A chip on my shoulder

[Sarah_C]

Wow, all i did was look in the mirror in a low cut kinda top and all of a sudden i got thinking "theres no way i'd pass, look at my shoulders, such a male upper body" hit me really hard and i got really upset :(

But i have no idea why!! I dont particularly plan to go out en femme anytime soon, i just got kinda upset based on the fact i really dont look femme shoulder-wise!

Dont suppose anybody has any tricks of the trade to hide this, even some kind words to make me feel better would be nice? I'm a sad sarah tonight :(

[Jessy]

Well things can't always be perfect. But I'm sure it'll turn out just fine. Don't forget this is a journey that can be quite long. And as you see things on the way, the next step is gonna be improvement! :D

Best way is to make some pictures for your own reference so you can always look at them later when trying to improve things. Mirrors can be deceiving.

I'm no expert in this matter, but I think it's either a matter of doing exercises that could change your upper build a bit, or find the right clothing that covers it up.

[VikkiVixen7188]

How many GGs have PERFECT bodies? none.

Thought of an idea...

What if you padded up the rest of your body?

I think a lot of us shoot for thin, but if you padded your booty and hips, added a bigger tummy and larger breast forms, perhaps it would balance with your broader shoulders.

Its just an idea Im tossing out. Think Big sometimes :heehee:

[suchacutie]

Me too...broad shoulders and strong arms!

My wife and I have talked about this a lot. I bought a top that had a wide neck and I looked like my shoulders were yards wide. That top and skirt went to charity!!!

1) Do not wear tops with tight arms, or at least have another layer with looser arms.

2) Wear a top with as much of a V neckline as possible (cleavage would be helpful)

3) Wear a necklace that comes to a point.

4) If wearing stripes, they MUST be vertical.

5) Try to keep the hips to waist ratio as large as possible.

6) Any thing and everything you wear should imply a vertical-ness, not a horizontalness.

The other day my wife was amazed at how thin I looked. In fact I had gained a couple of pounds but I had on a fitted shirt with vertical strips, and pants that accentuated my thinner waist.

It works!!

:)

tina

[AllieSF]

I think that it is a matter of fantasy and dreams that we sometimes think that we can closely emulate attractive GG's and other Tgirls. Then one day we really do look in the mirror at ourselves and realize that we may never reach that dream look. I know that I will never look "that" good, so I accept the less than perfect result, go out and be myself and have a great time. I acknowledge to myself and to others that I know who and what I am, so I never feel disappointed with what I see in that all so truthful mirror. Yes, I have had a few moments of "I really do look bad". Fortunately, they are few and very far between. It is just a decision on your part to accept and love yourself as your are and take the positive side to enjoy yourself as best you can.

[celeste26]

99% of GG's don't measure up to those unrealistic standards so why even attempt it for ourselves. I go for the average look and then blend in with everyone. I'm sure that you're being rather harsh in your judgments and you probably fit within the wide range of "average girls".

[Annaliese2010]

Aw Sarah don't feel bad. I say BE who you are; somewhere in the in-between; not at either extreme; not male not female; your spirit is a marriage of something divine and something common; between heaven and earth have you been placed - like an angel hovering. So don't strive to be a 'woman' if you don't have a very feminine physique. In a way you are more than a simple man or woman, if you think about it. You are a blending of both male and female attributes, probably where the female aspect of your personality is present to a much greater degree than in 'normal males' (where it's only at trace level) who are the great majority of the population. So...you are special to feel and BE the person you apparently are. Celebrate both the male and female in you, unless I got that wrong and you really actually do feel extremely feminine all the time. That's another story then. But if you actually have both maleness + femaleness by how you think feel and behave, find that happy medium, make it your own, and invent your OWN style that I bet would turn out to be something really hip, cool and uniquely yours! Its fun. Borrow fashion ideas from both worlds and use your own sense of style to combine them tastefully, in a coordinated way that makes you eye-candy for any passer-bye. So what if you have male shoulders - that's cool imo.

