Madeleine StClair
04-11-2010, 10:03 PM
So here's the thing: I am married to a very kind and generous woman who happens to be Japanese. She doesn't know about my CDing, but I think she should before too long (though as I've written elsewhere, right now would be a really bad time).
I'm just wondering if anybody here has come out to such a person, and how things worked out after that. Of course, I know every Japanese woman is an individual, just as every woman everywhere else is, but I think there are likely some common cultural traits that might affect how they react to something like this.
By the way, if you are reading this out of curiosity, and know a *little* about Japanese culture, you might be thinking "but isn't Japan very tolerant of crossdressing?" And on the surface it seems that way. But the reality is a bit more complex: you see, there's the arts world, where there is a long and respectable history of crossdressing performance. There are also a lot of so-called "gay bars" in Japanese cities. But the key thing to know is that Japanese life tends to be very compartmentalized. So it's fine to go the Kabuki theater and watch men playing female roles. But for many people it's not fine at all if their friend or their son is gay or puts on a dress. And the "gay bars" aren't hangouts for gay people, they're places that specialize in having, instead of the usual bar hostesses, effeminate young male hosts who may or may not actually be gay--and in any case they're just there playing a role.
But I digress. To get back to my situation: I'm really not sure what my wife thinks about crossdressing, but based on some remarks I vaguely recall from way back, I have the impression she thinks it's really icky. Then again, she's older now and has been in the US for 10 years, so maybe her views have changed.
Any insights or suggestions?
I'm just wondering if anybody here has come out to such a person, and how things worked out after that. Of course, I know every Japanese woman is an individual, just as every woman everywhere else is, but I think there are likely some common cultural traits that might affect how they react to something like this.
By the way, if you are reading this out of curiosity, and know a *little* about Japanese culture, you might be thinking "but isn't Japan very tolerant of crossdressing?" And on the surface it seems that way. But the reality is a bit more complex: you see, there's the arts world, where there is a long and respectable history of crossdressing performance. There are also a lot of so-called "gay bars" in Japanese cities. But the key thing to know is that Japanese life tends to be very compartmentalized. So it's fine to go the Kabuki theater and watch men playing female roles. But for many people it's not fine at all if their friend or their son is gay or puts on a dress. And the "gay bars" aren't hangouts for gay people, they're places that specialize in having, instead of the usual bar hostesses, effeminate young male hosts who may or may not actually be gay--and in any case they're just there playing a role.
But I digress. To get back to my situation: I'm really not sure what my wife thinks about crossdressing, but based on some remarks I vaguely recall from way back, I have the impression she thinks it's really icky. Then again, she's older now and has been in the US for 10 years, so maybe her views have changed.
Any insights or suggestions?