Want to be able to help

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I am a lawyer by trade - have been for 40 years - created a large private practice over the years. Because of my transition, my law-partner tells me that he is not going to practice law with someone like me - he says that people will no longer come to me for representation.

My gender therapists have asked me all kinds of legal questions regarding legal issues pertaining to the trans community. Up until now, I never really looked in to the law that pertains to our trans community.

Well, I have started to collect as much legal information as I can find, not only to answer many of my own personal issues, but also to help provide legal information to the trans community.

Once I get a little further along in my transition and see what I am going to be doing job/career wise, I would like to be able to provide legal counseling to the trans community - especially here in Kentucky, but a lot of this applies nationwide.

Is this type of service something that is needed in our community - or is this just a pipe dream ?

Maybe I could call it "ASK A TRANSSEXUAL LAWYER"

JoAnne Wheeler Bland

[Elizabeth 66]

Sounds to me like you have your first case, discrimination towards you self by your law partner! i cant see why you wouldn't be needed though i bet there are loads of cases that should be brought to justice concerning the trans society

[DizzyRose]

I am a lawyer by trade - have been for 40 years - created a large private practice over the years. Because of my transition, my law-partner tells me that he is not going to practice law with someone like me - he says that people will no longer come to me for representation.

My gender therapists have asked me all kinds of legal questions regarding legal issues pertaining to the trans community. Up until now, I never really looked in to the law that pertains to our trans community.

Well, I have started to collect as much legal information as I can find, not only to answer many of my own personal issues, but also to help provide legal information to the trans community.

Once I get a little further along in my transition and see what I am going to be doing job/career wise, I would like to be able to provide legal counseling to the trans community - especially here in Kentucky, but a lot of this applies nationwide.

Is this type of service something that is needed in our community - or is this just a pipe dream ?

Maybe I could call it "ASK A TRANSSEXUAL LAWYER"

JoAnne Wheeler Bland

Wow, your business partner sounds awful! If he wants to sever your business partnership, I'd say good riddance, but make sure he's the one stuck holding any of the burden for doing so. I mean it IS he who wants out, right? I don't understand why he thinks people would no longer come to you for representation. Even if you intended to stay in practice with him, how would anyone (aside from current clients) even know?

Aside from that, I think it's a really good idea. I believe you'd definitely get some clients.

[AllieSF]

I do not know about the overall need (volume and number of clients) for an attorney with specific transsexual legal issues expertise. However, two weeks ago I meet a lesbian attorney that provided support to the whole LGBT community through some organization in New York City. They are probably associated with worldwide human rights activities. She told me that there were several around the nation and internationally. It appeared that her organization was a non-profit type. I recommend that you do a Google search, or just have one of your legal assistants do a web search (general and through all the legal reference sources). You may be surprised what you discover and may find an interesting home for yourself and your talents, including personal experiences. Good luck.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I really think that I would like to be the first Transgendered Lawyer who is actively practicing in Kentucky - and even in my small conservative community that is about 40 miles south of Louisville.

My law-partner keeps telling me that no one will get a transgendered lawyer to represent them in our community. At 65, I feel that I am too old to go out and start all over.

My law-partner is ashamed of me and is only concerned with how this affects his reputation and standing in the community.

I AM NOT ASHAMED of the woman that I am and I am not ashamed of confronting those narrow minded people who populate our little community. I still need to earn a living - this transitioning is getting expensive.

JoAnne Wheeler Bland

[Sheila]

Joanne, I would not give a hoot if my legal representative was TG, or a Martian, with Yellow Diamonds and Red stripes, so long as they were good at what they did, and would represent me to the best of their ability. Maybe you need a new partner and add on TG rights lawyer as another service you do ............ good luck :)

[Karen564]

I think that would be great for you to put all your years of experience to use...we need it..

Ever hear of GLAD.?
http://www.glad.org/ (http://www.glad.org/)

It's what we have in New England for us that need to seek legal advise on many matters...

I don't know how far their arm reaches out to others in the Country, but they may be looking to expand, or you could start your own organization or services to cover your own region of the country.

Whatever you do, I wish you great success...:hugs:

[janelle]

Wish you were here in Wisconsin & I could afford to pay you. Oh well maybe someday you will get others to fight for our rights. Good luck dear.

Hugs................................Janelle

[Misty is Kindafem]

I still need to earn a living - this transitioning is getting expensive.

JoAnne,

I think there is plenty of people that would hire a TG lawyer. Maybe not in your immediate area but you could certainly have your office there and serve clients all over the country.

The internet will allow you plenty of billable hours while you chat or even video conference with your clients. I think it's a wonderful idea.

I wish my career was so easily redirected. How I would make a living after going full time is my toughest question.

-Misty

[luvSophia]

I can see several questions that come up from this. The first is that if your partnership is dissolved would you be able to take your clients with you? And if yes, then how many of your current clients will follow you to your own practice? It is a pretty safe bet that even if it were possible to take your client list not all of them would be willing to go along. Would there be any sort of non-compete agreement?

The second is are you looking to specialize in trans* law? How large do you think your client base would be? I suspect that if this is how you want to specialize you would be better off broadening your appeal to the wider LGBT community as a whole with an emphasis on trans law. Just be aware that there are a significant number of LGBT people that do not particularly like us either, especially among the older gay males and second generation feminist lesbians.

How much legal counseling could you do across state lines? I do not know much about licensing (or whatever it is called for lawyers) but I am pretty sure that at a minimum you would not be able to argue a case in court unless you had passed the bar exam for that particular state.

And like Karen said, have you given any thought to contacting one of the larger LBGT rights organizations such as GLAAD or HRC?

[Gerrijerry]

yes the need is very real and large. there is also a need for counselors that understand and can help the girls not read back from a book 50 years old.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

if you are looking at "trans law" , your issue is going to be the limited clientele and perhaps more importantly the limited resources of your clientele...

also, in many cases there are local and state laws in play...

the best area is probably employment law where there may be some paydays' but thats a long slog to get to a point where there is a case...helping folks change their names is a good idea but again, state by state its different...and many people do that without a lawyer.

what folks often don't think about is this....if you have the $$, almost ANYBODY will take your business...if you don't then the folks helping you will not be able to make a living off your business without some support...

if you are looking to make a business out of it, i am sorry to disagree with other posters...i don't believe there is a model there...

if you're a good lawyer and you are trans, you should still be getting clients, but i can imagine there are closeminded folks that will drop you...replacing them with trans clients is a worthwhile idea

[Traci Elizabeth]

Actually I think that is a wonderful idea and even though you are a practicing attorney in Kentucky, I am sure there are a lot of legal matters and legal advice/counseling you can offer nationwide to our community.

I for one am going to keep you in mind for the future. Perhaps you ought to take some time to formulate all the possible services you could provide and a fixed-fee schedule for those services.

I am sure that you realize that most TS have limited funds and I think you would want to adjust your fees accordingly if you are sincere in wanting to "help" your sisters.

But bottom line, that is a great idea that I think can become very successful as you get your services known to the community.

[Misty is Kindafem]

I am sure that you realize that most TS have limited funds

Why in the world would you say that?
Can you cite a study?

I can't imagine this is true, but I'm interested in your reasoning.

-Misty

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Misty, you are kidding right?

"The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services estimates that the number of homeless and runaway youth ranges from 575,000 to 1.6 million per year. ..." 3

"Our analysis of the available research suggests that between 20 percent and 40 percent of all homeless youth identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender (LGBT). 4

Given that between 3 percent and 5 percent of the U.S. population identifies as lesbian, gay or bisexual, it is clear that LGBT youth experience homelessness at a disproportionate rate. ..."

"Transgender youth are disproportionately represented in the homeless population. More generally, some reports indicate that one in five transgender individuals need or are at risk of needing homeless shelter assistance. However, most shelters are segregated by birth sex, regardless of the individual's gender identity, and homeless transgender youth are even ostracized by some agencies that serve their LGB peers." 5

"In a study completed by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), 90 percent of transgender youth in schools reported feeling unsafe, compared with 46 percent of gay or bisexual males and 41 percent of lesbian and bisexual female students. 6

"Additionally, transgender youth are even more marginalized than their gay, lesbian, and bisexual (GLB) peers, often feeling unwelcome at agencies that serve GLB youth. 7

In California...
"Transgender respondents are twice as likely to be living below the poverty line of $10,400 when compared to the
general population.
1 in 5 respondents have been homeless since they first identified as transgender.

From the National Center for Transgender Equality
"There are social costs to transitioning. Because discrimination is widespread, transsexuals
face a great deal of prejudice. This may mean losing a job or career, including their source of income, or not being able to find a job at all. Under- and unemployment
in the transgender community is many times the national average. People may have to go from well-paying stable jobs to minimum wage work, seasonal employment or unemployment. This impacts their ability to support themselves and their families."

In my small personal sample..
I know I lost my job, my 2 best friends lost their jobs, her best friend was a civil engineer and now is a grocery store clerk.

About half my therapy group is unemployed

Plus transitioning is incredibly expensive and not usually covered by insurance (altho this is getting better)..

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I probably gave the wrong impression that ALL I wanted to do was practice trans law. That is certainly not the case - I doubt that I could make a living just doing that. I just want to add that to the types of cases and clientele that I represent.

Also, a Kentucky lawyer can only practice in Kentucky. You have to be licensed in the state where you practice. I do not intend to "ACTIVELY" practice in states other than Kentucky - it just means that I would not be going to Court for someone in another state.

My practice has always been about trying to help those who are hurting and have no one else who will represent them - I see this as an extension of that type of practice.

I have talked with other lawyers in the city (town) where I live and they have told me that they think that people would come to me because of my past reputation, experience, knowledge and especially success at winning cases.

My law-partner thinks that people will only think that I am some sick, pervert, homosexual that is to be kept away from. He says that our community is far too conservative and fundamentalist to accept "someone like you". Maybe he's right. I don't know. I just know that at 65, it is very hard to generate enough enthusiam and energy to move to a whole new location and try to start over - if I was 45 or even 55, it might be different.

Does any of this make any sense to anyone - or should I just crawl down in a hole and try to live in stealth.

JoAnne Wheeler Bland

[Traci Elizabeth]

Kaitlyn Michele,

I could not have stated it any better than that.

There is also a lot of related statistics and relevant information from the British Columbia & city of Vancouver Transcend Transgender Support & Education Society and Vancouver Coastal Health’s Transgender Health Program available on the web.

[Traci Elizabeth]

JoAnne,

Even though you can't "practice" law in other states because you are not licensed to do so, does that prevent you from giving legal advice or assisting in preparing legal documents that might be related to TS folks?

[CharleneT]

I think there are two questions, I'll deal with one. Being a lawyer and being "out" as trans is likely to be a hard. I have a friend here who is living full time and is a lawyer. She had a great practice before, doing corporate work. 90% disappeared in the first 8 months after she went full time. She then shut down the firm and has moved to Minneapolis. She has not started back up there yet.

Whether it can work for you, I think it depends a lot on the type of law you practice. Corporate, probably not going to, it is still a good old boys club and TS folks scare them. Family law ? very unlikely... Criminal - naw for sure. Estate planning, now there I imagine is one where your status probably won't matter. SocSec law etc... hard to say, but should be ok. You can see the pattern, where public reputation matters and presentation is an issue, it is probably going to be hard.

I applaud your plan and hope that it works out great !

I also agree with Kaitlyn that the trans community, as a client base, isn't likely to work out too well due to the whole money issue. BUT who knows ??

[KarenCDFL]

The only reason your partner is ashamed is because he is ignorant, and how good could an ignorant lawyer be?

You would be much better off hanging up your own shingle!

I would think that as an Attorney with your background, you would have more business than you could singly handle after the word gets out!

The best of luck!

[Schatten Lupus]

No doubt such a service isn't just needed, it is long overdue and very much needed.
Part of the reason I am wanting to go into psychology is to push the trans issue into the public light, and have the credintials to do so. Perhaps others will also aid in our struggles, and we will have the protection we need. It would be better and ideal if we had the acceptance we deserve, but for now just an organization to go to over discrimination would be suffice.

[Frances]

He says that our community is far too conservative and fundamentalist to accepy "someone like you". Maybe he's right. I don't know.

We are so far behind still in terms of civil rights or acceptance. "Someone like you" used to be uttered with impunity about jewish and black people. What is so bad about us, that people should stay clear and feel free to declare their biggotry to our faces?

[Misty is Kindafem]

Misty, you are kidding right?

Nope




In my small personal sample..
I know I lost my job, my 2 best friends lost their jobs, her best friend was a civil engineer and now is a grocery store clerk.

About half my therapy group is unemployed

Plus transitioning is incredibly expensive and not usually covered by insurance (altho this is getting better)..

Well then, clearly I was uninformed and now I know why in the world you would say that.

In my defense, I DID say I was interested in your reasoning ;-)

This information was enlightening and just cements my resolve to make post transition career plans the number one priority.

-Misty

[Andy66]

One thing I've always admired about good (talented as well as ethically good) lawyers is that they are trail-blazers. So, YAY JOANNE! :cheer:

I suggest you contact the ACLU and/or the NLGLA (National Lesbian and Gay Law Association), both of which I am a past member, and pick their brains.

[Kaitlyn Michele]

I am happy that the info was helpful to you....:hugs:..

and i did think you might be kidding...:doh:

[TxKimberly]

Awe Joanne,

I'm so sorry your partner is treating you like that. I'd guess that it must hurt pretty bad to be kicked to the curb by someone you have worked with because of who and what you are.

As for is there a need for a TG lawyer, I really don't know. I know that LAMBDA (Did I spell that right?) often helps to fight cases for the GLBT community so it wouldn't hurt for you to make a few inquiries with them. It may be that they have good advice to offer you.

In the end, for most of us muggles that don't make 5 and 6 figure salaries, it often comes down to what it's going to cost us. If you have a record and reputation for resolving problems for clients AND I can afford you, I don't care if your purple with pointed ears - I'd take you.

[Misty is Kindafem]

I am happy that the info was helpful to you....:hugs:..

and i did think you might be kidding...:doh:

Well it was. I'd never really given much thought to a universal struggle in regard to "after girl" careers.

I guess it just adds weight to what I thought was my biggest burden, and that is how I would make a living in a dress.

I know what I want, I'm just not sure what I want to give up.

-Misty

[RobynB]

We have a darn good one in Houston. Check out TRANSGENDERLEGAL.COM

Phyllis Frye is a transgender attorney who is out and has been practicing in Houston for many years.

[TxKimberly]

We have a darn good one in Houston. Check out TRANSGENDERLEGAL.COM

Phyllis Frye is a transgender attorney who is out and has been practicing in Houston for many years.

Jeeze, if it can fly in Houston Texas, I'd think you should be able to get away with it! lol

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I am already trying to help a Transman get his driver's license gender marker changed - so its a start.

JoAnne Wheeler

[Melissa A.]

Hi JoAnne

Is there a Lambda Legal office anywhere near where you are? They do good work for the LGBT community, and you may have the for need employment at some point. Yes, this does get expensive! You may be able to help eachother out... I'm awfully sorry for your predicament. You're better off without the negativity of your so-called partner. Karma's a nasty bitch and she will kick him in the butt one day soon. Best of luck and strength to you, sister.

Hugs,

Melissa:)

[Fab Karen]

Check out this site: http://www.transgenderlaw.org/

[JoAnne Wheeler]

You might look at my new thread entitled "building a support group" which I just posted. It explains in more detail my legal philosophy and what I want to do about it.

I already have a trans-brother and a trans-sister that I am helping with their legal issues.

JoAnne Wheeler Bland

[SamanthaStMichaels]

Hi JoAnne

I'm new here, I feel for your plight. But it seems to me that this is really all about you. Not your partner, not your community. Sure these are obstacles. Obstacles are meant to be over come.

But it comes down to choices and your response to it. You have made a choice to take the journey and help your brothers and sisters. Those that aren't receptive to this, you really don't need in your life anyway. The Conservative movement is very hard to deal with, but it's your response that will determine your outcome when dealing with them.

Focus on your goals. If you are looking for transgender clients. Look into support groups, therapist, and other mental health professionals. They are always looking for services and professional resources for the client they already have. But don't give up regular law either. No where is it written you must specialize.

I might also recommend writing some articles. Maybe posting the on Susans place, urnotalone, trangendernews or even here. Maybe you can find some sisters who can help you make some videos for youtube. It's about marketing yourself as well. When people do keyword searches, they will find you.

As far as being to old. I have to go to George Eliot on this. ... "It is never too late to become what you might have been."

This is true in the very fact that you are transitioning. So why not start up a new practice?

You are 100% responsible for your life. People can throw you off your path, but only if you let them. I'm sure that many of our transgender brothers and sister can help you reach your goals. If I know exactly what you are trying to accomplish I'm sure I can think of more ideas to help you on your way. As I am sure anyone else can here.

Oh and BTW, I am a most sickeningly positive person. But don't let that scare ya.

[Stephanie-L]

Personally, I would seek you out as someone who understands the problems of TG/TS persons. But, you probably won't get a lot of that type of business, and only you know how much of your old client base would stay with you, unfortunately the only way to find out would be to ask them and that is almost as good/bad as going full time. I know of several professional people (all in medicine) who have transitioned and had little or no problem, and many are not even primarily involved with TG/TS issues. So, it can be done, the catch is that all of them are younger than you, mostly much younger. It seems to me that age is more of a factor here than the actual transitioning, it is hard to start over at any age, but more so when you only have a limited time to do it. I am sorry that your partner is being such a bigotted jerk, but he is one of many you will have to deal with. Unfortunately only you can provide the answers, but I do wish you luck whichever way you choose, and thank you for being willing to help your sisters and brothers in the TG/TS world.....Stephanie

[Denise01]

As for me i could not give twoo hoots if the lawyere/ solicitor representing me was Trans, Pre Op or Post op, the main thing does the individual have the qualifications to give proprer represetation for he matter at hand.

That having been said, now that i am in Transiiton, and will have my full year of RLT up in January 2011, if i required the services of a lawyer, i would just as she he or she be transgendered.

I hope that you make out well in your case, and if the state that you re in does have redress for improper terminaion due to your transgendered status, i would sure persue it as far as i can.

Hope all goes well for you

Hugs Denise

[Cindi Johnson]

JoAnne,

Unfortunately, employment prospects dim for those who aren't mainstream. If you pass very well I suppose you could start a new practice in a different locale, but age is a detriment to that. I'm nearly 60; I don't know about lawyers, but I can assure you that aging CPA's seeking a new start are definitely swimming upstream. Add transgenderism into the mix and, well, you can probably guess...

I strongly agree with Kaitlyn Michele: many transgendered suffer greatly in this country. Being born poor and TG is not a recipe for success. Our young/poor/minority sisters are unlikely to visit this website (which IMHO is mostly home to older, educated, white and relatively wealthy TG's), yet they have a great need for legal services which they cannot afford.

An excellent recent book which illuminates this is "Transparent" by Chris Beam. The young girls she encounters in Los Angeles suffer through seemingly endless emotional and legal issues (the two tend to dance together, don't they?), particularly the heartbreaking story of Dominique.

I wish you the best, JoAnne. You may find that success, once achieved, loses it's luster. I did. I now work very hard at Target for not much more than minimum wage, but I'm one happy girl!

Cindi Johnson

[JoAnne Wheeler]

At 65, I no longer have the desire or the energy to move to a new town or city and start over. If I was 45 or even 55, it would be easier.

But now, I just don't feel that I could move someplace where no one knew me and start over. It is really a very hard thing to do for an attorney. The majority (95% plus) of my practice has always been by word of mouth. I never advertised. In fact, it makes me want to throw up to see or hear lawyer advertisements on the TV and radio and in the yellow pages.

I know those who resort to advertising and I think they are frauds - they do not care anything about their clients.

So I think that that I will stay in my community and try to practice. If they want my expertise, my experience and my ability to win, then hopefully they may still come. If they cannot stand the thought of having a Transgendered Lawyer represent them, then so be it.

JoAnne Wheeler Bland

[pamela_a]

JoAnne, IMHO I really believe that is the correct answer. It seems the only people who are telling you it won't work have been those who are unwilling to accept you for the beautiful person you are.

You are still the same attorney with the same knowledge and experience and isn't that what people really look for when they need legal council?

If they are put off by the fact you are being who you are then so be it, you have no control over what anyone thinks of you. In my book this makes you better but maybe it's difficult for people to understand. After all, who ever heard of a laywer being honest and truthful to anyone else, much less to themself? :):devil::hugs:

Stand tall, be proud of who you are and prove those Bas*&$ds wrong.

[Jason+]

Some of my most favorite music in the world was written by a Trans-sexual, "Switched On Bach." If I were to be in legal trouble, the likeliest causal event would be the fact that I like to wear skirts and dresses. It stands to reason that a lawyer who could better understand why I would want to do that in the first place would make a better advocate for me than the one that would lump me in with "people like that." So in short, sign me up JoAnne and best of luck to you!

[Karenmarie]

Civil rights for the CDer in still in the 1950's. There are a few laws
in some states that prohibits people from beating up CDers, but
I don't think there well enforced.
Having your femme gender displayed on your drivers license with you
femme picture. I understand some states allow, but not many.
Being able to use the bath room of the gender you are in....who wants
to go into a man's room dressed as a woman.

I guess the list can go on and on.

