Brandi Wyne
04-13-2010, 10:42 AM
Recently I had a harsh reality hit me. My life as a long time married person was over. I told myself that all I wanted was to make others happy and still try to fullfill my life as Brandi, too.
When it all hit the fan, I got angry. I complained that it was unfair, etc. After posting my feelings here and getting some harsh comments, I was hurt more. However, I am here to tell you that I see things more from the other viewpoint now and I admit, for all those years I was a liar and a deceitful fraud. I was trying to be self-sparing and avoid the rejection that was bound to happen, but as I finally turned the corner on it all and just decided that I wanted to be more open and honest, I got honest reactions; just not the ones I wanted.
Now, I am learning to live life again as a single person who must cope with both sides of who I am and do it without much support. It's OK. Really. I now realize that this step was the only way I would ever truly grow as a person. I won't insult others in my family by thanking them but I do now see and respect their point of view and their sharp rejection of me. Now I will try to be the real person from the start of any relationship outside of my work, as my male self is so engrained in my career that at present Brandi cannot be a part of that life. Even that may change as time goes by.
I guess I am saying that after the fire storm, the little grasses and flowers have a place to grow and prosper. I am happy for the opportunity to be a part of that rebirth and only hope that I can continue to let the love and kindness of Brandi grow in my heart and my life.
Hugs to ALL,
When it all hit the fan, I got angry. I complained that it was unfair, etc. After posting my feelings here and getting some harsh comments, I was hurt more. However, I am here to tell you that I see things more from the other viewpoint now and I admit, for all those years I was a liar and a deceitful fraud. I was trying to be self-sparing and avoid the rejection that was bound to happen, but as I finally turned the corner on it all and just decided that I wanted to be more open and honest, I got honest reactions; just not the ones I wanted.
Now, I am learning to live life again as a single person who must cope with both sides of who I am and do it without much support. It's OK. Really. I now realize that this step was the only way I would ever truly grow as a person. I won't insult others in my family by thanking them but I do now see and respect their point of view and their sharp rejection of me. Now I will try to be the real person from the start of any relationship outside of my work, as my male self is so engrained in my career that at present Brandi cannot be a part of that life. Even that may change as time goes by.
I guess I am saying that after the fire storm, the little grasses and flowers have a place to grow and prosper. I am happy for the opportunity to be a part of that rebirth and only hope that I can continue to let the love and kindness of Brandi grow in my heart and my life.
Hugs to ALL,