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View Full Version : I went outside for the very first time, tonight!



Simply_Vanessa
04-11-2010, 06:07 AM
With butterflies fluttering in my stomach like no other, I mustered up the courage to see what the world has to offer on the other side.
I stood through my mom tearing up as she did my make up for the first time.
None of my sisters or my mom had seen Vanessa until tonight, they only heard about her.
I then had to steal my sisters car to drive one hour to go to a dinner in a rented banquet hall at a restaurant, with about 42 other crossdressers.

I managed to get a RSVP like 3 days past the deadline from a wonderful woman named Marla :)
She even offered to meet me outside, and walk me into the restaurant since this was my first time out. To my surprise, she said I passed. despite this ex footballer/bodybuilder body, I passed somehow. a few others told me the same.

I had such a wonderful time! I felt so nervous at first even as I was inside with so many other people just like me! But I met so many friendly faces (and even got recognized from this website by one person :battingeyelashes:) who made me feel right at home. I loosened up a bit and had fun! I had shown up to the dinner like 2 hours late, and spent 2 hours there. Needless to say, once I was having fun, I didn't want it to end so soon.

The majority of the magic of this night actually happened after the dinner, all the way an hour back into my hometown.

It all got to my head. All those compliments of potential passability got the best of me. I never planned on going out in 'real' public tonight, only to a place where I knew I would be accepted...
I decided to go to the most desolate convenience store still open in the next town over after driving home.

I walk in, and ask for a pack of marlboro reds. He asked for ID, and I mentioned how I only had guy ID :heehee:. Since this was my first contact with the real world as her, I candidly asked him what gave me most. He only said, my voice. Nothing else.

I nearly bursted from happiness when I got back into the car! So whats the next logical step? Go to walmart at 11pm to stroll around, of course :)

I almost flaked out. I drove away from the parking lot only to drive back. I finally stepped out after waiting for the twenty somethings to walk in (I figured they would be my worst critics)
So I walk in, and see some young mexican guys with beer walking out right next to me. I cringed on the inside, maintained my confidence outside. As I walked away I only heard:

"Damn, shes like, 6 feet tall"

Nothing eventful happened as I walked around for a while. People looked at me as normally as I could ask for. Nothing was said. No one even looked at me confused, or awkwardly.

So I walked back to the exit. The lady at the exit said goodbye.
So I had some fun with it. I threw on a really deep voice (since I have not done that much voice training yet, and I would be given away anyways) and said "you too."

Her expression was priceless!
Passing in real public has made me the happiest I have been in a very, very, long time.

Such as fantastic night <3

Mea GG
04-11-2010, 06:13 AM
Oh, what a great story! You must be dancing on air. Such freedom to roam!
good for you. it sure was worth it to be brave, wasn't it?

Elaine Michelle
04-11-2010, 06:50 AM
Thanks Vanessa for sharing this experience. You told the story very well.

The second sentence


I stood through my mom tearing up as she did my make up for the first time.

really touched me. With a start like that, the whole evening must have been a very emotional experience for you.


Elaine

Rianna Humble
04-11-2010, 06:54 AM
Hi Vanessa, what awonderful experience :hugs: It's great that you have the support of your family. Just a couple of words of caution - going shopping en drab will never be the same again and you will want to go out en femme more and more often.

When that happens, give in to it! You will find it even gets easier the more you do it.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with us.

PretzelGirl
04-11-2010, 08:38 AM
What a wonderful experience! To me, it can be very helpful to have your first experience with "others like us". But you had quite a night. And I would like to hug your mother myself! That she would help you get ready on your first night is so touching. Congrats!

StaceyJane
04-11-2010, 08:53 AM
What a great night!

ellenwannabe
04-11-2010, 08:57 AM
congrats to you - and it is such a great feeling - enjoy it - Ellen

Michelia
04-11-2010, 10:27 AM
I enjoyed reading your story.

It really sounds like it was an amazing first time out. And for you to go to a Walmart on your first time out! That is a big thing. What confidence all of a sudden!

If you had not told your story with such candor I probably would not have believed it. It took me a long time to venture into a Walmart. And I still do not like going there. I will walk into any mall anytime rather than go to a Walmart! I hate all those lines full of people at the check out all looking at me. Maybe going at the time you did is not so bad, but still. Congratulations!

johannem
04-11-2010, 11:01 AM
Thank you for your story - it touched me a great deal!
Looking at your profile picture I can see why you had no problem passing as a woman, and a very attractive one at that, I must say. I'm so glad your first "outing" was such a wonderful experience. I applaud you for your bravery and resolve. I'm considering my first outing myself, but haven't summoned up the courage to do it yet. You have inspired me to "take the plunge" and not worry so much about how others will react. I'm going to do it, damn it!

