Why I no longer post pictures.

[DaphneGrey]

I have been on hiatus from this site for quite some time. So I thought I should expllain why I took all my pictures down. I am so very thankful for this forum and all of the wonderful conversations I have had over the past year or so. Yes there have been many ups and downs and heated debates. If I have offended any in the past I am truly sorry.

Recently I was sniped at because I did not have a profile pic. So here it is. I have over the past couple of years become very confident in my female presentation. And have been very blessed to have a real life as Daphnie with real responsabilities and real friends. I stopped posting pics because I felt like I was flaunting myself.. I am not at all proud of this. I was becomming quite taken with myself and realized I was going to a bad place. I was becomming way to proud of what I looked like and not giving any energy to becoming a good woman. Again for this I am sorry. So I thought Perhaps I should take them down.

Also I began writing of my adventures at first as a means of encouragement. But quickly realized I was becomming competetive. I am more out than you syndrome. Not something I am proud of. Again I am very sorry. I llike a good out and about tale as much as anyone and we should all be proud of who we are and what we accomplish. But I was going much further than that.

I dont contribute much here anymore but I am still happy to be a member and do stop in on occasion. I am eternally grateful to to so many I have met here!

So there it is in a nut shell.

Hugs
Daphnie

[AllThingsPretty]

I can respect that.

But I do miss your postings. I found most of them insightful.

[NathalieX66]

Hi Daphne,
This is not about competition. We are all snowflakes, in the sense that we are all different.
I wish you the best. :hugs:

[Lynn Marie]

Actually a very insightful post. Good to hear you are so confident in yourself that you can actually get prideful. WOW, and then you can see yourself and are humbled. Everybody likes humble. I'm sure a good lesson for many of us. How about just an average picture so newbies like me can at least get an idea of who you are. I have a tough time with no pictures. I just love it when someone with very little natural beauty is able to make the most of what they do have. That really impresses me in CD's and GG's too.

[Cristi]

I understand where you are coming from, and do remember your pics and stories.

I never saw them as boastful. I did enjoy looking at them and reading your posts in the sense that it was nice to see that SOMEBODY (too bad it couldn't be me!) was having some success in getting out there. Seeing a 'success story' like yours can give encouragement to people just starting out.

That said, I do respect your decision and look forward to your contributions in the future.

[Kathi Lake]

Daphne,

You know the old saying - knowing it is half the battle.

The fact that you saw this in yourself is a good thing. As long as the act of taking your pictures down and not posting is how you're working through it, then I say good for you.

I would like to offer "however" though. Speaking for myself, I never saw your posts as competitive or boastful as I hope mine never are. They were simple matter-of-fact stories of your adventures.

So, anytime you feel the urge, please tell us how you're doing. We'd love to hear from you!

Kathi

[Sarah Doepner]

I never saw it as a problem but as an indication that what so many of us strive for is possible. Some of the photos I see here raise the bar beyond where I can jump, but again, it's not a problem unless I react with envy or some other negative emotion. Then the problem is mine.

I respect your desire to work on the person you want to be. It's a goal that can't be shared with photos or stories of shopping, that's for sure. Thank you for the reminder that I need to look inside occasionally. Good luck and please do stop in to cheer us along or offer constructive criticism, whatever is most appropriate.

[marny]

never saw your pics hon. but you sure sound like 100% girl! :battingeyelashes:

[Annaliese2010]

... I stopped posting pics because I felt like I was flaunting myself.. I am not at all proud of this. I was becomming quite taken with myself...I was becomming way to proud of what I looked like and not giving any energy to becoming a good woman. Again for this I am sorry... Also I began writing of my adventures...quickly realized I was becomming competetive. I am more out than you syndrome. Not something I am proud of...

Aw that's very sweet Daphne. Now I'm just dieing to see your pics! You're a very sensitive woman. Are you a Pisces by any chance? It takes a very secure person to be so sensitive to the needs of others and to be so halting and self-critical. You're a better girl than I, that's for sure. I used to be more that way but... not anymore. In fact I am not other-directed at all and try to stay true to myself. While it's always a good idea to conduct oneself within the limits of social convention and to remain mutually respectful and somewhat aware of what one might guess to be the aesthetic sensibilities, personal sensitivities and individual tolerances of those nearby, it's also important to not allow the attitudes judgments reactions or limitations of others to impose themselves or guide ones own behavior. It's implausible, impractical, and in the end self-compromising. Also, I've discovered how there are way too many people the opposite of you, who will take advantage of those who are well-meaning, generous and caring. I wish the world had more women like you, it would undoubtedly be a much better place to live. But sadly...it doesn't.

[ChastityInFemme]

Daphne...you offended me horribly! I hated your posts! You made me feel terrible! Show-off!

Just kiddin'...I love reading out and about posts. They let the imaqgination wander to places our lack of confidence keeps us from going (i.e. out and about)\. I've never read any of your previous threads so Icant comment on them directly. Although I love posts like Kathi Lake's...makes me think of how it would be to be in her position. It lets me see how 'easy' it is to go out dressed. It seems the key to success is being comfortable with yourself, confident, and generally not giving a rat a** what anyone thinks!

Just my $.02...

[tricia_uktv]

I respect your views Daphne but isn't part of getting yourself out being proud of yourself. I am proud of being Tricia and am unashamed showing pictures. I will never win a beauty contest but I am now my own person. That is more important.

[Miranda09]

Daphne, I for one, never found you boastful, conceited, or flaunting yourself as a woman. In fact, I always admired you for your style and determination. Don't forget, you can't offend those who uinderstand you. If you feel more comfortable not showing any pics and not writing as much as before, I can repsect that. However, make sure you don't isolate us from your life. We still love to hear from you, as everyone here as attested. :)

[Tamara Croft]

I never thought they were boastful either, just someone having a great time with their life and enjoying it as much as they possibly could. You should NEVER be sorry for being happy, you'll only make yourself miserable. I think you could do with a few :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: and maybe a :bh:

[Sandra]

Add me to the "not being boastful"

Your threads came across as you going out and enjoying what you were doing, and trying to encourage others to do the same.

:bh:

[minalost]

Daphnie,
Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. I can't say that I've ever been offended by any of your posts.
:hugs:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Don't worry about it Daphne...get your ass back in here.

and btw...we all want to be understood, to be known...ts tg or cd...that's a big reason we are here...

when i say "....such and such happened to me" i say it because i want to communicate with folks that understand...that can share it....its a basic human need...
its a big reason why successful transitioners often fade away communicating with the world as a woman(or man)

i am sure that when you post something really great, some girls get jealous...but so what...thats not a reason to stop communicating your true self to all of us....its like you are punishing yourself for something you didnt even do!

IMHO

[Angie G]

Dahhine I don't think some one should push others into doind some things they would rather not do. I know how you feel. And how ever you wish to do in this dressing thing is up to you. I enjoy looking at the pics of the girls on this site. And respct the wishes of some one how don't want there pic on the froum.:hugs:
Angie

[Ashley Allen]

Hello Ms Daphne Grey,

I appreciate your explanation of why you took down the pics. Although I was not around when you were posting pics, I can relate to your reasoning.

I am only recently partially out on this whole side of me. I say partially because in my normal life, versus Ashley's life, the only one that I am aware of knowing is my SO. I myself am finding that I get a competitive excitement in trying to see if I can be passable, or atleast compare photos with an underlying thought pattern of "I am so much prettier... so much more passable"

I am already aware of this in myself and try to be kind and give compliments too all and not let this competitiveness shine through in my personality; however, a word of caution from someone that has been a part of the community longer is appreciated. I actually find I take less pics of myself ever since I realized I was being competitive and super ficial, hmm haven't taken a pic in a few weeks. I'm such a newbie, a few weeks is a long time for me.

Any way thanks for sharing.

[SherriePall]

Daphne -- I respect what you're saying, but I, too, never found your posts to be the way you imagine them. In fact, I love to read out and about posts, as I am sure others do, because they allow us to often live vicariously through the poster's adventures. And, often, allow us to see what is possible.
Anyway, glad you stopped by. Please, don't be a stranger.

[Vieja]

sigh! I wish I had something to be boastful of.

Vieja

[DaphneGrey]

Thank you all so much! I am so thankful to all of you, for taking the time to post and for your words of encouragement. The Hugs help too thanks Tamara!

I am glad my posts diddn't come across as boastfull and that you found value in them. I guess it had more to do with how I was feeling about myself and my own motivations. One of the things I am big on as a trans person is growth and self improvement. I do a lot of soul searching, thinking, and developing ways to be a better woman. It was during this process that I recognized what I was doing. In any case I think I am in a much better place now.

Kathi, I don't think you are a braggard and I love your posts! And your caring heart.

Tricia, be proud of who you are you should be! Post all the pics you want. My decision not to post them at least for now is personal. I am not saying no one should just that for me it is not the right thing to do right now.

I have a supportive spouse, wonderful friends men and women, I go tow progressive church, do volunteer work as Daphne. And currently modeling for a NYC photographer and collaborating on Transgender photo exhibition. Just an update for those who asked.

