Long Term friendships and Reactions.

[DaphneGrey]

Since I have become much more open about who I am I have noticed a few things about how people react to being TG.

I have one GG friend who knows accepts and supports me as Daphnie but has never met "Her" She tells me how great it is and how brave I am. Offers advice, enjoys having me as a friend and recognizes my femm qualities. We have yet to spend time together as daphnie only because of time and family constraints.

I have another GG friend who only knows me as Daphnie and has said she would rather not meet me as Joe. I think she will eventually but for now she is happy with who I am and enjoying our time together as girl friends.

I have another group of friends both men and women who only know daphnie but they are more occasional friends in that we see each other at different events and such in NYC at shows or clubs or Art events.

These are all great and I consider myself quite blessed and my femm life is becoming quite complete. I do however on occasion feel like a pet though. Sometimes when I am envited to an event or party I cant help feeling like people are taking pitty on me. Or at times feel like window dressing. "Hey come and meet my TG friend Daphnie" Kind of like I am being showboated for the benefit of the host.

I wonder if anyone has similar thoughts or experiences?

[AKAMichelle]

That is one of the joys of being out. People get to know you for you really are. Not the facade covering you to protect your identity. :D

People will accept you if you accept yourself. That's when you finally let someone in completely to form those lasting friendships.

[Katesback]

Your post illustrates a few points I have said a number of times before.

1. Telling someone you are TG is not the same and presenting the female to them. People become imprinted so to say about who you are. Your friend who knows the girl does not want to be exposed to the boy. The same could hold true to your friend that knows ABOUT the girl but has yet to meet her.

2. The pet thing............I realize that being TG can be really exciting! The problem we often overlook is that most people cannot possibly comprehend us. It would be like someone telling me how exciting it is for them to play chineese Checkers. I have no idea how the game is played and to tell ya the truth I really dont care to know! My perspective about a trans person that is out and talking about being trans is they either an activist and an expert on the subject (that means they can articulate the trans concepts to non trans people in a clear, concise, factual, positive, and non-opinionated manner) or, they are doing themselves no favors because as you put it they are the PET.

[DaphneGrey]

Your post illustrates a few points I have said a number of times before.

1. Telling someone you are TG is not the same and presenting the female to them. People become imprinted so to say about who you are. Your friend who knows the girl does not want to be exposed to the boy. The same could hold true to your friend that knows ABOUT the girl but has yet to meet her.

2. The pet thing............I realize that being TG can be really exciting! The problem we often overlook is that most people cannot possibly comprehend us. It would be like someone telling me how exciting it is for them to play chineese Checkers. I have no idea how the game is played and to tell ya the truth I really dont care to know! My perspective about a trans person that is out and talking about being trans is they either are an expert on the subject or they are doing themselves no favors because as you put it they are the PET.

Sage thoughts, I get what you are saying. For me at least I am past the I need to explain myself. Unless asked then I feel compelled to answer questions about myself. Other than that I am just Daphnie to anyone I meet. Like you I don't use the P word, and am quite comfortable with myself. Having said that, there was a time when such things mattered to me.

[ReineD]

I do however on occasion feel like a pet though. Sometimes when I am envited to an event or party I cant help feeling like people are taking pitty on me. Or at times feel like window dressing. "Hey come and meet my TG friend Daphnie" Kind of like I am being showboated for the benefit of the host.

Daphne, there are all kinds of shallower (but still very valid) reasons why people who first meet each other want to see each other again ... from thinking that what you might do for a living is "cool", or based on the fancy sports car you own, or maybe their child plays with your child, or maybe they are grateful because you helped them out. It could be anything, but there is always something that is the initial attractant, else people wouldn't bother making plans to see each other again. So in your case it might well be because you are different than the others they know and they think the CDing is cool or they are intrigued somehow.

But eventually as we get to know the people behind the job, the car, the kid, the makeup or whatever, we determine whether we like them or not based on how well the personalities or the values mesh, and all the shallower reasons for the initial attraction disappear. They are instead replaced by a growing genuine affection when the friendship develops.

Just think back to the friends you've made in your own life. In each case, there were other reasons than knowing they had good hearts that made you want to develop the friendship.

My point is it doesn't really matter what people's motives are for wanting you to come along. Eventually it won't matter as they get to know and like you for who you are.

[t-girlxsophie]

I dont have too many ppl in my life I can call Friends,certainly not non TG ones.Though I have since made what I would Consider as friends in my work colleagues.

I Do think that our accepting Friends can be split into two groups.The ones that like to hear of your exploits,but are unsure of Meeting your alter ego,they like to look at your pics etc but fall short of actually wanting to see "her".Whatever the reason,I dont mind that

And on the other hand there is the Friends who want to know everything about your feminine life,I have one friend I work with in particular who when we are working together,talk non-stop girls talk,which is so much fun,despite me being in Drab.I never rally thought how far reaching the effects would be when my coming out to some of my workmates.But I am glad I did

We are trying to organise a Girls night out soon,so Sophie can make her debut,and we can Paint the town Red,or is it pink:daydreaming: