Outed online

[Karen Johnson]

I love to play poker and have found that you can play for fun on Pokernet. You pick a player name and use a photo (if you want) then start playing with fake money. It can be a lot of fun.

It is nice to be able to interact with folks as a female. Most people have been very nice. I've even been flirted with a time or two. Unfortunately, like some of you beautiful ladies, I can be "read" by a discerning eye. I have been asked a time or two if I was a guy in drag. Usually I would ignore them or tell them to be nice.

This morning I was asked and I told the truth, that yes I was a guy in make-up. This person started saying all sorts of horrible and threatening things. I responded that what I did was none of his business. He rambled on and on with his threats and accusations.

Two awarenesses came from this encounter. First, judging by what he was saying he knew nothing of what crossdressing is all about. I'm not a flaming homo (well, maybe a little bi, but that's beside the point), I'm not out to molest his kids or any of the other crazy things he was accusing me of.

Secondly, and most importantly, I felt no shame at being "exposed" as a crossdresser. I am a transvestite and I am (finally) okay with that. For so many years the thought of being found out or exposed filled me with this terrible dread that many of you ladies know so well. I do like to dress in women's clothes and really, so what? That doesn't make me a terrible person. Just a guy in a cute dress.

And thank you to this forum and its members who have helped me to get past the shame and feel comfortable being who I am.

P.S. Maybe some of us ladies can get together and have an online game sometime?

[April Renee]

I'm sorry that happened to you but I don't think it was what is considered as being outted. You said that as a player you pick a name and avitar, you yourself put that out there so nobody outted you but yourself. What happened to you was a random d bag on a live forum started spewing his narrow mined opinions and trying to get a rise out of you, which is most often called trolling. Besides, this happened online and this cyber space joker may have been playing poker wearing an adult diaper and baby bonnet or whatever gets him through his day....It sounds like you handled this jerk pretty good, were you holding a full house or?......
.
April

[AKAMichelle]

I'm glad that you didn't let this scare you off. I hate the labels especially the flaming homo one.

I never thought about it, but with makeup I may be able to have a better poker face. :D

[kristinacd55]

Sounds fun Karen, when do you play? :)

[Jessy]

The internet has given everybody a voice, and most people decide to use it. I've learned in my years online that many people are just more rude because they don't face a person, and feel safe saying whatever they want from behind their computer. Sometimes it's just their opinion. And some people unfortunately make it a sport visiting all kinda sites just to do their deal of badmouthing and swearing on people in a mean way. Guess we gotta live with that.

It's good to hear that this experience didn't get you down. You say you're feeling comfortable accepting yourself, and are not ashamed to be who you are. And that's most important.

[Michelle-Leigh]

This morning I was asked and I told the truth, that yes I was a guy in make-up. This person started saying all sorts of horrible and threatening things. I responded that what I did was none of his business. He rambled on and on with his threats and accusations.

Two awarenesses came from this encounter. First, judging by what he was saying he knew nothing of what crossdressing is all about. I'm not a flaming homo (well, maybe a little bi, but that's beside the point), I'm not out to molest his kids or any of the other crazy things he was accusing me of.

Secondly, and most importantly, I felt no shame at being "exposed" as a crossdresser. I am a transvestite and I am (finally) okay with that. For so many years the thought of being found out or exposed filled me with this terrible dread that many of you ladies know so well. I do like to dress in women's clothes and really, so what? That doesn't make me a terrible person. Just a guy in a cute dress.

Do you have any contact info for this jerk ? If you do, please direct me to him so that I may confront him, do battle with him, and at last best him. If he is within 100 miles of Rocky Mount, NC, I shall also challenge him to come out onto the floor of the Star City roller rink with me at a predetermined time, so that I may play "Roller Derby" with him and put him in the Nash General Emergency Care Center. :devil:

[divamissz]

Did you save the conversation? If so, contact Pokernet's management and file a harassment complaint. I don't know the site but I bet there's something in their TOS about threatening other players, using abusive language, etc. You're not going to change his mind, so punishing him is the best you can hope for.

I don't play poker; my life is enough of a gamble :P

[t-girlxsophie]

Thing is we can take the Clothes,makeup off,but the Bigots are rotten thru and thru,and as such are to be Pitied.I hope you won a few $ off him as well

[Dutchess]

Besides, this happened online and this cyber space joker may have been playing poker wearing an adult diaper and baby bonnet or whatever gets him through his day.....
April

Some of these posts today are fabulous !! I am so glad I stopped in ....

I too am sorry this has happened to you , this kind of narrow mindedness happens to my husband at work ( naval air station) because he is from europe including rude comments about sex/dope as he is from Holland ,,so I wouldnt even want to know what they would do if they found out the rest ...( it is one of the reasons he wants to go home ... )

I agree,, you should report this .

[Tracii G]

I got outed on a forum a while back and was called all sorts of names.
Me being me I just kept up acting like a lady and some of the others just said hey we're OK with it so don't let that homophobe bother you.
Turns out one of the guys I chat with said he was gay and that he never told anyone so I said yeah me too just never mentioned it.
We swapped email addys and have become good cyber friends.

[Kaz]

On-line no-one knows who you are (OK to a point! I know it isn't so simple anymore) - photos are what they are - Tracii is right, if you stand your ground...

Having said that...if you have got into a "situation"... back out... they do go away! We have more stamina than "them" whoever they are... After all...we want to be us... they don't get to choose (their mindsets won't allow this) - who would you rather be?

Kaz xx

[Sarah Doepner]

I'm sorry to hear things like this. I love the suggestion to bring his behavior to the attention of the site managers, they shouldn't allow that kind of behavior.
This may have been the time for creative confrontation. Rather than let him continue on the offensive, ask just exactly what he is afraid of. How does your crossdressing create a threat that frightens him so baddly that he attacks without first thinking? Does he fear his own masculinity? Does he even know what masculinity even means? Where does he get his information about crossdressers? Tell him once he gets some accurate information maybe you would talk with him, but until that happens, just shut the hell up and play poker. It's always possible that his mind is like concrete, all mixed up and permanently set, but we never know without trying.

[Mistybtm]

Sounds fun Karen, when do you play? :)

yes sounds like fun maybe a bunch of us could get on and play together:D

[cdcheryl]

I am all in!!

[Alice Torn]

Twice, on Hot or Not, I received a blistering attack, because of my photo as a gal! Sounded very similar.

[crossdrezzer1]

pm me the web site to play texas hold em? dont know of any

[Emily01]

i think that was really nice the way you gave props to the girls here. and i think i agree with you in that i too feel more confident and accepting of myself since i joined. a slow process to be sure, but i have noticed a difference. thanks for mentioning that!:thumbsup::thumbsup:

[VikkiVixen7188]

I play at pokerstars.net as Red7188

people online are generally assholes, and more so online because they can say anything with no consequences. Look at youtube for more examples.

[marlacd]

Knuckle draggers are everywhere. Don't let it bother you. If he doesn't want to play nice, then he can just pick up his dollies and go home.:heehee:

[stephanie100]

With the girl who want to play roller ball with him personally Id prfer golf i wouldnt talke any golf balls id use his:D
These things happen on and off line and framkly no amount of education will convince them we are not what they think dont let it get you down. :hugs:

[Marcie4you]

Well said Sarah! May I use that quote? :)

[Mea GG]

pm me the web site to play texas hold em? dont know of any
If you join Facebook there is a free online poker game of Texas Hold Em.