Confused and not sure what to think.

[tinak415]

Hi!

I'm kind of going through a not sure how I feel about, don't have much interest in, dressing mood right now. I'm a bit confused and not sure how to take it.

Right before Christmas I was able to spend an afternoon and evening dressed and out as Tina. It had been a very long time since the last time I was dressed. About 2 years. During that 2 yr break, I did have desires to dress, but unfortunately not the time. Work and home life had been keeping m very busy.

So I have an amazing time out dressed back in Dec. I couldn't wait for the day to come, had a great time, and vowed to myself to go out more often.

So a couple of months later I had a perfect opportunity to dress and go out again. Decided to go to DVG social in Walnut Creek. Been to one years ago, so I knew it was a safe place. Dressed at home, and worked up the nerve to go out the front door, and hope no one see's me. So I made it out the door without getting caught. By the time I was a few blocks away, I knew I was going to have a great time.

Made it to the social, met some great people, and had a GREAT time out dressed as Tina. At the time, I didn't want the evening to end and again vowed to myself to dress and go out more often.

So here I am, April 3rd and I have no interest to get dressed. I am very confused now.

Last summer I found this website. At the time and leading up to my outing in Dec, I was feeling very comfortable about Tina and my dressing interests. I think this website was a big influence to me going out a few months ago.

But after my second outing, I have lost a lot of interest in dressing. Still accepting of my CD interests, and have no plans or desire to purge. Just no interest in dressing. Also, prior to my outings, I would come to this site a lot, but after my outing to DVG, I have come here rarely.

When I'm dressed I notice how comfortable I am and enjoy my time. Also prior to my outings I noticed how much I look forward to these times out. But now I have no interest. It's almost like I had this itch I had to fill, when out and filled the need, and now there's no itch to fill.

So I'm just not sure what to think. Is this just a phase? Do others go through these phase's? Again I'm confused, and disappointed too. I know how much I have enjoyed my time dressed and out. But just don't have the interest or desire.

Sorry for the long post and my rambling's.

Thanks for reading this too.

Tina

[Kaz]

Hi Tina,

Good to meet you! xx

Yeah I have found these things to fluctuate a lot.

For the last few years I have been a bit more "full on" as in this being a more constant need, but I still have gaps/phases when I have no desire to actually do anything... though I must admit it is still in my head...:daydreaming:

Best
Kaz xx

[Lynn Marie]

Hi Tina, also good to meet you. I'm pretty new here. I may be entering the same kind of thing you are feeling. I'm just recently getting out and feeling more confident all the time as my look grows more passable. I can feel that the challenge that I once thought was impossible to reach is sort of diminishing as I accomplish each of those goals. So now what?

I don't know if it's a male thing or not, but I just love the challenges involved in my hobbies and other endeavors. As I've acquired those skills and gotten pretty good at my hobbies, the challenge is no longer there and I kind of get bored with it and move on to another sport/hobby/etc. to waste my time and money on! Writing this really make me see myself better!

I will say that adding to my wardrobe and shoe collection does renew my desire to dress up and strut my stuff even if it is only at home enticing the neighbors with quick peeks. Hope this helps.

[CamilleLeon]

I've been through similar periods where I've had the opportunity but just didn't feel like it. I say don't force it if you don't want to. There will be other opportunities, and there's no reason to turn dressing from something you love to something you have to do.

[tamarav]

This should be a voluntary activity and anytime you start to feel like you simply "have to" dress to appeal that part of yourself, you may be doing it for the wrong reason.

The feelings are just like everything else in life, they come and they go. If you aren't into it, go to the mall in drab and simply marvel at the beautiful, and the not-so-beautiful women that you see. Walk the aisles and glance at clothes and the people buying them. Relax, there is no quota that you have to meet.

Many times I go days or weeks with no dressing activity, it simply either isn't in the plans or I am too lazy or tired. When I do dress, I go to the end. I do absolutely every aspect as good as I can and have fun with it, but it does take a lot of psychic energy to maintain.

Relax, when the urge comes back be prepared and have all your stuff lined up and ready to go.

[tinalynn]

One about cd'ing is that we don't have to do it if we don't want to. I have a great time whenever I go out, and I know this. But sometimes I just don't feel like it. There's no rules that tells us when to wear what clothes... Good thing, too, or we'd never get to wear dresses!

[AKAMichelle]

A year ago I spent almost all year dressed. I was dressed probably 75% of the time. Then a year later I haven't dressed at all. The desire or need to dress is not there currently. Although now I am beginning to feel that urge again. So go figure.

I just think of it like when I purged all those times over the years. Only now I hang onto everything until the need returns.

[girlalex]

I am going through something very similar as of now only with shorter gaps in between wanting and not wanting to dress. i don't know if its because im tired from work or am lazy. i just don't really care all that much. it will be back though.

[Samantha_Smile]

Tinak, Im not sure if this is of any use to you.
But up untill last week, I went 4 weeks without dressing.
But before the start of that period I was dressing twice a week atleast, this was at the time my fiance found out, and actually became quite accepting of my needs.
For a while I wasn't sure whether I was going to do it more and more, untill I was en femme more than guy mode.
But I stayed at twice a week and then out of nowhere...
Stopped.
I made no decision to do so, like you say, no urge to purge or any of that. And for 4 weeks hardly thought of it at all.
And when I did think about it, I found no desire to dress.
I was quite happy hammering Call of Duty (for the third time in campaign mode) and slobbing around the place.

And then last week, I was bored, at home alone, I went and got a nice dress on, got my DIY forms in, and all was well in the world. I was relaxed and feeling good.
And Ive dressed again today, this time with makeup, I took some photos and Im feeling even better.

I THINK this is what everyone reffers to as the beginings of a pink fog, becuase at the moment, I cant get dressing out of my head. 2 weeks ago I couldn't get it INTO my head.

Swings and roundabouts...

Dont worry about it hun, do you get concerned if you dont wash the car in years? I wouldn't. Just let it be, you can wash it when you want to. Who knows, next week, you might have the cleanest car in town (theres a metaphore in there somewhere)

Relax and Enjoy
xxx

[Jason+]

In December of 2006 through April of 2007 I was away from home for some new training. I was living basically in a motel room and could dress every day I wanted to as opposed to the 3 days a week or so I could dress at home. I found after the first month away that I didn't really dress more than I would have at home although it was nice if I wanted more not to have to give it a second though.

After being back home for a while and having the three days we both agreed that something had to change. We both separately came up with limiting it to two days a week. I've found that with having it be a regularly scheduled event rather than when I feel like it that some days I dress simply so I don't lose the day.

[Marissa]

Tina, reading your post i got to thinking "wow, that's me, lately" :eek::sad:

yes it hits alot of us girls.. we just don't feel like dressing.. and then one day, it feels just right..

well, i'm waiting for that day to come again.. :daydreaming:

near the end of each week, i say to myself "i'm getting dress and going out" but saturday afternoon or evening... something hits me and i'm just not into it.. not sure why.. but then again, life has given me punches so maybe that is the root.. other times..

well its like tonight, I received some sexy corsets through ebay and i so wanted to dress, take a few pics but not go out.. so anyway, i went through the whole evolution of trying to put one on and get it fitted..tried the door knob thing.. LOL.. almost worked..ended up asking my daughter to assist.. anyway..it was a bit frustrating to go through it all..and in the end, after all that.. i changed my mind.. Duhhh.. :heehee::D

so now tonight i'm in drab, with out feeling bad that i didn't dress.. it will come to me another day..

so take it in stride..and let the feeling come when it does..

Hugs,

[sterling12]

I notice in your profile that you are forty three. Aside from The Usual Advise that over the years "The Urge" waxes and wans, there may be something else on your Horizon.

A lot of us have noticed that there seems to be a large increase in Transgendered Activities for Gurls around middle-middle age. Lots of theories, (and this phenomenon seems to occur around age 50,) and they include: 1.) Lowering Testosterone Levels. 2.)A feeling of "Mortality," and the desire to explore your entire persona, before it's too late. 3.) Children raised, marriage in "The Doldrums." 4.)A "don't care what others think" attitude, that influences your feelings about revealing your duality, and exploring.

Of course all of these reasons are pure speculation, and it's reasonable to assume that they could be incorrect. BUT, For a lot of people, SOMETHING SEEMS TO BE HAPPENING!

My point? Since you have had several "episodes" in recent times, perhaps you are right on "The Cusp" of entering into a new phase. You may be one of those gurls who suddenly "blossoms."

Just thought I'd let you know. If your not prepared for it, I imagine it could be confusing, and perhaps frightening. A lot of us have done this.....maybe you too?

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Sweeterica]

Hi Tina hello, we all feel like it sometime,its phases we go through,dont worry about it, when you want to again you will and enjoy it,dont force yourself to do it thats wrong.Go with your heart sweet.

[Robyn_mncd]

Hi Tina- you expressed the way I feel too. It's been so long since I fully dressed I can't remember the last time. I got fed up with shaving my legs and chest and then the whole dressing feeling left. I did wear a pair of panties for the day a short while ago and though to myself that I'd forgotten how great they felt on me. Not havin ganyone nearby to dress with maybe plays a part in my letheragy too.

[Nicole Brown]

Hi Tina,

Everything that all of the girls have said is true, the feeling to dress does come and go from time to time. I experienced those feelings through out my life, but I started having nearly constant desires to dress about 4 or 5 years ago and for me this feeling has now never gone away.

I am now in my 60s and know other girls of this age who tend to feel the same way. So, it may be true, that the older you get the stronger the desire to dress becomes.

Interestingly enough, as the desire to dress has grown within me, so has the desire to live as Nicole and not just to dress as her. Thus, I am now living with constant desires to be Nicole all the time. I am not sure where all of this will lead me, but if I follow the advice that my therapist gives to me, I will soon begin to give into these desires and start living as Nicole.

My situation may well be an extreme, but it is what it is.