CD, would you prefer to be or not to be approached.

I've only been out once so hard to say for me. I think if the setting allowed a quick private chat then yes so the world would seem a little less looming and hostile. Private wouldn't necessarily out of sight from everyone- two people talking in a department store for instance would not seem out of place to others and it's noisy enough so nobody would be able to overhear.

if im ever spotted i would love to be approched,even if they just saw hose under my jeans or something.

[susants]

I go out a lot 2 or 3 times a mo I know I don't pass great but i like to think i look good as a transgender person
So if someone would like to say hi or give me a smile that's ok
I think if they want to talk with me it means they are ok with transgender and i think that is great
Just my two cents
Susan

[Sarah811]

Perhaps what we need is the same as the early christians used, a secret sign (the used the fish as the word for fish in Greek is very similar to the word for Jesus) on a broach or pin badge that we could put on to signal to someone that we "know" them and they can approach us?

[suchacutie]

I've only run into one of us by accident a couple of times, and I acted as I would have wanted others to act: I was in drab and I simply had polite conversation as I would with anyone else. Nothing special, nothing out of the ordinary, and nothing that would indicate that they were anything but what they were presenting. What better actions could we take but to take no action at all that would be different from anyone else? I think that's the best support in the world! I hope I helped to make their day by being ordinary!

tina

[Hope]

The answer here is so obvious. Why don't people consider the consequences of their actions BEFORE they act?

So what exactly are you going to say to this girl?

Essentially it is going to be: "Hey - I know you're a guy!" or "You're not passing! - haha, I spotted you!" Just what every girl here wants to hear when she is out. How many threads are there posted here where someone laments an experience like that - or is afraid of it? Why would anyone here want to do that to someone else?

And what if you are wrong? What if that person you are SURE is CD / TS ISN'T? THEN you have just REALLY made some woman's day "Hey - you look like a guy in a dress!" Awesome.

There is no way this ends well.

If you are going to go talk to a girl, don't out her, don't tell her you know her super-special secret, don't try to flash the secret sign or give her the secret handshake... go and talk to her like you would any other woman. Sure, you may not get to swap phone numbers (unless that would be your goal with any other woman) or get to identify a new member of your club, but you aren't going to ruin someone else's day either.

[patti.jean]

I would treat any CD in public just like any lady. Complement then on something they are wearing, their makeup, jewelry, or handbag. Then see where the conversation goes. I always try to complement GGs when I admire something about them. I know sometimes GGs may find it strange to have a male complement them on some detail about them, such as a nail color, top, or jewelry but it is always appreciated.

[sherri52]

I would rather have someone come up to me. I don't really pass but they may have an idea for me that would help

[Genifer Teal]

I would rather have someone come up to me. I don't really pass but they may have an idea for me that would help


My initial thought after reading the title was "Duh!" Next you will find one in a tranny bar and be really surprised. On a more serious note, I am a friendly person. Come say hello. As long as it's not a punch buggy type reaction. Look over there, a tall one! <Bam!> - Punches friend in shoulder. What is best to say? I'm not sure. Perhaps a compliment or two about my appearance. Maybe tell something about yourself. Maybe, have I see you at (mention something/somewhere trans related). That way you reveal you are part of the community as well.

Gen

[Engendered]

Essentially it is going to be: "Hey - I know you're a guy!"

I'd keep this in mind before approaching someone. If someone is out there and it looks like they're trying to blend in and pass as well as possible, the last thing they want is someone coming up to them with a knowing look. Talk about making them super paranoid about their look for the rest of their outing. And *no* amount of complimenting them will make up for it. The biggest compliment a CDer can get most of the time, is not getting a second look.

Before someone mentions honesty and constructive criticism, the time and place for that is when a person has the opportunity to change it (ie..at home, or when they ask for it online), not in the middle of a mall.

If the person isn't trying to pass, and just seems to be out having fun, then by all means go and make friends. :)

[GingerLeigh]

I seen one of our own at "Rotten Ronnies" or McDonalds about a month ago. I was with my wife so even if I felt the urge to talk to her, I couldn't. I think I wouldn't have drawn attention to her if I were alone. Nobody wants to be outed, even if its by another CD'r.

Ginger

[vikki2020]

Kinda funny, I was at a MAC counter last week, but not in Florida! My first visit there, and it went fantastic! I would have welcomed anyone to come over and chat a bit if they wanted. I did have a very nice conversation with the sales rep though, she was the best!

[reese canyon]

i only shop mac...they are the best and their line of cosmetics is out of this world and so many colors....its like heaven.

[Marlena-4now]

I would have loved to say hi to her but for all intensive purposes there really isnt a good reason to do so.

As always Hugs:
Katie
SNIP-SNIP

Sure there is ! Community, friendship, ya know....Girl Power !?! The thing is most of us walk around in drab most of the time so there is little chance of meeting up ....by chance. I get it that you more accomplished members of our community can just blend in and won't appreciate being read ...... but, you would really only try to make contact with someone out there who really doesn't blend in, if they blend in or pretty much pass then youre not really sure , are you ? I just feel like if I'm out and about there is no way I'm gonna pass or blend in, so it would be nice to find out at least one of the gawkers was checking me out cause he/she's a kindred spirit. Like Laavista said, it makes the world outide the closet less foreboding and hostile. I guess I just really feel isolated sometimes.