Dee2U
04-11-2010, 11:05 AM
Thank you for this beautiful story. Not only for what happened to you; but also for HOW you shared it with us. You write very well and enchanted us....Dee

AKAMichelle
04-11-2010, 01:10 PM
Congratulations

You just changed your life forever. You are one of the lucky ones. You will live your life as you.

AllieSF
04-11-2010, 02:56 PM
Congratulations Vanessa. I assume that you went to the River City Gems monthly social. They are such a great group and really are a family full of support, help and just plain fun. Marla and Rachael do so much to make everyone comfortable. Thanks for sharing your encouraging experience.

Simply_Vanessa
04-12-2010, 12:17 AM
Thank you for your story - it touched me a great deal!
Looking at your profile picture I can see why you had no problem passing as a woman, and a very attractive one at that, I must say. I'm so glad your first "outing" was such a wonderful experience. I applaud you for your bravery and resolve. I'm considering my first outing myself, but haven't summoned up the courage to do it yet. You have inspired me to "take the plunge" and not worry so much about how others will react. I'm going to do it, damn it!

thank you very much :) And I wish the best of luck to you when you go out! prepare to be liberated.


Congratulations

You just changed your life forever. You are one of the lucky ones. You will live your life as you.

Isn't it amazing? I honestly thought I would have a hard time passing, ever. To be barely at the beginning of this epic transformation and already free to walk around public, is very encouraging. I can't wait to see a skinnier, more feminine version of me with much longer hair in 6 months :)


Oh, what a great story! You must be dancing on air. Such freedom to roam!
good for you. it sure was worth it to be brave, wasn't it?

You know it, Mea :battingeyelashes:

girlalex
04-12-2010, 01:37 AM
wow. it was a pleasure reading your story. im glad you had such a great time i wish i could do the same. i bet realizing that you are easily passable was like being born again only into the person you wished to be. it is what it is. a dream come true. i don't have anyone to go out with thats my problem.:straightface: and by myself especially for the first time is a big NO NO.

Simply_Vanessa
04-12-2010, 06:43 PM
Alex

whaaat? you look like THAT and have never been out? I think you'd have no trouble passing with a quality wig or if you grew your hair out. I dont know how I managed to go to those places without anyone I knew, but if I could do it, anyone can. you can't let that hold you back, hun! because you look great! :)

PhillyGuy2Girl
04-12-2010, 06:47 PM
Great story Vanessa. So happy to hear CD stories like that. You go girl!





Felicity

jenna_woods
04-12-2010, 06:55 PM
thanks for shareing with us, its a nice story, and well told.

Staci G
04-12-2010, 06:55 PM
There is nothing better than going out and just being the girl you want to be. I love the fact your mom did your makeup that is just sweet. I envy you being able to go out like that and just forgetting the guy underneath it all. I do go out but I am usually a nervous wreck the whole time. I hope to be able to meet some of the other girls on here SOON I think i need the acceptance to really enjoy the outting. Congrats on your first night out and I hope you have many more very soon.:hugs:

sherri52
04-12-2010, 06:58 PM
That was a great story Vanessa. I'm glad you had a good time. I would have liked to be in the store when you gave that deep voice answer, that would have been priceless.

sissystephanie
04-12-2010, 07:02 PM
Vanessa, that is a great story! Now that you have gone out, you will have to keep doing it.

When my late wife was still alive she always did my makeup and fixed my wig if I was going out. When she passed away, I decided that Stephanie was just going to go out looking like a guy in a skirt since I am lousy at makeup and fixing my wig. I go everywhere like that including to Walmart! Hardly anyone pays any attention to me, unless to offer a compliment on my outfit. I definetly look like a man, but dressed totally as a female! So you can do your thing any time, you are a good looking "woman!"

krissy
04-12-2010, 07:05 PM
hey good for you ! thats sooo great im glad you took the step :hugs::hugs:

Rachel Morley
04-12-2010, 11:42 PM
Hey girlfriend :hugs: ... I told you you look cute :)

Wow! ... I had no idea you were really going to go for it that much after the dinner. You are an inspiration to us all with that level of confidence. Awesome! I missed saying goodbye to you and I nearly walked all the way across the parking lot as I saw you getting in your car. Oh well next time.

Anyway, well done you! Now the genie's out of the bottle, your life will never be the same again :)