Omg please help

[KatieEvans]

I've been purging for about 7 weeks now and the urge has really really badly returned.. why?

[suchacutie]

You are who you are, as are all of us. I do think that all of us can act on our desires and needs, but to refuse a part of ourselves takes immense and continual effort.

I'm sure you will see many posts saying that this is part of you forever. I agree. How you act upon it is for you to decide. We all know exactly how you feel!

tina

[Kathi Lake]

Katie,

What kind of help are you looking for here? Help to stop? Help to keep on going?

Were you trying to stop for yourself, or for someone else? Why, exactly, did you think it was something that you could or should stop?

Finally, you are who you are. Accept that. However flawed or normal you think this makes you, accept and love yourself - your whole self. Once that happens, everything else is clear.

Kathi

[Karren H]

Seven weeks?? Damn you had a lot of stuff !! Or wasn't trying too hard?? Lol.

Why is it coming back or why did you purge?? Or both? Hmmmm.

You purged because you felt guilty!

And its coming back because it comes back!

There. Now don't ever purge again!! Or if you do.. Send all your clothes to me.. What size are you btw?? :)

[Deborah Jane]

Or if you do.. Send all your clothes to me.. What size are you btw?? :)

Keep trying Karren, someone will send em one day :heehee:

To the OP, it seems that once you start purging, the urge to dress returns with a vengeance.
Stop purging, "she" is part of you and there is no escape. She may come and go sometimes, but she's always there inside you. Once you learn to accept "her", it all becomes easier [and less expensive, as you no longer have to replace what you purged]

[Loni]

it is very hard to denie who and what we are.

and it does not matter what one is, fighter pilot, lineman, cross dresser, salesman, etc we are what we are. and must do it to be alive. to not do so..just hurts way too much.

.

[Freddy12]

I think almost all of us go through this at one point or another. It's perfectly normal. The next time you want to purge, put a post up on this site. I think there are a number of folks who will urge you to wait. The urge to dress en-femme will return.

[Karren H]

Keep trying Karren, someone will send em one day :heehee:



Yeah!! Unselfishly helping out someone in need is the least I can do!! :D

[Charleen]

Y? To quote an old sage- "I yam what I yam!"
I gotta ask again- are you looking to stop or looking for a reason Y you still have the urge, see above, or what?

[charlie]

Hello Katie!
And you thought you had it beat. The urge was gone and you were just a regular normal guy again. I have been doing this all my life. I used to feel guilty, ashamed and always secretive about my dressing. Now many people know. And I, know that it is just part of me. Something that I probably will always have and be...a transvestite. Ouch! Really Katie, I have had two long stoppages in my life (one 12 years the other 8 years) when I thought I was not going to be dressing again, but both times it came back. I'll never purge again. Its just part of me.

[minalost]

Katie,

What kind of help are you looking for here? Help to stop? Help to keep on going?

Were you trying to stop for yourself, or for someone else? Why, exactly, did you think it was something that you could or should stop?

Finally, you are who you are. Accept that. However flawed or normal you think this makes you, accept and love yourself - your whole self. Once that happens, everything else is clear.

Kathi

Yes, is that help to stop or help to keep going? For the rest, Kathi is right - as always :)!


I think almost all of us go through this at one point or another. It's perfectly normal. The next time you want to purge, put a post up on this site. I think there are a number of folks who will urge you to wait. The urge to dress en-femme will return.

Iv'e been through this and so have most of us. It's a hard, and expensive $ :eek: $, lesson to learn. Never purge!
:hugs:

[CatAttack]

I learned from the last time I purged to never purge again, lol. As someone said already, once you purge the urge comes back with a vengeance.

[SusieK]

If reading the posts on this forum has taught me anything, it is that everyone is different. Any advice is only relevant if it resonates, and you recognise yourself in the words of the poster.

I'm interpreting your post as meaning you want to stop crossdressing...

I'm assuming that for whatever reason you are unhappy with either the very fact of your CDing, or possibly the level and intensity of the urge. I'm afraid that if you are questioning whether you really are a crossdresser, then you are, and furthermore once a crossdresser, always a crossdresser. In the unlikely scenario that I never dressed again, I would still BE a crossdresser. The sooner you acknowledge these truths the better.

The problem then becomes, what to do about it. On a simple level, (ignoring where you are on the TG scale), trying to suppress feelings that are a fundamental part of who you are, particularly if you associate the feelings with guilt, leads to those feelings gnawing away at you and intensifying. Hence a guilty purge and denial is leading to your current state of mind. Accept that there is nothing wrong with CDing. It is not immoral, and for us crossdressers it is vital to our mental and emotional well-being. So discard the guilt and enjoy your CDing:).
Now you don't have to abandon yourself to your urges. We're human and we have pretty good mechanisms for modifying and inhibiting behaviour according to requirements. You just can't shut them off completely. I don't know the details of your situation, but you need to find a level that you (and if necessary an SO and others around you) can deal with. If you've promised an SO that you'll stop, then you need to talk because it just ain't gonna happen:sad:. Otherwise, accept this part of yourself, feed it without necessarily becoming a glutton, and with any luck it will level out the urges. A bit more than my :2c: worth, but I hope it resonates.

Be happy with who you are :hugs:.

Susie

[pernille d]

i have purged 2 major times and i know it does not help.

yes!! we are all different and have different views but i think anyone that has purged says the same thing , so we stand together there , when i say " the urge retuns"

i know now that it comes back an that there is nothing you can do , as we are what we are , so much so i was outed on monday after 30 years and 20 of those with my wife . when the topic of me quiting was mentioned , i said " i can not " as i know it will always come back thats how it is and there is no point trying to kid both her and me that i can quit . the only good side to pureing is you get to clean up your wardrobe only to restock later with newer clothing

[sherri52]

It's alway hard to purge, the urge to dress is much stronger

[AKAMichelle]

Purging will never get rid of the urges. Sometimes you will find that after purging you end up with a stronger desire to dress. The sooner you begin to understand and accept this, the less money you will spend buying clothes over and over again.

[Fab Karen]

A leopard doesn't change its spots.

Listen to the witch:
SURRENDER DOROTHY

[JenniferR771]

Want to quit? Feeling guilty?
Remember Guilt is a feeling projected upon you by others. It reflects the disapproval of the government, your religion, or your mother (the worst kind of guilt). However--I feel you have nothing whatever to be ashamed about. You are a cd--so am I! I am OK and so are you. Accept yourself--and do it today.

[Angiemead12]

Im guessing because it just feels natural to wear female things. And now your body is craving it back.

[Karren H]

Y? To quote an old sage- "I yam what I yam!"


I would have taken you more for an Olive Oyl than a Popeye!

[Kaz]

Over here... it's you is what you is (apparently)!

Us oldies will tell you that purges don't work. I have accepted that this isn't going away and the people on this forum are briliant in coming to terms with this and how you deal with it!

I hope you find your path... but we are here...

Love Kaz xx

[Elle1946]

Because you are who you are. I have purged several times, all I found out was that it cost me a lot of money to replace items that I really wanted. I like women's cloths, that is who I am, and happy with it.

[Being Paige]

I too have purged twice :sad:, the first time before I was married and the second shortly after I was married. Never again :)

[~Michelle~]

Nah, sometimes purging is good if you can afford it, see it as an Extreme Makeover! :D

[Amanda Styles]

I have purged on several occasions, but you see where I am today.

"...no matter where you go, there you are."

[gabimartini]

You didn't really think it would go away forever, did you?

Got news for ya: it will never go away, so no matter how bad the purge, NEVER throw away your stuff! Add that to your lessons learned basket... ;)

[danielle.cd]

untill you accept this that u dress and that its part of u, no amount of help will doo you have to come to terms with this is what you do and who u are, you dont have to let anyone know but at least for yourslelf you need to realize its not sumthin you can just get rid of it will come back and you will spend money you dont have to get stuff back so save your money and your stuff and get a storage bin for those times and put it up and away till your cravings comeback and wala you saved your self alot of hassle, by the way theres nothing wrong with buying more stuff just dont go broke trying to get stuff back,

[Staci G]

I am sure almost all of us have purged and still to this day wish we had that perfect fitting pair of pumps (my thoughts) back. I have purged and purged again. If I do it again it wil be my last I will quit crossdressing altoghther. :rofl: Yeah right! Staci is always coming back for more, the B!t@h

[Kaitlyn Michele]

love and respect yourself...it will never ever ever "go away"

otherwise purging and the associated costs ($$$ and emotional) will continue to cause you grief...

i know you already knew that!! easier said than done though:hugs:

[KatieEvans]

I just seem to feel guilty when i've done it, and im so scared of people finding out about me, I love to wear high heels and i love to wear skirts, deep down i know i want to do it, it's just something on the surface that keeps stopping me..

[Deborah Jane]

I just seem to feel guilty when i've done it, and im so scared of people finding out about me, I love to wear high heels and i love to wear skirts, deep down i know i want to do it, it's just something on the surface that keeps stopping me..

Hi Katie, a lot of us have been through the phase you are going through at the moment. I used to feel so guilty after I'd dressed, that I threw everything away. Eventually I realised that the only person I was punishing was myself and had to just accept that the desire to dress wouldn't go away.
Over time and with the support of everyone here, you will learn to accept this as part of who you are.

You've tapped into a great support network here, we're all here to help each other through the tough times, as well as have fun through the good times. :)