All of a sudden, I think its time...

[Ruikki]

Ever since this beautiful weather I have been wanting more and more to come out to my GF about my dressing. It started last week when I was at the mall with her shopping. We're pretty much connected at the hip so I always go shopping with her. I have a better sense of fashion anyways so I have to approve her outfits (more like give stern advice :battingeyelashes: ). Anyways, I caught my eyes on a pair of shorts that I thought I'd look great in and just wished I could buy them. Sadly I went home without. Since then I have been having dreams where I tell her about it and she is completely fine. Sometimes they feel so real that I wake up and think she knows. Yesterday she saw I had VictoriaSecret.com open and only said that it was funny because she was looking at the site herself that day. In the past 2 months i have been almost outed with a full face of make-up on, my bras laying around and she's found my underwear a couple times. Im starting to think that It's about time I said something. I did mention a little bit once when we were both reaaally drunk :drink: so I think shes going to be okay with it... I hope so!

[sherri52]

Sounds like your pretty close to tell her. Make it a good night and don't say anything until your alone. In an open place could cause a scene if she is upset about the secret.

[Shelly Preston]

Even if it is time to tell her

Please plan out how you plan to tell her It will be worth the extra effort

[PretzelGirl]

If you are getting lazy about hiding stuff around someone, that may be your sign that you want to be caught and out. Think it over and be sure. There is no taking it back. But I have done some outings lately and they have been very good forward progress for me. But that doesn't take away the possibility of it going the other direction either.

[Ruikki]

Ive read some of the stories of people coming out and I think I know how I want to. Though setting is definitely unclear, I want to basically be inviting her into this part of my life. Lately her and I have felt some disconnection and I think It may be partly due to my wants to spend time en femme. I just hope she wants to be a part of it.

[Destiny]

A couple of quick ideas to break the ice and inspire conversation.

Let her see your reading Cosmo
Get a manicure/pedicure with clear polish
Full Body shave
Next time you're shopping and you see an outfit/skirt/dress/shoes, tell her it's so cute, even you would wear it
Watch a TG/CD movie together
Accidentally leave CD.Com up on your computer for her to find
Compliment her on her makeup, be specific.

[Lexine]

Ive read some of the stories of people coming out and I think I know how I want to. Though setting is definitely unclear, I want to basically be inviting her into this part of my life. Lately her and I have felt some disconnection and I think It may be partly due to my wants to spend time en femme. I just hope she wants to be a part of it.

We all hope for the best for you, dear. Just do a lot of preparation both mentally and emotionally and be sincere about it and make sure that she connects at an emotional level.

Oh, and Destiny's got some amazing tips!

[Cassandra Lynn]

Did you get any feelings or a perception from her when she seen the underwear? Any reasons you can think of for the disconnected feelings?
Do you think she was opening up a conversation when she mentioned the VS.com site being open? Regardless of the answers, we wish all the best and please do let us know how it goes. :nailbiting: :Pray:
mj (Cassie)

[Sandra]

A couple of quick ideas to break the ice and inspire conversation.

Let her see your reading Cosmo
Get a manicure/pedicure with clear polish
Full Body shave
Next time you're shopping and you see an outfit/skirt/dress/shoes, tell her it's so cute, even you would wear it
Watch a TG/CD movie together
Accidentally leave CD.Com up on your computer for her to find
Compliment her on her makeup, be specific.

Well from a GG the only two thing that you have said that I would agree with is watching the movie and the last line that you wrote.

All of the others could send a GG who doesn't know running for the hills.

Ruikki

Sit her down and talk to her tell her how you really feel, ask her to listen to you first and what you have to say, then you do the same for her, answer all her questions and concerns as honestly as you can, and if she asks something that you can't answer then say so, don't lie to her because she will find out.


Good luck and keep us posted. :hugs:

[Karan49]

When I was transitioning many years ago I had a woman friend who seemed interested in me so I wanted to leave her hints about who I really was. I left out bras and panties to dry out after laundering. And clothes set out as if I were trying on different outfits. Months later after I finally told her what was going on with me I asked her if she had noticed the feminine clothes and lingerie around my place. She told me she had and assumed I was seeing another gal and that's why she backed off from me. You never know what's going on with someone until you talk to them clearly about the situation. You may lose this gal if you don't gather your courage and spill the beans. Good luck. Karan

[tinalynn]

I have to agree with Karen about the 'disconnection' between you two. Her finding panties laying around would normally signal another woman. You need to clear that up right now!

"I just hope she wants to be a part of it."

I hope so, too, but expect her to not want to be part of it. This is something most women just don't want to deal with - or can deal with. Hopefully, she'll be open minded with it and won't bolt. To help ensure that, tell her she doesn't have to be a part of it if she doesn't want to. There's plenty of ways to find time without her around - and without lying! Maybe she'll come around some day, my wife did... But you cannot simply lay out an ultimatum that she must see you - that won't work. She'll probably need some time to adjust, so be ready to give her that space.

