Coming out with a close friend

[johannem]

I haven't come out of the closet with any of my friends or family, but have a strong desire to share my "secret" with somebody up close and personal, as it were. My roommate, a woman I've known for 25+ years, got a quick glimpse of my lingerie and heels the other day when she went into my bathroom. She acted embarrassed, gave me a strange look, but hasn't said a word about it since. I want to talk to her about it, but can't quite seem to get up the courage. I'm afraid she will tell me to move out so as not to "negatively influence" her 9 year old son. She's pretty open-minded about most things, but very protective about anything having to do with her son.
Can any of you girls offer some advice here? Am I being too cowardly?

[mklinden2010]

I think "the look" may have said it all.

"Oh, I hope this isn't what I think it is.... Not here."

The nine year old in the picture is a deal-breaker. The kid is just too impressionable and you are not family, in any case. Not that that matters so much - since most kids get bad things done to them by someone who's related to them.

Still... Before you get blamed for something, anyone freaks out, or, the kid gets into your things, have a talk with her along the lines of, "You might have noticed, the other day..."

Better you should both make some rules or find new roomies than the house comes crashing down on you both.

As for outing yourself further, find a support group and start there.

You're already probably out with your housemate, but she's got other things to work on. Deal with what needs to be done with her and move on to more appropriate venues for the rest...

Thanks for asking.

[Leelou]

Your feeling that she probably wouldn't want her son exposed to your crossdressing is probably correct. She's known you a long time and must feel safe with you, but I wouldn't bring it up unless she does.

She knows now about your CD'ing, but she probably wants that part of who you are to remain private. Otherwise, she would have said something.

[Thalia]

You know, if your housemate as not had any indications you're a crossdresser in the past, why assume that she jumps to conclusions. Could she possibly think you have a girlfriend?

[Jessy]

Since you say she is a close friend and pretty open-minded, I can see why you would like to come out to her. Just talk to her in private, without her son being around. If she is accepting, there's still always room for making agreements. After all, you have been crossdressing all along and never has it been a negative influence, so why would it be after she knows?

Be prepared to answer questions, and make sure to let her feel comfortable with it too. After all you won't be a different person, and basically you aren't asking to be dressed up around her and her son... yet :D Nah just kidding, I guess you get the point. If she's been a friend for so long I think it should be alright.

[johannem]

Thank you all for the advice. My roomie knows I don't have a girlfriend. My intuition tells me that Leelou is right; if she doesn't bring it up then it must not be that important to her. I think she is being respectful of my privacy and self-dignity and probably won't bring it up unless I decide to flaunt it in front of her son. She acts like nothing ever happened and hasn't indicated in any way that she knows or feels uncomfortable about it. Perhaps I should just let it go and not mention it unless she brings it up in the future.

[mklinden2010]

**My intuition tells me that Leelou is right; if she doesn't bring it up then it must not be that important to her.


I checked with my main voodoo guy about your conclusion - he's big on intuition.

He said something like this:

"Yeah, dat's the same ol' intuition that clued him in not to leave dose things where they de could be found in his bathroom by her or de son - the nine year old son dat she's so protective of...

Yeah, sure, tell him to go with dat ol' intuition...

Oh, and hey, when he's out house-hunting with dat ol' intution, get him and that ol' intuition to buy me some winning lottery tickets. A half dozen shouldn't be too hard to manage with intuition like dat...

Oh, and himself and dat ol' intuition should sho get a couple for deselves.

His mojo is dat good, from all he done said..."


Did I mention he's a cajun voodoo guy?

My intuition tells me he's on to something...