feeling guilty

[sadie67]

firstly let me apologise for not being in the forum for the last several months i've tried to make a go of things with my wife & to this end i stopped using the forum
Secondly i have really struggled with my crossdressing i'm not sure if anyone else has experienced emmotions like this but the longer i try to push it further away from my life the worse it seems to get i am now starting to harbour a grudge against my wife & am thinking up ways to end the relationship & to be honest i'm a bit gutless when it comes to telling her its over i suspect she still has feelings for me:sad:

[AllieSF]

Welcome back Sadie. It is commendable the effort you have made to focus on your relationship and not just your CDing. It can't be easy for you. I think that this is my "therapy recommendation" month, because I have done so frequently lately. However, if you have not attempted it yet, I would highly recommend it. It is very easy to think of a way out when a long standing issue just does not seem to get resolved. I know because that happened to me several times during my past marriage. Marriage counseling will not necessarily keep you married. It will, however, help both of you to talk about it openly and honestly and maybe save it, or find a way to amicably separate. I know when I had similar thoughts to yours, they were predominantly that the grass would be greener once separated. It wasn't greener, it wasn't grass, it was crabgrass. So, try it since it could help save what you have and help both of you for the future. Good luck.

[Shelly Preston]

Do you think ending the marriage is the the right action to take ?

Why don't you talk things over with your wife and you may be able to come to a compromise

I suppose the first question is does she know about your dressing ?

If not then I think you will have to consider telling her

[Hope]

You don't provide a lot of information (and I have neglected to look at your previous posts to try to suss some of this out) but it sounds to me like contemplating a divorce might be premature. For a good number of people, cross dressing and marriage are not mutually exclusive, and I would guess that most wives, if you told them how you felt (that you were developing a grudge, and thinking of ending your relationship) would be much more open than they had been in the past. Your wife may well be different, but from your post, it sounds like you have not had a lot of communication with your wife about how you feel. And you need to. You owe it to her, and you owe it to yourself.

[Soriya]

Sadie, if I may....

Why do you feel you need an 'excuse' to end the relationship? This actually has nothing to do with CD'ing but if you personally don't overall want to be in it, trying to find an excuse is very telling. Why do you need an excuse? Even without telling her about CD'ing, are you happy overall in the realtionship? Ask yourself these question, especially if your not happy overall but feel you need an excuse. Chances are the answer is something about you you mentally don't want to face.

using myself as an example, in my marriage that has ended, for years I was not happy and didn't like the way I was treated and how the relationship was going as a whole. I had it in my mind that if I pissed her off, she would divorce me and to a degree, I was right. I had though until recently it was her I was afraid of but what it really was, was nothing to do with that. I was afraid I would be alone. If she divorced me, I would be faced with one of my ultimate fears which is being alone. Obviously everyone's situation is different but just using myself as an example. take CD'ing out of the equation and ask yourself what it is that makes you feel like you need an excuse to end the relationship. Once you have that figured out, you can make better informed decisions. :)

[sherri52]

Welcome back Sadie. I would hate to see your relationship come to an end. I have gone through this with two wives, it is not a good reason to divorce in my opinion. Try to come up with a compromise with your wife. At the worst you'll get your divorce that you might like. If all goes well she may noy embrace the dressing but allow it within reason to save the marriage. You think she loves you, the question is do you love her? I know you resent her for not embracing the dressing, but setting that aside is there love. She married the man not the crossdresser let her work into the dressing and you may end up with a wonderful family. I would give up some nights of dressing for a good woman.