Don't feel you have to hide yourself - it's a never ending trip once you start down that path, plus you'll forever be judging yourself, distorting and hiding parts of your body to try to 'fit' some mold or model that you simply weren't meant to be hun. That's my opinion anyways. Celebrate and sing yourself! Find those features you want to accentuate and discover ways to do that in fashion mags or yea, tapping into ppl's vast experience here. But with respect to de-emphasis...yea, ok, but only to a point, not carried away with it or else you'll never be satisfied and deeply embedded in your subconscious, you will implant the concept that you are somehow inferior...when you're NOT! You are as you are. Emphasize a healthy lifestyle, good nutrition, sufficient sleep (hahaha...it's 1:50AM while I type this...oops!) and positive self-affirming thinking, and the rest is the application of your imagination and creative impulse to find your 'look'. Put it all together and wow...bet you're extremely desirable and alluring, in a way that's in snyc with your inner self. And when you got that kind of inner-outer fidelity, you walk the walk and talk the talk, cuz it all flows as a natural expression of who you are and what you're all bout baby! Ssssizzlin hotttt!

[eluuzion]

Obviously you do not have any sisters, or have not spent much time watching a GG get dressed in front of a mirror, lol. That would make you feel much better!

There is a reason all of those companies are selling tons of make-up, padding, concealers, botox, breast surgery, laser treatments, photoshop (lol), make-overs, fake nails, wigs, airbrushes, beauty tips and alcohol...:hugs:

Everyone is unique, and everyone is looking for that special someone who is "unique". Think Less, Act More. Enjoy what you have. (what you do not like...send to me, lol)

[Brandi Wyne]

Wear outfits with the shoulder board look. Lots of GGs like that and it accentuates the shoulders, not minimize them. Besides, who cares what "they" think. If you're a girl at heart, that's what matters most. :love:

[tamarav]

OK, think about this. A larger girl with wide shoulders and a not-too-pretty face. Does she hide in her room the rest of her life or make the best of what she has and enjoy life? There really is only one choice.

I work with some women that will make you look like a shrimp, seriously. Regardless of your size or structure, women all come in the same sizes, some bigger, some smaller, it is a fact of life.

Don't focus on what you feel are faults. Look at them as opportunities to shine in other ways.

If I had focused on all of my faults I would be working as a logger in South America or somewhere that no one would ever see me, and I am just a normal looking guy! Get real and accept what you have and learn to deal with it and modifiy your appearance to make you look more acceptable, to you. Without you feeling comfortable, no one else will either.

[Cathytg]

This is a wonderful opportunity for you. It is moment when you have forced to examine the motivation of your dressing. Are you into perfection of a look? Do you dress because you want to look fem to yourself? Spend some time looking very deeply into your own self to find out why this experience had the impact that it did.

[Karren H]

Passing isn't everything ya know!! Hell I know women what have male upper bodies and I never hear them whinning. People come in all shapes and sizes..

[Sarah Michelle]

I went to a wedding in the fall of last year. I watched the people mingle and move about the room. Of course I paid special attention to the women's outfits, what worked, what didn't, who knew how to dress what they had, who clearly didn't.
By the middle of the evening I had come to the conclusion that I out-dressed most of the women in the room. It's an unfair criticism becaue I only buy what suits me. I don't have to live and work in what I buy and I don't have competing interests for the money I spend on clothes.
We do ourselves the same disservice as the GGs when we compare ourselves to the ideals. Look at the people around you and cut yourself some slack.

[Blaire]

Easiest way to hide a feature is to make something related to it matching, but opposite.

For wide shoulders, wear a sharp angled low cut top. The eyes of an observer will be drawn away from your shoulders and down. If the top isn't an option, then a reasonably large pendant necklace will distract focus.

Our eyes tend to follow triangles to their vertex. If you have a V-neck top that has a pattern working towards the V, that's perfect.