How fast can it all happen?

[Myojine]

How fast can it all happen?
Me i plan on doing some basica meaninal things while still in Military service that i can. Like Lazer hair removal, developing a female voice...
but i have to actually exit military service to realy start transitioning to female.
so realy my major question is "How fast"
i mean i dont wanna rush, but the time frame is at Least 1 Year as Female, to qualify for SRS.
So from Starting hormones, which i will do as soon as my elistment is up, to SRS how fast can it all happen?
EDIT:by no means do i plan on doing this ALL in 1 year... but 2years seems feasable, and honestly anything over 3 years is imo just to much time...

[Suzy Harrison]

I have heard this phrase so many times...and it is so true:

" This is not a sprint - it's a marathon! "

It's a huge undertaking and even if you are convinced beyond all doubt that it's the answer to your dreams - you will still need time to adjust both emotionally and physically.

Although I've felt this ways since I was 12 years old - I've gone from not even going out in public - to full time and SRS* in just 3 years. - And that's with an employeer who goes out of their way to help, GG friends who are so supportive, perfect medical tests, a psychiatrist who could see I was on top of things very early on and referred me to an endocrinolgist after just one session and also with no problems with family or friends.

Even with all that, my mind and body are still catching up with events and I'm in no doubt I'm pushing things a bit with this rate of change.

I think to try to do it too fast invites trouble. So take your time and enjoy the ride as it's a wonderful experience every step of the way.

hugs
Suzy



* my SRS is in a few months time

[Myojine]

I have heard this phrase so many times...and it is so true:

" This is not a sprint - it's a marathon! "

It's a huge undertaking and even if you are convinced beyond all doubt that it's the answer to your dreams - you will still need time to adjust both emotionally and physically.

Although I've felt this ways since I was 12 years old - I've gone from not even going out in public - to full time and SRS* in just 3 years. - And that's with an employeer who goes out of their way to help, GG friends who are so supportive, perfect medical tests, a psyciatrist who could see I was on top of things very early on and no problems with family or friends.

Even with all that, my mind and body are still catching up with events and I'm in no doubt I'm pushing things a bit with this rate of change.

I think to try to do it too fast invites trouble. So take your time and enjoy the ride as it's a wonderful experience every step of the way.

hugs
Suzy



* my SRS is in a few months time

ok, well time has NEVER been on my side, and if i leave even 1 thing up to chance its going to bite me in the ass AS ALLWAYS, i know my history and luck far to well do the "sit back and take your time" thing.
2/3rds planning 1/3 action, and eliminating ever varibale that i can to prevent something from happening.
and im going to be honest...
i hope this doesnt offend anyone but
i Do not want to get into this "transgender" world that ive seen alot of people alclimate too. i wanna be related to it as little as possible. its not my "circle" of people i hang around, dispite the fact so many of you are very much understanding, but its just not something ill be comforatable being around. in realisct terms im trying to set a timeframe.
with these things in mind
1. Time has never been nor ever will be on my side
2. Luck will never grace my presence i must be 1step a head of it.
3. my life is going to somewhat stop while i transistion, finiacially i should be headed in a good direction, and by then i should have a degree or at least a nearly completed degree.
Im using my military time in service to set a foundation, to save money, get an education, and prepare.
i wanna get it over with. but i dont wanna screw up either.

and if you do ask me what "circle" of people im around i could just tell you...
well were all "interesting" people.

[Rachel_Red]

I don't have much knowledge in the area of SRS but what I do know about all of the TG process is that you should take it in strides and not rush through it. You may not damage yourself physicaly but going through the transition can damage you mentaly. If a catapilar comes out of its cacoon to soon then it dies, it takes just enough time in there to become a butterfly. I think the important thing for you to do is say "I'm going to do this," then with that said do it, no matter how long it takes. Also remember you may not want to be part of the TG world, but if something happens, if someone tests your DNA or finds out about your past then you will automaticaly be judged as a TG.

[Suzy Harrison]

No offence taken at all, as we're all different. :)

You are already on the right track as planning is very important, but it has to be completed hand in hand with research. You need to fully understand the processes so you can make sure you're prepared for the next step.

For instance in Australia the process is: (and I expect the US is similar)

1. You need to see a family doctor to get a referal to see a psychiatrist.

2. You need to convince the psychiatrist you are suffering from Gender Identidy Disorder - then you will be referred to an Endocrinologist

3. He will check your health and get you to undertake multiple blood tests (I had 23)

4. If there are no problems he will start you on HRT - with blood tests at every 3 months.

5. You can start the Real Life Expereince at any time, but it's easier after at least 6 months of hormones.

6. In Australia, after one year and IF the psychiatrist thinks you're ready, then you will get permission for the SRS.

So it can all take time with the risk of waiting around for appointments, medical problems and social problems etc.

I'm not trying to spoil things, but if you go in knowing all of this then it can prepare you.
Rushing is hard as you can only go as fast as the slowest doctor will allow you to.

Hope it all goes well

hugs Suzy

[noeleena]

Hi.
You will be like many i know who if they could do it all yesterday , have a think about 5 years . you may not wont to,
well h r t does not work in 2 years its takes time & if you have s r s thatll take at lest 2 to 3 years to settle down trust me i know.
& if you heal quite quickly then thats a added plus just dont count on it tho in case there are details ,
i really would look at about 4 to 5 years for you body to come right & your mental side as well .
Is that too long , well the truth is it wont be less than 3 years all up .

& for this kid every thing was 100 % all the way through . i know others did have many problems along the way . & because we are so different dont think what i have had will work for you .
this is not to put you off just a reminder that things can take longer & do go wrong .
so bear in mind it can happen .

...noeleena...

[pamela_a]

I may be the exception to the rule but I've also been extremely fortunate and everything has just fallen into place. I did give myself a bit of a "head-start" since I started presenting more female than male several years before I actually started my transition.

My first therapist appointment was in April 2009 and I started HRT in July. In August I transitioned at work and started RLE. On Feb 22nd my name was legally changed and my gender is now correctly recorded as female.

I'm eligible for my surgery letter this August and my current goal is to be post op before the end of this year . I'm still working on facial hair removal but I'm fortunate in that my facial hair isn't very heavy.

There are some things I'm still trying to absorb after the whirlwind of activity but living now as a woman feels completely natural to me and I've never felt better in my life

I wish you the best on your journey. :hugs:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Although it may seem that all you want to do is go fast, and that your ultimate goal is to blend in as a woman...

I believe a better goal is to get right in your own ahead about your own self...by whatever means neccessary..and of course that also means transitioning in many cases, but many people fail in their transition, or continue transitions into a broken and bitter life because transition was not what they thought it would be..this is especially true for folks that think they can just blend in and be accepted in social and work situations by non trans people...

the most common way to fail is to go to fast

if your head is not on straight and you are not thinking clearly, then you will have a much more difficult time..we've all done some very difficult things in our lives, i have never ever ever been tested like I have during the last 2 years.

[Suzy Harrison]

Another thought is that although the surgery will make you legally a female - it will do nothing to help you pass as a female.

The Look
The Voice
The Mannerisms
The Walk
The Interactions
The Facial hair
The Make up skills
The Dress Sense
The Social Skills
etc..etc

.... is all up to you .... that's what the transition is all about

But don't worry, it's fun picking up those skills - and you can in time..

hugs Suzy

[pamela_a]

Another thought is that although the surgery will make you legally a female - it will do nothing to help you pass as a female.

The Look
The Voice
The Mannerisms
The Walk
The Interactions
The Facial hair
The Make up skills
The Dress Sense
The Social Skills
etc..etc

.... is all up to you .... that's what the transition is all about

But don't worry, it's fun picking up those skills - and you can in time..

That is very true Suzy. The things natal women learn from birth we need to learn as we unlearn the male mannerism. The one consolation I take out of this process is, as I watch other women, I realize there are a fair number of them who also appear at least to be just as challenged as I am with some of those skills and I don't mean that disparagingly.

It is a learning experience, but then isn't that what life is all about?

[carolinoakland]

Well, the first thing to check out is " TS Roadmap " by Andrea James. There is a comprhenisve check list, or reality check. The hair removal alone could take three years. The HRT take's three years to fully take. And the standard of care from the start of therapy to SRS is is at least 18 months to two years. After all the consideration you've put into this... what's the rush? At this point there is NO good reason to not do this absolutely perfectly. You don't want to be sitting in a hospital bed saying to yourself....
"What have I done?'' The fist thing I learned as a woman is... there's more to being a woman than wearing a dress and putting on make up. You are or you aren't . I am.

[Stephenie S]

All have said it right. You won't be hanging about wasting time, but the enormity of your task seems to indicate a time period of at LEAST 2-4 years. How long will electrolysis take you? How long will voice take you to develop? How long to grow your hair and find a good hairstyle? Wardrobe and wardrobe sense? A job as a woman? Documentation? Therapy? Hormone therapy? Waiting for surgery? How about FFS? All of this takes time. You will be busy.

Do you have about $35,000? That will get you started. It's entirely possible to spend up to $100,000 without blinking an eye. FFS can cost 30 to 40 thousand dollars. A new wardrobe, 5 thousand dollars. Electrolysis, 6 thousand dollars. Voice therapy, who knows? SRS, 20 thousand dollars.

This is not something to rush. I'm sorry you don't want to associate with transwoman. What do you think you are doing here?

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Suzy Harrison]

Stephenie is not kidding about $100K.

My costs over 5 years (in USD):

Therapy: $ 2,240
HT $13,200
FFS $32,700
SRS $23,000
Electro $14,300

Total $85,440

I did not include travel costs or items covered under my insurance (e.g., physicals, x-rays, lab work, etc.). Excluded clothing costs, jewelry, replacement eyeglasses, hair, makeup, etc.

For those who don't understand us and think this is a 'lifestyle choice' - this really shows you wouldn't do it unless you had no other choice in the world.

The emotional, social and economic costs - let alone all that pain, shows how determined we all are as we keep going until it's all done....

So far I've got through around 60K* and I think I'll need another 15K to complete the electro.....giving an expected total of 75K...................
............Yes it's so good in Australia it's even cheaper to be transgendered here !


* That includes 2 trips to the US for transgender conference's (research)
..but doesn't include clothes and make up - can't even guess at that one

[Myojine]

i dont realy care the cost, as long as im happy for once in my life.
i dont ahve to be something im not, thats all i realy care about.
happy... i wanna know waht thats like

[AllieSF]

Actually, I do not think that doing all the physical changes will necessarily make you happy. It may make you complete in the physical sense to satisfy your own mental needs. However, IMHO as a CD only and a senior in life's varied good and bad experiences, I think happiness has to first come from within. Maybe that is only in coming out to the world that you are you, whatever that is. The rest is only putting the frosting on the cake. It may take a while to put that frosting on as you decide on the color, the texture and flavor. Just remember that your cake won't go stale as you go down that transition path. Putting too much emphasis on the hoped for physical changes may set you up for a personal future disappointment. Be happy inside first, that is the cheapest and most difficult. Good luck on your journey.

[Stephenie S]

Allie has a good point. Those who are unhappy BEFORE transition are generally unhappy AFTER transition. Happiness comes not from our physical selves, but from our spiritual selves. Please don't look to transition to provide your happiness because it just won't happen. That's part of what therapy is all about. And if your therapist thinks that YOU think transition will solve all your problems, you may find yourself waiting some extra time for your letter

And money? I'm glad you don't care about money, but you still have to come up with some serious cash. Can you? These are the things we are talking about when we say don't rush things. It's not that you have to slow down, it's just that you may have to readjust your expectations of what's possible and how long it's gonna take.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Hi Myojine

I'll just come out and say it...i am a little concerned about your thought process...

YOU HAVE TO ACCEPT that it doesnt really matter what you want...this is what will happen.

2-4 years
200-400 hours on an electrologist's table
$75,000 - $200,000 depending on what steps you take
MUCH lower prospects for future empoyement
significant physical and emotional pain
constant disappointment about your appearance (unless you are a supermodel)
constant disappointment from many friends that will continue to think of you as a man no matter how they try..

The only plus for me? I got an end to the constant nonstop destructive need for me to be female...its like a release
It didnt make me happy...it gave me a path to being happy
it does not guarantee happiness...this really jumps out of your posts...you talk about your bad luck , that you are never happy...you can't start out in that head space...based only on your posts, you have some unrealistic views regarding transition..and about what transition will do for you, you have to make sure that you won't start and then get even more miserable because its not what you thought !!!! (the tragedy of the christine daniels story is an example - look it up)

the enormity of what you want to do overwhelms many people that start out with unrealistic expectations, if you are depressed you will need significant support (especially from the folks in the "transgender world" that you casually dismiss), people that arent trans may be supportive, but they will not likely be "understanding" enough to actually help you get through the nights when you are down..

I think you should run not walk to a qualified therapist and get this all out...your state of mind is VERY COMMON in the trans world, if you are trying to satisfy your deepest hopes and dreams, what is the arguement for not getting all the help you can get?...and you can't say therapy is to expensive, otherwise you won't be able to afford all the other costs, and you can't say there are no therapists in my area (which I hear alot), if you can't travel , then u won't find the doctors to help you with the medical and physical parts of it anyway..
the therapists tend to be in the vicinity of the best doctors..

i wish you all the best, and i hope you can find a good place in your own mind and stay there

Kate

[Myojine]

well...
honestly... theres never been...
this is so depressing, anyone who says that no matter how you change your looks...
well i care maybe to much about body image...

i just want you all to realize that i havent EVER had anything to be happy about that wasnt just.... superficial.
i was afriad to say that i want to fiegn away from the transgender world because i knew you girls would misunderstand...
i dont hate you or take you girls lightly or think your not worth something, i know im gonna need you girls, i know i am, i just dont want to get attached thats all.
if you havnet seen elfen lied, i beleive you should, theres a reason why i love it so much, theres a little link in my signature
My Re: to Elfen Lied,
its just a little tidbit, but i cant watch that video without bawling, and i made it.
maybe i dont know what happyness is, i only listen to what my heart tells, me and its never told me anything wrong.
i just think... life would be just a little easier if i didnt have to spend it hating waht i am, and wishing and that i cant be what i was supose to be.
i just want this pain to go away even for a shortwhile...
but then again


oh and my roomate locked me out and refuses to unlock the door...
my feet hurt so bad, all i wanna do is go to bed, but instead im sitting on the cold concrete with my laptop, no money, nothing to eat...

[GypsyKaren]

You can make it happen as fast as your checkbook will allow, if you're willing to go overseas for your surgery. You'll have to stick to the standards of care for surgery done here, which means being on hormones, doing the RLE, and having two referral letters. You're an adult so I figure you know what's best for you, but I would suggest you get started on working for your letters if you want to get everything done here.

Karen :g1:

[Myojine]

well i got 5 years to save some money and deside while i wait for my military service to end...

[Katesback]

My personal timeline. May 15, 2007, start hormones.

June 20, 2008, SRS,BA/LIPO.

Nov 28, 2009 FFS/LIPO

I never went to a therapist, I did not waste time.

If I would have done it over I probably would have done the FFS before SRS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Katie

[GypsyKaren]

I started hormones Jan. 2007, had SRS in Oct. 2007, I did therapy but not for gender issues, just my bipolar, and they gave me my letters.

Karen :g1:

[Sara Violet]

Myojine, I understand where you are coming from. I myself have not has srs, or ffs but I have been on hormones for 2.5 years. I started transition about 5 years ago. I was self destuctive and suicidal, now I am happy beyond compair. It took time, like you, I wanted to be a girl, not TG. I hate anyone knowing about me. Just be prepared to work very hard for a long time, 5 years in my case.

What Suzi said is completely true you NEED to have most of those skills in order to pass. Your voice is paramount you should be working on that. I pass very well (my avatar is a couple years old) and even work in stealth. As for cost? For me about $7000. I have not had SRS yet like I said. I have no clue if you may need ffs, in my case hormones rounded out my face very well for me to pass.

[Stephenie S]

Your statement that 3 years is just too long is telling. If you can't do this if it takes longer than two years, maybe you better not do it.

However, if you have to do it no matter HOW long it takes (a more realistic view), then just get started. NOW.

Electrolysis first, voice at the same time, start growing your hair (as long as the military will allow), start building a wardrobe, start working on your "style" (you need to find one, you know), get into therapy NOW, work on your "affect" (you have to start ACTING like a girl), have I left anything out? Well, I left out the money. I gather from your posts that you don't have any. You will need some. Actually you will need a LOT. You should be saving NOW. Every penny that you can.

NOTHING will happen until YOU make it happen. Complain and whine all you want. Wish and dream all you want. Plan and research all you want. But NOTHING will get done until you start doing it. Transition is an ACTION. You have to DO it.

Stephie

[CharleneT]

TONS of good advice already given. As for whether you want to hang out with TS folks, or get "attached" as friends ... you may find later that we are the only people who understand what you go thru as you transition. There is a huge variety of people here, drawn together because of our shared need. Otherwise, many would never associate with each other. That is the basic structure of most support groups.

Sounds like you have a lot of time ( the 5 years ). That is good. I think that if you want to use the advice here best, that the first thing you need to do is find a therapist and start getting some of these issues worked on. There may be another answer to your needs/wants. At the same time start with facial hair removal. It truly takes way longer than you ever think it could. If you live as a woman later, you'll be very happy you cleared your face first. If you never transition, you'll have the advantage of never needing to shave again !!