Thanks and Hugs
Daphne

[Annaliese2010]

...currently modeling for a NYC photographer and collaborating on Transgender photo exhibition. Just an update for those who asked.

Thanks and Hugs
Daphne

DAMN. Now I really AM curious. Never saw ANY of your pix. Aw shucks! :sad:

[Slim Jim]

Daphne,

You know the old saying - knowing it is half the battle.

The fact that you saw this in yourself is a good thing. As long as the act of taking your pictures down and not posting is how you're working through it, then I say good for you.

I would like to offer "however" though. Speaking for myself, I never saw your posts as competitive or boastful as I hope mine never are. They were simple matter-of-fact stories of your adventures.

So, anytime you feel the urge, please tell us how you're doing. We'd love to hear from you!

Kathi
yeah, too bad a few more can't be like Daphne, huh?

[Destiny]

I enjoy posting pics and details about my "CD meets real world" experiences and I really enjoy hearing and seeing pictures from the adventures of others. I have never thought of it as a competition, just a fun place to induldge a bit and participate in a little girl talk. As for people sniping about trivial things like profile pics, let em snipe!! LOL I say post your pics, tell your stories and be proud of yourselves, after all, this is like a safe haven where we can actually do that right? We arent afforded these luxuries too many more places in this world as of now so just have fun and flaunt what you have!!

The views expressed in this post are not necessarily those of Crossdressers.com and any reproduction of this post is strictly prohibited without written authorization. (haha)

[sherri52]

Daphne if you want to take away your pics that is your perogative. We still miss your threads and insights in your postings. We would like to have you back as a regular not every once in a while. We all have something to learn as well as contribute to the site. It is obvious that if you were feeling in a competitve mood and that you have seen your errors and would now act in a more caring manner. Come back and join us as YOU :hugs:

[Miranda09]

.......And currently modeling for a NYC photographer and collaborating on Transgender photo exhibition. Just an update for those who asked.

Thanks and Hugs
Daphne

Wow Daphne. That is awesome to hear that. You definitely have to keep us up to date on this as we all want to see how fab you look! Pics soon???? :D:hugs:

[DaphneGrey]

I have updated my profile pic. It was taken yesterday in Central Park NY. It was a beautiful day. The photo is part of my genderqueer photo exhibit.

[Frédérique]

I dont contribute much here anymore but I am still happy to be a member and do stop in on occasion. I am eternally grateful to to so many I have met here!

Well, I’m glad you stop in on occasion, Daphne – I miss seeing your contributions. I know how you feel, in fact I also go away from time to time while the smoke is (hopefully) clearing around here…:straightface:


This is not about competition. We are all snowflakes, in the sense that we are all different.

Yes, I concur. I choose not to play the games most people engage in, either here or in the outside world. Lately I find myself wondering what is real, and what isn’t – I can thank a certain member for that revelation, but, as you say, we are all different…:battingeyelashes:

[docrobbysherry]

We r a support group, after all! When it's time for a grown swan to leave the nest, all we can do is wish her well!:thumbsup:

I was, however, confused about your, "competition", point.:brolleyes:

Were u worried u were "out-Daphne-ing" us?
How is THAT even possible?:eek:

Be the BEST "Daphne" u can be, girl! You're really only competing with yourself here!:)

As a closet CD, I'll miss your adventures and CD experience!
All the best!:hugs:

[JulieK1980]

sigh, add me to the list of people who wish they had the looks to be boastful about...

I wasn't here when you posted before, but you definitely seem insightful! :)

[DaphneGrey]

Thanks everyone! For all of your advice and insight. It means a lot to me. I wish I had something more to say right now. You are all so kind and sweet!

[DaphneGrey]

sigh, add me to the list of people who wish they had the looks to be boastful about...

I wasn't here when you posted before, but you definitely seem insightful! :)

Jodi you are very pretty! you have a sweeet face, please dont beat yourself up.

I posted in the past couple of days an out and about story and a few pics from my last photo shoot a day in Central Park. I only got two responses though. Thats fine mind you, but so many people asked I thought I would get more of a response. Any way I hope it shows other members that it really is possible to be yourself and have fun. It really isn't difficult at all. I am not particularly pritty and I am also quite tall 6' 200 pds size 12 below the waist. Just get out there and have fun own who you are people will respond posotively to you.

[victoriamwilliams1]

:hugs:Thank you for the post :)

I think personally it is good for others to read how well we are doing and seeing another person doing what we dream of is great. I also understand that some people are wired to compete and at time it can come out and eventually that person will always try to up another persons adventure. It seams to me you made the right decision since you detected that you where starting to compete even when most of us did not notice it:)
:hugs: