Getting Along WIth Yourself

[Persephone]

How well do you like yourself? I know you are one and the same person, but it may make this post clearer if I refer to "her" and "him."

Does your male self dislike your female self? Does "he" try to get rid of "her" by "purging?" Or, perhaps by overindulging in cheeseburgers and shakes so that she'll be fat and ugly?

Does your femme self come up with sneaky little ways to toss "him" out? Perhaps by showing up at inconvenient times? Or maybe by engaging in feminine mannerisms when "he's" trying to be "all guy?"

Do you actually get along with yourself? Or are your two sides really in conflict?

[windycissy]

Interesting question! I'd say my two sides peacefully coexist, "he" earns the money to buy "her" clothes and "she" works hard to keep "him" slim and well-groomed. So he's a better man for her, and she's smart enough not to crowd him out, since he pays the bills...does that make any sense?

[mapletree]

[I] am not sure where to start
[I] am a new member
I have learned contact is best
I am working on contact
And I have a ways to go

[Tranny Tee]

I am not two people, I just have two wardrobes. I accept myself for what I am, I am my fiercest critic and my biggest fan.

[Lynn Marie]

We get along well together even though we only rarely see each other. Sort of like roomates working different shifts passing in the night. There is a very real mutual respect that each of us has for the other that translates into a genuine friendship. Also each of us gets plenty of home alone time and we really don't compete for time or space. I like to think we're pretty well adjusted!

[Chloe Renee]

I am the same, when he thinks he is running the show. She is always there looming in the wings, pulling the strings.

[kellycan27]

The King is dead..Long live the Queen! :)

[April Renee]

I don't think I've ever really thought about this in depth but I feel like both sides complement each other in subtle ways. The only thing I may take note of is what I eat and my weight, however April loves those cheese bugers too!
.
April

[Karen564]

She killed Him, and now I'm much happier for it, because He doesn't get in my way anymore.....lol

:D

[Kathi Lake]

I'm kind of odd (Yes. I noticed. I'm sure you have as well :)). I don't think I really have a male or a female side. I just have me. She integrates with me and I integrate with her. There is no he. There is no she. There is no we. There is only me.

Now, is that "me" male or female? The answer - yes.

:)

Kathi

[Emily L]

I wouldn't say there's "like" and "dislike" for either side of myself - there are just times where I feel more comfortable as a guy, and other times when I just want to be Emily. So I like being the right person at the right time, instead of liking my male or female side per se.

Of course, both sides would love to lose a whole pile of weight while still being able to eat the cheeseburgers and shakes, but that's neither here nor there... :heehee:

[Hope]

I don't have a male self and a female self. I just have myself, and I get along with me quite well thank you. Lots of other folks think I am a looser... but that is their problem.

[t-girlxsophie]

I think My two sides,co-exist pretty well together.It may sound silly but in my mind they are two different distinct personalitys,who would get along regardless,he doesnt get out much though :D:D

[Joanne f]

I am always one person so i have no conflict there and i get on with myself very well it is just the rest of the world that i cannot get on with (mind you it could be that is it is the rest of the world that can`t get on with me ) :heehee:

[Deborah Jane]

They've never met, but she does spend his money before he gets the chance :brolleyes:
As for getting along, I don't see why they shouldn't, they both like the same things, eat the same food and are married to the same woman :)

[CherryZips]

No my conflict is with the rest of the world. Which rationally I except I can't change. But otherwise I would have to internalize that conflict.

er.. if you know what I mean.

[lee in a skirt]

I think in the past the two sides have been at conflict which resulted in me doing silly things to get rid of them but now they have found an equilibrium to co exist as one.

[shannonFL]

The male is the one with all the history, successes, failures, responsibilities...etc., Shannon is all for fun and escape..emotional discovery,
arts and creativeness, living in the moment. She can be very critical of him....
for screwing things up. He provides for our loved ones first, and for her last.
He cannot sabotage her...he is smooth shaven all over, carefully dieting to stay slim, skin care etc. She requires her own time...her own space...
after so many years of internal conflict and introspection, we have reached a reasonably happy agreement to coexist. Make sense?

[StephanieDragg]

This post made me think about alot of things, I know I am one person with 2 distinct personas. My male side works alot to make sure Stephanie can have a good time and buy nice things, but then she stays up late and makes him tired:heehee: In drab I always find my mind wandering to feminine things. When I am dressed with my friends I can talk about anything going on in my life, I can be very open. When I am in conversations with "normal people" I find I can only discuss my work and stuff about my kids usually, their usual response is "Man you gotta get a life!" to which I think to myself "get another life, I all ready have two!

[Victoria Satin]

Living as a closet cd is so hard sometimes. As I get older more of my feminine side keeps popping out. Sometimes my emotions are very stong and over power my male side which causes me to cry alot. But im learning to cope. I hope that one day I will be able to meet someone who understands me for who I am inside and accept that. :sad:

Victoria

[charlie]

Hello Persephone!
A true question about how close we are in putting ourselves together. For me no side rules. The female and male sides seem to be coming closer together all the time. The cheeseburgers have stopped, but eating only salad is not the way either. I'm coming together in the middle on lots of levels. Even accepting myself as such. I can't stop the CDing so I might as well embrace it!

[suchacutie]

My male self is fascinated with my feminine self, deeply interested in who she is, and maybe even a little frightened about what we might find when Tina is finally able to feel completely comfortable with her femininity.

But here's one: my wife asked me if Tina was jealous of my male self! This came up as life has been a bit intense for the last few months and Tina has has only a small fraction of our time. I responded that I missed her and that she understood that life is not "linoleum" (i.e. not repetitive or unintersting). So, my current emotion surrounding my feminine side is that I miss her!

tina

[AKAMichelle]

I think the 2 sides coexist rather well, but everyone once in awhile she wants out! :devil:

[tgirl2b]

Him And Her are alright with each other it's just all the others voices inside I have trouble with.

[SuzanneBender]

I'm kind of odd (Yes. I noticed. I'm sure you have as well :)). I don't think I really have a male or a female side. I just have me. Kathi you are the sweetest odd person I know then! I try to think of myself as not having a male or female side, but who am I kidding.

Lately it has been WTGWF (World TransGender Wrestling Federation) in my head. One moment I just want to body slam Suzanne, toss her over the top rope, and never see her again. The next moment I am enjoying a pure moment of femininity. I have tried purging and almost everything in between. The bottom line is I am a better person when Suzanne is allowed to be a part of my life. So I put on the referee shirt and try to find some balance in all of this.

Suzanne does stick her nose in when I am trying to throw the Male Bravado around. This happens a lot at work. I did it today in a conference setting. I stood up to talk about something One hand was emphasizing every word I said and the other one was poised on my hip thumb to the front back heel raised. I finished my thought and as I started to take my seat I realized what I had just done. For the next 10 minutes I just looked around the room trying to determine if anyone noticed.

I love both sides of me. Ultimately I don't want to loose either. Kathi and many of the other ladies on this site show that two can be one. No he, she, just me.

[Kathi Lake]

Suzanne, dear heart, where in the world does it specifically say that a man can't have femininity inside him? Why on earth are the two mutually exclusive or totally binary?

I like to think of myself as a "balanced" individual. Like some Eastern schools of thought, we have both yin and yang. Well, sometimes my yin takes the wheel while my yang is tucked securely away (I almost said that without snickering).

Suzanne, as I'm sure you know, you don't have to be female to be feminine, and the inverse is true as well. Let's stop pigeonholing ourselves, break down the walls of the box that holds us and just be us!

Kathi

[JiveTurkeyOnRye]

I refrained from posting in this thread yesterday because I didn't want to come across as pushing my anti-passing agenda again. But even when I did try to pass and on the rare rare occasion where I get really girled up even nowadays, I felt this way.

I think viewing your girly stuff as being another side of your personality is a recipe for disaster. Regardless of how you're dressed, you should feel like you're you and not two personalities in conflict, and if you do feel that way then it's time for some counseling because something is out of balance and needs to be worked out.

The difference in your personality between "boy" and "girl" mode should be no greater than the difference you might have in between "work" and "play" mode, or "date" and "friends" mode, just different volume levels on how you behave.


Suzanne, dear heart, where in the world does it specifically say that a man can't have femininity inside him? Why on earth are the two mutually exclusive or totally binary?


I wholeheartedly agree. This actually serves as a major motivation for my non-passing style of dress, but I'll save that for a more relevant discussion.

[SandraAbsent]

They've never met, but she does spend his money before he gets the chance

Lol, one thing that has changed for me significantly. I used to argue with my ex tooth and nail about her spending habits (spending my money.) Maybe I was just jealous! Maybe if I ever meet my next SO I'll be alot more understanding now that I'm not fighting this anymore. There is nothing more fun than spontaneous shopping.

As far as getting along with myself, I have to say that despite some struggles every now and then, I am coming to terms with myself, and I love being me, Persephone I love your posts. Every time I read one I know it will be insightful at best.

[5150 Girl]

No matter how drab and discusting I may look today, 90% of the time, "she" is still in charge.

[Danielle Gee]

As long as he doesn't ask her to mow the lawn, or change the oil in the motorcycle.. And as long as she doesn't ask him the pick out drapes:)

[Desiree8]

Desiree and J get along wonderfully well. There is no "he" or "she"; only "me"
I realize both male and female sides are blended together into one.
Oh, Desi did get a victory; she "reverse purged" ALL of the yucky guy underwear, which is fine! :heehee: She is such a stinker at times!

no, I can honestly say I really like, no love, myself. The whole package.
Hope this helps!

[Andromeda]

In answer to your question I like myself just fine. After all he is she and she is him and the two are one and the same.

[minalost]

I must say that in the past I haven't liked myself much. I really did split the "boy and girl" halfs, and they were at war! Both sides hated the other, and really wanted the other gone. But that was then, and this in now: I've really come to accept that the two parts I always thought I had are really just two sides of the same coin. This acceptance has really made a difference in how I feel about myself. It's become much more possitive and accepting. I've still got a way to go, but I think I see the light at the end of the "total acceptance tunnel..." Truly, my biggest conflict now is finding the time to do all the things I enjoy: reading, crossdressing, motorcycling, and spending time with my wife (the four arn't, or at least shouldn't, be exclucive of each other...).
:hugs:

[Karinsamatha]

I have to say that The male and female part's of me have been "growing" together for the last 4 years. In the beginning the male half was terrified of what was happening. She would not be denied. After a few "purges" and the stress that came from it we have been getting on fine, and merging over time. Life has been much less stressful since. :drink: