gabimartini
04-11-2010, 10:03 PM
Hi All,
Here's a post about my first evening out with my SO. It ran a little longer than intended, so please bear with me...
Yesterday, I went out with my SO. We went to this club that enforces a dresscode for patrons. Pretty much everything goes, and CDers are also welcome. We thought this would be friendly enough of a place for my night life debut. Unfortunately, the place turned out to be a big disappointment. It was too small, overcrowded and the music was horrible. We felt totally left out and took off after 15 minutes. CDing-wise, it was uneventful. Nobody looked at me, maybe because I passed, maybe because they didn't care, maybe because the place was dark, maybe all or none of the above.
We were both a bit frustrated, walking back to where we had parked (a couple blocks away), ready to go home. However, on the way back there was a 24-hour grocery store. My SO said we needed some stuff. She asked whether I'd like to come or wait in the car. My knees buckled but I said, nope, I'm going in with you.
Right at the entrance there was a group of 10 to 15 youngsters, probably in their late teens and early twenties. I almost freaked out because they are generally observant and merciless. I was looking down and my SO said, nobody is paying attention to you, get your chin up and walk like a lady! That gave me a jolt of self-confidence!
Once inside, the store wasn't full but it wasn't deserted either. So, we started to run into other shoppers and staffers in the aisles. We were both gauging their reaction and demeanor, and simply put, people were not paying ANY attention to me! None whatsoever! I started to relax and chat to my SO using my female voice (which has thankfully improved), no looks. Sometimes I was no more than a couple feet from these people and even then, nothing!
Slowly it started to dawn on me that I was unarguably passing in the middle of a very well-lit, non TG-friendly place. The emotions that started to surge my body and flood my mind are hard to describe. For the very first time in my life, without an inkling of a doubt, I was able to express the female I carry inside and be recognized as female! Not as a freak, an oddity, a mutant, an outcast, just another 30-something gal running a late-night grocery-shopping errand with a friend. It doesn't get any better than this!
Out of the whole experience, only two people may have suspected something, a young woman and a night guard. The chick took a surveying second look but was cool about it. The guard was looking, pointing and snickering next to a coworker of his, while we were waiting in line to pay. A real ass, but by then I was on cloud nine and unfazed about it. Funny thing the cashier herself didn't even look.
Last but far from least, can't thank my SO enough for her companionship, love and support! I'd never have pulled it off without her!
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading!
PS: I posted a pic of my outfit in a new album (First Night Out), be sure to check it out and please do let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is welcome.
Here's a post about my first evening out with my SO. It ran a little longer than intended, so please bear with me...
Yesterday, I went out with my SO. We went to this club that enforces a dresscode for patrons. Pretty much everything goes, and CDers are also welcome. We thought this would be friendly enough of a place for my night life debut. Unfortunately, the place turned out to be a big disappointment. It was too small, overcrowded and the music was horrible. We felt totally left out and took off after 15 minutes. CDing-wise, it was uneventful. Nobody looked at me, maybe because I passed, maybe because they didn't care, maybe because the place was dark, maybe all or none of the above.
We were both a bit frustrated, walking back to where we had parked (a couple blocks away), ready to go home. However, on the way back there was a 24-hour grocery store. My SO said we needed some stuff. She asked whether I'd like to come or wait in the car. My knees buckled but I said, nope, I'm going in with you.
Right at the entrance there was a group of 10 to 15 youngsters, probably in their late teens and early twenties. I almost freaked out because they are generally observant and merciless. I was looking down and my SO said, nobody is paying attention to you, get your chin up and walk like a lady! That gave me a jolt of self-confidence!
Once inside, the store wasn't full but it wasn't deserted either. So, we started to run into other shoppers and staffers in the aisles. We were both gauging their reaction and demeanor, and simply put, people were not paying ANY attention to me! None whatsoever! I started to relax and chat to my SO using my female voice (which has thankfully improved), no looks. Sometimes I was no more than a couple feet from these people and even then, nothing!
Slowly it started to dawn on me that I was unarguably passing in the middle of a very well-lit, non TG-friendly place. The emotions that started to surge my body and flood my mind are hard to describe. For the very first time in my life, without an inkling of a doubt, I was able to express the female I carry inside and be recognized as female! Not as a freak, an oddity, a mutant, an outcast, just another 30-something gal running a late-night grocery-shopping errand with a friend. It doesn't get any better than this!
Out of the whole experience, only two people may have suspected something, a young woman and a night guard. The chick took a surveying second look but was cool about it. The guard was looking, pointing and snickering next to a coworker of his, while we were waiting in line to pay. A real ass, but by then I was on cloud nine and unfazed about it. Funny thing the cashier herself didn't even look.
Last but far from least, can't thank my SO enough for her companionship, love and support! I'd never have pulled it off without her!
Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading!
PS: I posted a pic of my outfit in a new album (First Night Out), be sure to check it out and please do let me know what you think! Constructive criticism is welcome.