Random thoughts that have been eating at me.

[Starfire Jade]

I can get a guy with no problem but have no desire too, but I can't get a girl to save my life.

I'm more attractive than the self absorbed girls who ignore me as if I'm a joke on a daily basis.

I bestow the same rejection on men who hit on me, as girls bestow on me. Not because Im self absorbed but because I have no desire for men.

By day I'm the skinny 4 eye'd nerd who spikes his hair that everyone looks right through, by night I am the chained beauty from within that everyone desires.

I fail to see the irony.

[Karren H]

Yeah.... Life sucks then you die....

Maybe its time to think about changing teams?

[Starfire Jade]

What do you mean? that has so many definitions to it.

[tamarav]

It sounds like you spend more time looking for the negative than the positive. Enjoy life, don't give in to the dark side..

[Stacy L]

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When you least expect it you'll meet the right person.




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[Christie ann]

Jade

You are a beautiful girl. Enjoy! We, on this forum are all in this strange world where we want to be girls, or some reasonable facsimile but we don't necessarily want men in that equation...I have no answers.

But beware, the way you look, guys will be trying to...well you know what they will try. It is all about biology.

[GingerLeigh]

Women can smell fear and uncertainty, and men can just smell. Men are @#$#@% sometimes. They'll ogle you because you're pretty and well, they're men. Have you forgotten what they/we are like? Women are far pickier. Any girl can find a guy easily, but there are tons of single guys out there that couldn't get... you know. Enjoy being a girl when its time to do it. Don't be so surprised when the guys follow you around. I think that would flatter, but kind of annoy me, especially since I'm not into guys either.
All men need to work hard to find a nice girl. They must work even harder to keep them.

Ginger

[Karren H]

What do you mean? that has so many definitions to it.

Well first I have a friend who's whole philosiphy of life is "life sucks.... Then you die". And he pretty much makes himself misserable and doesn't even try to improve it..

Secondly. If you don't like what your doing.. Go do something you like! Loose the geekie guy and get srs (aka change teams)... And get contacts or lasik to loose the glasses... Or find a new hobby? Or even try guys..... In the same situation I would.. Maybe.. Ok probably not... I'd rather join a convent...

[Jessy]

Sounds so familiar really...
All my life I've never really had any luck with girls, maybe I just always fall for the wrong ones. When dressed up I feel so much better about myself and so much more comfortable being who I am. And I think this is exactly the key, because feeling good about yourself shows in your appearance, and makes a person more attractive.
But unlike you, I'm still closeted to everyone that I know so I can't say how guys in the street would look at me.

[kimdl93]

my theory is that the best way to "find" someone is to not look so hard. If you're looking for a girl that will be interested in you as Jade, then I'd start hanging out in places frequented by bi/gay women. But I wouldn't push it - just be yourself, learn to go with the flow and see what happens.

[Sarah...]

I fail to see the irony.

And yet you know there's irony there to see. Odd.

[zoe m]

my theory is that the best way to "find" someone is to not look so hard. If you're looking for a girl that will be interested in you as Jade, then I'd start hanging out in places frequented by bi/gay women. But I wouldn't push it - just be yourself, learn to go with the flow and see what happens.

Exactly. Don´t look too hard. And try to find women who also do not fit the norm in some way.

[mklinden2010]

I can get a guy with no problem but have no desire too, but I can't get a girl to save my life.

I'm more attractive than the self absorbed girls who ignore me as if I'm a joke on a daily basis.

I bestow the same rejection on men who hit on me, as girls bestow on me. Not because Im self absorbed but because I have no desire for men.

By day I'm the skinny 4 eye'd nerd who spikes his hair that everyone looks right through, by night I am the chained beauty from within that everyone desires.

I fail to see the irony.



I don't know you, but to save your life, you could get a girl. Not maybe a particular girl, but "a" girl? No problem.

You're not more attractive that the self-absorbed girls you're so self-absorbedly annoyed with.

Who's fault is it that you look like a skinny 4 eyed, etc.? Does your mother dress you funny, or, is it you?

As a comedy script, as a ironic take-off on ironic depressive navel contemplation, your post rocks!

"In life, you're either the belly button or the lint, never the t-shirt"

(What?)

Google Javier Garcia and see if you can steal some ideas...

