Has she gone?

[Deborah Jane]

Has she gone?
The last time I "dressed" was New Years Eve, since then nothing. Everything is stored in bags and boxes, just in case she comes back, but for the last few months there has been no desire to be Debs.

The question is do I keep everything on the off chance that my dressing will return, or do I just get rid of it all and leave this part of me behind?

What do you think?......Gone for good or lurking in my subconcious waiting to come back at some time in the future?

[eileendover]

What's the harm in keeping everything around? If it's not a problem, just hang on to it.

Of course you know what will happen as soon as you get rid of everything. $$$$

[Tamara Croft]

I think you've had so much going on in your life lately, you've been so unsettled, it's probably been the last thing on your mind. So... I would say no... she'll be back :D

[sherri52]

Keep it all for awhile. I'm sure Sheila won't mind, and if you get the urge it won't cost you a fortune to replace your purge.

[Charleen]

Short answer-NO. We are who we are.

[lacie]

Four months is a pretty good stretch to go without dressing. I personally think I would explode if I didn’t dress for that long. But each individual is different and dealt a different genetic hand. For me the frequency and desire to dress fluctuates rather mildly most of the time. However I’ve had strong peaks and valleys thru the years. I’ve gone a few weeks with absolutely no desire or urge to dress whatsoever. So I can see how an extended period of time without dressing could happen for someone. I’d say you’re in a valley right now and it just happens to be rather large. The mountains are in the distant and eventually you’ll run into them and ascend up to the top. With that said I’d just pack up your investment and unpack it later when the mood strikes. And if I were a betting man/woman I’d bet that your time will inevitably come again.

[Deborah Jane]

Four months is a pretty good stretch to go without dressing.

Before it came back last time, it was gone for 28 years [It dissapeared when I was 17 and didn't return again until I was 45] so you can understand how I feel it could just dissapear again. It did before, will it again?

[JulieK1980]

I'd say keep the stuff, just in case. I don't believe it ever truly goes away....

I find for me if I'm stressed or have a lot of different things going on in my life the desire does drop off, but the longer I go without the harder it hits me when it does return..

[Angiemead12]

It cycles back, I think I took a 3 month break! But Ill never think of throwing my stuff away, I work hard to buy them!

I stopped when I told my friends and family about it, and after that I felt so relieved that I dint feel the need to dress! But its slowly coming back!

[DonniDarkness]

Debs,

8,295 posts worth of Debs input says she will be back. Besides from 17-45 means shes only 28 years old...:D
Dont toss it, Keep it

[ellenwannabe]

I would definitely keep everything as Deb will be back - Ellen

[Samantha B L]

Debs,I agree with everybody else. I accept that for the time being your urge to dress is at low ebb. But it will come back sooner or later. Don't get rid of all those clothes,accessories,wigs,etc.! If for the time being you don't want to wear them,then let Sheila pick through the stuff. Debs, I think you're a heterosexual male to female crossdresser. I don't think you need hormones or transitioning. I don't think your gay or Transexual. I'm sorry. I shouldn't tell you your business. I've read at least one book and several clinical articles in college libraries which all say that crossdressing is somehow hormonal and neurological in nature and that it probably runs in families. Of all the things you could have been born with I think CD'ing is a blessing. But,Debs,if you just don't feel like dressing for now,that's cool. Please don't throw out your wardrobe. Lotsa expensive stuff. I hope we'll continue to see you in the posts and threads. When you and Sheila are away for a few days things are awfully quiet around here. Samantha

[eileendover]

There may also be some additional comfort in just knowing your stuff is there if you ever need it - even if you never dress up again.

If you do get rid of it, you may feel a bit of anxiety about it being gone, or worrying about any desire to buy stuff again.

[inessa]

Definitely keep your clothes because the "urge" will return. I've has short breaks but others I know have gone longer and it ALWAYS returns. Its a part of who you are.

[jenny01]

I think she is coming back and that you should get rid of everything. Just sent it to me and I will keep it in my closet. lol

She's gone, keep it and start using it.

[Staci G]

It is much more than an off chance. OH yeah Debs is coming back an she will do so with a vengance.

[Nicole Erin]

she will be back.

It comes and goes in strange cycles.

[gabimartini]

Believe me, it will come back. I went a whole semester without even getting near my stuff. I wasn't under any illusions that I was "cured". I knew it would come back sooner or later, and sure enough. After New Year's it came back with a vengeance. I went into a pink fog that lasted a week.

So, do yourself a favor and just keep your stuff.

[AKAMichelle]

I remember the olden days when I went long periods of time without crossdressing. Several times it was for 2-3 years with no desire. Eventually it did come back and I wish I had some of those clothes.

I would hang onto the clothes or at least most of the items even if it is years. After awhile if you restart you will need to shop again for some new clothes to make the trends. That would be fun, but at least keep enough to get you started again should you need to.

[Sandra]

I think you know like all here that she come out again, she is a part of you and with all the upset that has happened in the past few months it is not surprising that she's not made an appearance.

One questions to you hun...do you want her back?

[BRANDYJ]

Some really good answers.
I can kind of understand this confusion. The mere fact that you are still here on this site is an indicator that "she" has never left. I would agree that it is because of things going on in your life. Could be a relationship with a loved one, a job situation. depression, you name it. It's just something that has caused you to not want to dress and be feminine at this time.
For me, I have not fully dressed in months, close to a year. I know why...(I think) I went through a breakup with my SO. She moved 1,200 miles away. Fortunately, we are now a couple again and our bond is stronger then ever. No, it had nothing at all to do with cross dressing. She knew from day one and not only accepts it, but actually enjoys that side of me. But what I realize is that when I am in a relationship, living with the one I love, my desire to dress is much stronger. When I am living alone and can dress anytime I want to, the need, drive, compulsion, or whatever it is that drives us, kind of has less appeal. The few times in my life when I was living alone repeats itself whenever I am not in a live in relationship, be it with a wife or SO. I do put on something feminine almost daily, but I have not taken the time to dress complete with wig, make up and other things to complete the transformation.
So I'd just accept that you are not into it for now. But to throw away all your fem things most likely with just be an expensive regret at a later time.

[Amy Lynn3]

Keep it, as you will need/want it again soon.

[JulieC]

It will come back, and I think it will come back in spades when you lease expect it.

As others noted, there's no harm in keeping it. Getting rid of it all would be very, very expensive when Debs comes back.

You are who you are.

[kimdl93]

consensus - keep the stuff - the desire, need and motivation will return soon enough

[charlie]

Hello Deborah!
I started dressing when I was 10 years old. It lasted until I was 15 and had my first girlfriend. Then in college it started again and I dressed for four years. I had a 12 year stop until I was 35 and I dressed for 2 years. Then I stopped until I was 58 and have been dressing for two years now. My take is for you to keep your stuff and you will probably be using it again in the future.

[Tomara]

Hi Deb
I have to agree with everyone else.
I'm sure she will be back sooner or later so you would probably be wise to keep all your girl things for when she does.
Good luck and don't be a stranger here !
Tomara

[Deborah_UK]

I'm confused, last thing I recall was that you were saying you were TS, I see your wife Sheila alludes to Charing Cross - what happened there to produce the about face?

[Deborah Jane]

I'm confused, last thing I recall was that you were saying you were TS, I see your wife Sheila alludes to Charing Cross - what happened there to produce the about face?

Hi Deborah, a lot has happened in my life since then, and yes, there was a referral to Charing Cross.
Since the last time I dressed on New Years Eve, I have done a lot of soul searching. During that soul searching the desire to dress and be Debs has pretty much dissappeared, the clothes and all the trimmings are still there, but right now it means nothing to me. I still regard myself as TG, although I am now unsure where I am with it.
I guess only time will tell as to whether there will be another re'emergance of Debs. She may never return, but by the same token, if she comes back next week, neither Sheila or myself have a problem with it.

Thank you everybody else who answered me, for all the help, support and advice :)

[Deborah_UK]

Thanks for that explanation Deborah Jane - I wish you both well however the route takes you.

[trisha59]

Its been slightly longer for me (Age thing? )but I am keeping the clothes. The only risk as I see it is if the desire returns will they still be in style.

[sterling12]

Gone, (temporarily,) but obviously not forgotten! Think about it, if she were really gone, you wouldn't need to tell us about it, and you wouldn't be writing queries concerning your situation.

Bag it! Store it! Leave it with a Friend! But, keep your stuff....you going to need it!

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Jaclyn NM]

Well, I have found that if she was once there, she'll always be there. I can't tell you how many time I've purged, only to have to go back out at some later date (in one case twelve years), to buy new female clothes. I've finally accepted that no matter what I do she'll always be there calling me back and eventually I'll give in. So my advice is save yourself some money, and hold on to your female clothing.

[Shelly Preston]

In a word NO

I have no doubt Debs will be back not sure when but she will return

[Rachaelb64]

Keep the clothes. Debs will be back, you know deep down she is lurking.
Whereever you go from here, you've got the love & support of a good woman next you :)

[joanna marie]

Keep the clothes, I think that we have all purged a few times
I just went 18 months without dressing and was glad that I saved most of my stuff because Joanna Marie just had to come back out , just as I knew she would.

After all that time I was really glad to be dressed again, it felt so good and natural.

I did get to buy a new dress to replace one I got rid of

[stephanie100]

I went 7 years without steph. Debs will be back Its who we are.

[KayleeDahl]

I think we have reached a general consensus that she'll be back. I sure wish I still had all the stuff I've donated over the years when i decided i'd never need it again.

Hugs
Kaylee

[~Michelle~]

Before it came back last time, it was gone for 28 years

Quite fascinating... why do you think it was gone for such a long time? It could help to answer your question.

[Freddy12]

I agree with everyone else that she will be back. Maybe next month, maybe next year. I agree that you should keep the clothes. I, too have purged stuff only to buy the same stuff again - what a waste of money.

Perhaps if you store the stuff in a place that is not readily accessable, things might be more clear. It's a bit like purging, but not completely. Perhaps a friend coul store the stuff for you. Just a thought.

[Nigella]

I have got to know you over the last year or so and I hope that I have been a font of wisdom for you. As many have said, Debs is an integral part of who you are, the only thing that matters is how much a part of you.

That is something that happens by varying degrees on a day by day basis. As you have said, things have been busy and dare I say chaotic for you recently and Debs may have been that release away from those pressures.

Since your settlement where you are now, you have shown a more comfortable side, in respect of pressure, this has negated your need for Debs to be constantly uppermost.

The decision to purge is one only you can decide. There are those around you who will help if you want it. May I suggest a different approach, try a mini purge. Go through what Debs has, look to see if it is relevant to where you are in repect of Debs or Deborah, you know what I mean by that. Keep those that are relevant to who and where you are, sell, give away or even burn those you don't want, whatever makes you feel right, parcel up the rest and store them.

[Carly D.]

I'm in the same boat, different oar... I keep everything the same way, stored in the same tote box with the knowledge that the want to cross dress will likely return sometime.. Truth is if I threw everything away the desire would hit me as soon as the trash was picked up.. I'd hate to have to chase the trash truck down and say I accidentally threw something out, can I get it out really quick IT'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND DEATH!!! I have thrown everything away and shortly thereafter regretted it.. So my advice would be store it someplace.. That's what I am doing.

[Ronni Seymour]

If you're like me, Deb will eventually come back. Don't throw the clothes away unless you want to spend more of that hard earned money to start over with a new wardrobe!

[serinalynn]

Has she gone?
The last time I "dressed" was New Years Eve, since then nothing. Everything is stored in bags and boxes, just in case she comes back, but for the last few months there has been no desire to be Debs.

The question is do I keep everything on the off chance that my dressing will return, or do I just get rid of it all and leave this part of me behind?

What do you think?......Gone for good or lurking in my subconcious waiting to come back at some time in the future?

Succume to the pressure of being partly, mostly or wholly feminine. I have thought about just going back and being me MALE self..... Fact of the matter is I don't believe I can. I love my FEMALE side so much, I just can't give it up.
I've had a 3 day weekend and I've been dressed feminine all 3 days. Had fun doing it too. I've been out in public and no one seem to care if I dress as a woman or not. My wife has been very supportive lately. I'm going to drive to Minnesota in about 3 weeks will be dressed femme while driving and taking lots of femme clothes with me.
I'll have lots of fun too being feminine while I can. It's fun being a girl!!

[Jonianne]

Has she gone?......

Gone? Where? Who is that posting as Deborah Jane? Must be Sheila pretending to be Debs!

Debs, except to take recent pics, I havn't dressed or gone out in a year and a half. No big deal. I still enjoy being on the forum and communicating with kindred spirits. You still sound like Debs to me. Don't go away. Keep your cloths and shoes in the closet. They are still yours. You don't go to the prom every day. Just got to keep them handy in case you do decide to go.

When off the forum, Debs is just crossdressing as some guy Sheila married!

[serinalynn]

Before it came back last time, it was gone for 28 years [It dissapeared when I was 17 and didn't return again until I was 45] so you can understand how I feel it could just dissapear again. It did before, will it again?

No it won't, just succumb to your female self and enjoy it, I do and I like my female self. I can do it as much or as little as I want to. I just cannot turn it off.

[Ruth]

In many ways life would be simpler without CDing. So I have to admit that if the desire just disappeared tomorrow and never returned, I wouldn't be upset.
But I don't believe for a minute that would happen, and every time I have 'rested' from CDing it has always been in the expectation that the urge would return - and it has. I think it's a life sentence.

[Rianna Humble]

Its been slightly longer for me (Age thing? )but I am keeping the clothes. The only risk as I see it is if the desire returns will they still be in style.

Retro is always in style :)

But to get back to the original question:


The question is do I keep everything on the off chance that my dressing will return, or do I just get rid of it all and leave this part of me behind?

What do you think?

I think you should keep it, because otherwise (to quote the film Casablanca out of context) "you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life."

OTOH, it would be a good excuse to shop :)

[Kaz]

Debs,

Do you want to stop? You may. You have just been through some major upheaval and have probably gone into "do it" mode, and this will have been a natural response that will have pulled at your core self... which sad to say is male! And you have probably really been enjoying it! :) And now you are sorted, "he" is feeling good?

There is nothing my male side likes more than problem solving and getting stuff sorted. I have been attacking my overgrown garden the last two days and although I am still Kaz, I have felt no desire to dress. I go away for a few days tomorrow and this is an opportunity for Kaz... I aren't really in that space... maybe I will be tomorrow, though I have been through this before!

She will come back. You know this. And when she does she will want compensation for the lost time.

Me, I am happy to live with Kaz... for now. But maybe not forever?

In the meatime, as has been said before... don't matter what you're wearing, you is Debs!!!

:hugs:

[serinalynn]

Your right Kaz, the SHE side of me always returns, but in some respects my she side never seems to go away. My she side is always there and waiting to return. I enjoy my she time a lot.

[suit]

just put stuff away clean so it does not rot while it is stored! moth balls too keep out the squirles !
ooh and just to see, in your mind pretend that in 3 weeks your whole collection wont be able to be touched for 5 years ! see if in three weeks and three days your not dressed to the nines!

[docrobbysherry]

They say that's how long the "honeymoon" phase lasts for some newlyweds. :)

After 3 years, if u still have NO desire to be Debs, send ME your sexiest outfits!:devil:
(Statistically, they say they may NOT fit u anymore by then anyway.):eek:
I'll pay for the shipping. Keep them safe and wear some of them! ( At most, one time per year!):heehee:

If u EVER want them back, pay the shipping, and u can have them ALL BACK!:D
Same goes for heels, wigs, etc!

PS: I MISS Debs!:sad: But, I'm GLAD u 2 r so happy!

[Deborah Jane]

Mods, you may as well close this thread!

Blondie's back :battingeyelashes: