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Elizabeth 66
04-08-2010, 08:55 AM
When I was young I used to act like a girl and play with girls all the time, but as I got older my dad wanted to make me into a man, he would stop me playing with my sisters and her friends, so really for a long time I really had no friends at all, at school I was like an outcast, because I wasn’t interested in being friends with the lads because I found it hard to relate to them, and I still do. Also when I whenever I got the chance I used to sneak and dress in my sisters clothes, But my dad was serious about making me into a man, I remember when I was about six or seven he made me dress in my sisters night dress as I was acting like a girl, I enjoyed the feeling of wearing it until he invited one of the few friends I had into the house to see me, they made me feel so ashamed.

Over the next few years I tried to act like a man, when I was around eight I got a girlfriend, we were more like best friends really, we never kissed once but did everything together till we moved when I was eleven, I went to high school and my friends were all girls, although I had only one or two, instead of woodwork and metal work I did Home economics and needlework, My mum and dad sent me to see a child psychiatrist when I was young, I’m not sure of my age, but I do know I was sent away to boarding school because they said that it wasn’t good for me to be in such a female environment. And I was too close to my mum. So at the age of 13 I was packed away, made to do boys stuff such as rugby and cricket, but still my best friend was a girl.

When I left school I went to secretarial school for a year, I was the only lad in the class, then I went into catering, I was very happy, and although wasn’t wearing female clothes, I was very effeminate, and always had fresh flowers which I bought myself and arraigned in my flat, and loved to make it look nice.
When I was 20 I had to move back home, and my dad decided he would have another go at making me into a real man, after all he had been in the SAS so you couldn’t get more of a man, he got me a job in a painting company with all men, I hated it, and left after two weeks, and got a job in a supermarket, her I was ok, I had female friends again.

I had my first girlfriend at the age of 21 and got married at 25, sex was never good for me, I have never like woman to do thing for me, having my genitals played with, well I find it boring, I does nothing, I was married for ten years and had three beautiful daughters. I was a single dad since they were 10 and took them shopping for clothes and make-up, it was like having dolls of my own, yes I used to play with my sisters dolls too.

I have been on and off medication for depression for most of my life, and have never felt happy with my body, I don't hate it, just there always been something not quite right about it, I have never looked at a man and wished I had a body like his, but I often see woman I and wished I had a body like there's.

But here I am now, confused! and why, because I don't find most men attractive, and I say most because I have found some feminine men attractive, also I have never shown this side of myself for years, although have been asked if I was gay a few times because I have some female mannerisms ( if that is the correct word ) I know I have jumped about on this post, and it is long, but I am trying to find myself, and decide a direction for my life, as my girls have recently left home.

Really any help and advice would help; this has been hard for me because there is a lot here I have never told to another soul. Feel free to ask any questions, and I will try to answer them.

luvSophia
04-08-2010, 09:01 AM
Well, if you are looking to find yourself the answer is inside yourself. And the best person to help you find that is a therapist. I realize it is hard for you all on the other side of the pond to get in and see one if you are using NHS, but it really is the best resource to start out with.

sherri52
04-08-2010, 09:23 AM
Hi Sarah: I can't answer as to who you are, only you can do that. I will say that you have come to the right place. Many of us here have similar thoughts running through our minds and others have found themselves and partly due to this forum. Hearing from others that feel the same way you do makes a person realize that we are not alone.

GypsyKaren
04-08-2010, 10:46 AM
You're starting out right by asking yourself the right question, "who am I?" instead of "what am I?". It's easy to say that you should feel this or that, but you can't base things on how others felt because everyone's different.

Therapy is usually good because it gets you talking so that you can find the answers, but you could try asking yourself how you'd feel with the clothes, activities, and sex out of the question...strip yourself down to he core and then ask yourself, "who am I?"

Karen :g1:

Solarhawk
04-08-2010, 11:02 PM
Agree, agree, and agree... therapy is a good idea, not "you're mentally insane" therapy, but a professional who is there to help and listen, and knows the right questions to ask to help you find out yourself who you are (also glad you didn't say "what am I").

I think one of the biggest misconceptions of being transgendered is people think it automatically means something to do with who you are attracted to. There is genetic sex, gender (your mental association and image of who you are), who you are attracted to, and several other aspects that make up your sexual identity. Just because one of these doesn't match another one, doesn't mean they're all different.

Jesse

Elizabeth 66
04-09-2010, 04:50 PM
Thanks everyone for the warm welcome, i have already made a few friends, and had some great advice.

makyo
04-09-2010, 09:12 PM
I totally identify with many of your experiences... I have a dad who also was very into pushing me to be a "real man".... then, I spent long time keeping everything buried as much as possible and always trying to act as manly as possible... but now I'm at the point where things start to be not easily contained.

When I dress I feel such a deep inner peace and relaxation! It feels so natural. Feels like that's what I'm meant to be, it totally makes sense... I feel finally at home... I'm sure you all know what I mean.