Wondering

[tiffiany]

So lately Im been having more courage and been telling my friends about my crossdressing and its made my life so much better. So in a few days Im going to be visiting my mom for a week and a half and feel like its finaly time to tell her, just dont know really how to do it. Ive wanted to tell her for as long as I can remember, just something always would come up and I would just let it be. Im going to have a few days alone with her before my stepdad comes back from ca and feel like it would be the best time to tell her, just dont know how she will react and dont want it to ruin the whole trip. Do you think it would be wise to tell her as soon as I get there and just hope she was ok with it or should I maybe wait until the trip is almost over? I used to think she would be accepting of it as there were alot of things growing up that if I told her now it would make more sense, but now that both my mom and stepdad are both witnesses, Im just not sure how to deal with it. Im done my research so I feel like I could reason with them on it from the scriptures, just dont want to have to go there.

[Karren H]

Some moms have a way of loving you no matter what... But with God on her side... She may mount a campaign to save your soul what will be like living in hell..

[Cathytg]

Use the end of the trip as your Plan B. Let your Plan A be a matter of watching for a good moment. Be alert.

[Katesback]

Are you intending to dress in front of your Mom thereafter? You do realize there is a big difference between telling someone you are CD and actually presenting the CD part of you to them! The point is even if you tell her dressed as a boy it will still not register the same to her as if she saw the girl that you are.

I personally do not feel a need to tell people your story unless you intend to present to them as a CD. I myself am TS and I rarely tell people my story. I have just learned that it is not something worth discussing with many people.
I suspect the same thing applies to being a CD.

Also if you have no intention of presenting as a female to your Mom then what is the point of telling her? She has her image of you and there really is no reason to burst that bubble.

[Freddy12]

I agree with Cathy. Starting out with this revelation may make the rest of the time difficult.

Perhaps dropping little openings from time to time during the first part of the time will lead to a discussion.

Don't overreact to what she says during the first 24 hours after you tell her if she's upset. She loves you, and this may be a real shock.

[tricia_uktv]

Use the end of the trip as your Plan B. Let your Plan A be a matter of watching for a good moment. Be alert.

Is spot on. And it may take her a long time to come to terms with it. Be patient, and after telling her leave well alone until she brings the subject up again. Good luck.

[ellenwannabe]

my suggestion would be to go there in conservative female attire such as jeans and slightly femme sneakers and a wide neck plain color top and she may notice they are a bit feminine and then you can break it to her that you have always enjoyed female clothes and colors and styles - I wear such clothes all the time and once in a while someone comments but more often I'll hear a comment when I wear my short shorts and that may be another option for you as she will notice them - mom will probably accept it as she loves you and that is what makes you happy - good luck - Ellen

[AKAMichelle]

Only you know your mom. Tell her when it feels right. Give her time to ask questions. I personally think it should be sometime before you step dad comes back but that is just me.

[Jessica Who]

I told my mother two Decembers ago this is how I did it. I invited her to go to lunch with me during the week I was home from college (just the two of us). We went to a Greek restaurant and once we received our appetizers, I began telling her that I had a secret to reveal, something I had been hiding for many years.

I continued by saying that every so often I dress up like a girl. Of course, she had many questions like does my wife know etc etc...it went very well and believe it or not, our relationship strengthened after that day.

She and I were very close before, but after that day I knew I could really trust her with anything. Hope this helps, all the best sweetie. Just be confident in yourself and ready to answer lots of questions

Jessica

[noeleena]

Hi, Tiffiany.

If you are refering to your Mum as j w then my experance with them has been good as people , as a group iv spoken to many over the years , & a few i know .
They have not been bothered that i have changed from if you like male to female, as they know . & they have accepted me as i am . & i have been in a very large meeting with them , now we are not talking about any thing other than as people . As to faith it never came up in the context of what we are talking about ,

If this is the first time youv dressed in front of your mum & with out knowing what your relastionship is like with your mum , i would susjest dont over dress more like underdress so as not to make to much of a statment like, hey im a female . if you get my thoughts on this for a first meeting ,

& when to do it you would know best on that ,
I would at least spend some time with your Mum before springing this on her

instead of here i am all dressed up .i would be inclined to say to your mum some like how would you feel if i was dressed like a female & talk about that & go from there just as an idear.
I know its not easy, & time for your mum to get used to this could have a bearing on your friendship & with your step dad as well ,

I wish you all the best & sure hope it all goes well .

...noeleena...

[sherri52]

Enjoy your time together and nearing the end of that time when the feeling is right, then you tell her. Don't wait until the last day, but get some quality time in first.

[Hope]

There will never be a good time to tell your mother, you will simply have to buck up the courage, push your heart back down out of your throat, and tell her - you can manufacture a conversation that might make it easier to broach the subject, but I guarantee you that it will never come up organically on it's own.

Also, you can forget about arguing the scripture with your parents. Objections of that nature, that are cloaked in scripture are not logical, rational objections, they are emotional objections masquerading as religious objections, and they go looking to scripture for support. Trust me, I do this for a living. Having a religious debate with them will be like stepping on a land-mine. Everyone is killed or maimed. If they throw out a religious objection, DO NOT take the bait. Debates like this have a way of existing for decades in families, popping up at family gatherings forever after. Once people are intrenched in their position, they don't leave their trenches. The only way to win is to not get intrenched. The only way to avoid getting intrenched is to avoid having the fight. It's like the man in the grey flannel suit - you can't win, you can't break even, and you can't stop playing. So don't start playing!

Frankly, I would echo some of the other commenters. Question very seriously why it is you want to be out with your mom. Figure out why it is this is important to you. Is this a part of a larger process of coming out, or are you burdening your mother with information she doesn't need? If you are not coming out all together - unless you intend to go full time, or even a significant part time - if your dressing is in any way sexual, this is information that your mother does not need.

[Nicole Erin]

If this is going to bother you, might as well get it over with, or at least a few days before the trip.