Good luck to you both!!

[lilmissjenny]

Ruikki...i had a similar thing happen to me a few weeks ago. a girl i know wanted me to go to the mall and help her do some shopping for some kinda party they were having where she works at. all the while shes asking me an about this dress, this top...etc. and the whole time i was wishing i was the one shopping for a cute new outfit ::sigh::

[t-girlxsophie]

I think before you tell your partner,you have to prepare for negativity just in case,but hopefully you wont need it and things will go well,and She will embrace your Feminine side.good luck Ruikki

[Presh GG]

Before you do anything, read Marla GGs sticky at the top of this page.
And, of course is she needs help we GGs are here.

Presh GG

[ifitfeelsgood]

Dont go any further till you come out.
Drop easy hints and read her answers. Sounds like you already have.
What happens when you go in deep and then she does not accept you, hide it forever and pretend its not there, or better lie and make cross dressing something wrong.

[Destiny]

Well from a GG the only two thing that you have said that I would agree with is watching the movie and the last line that you wrote.

All of the others could send a GG who doesn't know running for the hills.

Ruikki

Sit her down and talk to her tell her how you really feel, ask her to listen to you first and what you have to say, then you do the same for her, answer all her questions and concerns as honestly as you can, and if she asks something that you can't answer then say so, don't lie to her because she will find out.


Good luck and keep us posted. :hugs:

Good advice but just curious, why would a woman "run for the hills" if she saw you reading cosmo or noticed a clear coated manicure? Especially since it says that the girlfriend saw Ruikki at VS.com and found her underwear in the first post (and she apparently didnt run). I would think if she did, it's pretty obvious she's not going to be ok with CDing no matter what approach you take. Just my opinion but once again, I think your advice is great, communication is key.

EDIT: BTW, shaving my legs, clearing my nails, initiating conversations about her makeup and clothing were all part of my coming out process with my wife. It wasnt necessarily one big "Im out" moment or conversation, more of a gradual series of moments where I let her get used to the feminine me. Then when we finally had "the" conversation, she was already privy to the situation so it wasnt a big shock. It sounds like Ruikki has already started the process, whether she realizes it or not, I would definately recommend picking/planning your moments wisely, timing can be very important. For example, not something you want to bring up while she's tired, in a bad mood or even "that time of month" (eek lol). I wish Ruikki good luck however she tries to approach it, the fact that she is still there after finding the underwear is a VERY good sign IMO.

[kimdl93]

Ruikki,

I think its time to take that big step. Its very hard to predict how a person might react - but if you want this to become a LTR, then sooner is better than later. All you can do is make a stab at it, and be prepared to live with her response.

[5150 Girl]

See my post in another thread slugged "When to tell"

[Shelly67]

Ive read some of the stories of people coming out and I think I know how I want to. Though setting is definitely unclear, I want to basically be inviting her into this part of my life. Lately her and I have felt some disconnection and I think It may be partly due to my wants to spend time en femme. I just hope she wants to be a part of it.

Oh bless you -the disconnection phrase really hit home with me . That's a reality check for sure , leading you to consider coming clean , unburden yourself . However , beware the way you emerge - you certainly do not want to give the burden to your partner . I'm sure that you are more than aware of the situation and all I can do is wish you well .
:hugs:

[Peri Bender]

Check out this website: http://cdsecretgarden.femmegetaway.com/comingout.html
I found this site after I was told and found it helpful.

After I was told, all those hints made since. At the time, I had not clue as to why my husband was so sensitive to his facial blemishes, his figure, his body hair...(I could go on...) Then, it ALL made since. Telling your SO is not going to be easy. We all are different and will react differently. Be prepared. Tell her then let her take the lead as to how much imformation she can handle each day.

Good luck and keep us posted!

[Jennifer72]

It must be the change in weather as I have been feeling the same way lately. I hope that things go well for you.

[Soriya]

Being someone who has never been in a situation where I needed to tell a SO, I find threads like this so informative because one day, I might be in this situation.

Secrets on any kind in a relationship are dangerous, especially the longer they are kept. I look at it this way, if you personally accept that dressing is part of you, and will be for the rest of your life, you need to tell your partner. They may not like it, they may tell you it's not for them, they may embrace it. If your SO doesn't and can't deal, as much as that is painful, it's information that you will need because the longer you hide it, the more friction it will cause in all areas throughout the relationship.

If I am in this situation down the road (I am single) I don't think I will try the dropping hints approach to test the waters. Outside of all of this, I have learned assumptions without knowledge are bad. When one is left to assume, they tend to formulate their own conclusions out of fear.

It sounds like you have a good hint already from when you too were drunk, but in any event, good luck and I wish you the best. :)

XO

Soriya