Older and masculine ?

[Bethan]

I started dressing at an early age, secretly trying on my mothers and sisters sexy things and getting a huge thrill from it all.
In my 20's I could look pretty good, stockings, garter, and quite fem (I will say myself my ass looked good dressed ;) ).
I had cross-dressing friends I'd see occasionally, have some fun with, but being married, busy, settled, I stopped trimming my body hair (I'm quite hairy), grew older (I'm 51) and while fit and proportionate, I'm definitely masculine, balding, grew a goatee etc.

I look pretty decent for a guy, but I'm far from passable as a girl so these days I just occasionally dress in lingerie privately, still get a thrill out of it all, but I do in many ways miss those earlier times when I felt fem as opposed to feeling like the masculine guy in lingerie that I am :)

Just wondering how many others share this experience, the sense of still enjoying but not really belonging (sigh).

I don't try to look fem anymore as I know it just won't work, but I still the look and especially the feel and wish I had somebody to share it with.

Anyway, my first proper post, so there you go :)

[Lynn Marie]

Hi Bethan, first off welcome to the forum. I've been there too. CD'ed with a moustache for years. As time has progressed, the moustache is gone and I've learned to make the best of what I've got to work with. Still a work in progress.

For me, that's sort of the challenge of this sport/hobby/avocation/obsession. We've got so little going for us as males that when we can make ourselves even semi-passable, it is a real triumph of body and face manipulation, lingerie engineering, artistic makeup, wig styling and apparel selection.

[Angie G]

Many of us can't pass all that well. I'm one myself. But I can dress at home with my wife and dream of looking so.I hope you can find someone to share some dressing with hun.:hugs:
Angie

[Bethan]

Thanks for making me welcome Lynn & Angie.

I guess I'm just confused as to where (if anywhere) that I fit in.
I most definitely relate to the girls on here though, and it's wonderful to be reading posts with others that share the interest/passion/need/hobby/kink (delete as appropriate ;)).

[Sophie_C]

Well, that's just the result of the years and years of testosterone running through your veins. When you were younger, it had done less damage, so you passed more. It's true for everyone, and why, consistently, non-transitioning younger girls always come closer to passing...

[Bethan]

Damage ? Hey, I'm quite comfortable as a "manly man" and with my sexuality, just a shame I can no longer look fem :)

The hair dosen't help either (mutter mutter) :)

[Samantha B L]

Hi Bethan, I turn 54 on the 6th and I've been dressing on and off since I was 11 or 12. One problem I have is that I look very manly in an unfeminine boyish teddy bear sort of way. And I've seen enough home videos of myself over the years to know that about myself. I really don't look like a woman,but I think if I had a professional CD makeover I just might be able to look like a women. I try to have sort of a drag queen/transvestite look since you can't have everything and it's a very acceptable feminine look and most people can usually pick out a "guy in drag" after a minute or two anyway. When I say I look teddy bearish,I meant that I look manly but not sinister,musclebound and macho. I'm sorta dumpy and nervous and I look like your Uncle who always gives you $10. I look very guy-ish but I've been told by freinds that I'm about as macho and threatening as the easter bunny.


Bethan,you can still look very fem even if you can't do what a CD freind of mine called a "full masquerade". There are all kinds of choices in wigs and makeup and other fem items for sale in stores. and you can take your time to find the look which suits you. There are hundreds of makeup tutorials on You Tube and when you buy things like nail polish or lipstick always consider the advice of the SA who's waiting on you. Oh well,I saw this thread and I posted in your intro and I do understand that being in your fifties(as I am)brings it's limitations. Welcome to crossdressers.com hun !


Samantha

[kathie225]

Although I"m a relative newbie (I was a long time "lurker" before I decided to sign up), welcome, kick back and enjoy; you're among friends.

You are quite lucky to have had an opportunity to be able to pass. Regardless of what I'd do, no way could I pass. My appearance was sort of akin to the proverbial " silk purse/sow's ear" conundrum. So I was never able to dress and give the slightest "fem" appearance. However, when dressed, in my mind I'm the prettiest gal around and feel quite good about myself even though to others I'd appear ridiculous. You know, I think tomorrow I'll wear my Easter bonnet.

Welcome again and good luck to all......

[jenifer m.]

yeah i kind of went and did it when i decided to body build.no spagetti straps for me now.but i still dress at home.

[Bethan]

Thanks Kathie :)

And Jenifer... the body build, I hear you, been working out, looking and feeling good, lost pounds, etc.
But hey, you in lingerie sounds hot actually, might be a good time for me to step back from the forum for a bit :)

Thanks for making me feel welcome all.

[docrobbysherry]

And, I'm quite a bit older than u!

Don't let my pics fool u! I can't pass any more than U!:sad:
I can fool myself and the camera at home, but I don't DARE go out dressed!:eek:

[AllieSF]

Hi Bethan, welcome to the forum. Since I only started 3 years ago and I have a decade plus years on you on the plus side, I never had the opportunity to be the "new" me when I was younger with better skin, looks, figure, etc. However, I truly am amazed how well conserved I look, which is confirmed by honest (IMHO) comments I receive in drab and en femme. So, I would say that maybe you have more good times left in you than you want to admit. That is what wigs, cinchers, padding and makeup are all about for GG's and us CD'S too. Thanks for sharing and please don't give up yet.

[Sweeterica]

i well i think a lot of us feel the same babe, dont let it worry you i dont just enjoy what you can we only have one chance at life,i think all of us over a certain age feel like you when we have bad days but at least we can still dress up surely thats the most important. Anyway i wish you well and hope to see you on our friendly site often.

[msniki48]

[QUOTE=Bethan;2100773]
I stopped trimming my body hair (I'm quite hairy), grew older (I'm 51) and while fit and proportionate, I'm definitely masculine, balding, grew a goatee etc.

I look pretty decent for a guy, but I'm far from passable as a girl so these days I just occasionally dress in lingerie privately, still get a thrill out of it all, but I do in many ways miss those earlier times when I felt fem as opposed to feeling like the masculine guy in lingerie that I am :)

Well Bethan,

I think i could have used your complete quote, to coment on, as i have done all these things also. I am focussing on the above because this is my most recent bout with almost purging this past yr. feel free to go to my site to see my most recent blog. I am working on getting back to my femme side, and i'm starting to feel better, but so many of us know we don't pass. thank God people are more accepting, and laws are now starting to protect us. I was at a support meeting last night, and I must say, if there ever was a safe haven where you can communicate with girls in the same position as you...that is the place. many girls dress right there, and come and go in drab. if you need more for yourself there is a way to move forward.:daydreaming:

ok ok ok the goat tee may have to go! ;) If you can relate to the girls here at the site, you will find much compassion there also, in real time and in person.


good luck Bethan, and welcome to the group.

ps: feel free to click on my link to check out the blog.:hugs:

[Roberta Young]

Bethan up to 5 years ago i looked like zz top. living in fl. decided to shave, scared eveyone including the dog. foundation is easier to apply. before this i looked in the mirror and didnt see the beard, just the other me. luv Roberta

[Renelle]

I'm a late bloomer who's had a beard for 20 years. There's the indoors me, and the outdoors me. If women wear pants and sweatshirts over panty's and cami's, then why can't I? I may be missing something, but it's fine for now.

[Suzy Harrison]

Well even females begin to look masculine as they age - this is due to the drop in estrogen levels they experience without HRT.

I didn't start on hormones until I was 54 and already some of the more masculine features I had have started to go - so it's never too late.

[ellenwannabe]

just do what you enjoy and enjoy what you do - smiles - Ellen

[Sarah Doepner]

Bethan,
Welcome to the club. I think one of the best places to get a glimpse on what we can do with the right tools and practice is the photo thread that shows many of us both as male and in our female presentation. Take a look and you may discover you don't have as far to go as you might believe.

Regardless of how you deal with this gift, try to enjoy yourself.

[kayesimone]

welcome and enjoy...mosly for me it is letting the inside of me expressing herself outside...for better or worse. have fun!

[Bethan]

Thanks for all the comments girls, really appreciated and it helps with perspective.

For now at least I'll focus on enjoying the forum and learning more through your posts.

In the meantime I'll just contend with being a guy who gets a sexual kick dressing and I'l live with myself ;)

[sissystephanie]

Bethan, I am now 77 y/o and have been dressing since age 6! Until I was married I never went out in public fully dressed. But I told my late wife before we married, and we wore matching white silk lingerie to our wedding. But she always fixed my wig and did my makeup. So when she passed away 5 years ago, I decided to become a feminine man. I go everywhere in public dressed totally feminine, but looking like the man that I am. I never have any problems doing that, and only rarely do I even get comments. When I do it is usually because someone is complimenting my outfit!!

So I have totally put both CD'ing and being a man together in a way that makes me happy!! Best of Luck to you!!

[Cathytg]

You seem to have found yourself. TG/CD is a highly personal kind of thing. Yours is not like mine nor is it exactly like anyone else's. Enjoy who you are. You are really the only you that you will ever get.

[Ruth]

Age strikes us all in different ways. Apart from the hair loss (which is easily covered with a wig), I think I got less masculine as I aged - I lost whatever muscle definition I ever had, I put on some weight on the hips but not the waist, and most important I got more confident about things like body shaving etc. I would say I'm more comfortable in my femme things now than 2 decades ago.
But we're all different.

[deniseh]

:hugs:It's more about what you feel on the inside than the wrapping on the package. I can't pass in public either, but still wear some thing fem everyday, even if it is just panties. Why? Because it is what is right for me. Find your Happy Place and go there as often as you can.

[Sarah Michelle]

I heard so many of my own thoughts in your message. I wasn't able to explore my alternate being until I retired and unfortunately I will never make a passable woman but,
I feel at home in my skirts and dresses when no one is home, and I dream of being able to go outside and what my life might have been if I had followed this before I married and locked in.
I'm learning to use make-up through trial and error and with the good advice from here.
I watch Ellen Degeneres on t.v. and wonder at the double standard.
The fact that my cross-dressing is a secret limits what I can do to explore the girl I think I could be....
but I enjoy the moments I have
and I am amazed at the number of similar situated people who have responded to you.

[Tomara]

Hi Bethan
It's simple
You don't have to fit in or look pretty or even pass as female you can just accept yourself for who you are and enjoy the fact that you like the things you like.
I enjoy my cross-dressing and mostly under-dress I don't pass and I don't want to I am a man who likes to wear feminine things and I'm OK with that.
So enjoy yourself !
Tomara