The dude makes it work.

www.javiergarcia.net/english.htm

[Nicole Erin]

By day I'm the skinny 4 eye'd nerd who spikes his hair that everyone looks right through, by night I am the chained beauty from within that everyone desires.

I fail to see the irony.

Well, if you do decide to live full time as a woman, like being TS, your thin figure should definately help. Your avatar is not bad looking either :)

The dating scene does suck. It is especially pressuresome when you are younger, I am gonna guess you are early 20's? Heck I was Mr Buff and manly when I was a late teen and still had a hell of a time.

Of course I remember reading those stupid books about how to land a woman, and the advice was everything from ineffective to downright absurd, I mean strange crap. I had even invested in one of those books that has a flashy ads about crap like "the 5 words to say that are guaranteed to land any woman you want"... (What, are they, "I have One million Dollars"? )

To this day I have no idea what women want. So many theories and such but I do know - most people look at their own limitations and assume, "if I could change that, I would be well off". Well, sad to say, I overcame what I *thought* were mine and still had a hell of a time.

This might be bad advice but I might say if you can land the girl of your dreams while you are still young, it is best. You get to my age, 35, and pretty much all the women are taken or have excessive baggage, are busy, etc. You kind of get to a point of not giving a damn. But then for me, maybe it is cause I am so freshly divorced and not really looking or caring if anything happens.

I think ultimately, it boils down to luck. Sure like mklinden said, you can get "a" girl. However, if you sell yourself short or get with something you don't wanna be with, it is going to suck. Let us face it, no one wants a loon or some gross looking troll. Just do not scrap the bottom of the barrel, you would be better off single than to do that.

[AKAMichelle]

I know it is over simplified, but trying to be just friends first. Sometimes the best opportunities in life occur when you aren't looking for them.

Quit looking and let love find you!

[marny]

You're a poet. A brilliant lonely existence.

[Chickhe]

I think...and I'm not expert at it...but once you accept yourself you begin to feel better and you will radiate it...then they will come. One time I really experienced something like this was just after I got married...I felt great and had no urge to attract anyone else and that is the one time in my life when the women hit on me...go figure. I also knew a single friend who was so desperate to meet a girl, he actually scared them away and my wife was even scared to introduce him to anyone...the best policy is to just forget about it and do activities you like and just enjoy meeting people and making friends instead.

...but at the same time, I understand what you are getting at. Women do the attracting and men do the hunting. The woman are picky just because they have a lot to pick from.

[Persephone]

"In life, you're either the belly button or the lint, never the t-shirt"

OMGosh! That is like the best line ever! It's beside itself as meta-belly-button-gazing!

Wow! Love it!

[Andy66]

When you're not looking for anyone, you look happy and confident. When you're lonely, you look like a dog under a buffet table. :noidea2:

[Lexine]

I feel for you sweetie, I really do.

When I started toying around with online identity years ago, which was kinda the start of my interest in CDing/creating a new identity, it wasn't specifically because I was interested in gender ambiguity or identity online... all that came later. At that age, feelings of being hurt by women ate at me and I wanted to pass that pain along to other people. So I had guys I met online fall in love with my false identity and dumped them like they were bags of sand or made them feel helpless because they would never see me. In fact, in some way I hated other men because they took away the women that I loved. The fact that other men take the women that I loved is still true to this day... my ex-fiancee was stolen from me by my ex-best friend fairly recently.

So after losing the person that I loved what was I to do? My self-esteem was shot to hell and I'd forgotten who I was before I was with her. Somehow, CDing made me remember some of the dormant traits that I had. It even helps me with my self-confidence just walking into a store and passing as a girl (until I open my mouth that is LOL). I needed to do the things I did in order to improve me as a person.

Now how does this apply to you? Well, I'm in no rush to find someone who'll like me for who I am. Why? Because it's better to just enjoy life as it is and not even worry about finding someone to love. Wouldn't it be better to meet (not find) someone who will understand you or - better yet - be interested in what you're doing and accept you for everything that you are? I've been in many relationships when girls accepted me for what I was then started changing me to shape me into something that they want me to be.

I guess in short, work on yourself, build your confidence and maybe even try to expand your friendships by meeting other people outside of your immediate social circle. Who knows? The larger your social circle gets, the more likely your friends will meet who they might think would be good for you :)