Thumbelina
04-06-2010, 09:41 PM
Hi, I am Thumbelina because I self identify as a “fairy” when I cross dress, of which I have had only one very recent “out” experience. It is a result of this experience that I signed up for this forum. Let me explain.
I am a 48 y/o male, very masculine and in a very masculine profession. I have been married 23 years and have three kids. I began wearing panties in high school under my 501 jeans and some years later began plying with pantyhose and thigh highs. This has all been in the privacy of my own home. My wife lets me know which if her panties it’s okay for me to wear and which ones she would prefer I not wear.
I am a member of a small spiritual/personal development group that meets weekly. Each week we decide on a task that we will all follow through and then discuss the following week. These are all simple tasks that promote things such as mindfulness, identification of negative emotions, etc. A couple weeks ago the task was to do something completely out of character designed to make yourself extremely self-conscious. The practical object of this was to self-observe the emotions and feelings this brought up with a mind to identifying ways in which you are attached to the “normal” self-perception you have come to project to the world, and how and why acting outside of the security of that persona feels threatening.
I live in a very small, conservative town where my children go to school and I work in a very conservative profession in this small town. After much contemplation I simply decided that I was not going to do the exercise because the potential consequences here were not worth the potential benefits. However, I had not taken into account that I had to make a trip to a different part of the state that week. The night before the trip I had a dream that I was shopping in a store and looked down to realize I was wearing a woman’s blouse.
It still didn’t connect for me but as I was driving down the road it began to dawn on me that here was the perfect opportunity to do the exercise and to try something I hadn’t even let myself consider in the past. I made an intention to stop at my favorite large thrift store on the way. I came out of the store with a pair of women’s bright, bright red skintight low rider jeans, a super sexy, silky purple blouse, and a pair of high heel ankle boots with cute little buckles (I have long had a heel fetish and buy my wife all kinds of heels). I was so excited I was breathing shallow. I stopped at a convenience store about fifteen minutes down the road, got gas, then went into the bathroom to change. I came out and high heeled over to my car feeling like I was in one of those dreams where you’re in front of the class and realize you don’t have your pants on.
I made an intention to stop everywhere I would normally stop and do everything I would normally do on the trip. I stopped at several thrift stores, a couple grocery stores, a few convenience stores, and a National Forest office. At the first two or three stops I was terrified about what people would think, say, or do. I desperately wanted at least to change into my sneakers before going in, but stuck to my intention. As I made more stops and got out more, however, I realized that I really didn’t care what people thought of me and my only real anxiety was regarding hostility, both physical and verbal. I met with no hostility other than an occasional snide remark or snicker behind my back. As my anxieties began to subside I was able to focus more on the erotic thrill of being in public dressed as I was. Though handsome, I have always been a very shy and reserved person but I found it very heady to literally be the center of attention wherever I went. And I found it very freeing to joyfully express myself in a way I had long wanted to and not have to worry about negative consequences. I think it is safe to say that there was not a single person who saw me that did not take the time to really look. I swear more women smiled at me in the two days I was out than had done so in the last five years combined, and though most of those smiles looked a little bemused, some were genuine and there were only a small handful of women that sneered, snickered, or made snide remarks. There was one attractive lady in one of the thrift stores who made a point of approaching me and starting a friendly conversation; all of the clerks where as polite and courteous as they usually are when I’m dressed “normal:” most men checked me out but tended to look a little disgusted. My last stop was a “Lover’s Package” store where I stopped to find a pair of panties. The staff there were very polite and helpful and one of the clerks, very tall and gorgeous, jokingly asked me if I wanted to try her boots on, a sexy pair of high heeled calf boots. We chatted for awhile, she helped me pick out a pair of panties, and then told me about an alternative bar in town I might enjoy checking out!
As I said, this was my first time being out crossdressed and it was a fantastic experience! The reason I think of myself as a “fairy” is that although I love wearing women’s clothing I don’t have any real interest in transforming nor acting femme. Even dressed as I was I still acted my normal self, though without the rough edges admittedly, but it was the high heeled boots that really put it over the top for me and I couldn’t get that old Black Sabbath tune out of my head, “Fairies wear boots yeah you gotta believe me…” Now I’m hoping to find others to go out with on occasion!
- Thumbelina
I am a 48 y/o male, very masculine and in a very masculine profession. I have been married 23 years and have three kids. I began wearing panties in high school under my 501 jeans and some years later began plying with pantyhose and thigh highs. This has all been in the privacy of my own home. My wife lets me know which if her panties it’s okay for me to wear and which ones she would prefer I not wear.
I am a member of a small spiritual/personal development group that meets weekly. Each week we decide on a task that we will all follow through and then discuss the following week. These are all simple tasks that promote things such as mindfulness, identification of negative emotions, etc. A couple weeks ago the task was to do something completely out of character designed to make yourself extremely self-conscious. The practical object of this was to self-observe the emotions and feelings this brought up with a mind to identifying ways in which you are attached to the “normal” self-perception you have come to project to the world, and how and why acting outside of the security of that persona feels threatening.
I live in a very small, conservative town where my children go to school and I work in a very conservative profession in this small town. After much contemplation I simply decided that I was not going to do the exercise because the potential consequences here were not worth the potential benefits. However, I had not taken into account that I had to make a trip to a different part of the state that week. The night before the trip I had a dream that I was shopping in a store and looked down to realize I was wearing a woman’s blouse.
It still didn’t connect for me but as I was driving down the road it began to dawn on me that here was the perfect opportunity to do the exercise and to try something I hadn’t even let myself consider in the past. I made an intention to stop at my favorite large thrift store on the way. I came out of the store with a pair of women’s bright, bright red skintight low rider jeans, a super sexy, silky purple blouse, and a pair of high heel ankle boots with cute little buckles (I have long had a heel fetish and buy my wife all kinds of heels). I was so excited I was breathing shallow. I stopped at a convenience store about fifteen minutes down the road, got gas, then went into the bathroom to change. I came out and high heeled over to my car feeling like I was in one of those dreams where you’re in front of the class and realize you don’t have your pants on.
I made an intention to stop everywhere I would normally stop and do everything I would normally do on the trip. I stopped at several thrift stores, a couple grocery stores, a few convenience stores, and a National Forest office. At the first two or three stops I was terrified about what people would think, say, or do. I desperately wanted at least to change into my sneakers before going in, but stuck to my intention. As I made more stops and got out more, however, I realized that I really didn’t care what people thought of me and my only real anxiety was regarding hostility, both physical and verbal. I met with no hostility other than an occasional snide remark or snicker behind my back. As my anxieties began to subside I was able to focus more on the erotic thrill of being in public dressed as I was. Though handsome, I have always been a very shy and reserved person but I found it very heady to literally be the center of attention wherever I went. And I found it very freeing to joyfully express myself in a way I had long wanted to and not have to worry about negative consequences. I think it is safe to say that there was not a single person who saw me that did not take the time to really look. I swear more women smiled at me in the two days I was out than had done so in the last five years combined, and though most of those smiles looked a little bemused, some were genuine and there were only a small handful of women that sneered, snickered, or made snide remarks. There was one attractive lady in one of the thrift stores who made a point of approaching me and starting a friendly conversation; all of the clerks where as polite and courteous as they usually are when I’m dressed “normal:” most men checked me out but tended to look a little disgusted. My last stop was a “Lover’s Package” store where I stopped to find a pair of panties. The staff there were very polite and helpful and one of the clerks, very tall and gorgeous, jokingly asked me if I wanted to try her boots on, a sexy pair of high heeled calf boots. We chatted for awhile, she helped me pick out a pair of panties, and then told me about an alternative bar in town I might enjoy checking out!
As I said, this was my first time being out crossdressed and it was a fantastic experience! The reason I think of myself as a “fairy” is that although I love wearing women’s clothing I don’t have any real interest in transforming nor acting femme. Even dressed as I was I still acted my normal self, though without the rough edges admittedly, but it was the high heeled boots that really put it over the top for me and I couldn’t get that old Black Sabbath tune out of my head, “Fairies wear boots yeah you gotta believe me…” Now I’m hoping to find others to go out with on occasion!
- Thumbelina