Hugs
Karenmarie

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Today, I told one of my clients my story. She told me that it did not matter what I look like - it is what that is on the inside that counts. She told me that she would continue my representation of her and that she choose me because of my tenacity, experience and results. Having "JoAnne" in the flesh as her lawyer would not change her wanting me to represent her.

That helped me a lot.


JoAnne Wheeler Bland

[pamela_a]

That's wonderful to hear JoAnne and I'm sure that will be a common theme. Your client hired you because you can get the job done, not because of how you look.

:hugs:

[Stephenie]

I think it would be a wonderful thing for you to do. :)

[carolinoakland]

So, Joanne, we need every legal expert we can get! Get in touch with Transgender Law Center, TLC. They can help you find what you need... Carol

[Rianna Humble]

if you are looking at "trans law" , your issue is going to be the limited clientele and perhaps more importantly the limited resources of your clientele...

also, in many cases there are local and state laws in play...

JoAnne has already mentioned the differences in local and state law and having reread her contributions I don't see any suggestion that she intends to restrict her practice to Trans Law, rather that she is considering making this an additional service.

I agree with those who have said that there could be a demand but that many clients will not have much money. However, I do not believe that this caveat should prevent JoAnne from adding this string to her bow.


Our young/poor/minority sisters are unlikely to visit this website (which IMHO is mostly home to older, educated, white and relatively wealthy TG's), yet they have a great need for legal services which they cannot afford.

That is an interesting opinion, is it based on any evidence? In my case, I left education 36 years ago at the end of secondary school and I can only just afford to continue working where I am since my mortgage takes a large proportion of my salary and my transport costs take a fair part of what's left. You could call me relatively wealthy, but my question would have to be relative to whom?

[Empress Lainie]

Jo Anne, we had a transexual mtf attorney here, but she recently moved to San Francisco, and as far as I know there is none other here in Las Vegas. We have a fairly large TS community here. I realize that you would find it way to time consuming and difficult to make such a change, so I hope that you can do well in your present location. AND GIRL - WE DO NEED LEGAL HELP.

The gender marker is in my opinion the most important issue we have for pre-ops, male and female. Second is the restroom issue. I feel like a black person being asked to use the "colored restroom" when I am told I can't use the ladies room and have to use the unisex restroom. It is discrimination pure and simple but the gg's and nontrans guys don't see it that way.

I was shocked when my gg friend that always asks me to go to the ladies room with her said she wouldn't like it if all mtf's could use the ladies room. When I questioned her, she said but I know you and you are OK and won't go in there to harass, molest or rape some woman. (as if I could any way!)
So maybe this issue will never go away.

If I didn't pass as a gg all the time I wouldn't be able to use the ladies room. I have had only two confrontations, one where I was well known before transition, the other when a woman saw me with my not so passable SO and assumed we were male crossdressers. The only way I can fight back?
One of them has lost over $12000 in business from me, and the other one maybe $2000. Of course to the hotel casino it is nothing. But I do tell my friends and some join my boycott.

[Stephanie Miller]

Looks to me that you got lucky.
You now have the chance to show the world who you are and what YOU can do without a partner that is weighing down the teams potential, and obviously does not have the ability to do research. If he cannot even take the time to look up information (so he doesn't make such silly assed, hurtful and condemning assertions) on something as important as his partner making a life changing decision.... how much energy does he put out helping to defend his "paying "customers".
It's enough to .... well..... give a lawyer a bad name. :brolleyes:

You go girl. The best to you.

[PortiaHoney]

I was shocked when my gg friend that always asks me to go to the ladies room with her said she wouldn't like it if all mtf's could use the ladies room. When I questioned her, she said but I know you and you are OK and won't go in there to harass, molest or rape some woman. (as if I could any way!)
So maybe this issue will never go away.


Hi Lainie

This is an attitude I don't understand yet I know it exists. So, how does she feel about lesbians using the changerooms, or mothers taking their sons in with them? At what age does it become improper for male children to use the female restrooms? This is a fear that is propagated by the right wing christian/conservative movement that hates people like us AND a lot of normal/straight people fall for for this reasoning. ARGHHH.

How do we make them understand?

This could be a good topic on it's own. Sorry JoAnne, I do wish you well in your transition. Maybe by approaching more of your clients on a one to one basis will give you more of a feel (and confidence hopefully through those who understand) for how your business will continue after your life choice is fulfilled. I was really surprised by the lack of resistance to my transitioning and was lucky to have people actively encouraging me to follow my heart. With a lot of luck, you will too.

Good luck hun.

Portia